5 Dating Lessons that led to an Engagement

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Stephen and Melissa are what you call perfect opposites. Two years ago they met on PlentyOfFish and a few months ago they got engaged. Stephen is a creative, small town boy, and who can barely microwave popcorn, let alone cook a meal. Melissa is an analytical city girl, who loves to cook a feast while entertaining friends at home.  On their first date, Stephen and Melissa went for sushi, a ‘delicacy’ Stephen would have gladly passed on had it not been a first date.

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Despite their differences, they soon discovered their similarities were plentiful. They both have strong family values, enjoy similar activities like biking and running and want the same things for their future – kids, a house and more kids.

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But their dating experiences weren’t all fun and games. Before they bumped into each other on PlentyOfFish, they had their fair share of bad dates, long winded awkward phone calls, and moments where they wanted to throw in the towel. But they didn’t. What they learned through these experiences was what they didn’t want in a partner, which for them were invaluable lessons that led them to each other.

Here are 5 dating lessons that kept Melissa and Stephen in the game and ultimately led to their meeting and now their upcoming nuptials:

1. “Date a bunch of people to narrow down your search” – Stephen

As a single guy, Stephen met people using a mixture of PlentyOfFish, social events and just being out and about. But he purposely went on lots of dates. The first start to knowing what you want is knowing what you don’t want.

2. “Don’t be discouraged by the oddballs” – Melissa

Whether you’re meeting people on PlentyOfFish, Okcupid, the bar or the grocery store, you will run into oddballs. That’s a given. Melissa ran into a few, but she decided early on she wouldn’t let these people tarnish her dating experience. She continued to search for potentials on PlentyOfFish and do her due diligence before agreeing to meet in person.

3. “If I’m normal, there must be other normal people online too” – Melissa

This was a reminder Melissa would tell herself when she got some of those oddball emails described above. She also realized that there really isn’t a ‘normal’…it was more about what was familiar and common to her. This is why we’re often attracted to people who look like us or share similar backgrounds, values and religion. On dating sites,  it was easy to see someone’s differences and disparities than anything else. Keeping this in mind allowed Melissa to identify the difference between incompatibility and unfamiliarity.

4. “Don’t talk over the phone for hours before your date” – Melissa

Early on in her online dating career, Melissa learned a trick from a friend who had spent some time dating online. Her friend had made the mistake of spending several hours talking to her date over the phone the night before they were to meet in-person. When they finally met face to face the next day, they had nothing to talk about.  In the end, the date was a fail.

It’s perfectly fine to speak over the phone before your date, but don’t let it go on for hours. When  nerves are involved, it’s hard enough to find interesting topics to talk about, let alone if you’ve already discussed your childhood, university days and job over the phone the night before. If you want to give the first date, the best chance, make sure you have lots to talk about.

5.  “If you get stood up, brush it off” – Stephen

Yes, if you’ve ever been stood up, you know what a horrible feeling it is. Stephen knows the feeling all too well himself. These hurtful situations happen from time to time, but tend to be more about your ‘invisible’ date’s insecurities than it is about you. Her loss!

Have your own PlentyOfFish Success Story to share? Submit your story here and at least one photo and we may feature it on our blog!

 




There are 3 comments

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  1. Stephen Graveman

    Thank you so much for featuring Melissa and me Sarah, and thanks to everyone at Plenty of Fish for all that you do! It’s amazing to us to think that if we never gave POF a shot, we likely would have never met. I can’t even imagine. Thanks for giving us the tools and the opportunity, and I urge everyone who hasn’t found the right one yet to not give up. You never know when something incredible is going to happen!

  2. Aly Watson

    Stephen is long time good friend to my sisters and I. He always makes us smile and laugh and when Stephen met Melissa, it was really nice to see someone who could make him smile and laugh as much as he made us. We (Stephen and Melissa’s friends) love this couple a lot, and they are adorable together! This was a terrific pick for your blog. Good work POF!


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