5 Reasons Women Can’t Stand Passive Men

What do women want? If you don’t care, this article isn’t for you. However, when a real man meets a special lady, he will most certainly care about her, and what it takes to keep her interested. Some modern men may believe that chivalry and courting are old fashioned, unnecessary tactics of impressing the woman they desire, and have become passive in their pursuit.  The sexy and aggressive alpha-male has become a diamond in the rough, making way for the rise of the lazy man, and the Lazy Courtship. It happens because women let men get away with it. Low self-esteem causes some women to settle for less, or as some suggest, becoming the new men – aggressively going after what they want to make up for the aggressiveness men are lacking.

Gentlemen: Whether you are looking for a special lady or have found one, how is your passive demeanor going to show her how special she is to you, and keep her around? Here are 5 reasons why women can’t stand passive men:

1.      Women know that Men don’t Respect anything Easily Attained

It’s a catch-22. Many modern men don’t feel the need to put in effort when it comes to pursuing the woman they want. However, they also don’t respect a woman who’s easily attained. Even if a woman feels a connection with a man, and is willing to look past his frustratingly lazy courtship because she truly likes him for him – the man will wonder why his lazy courtship worked. He may even subconsciously lose interest because it was too easy. It’s a lose-lose situation. The win-win? Women need to have more self-respect and not settle for less than they deserve, while men could definitely step it up a little to show that they value how special their woman is.

2.      Women still want Men to take the Lead

It might seem old fashioned, but women are turned on by a man who takes the lead- or at least take notice of him. Women inherently love to be pursued. There’s no denying that women love a man who makes the plans, and makes statements instead of asking questions when the situation calls for it. Try a more direct and bold approach, instead of hanging back to gauge reaction. Try being forward by saying “Would you like to go out for a drink tonight around 7?” rather than the passive, “Hey, what are you up to?”

3.      Modern Women still Melt for Chivalry

Why is chivalry practically dead? Most likely because these days, a cute text message can be considered romantic, and even though women really appreciate cute texts, texting is easy – and lazy. It’s also a way for a man to effortlessly create the false intimacy needed in order to keep women on the hook and string them along. If their way of telling you they like you or miss you is via text message, and they’re not coming to see you, or calling you, or really proving it, this is the type of man who will probably break up with you via text message too. This man is winning! He gets to have you when he wants you, and all he had to do was move his thumbs for a few seconds. Real chivalry looks a lot different than this, and women still crave it. If a man cares about a woman, he should want her to be happy and want to be chivalrous. Chivalry is important in order for a woman to feel like she matters to her man, so guys, plan a cute date night every once in awhile!

4.      A Woman is a Reflection of her Man

When a woman is being treated well by her man, and her man is putting effort in to show her how special she is to him, it is reflected in this woman’s general aura. A woman who is being treated well by her man has a glow about her. She is happy, passionate, driven and ambitious. She is a reflection of her man.  If a woman has a man in her life who is lazy, passive, and doesn’t care enough or doesn’t think she is special enough to put in any real effort, this woman’s self-esteem and self-respect gets damaged.

5.      A Woman measures her Value to you in the amount of Effort you put forth

From a man’s perspective, he might think it’s awesome that his passive pursuit works. These men, however, are usually only hooking women with low self-esteem and low self-respect who don’t think they deserve much more than what they’re getting out of their man. I mentioned how texting is an example of a man’s lazy courtship as it can help create false intimacy. Real intimacy comes in different forms, and if a man doesn’t care about his woman that much, it will show in the minimal effort put forth – and a woman will realize she must not be that valuable to him. If she’s a good woman and worth it, some effort should be put forth on the man’s part. Go and see her if she’s sick instead of texting “feel better soon”, and call her on Wednesday to ask her out Saturday night instead of passively waiting until the weekend rolls around. Even small efforts like this can make a world of difference, so if you find a woman who is worth it, don’t hold back!

57 Comments

  1. Oceandreams65

    If a man really wants you in his life he will make the effort. When he makes the effort and she like him, she will respond. Men always say they are afraid of rejection but if he really wants a lady in his like nothing will stop him unless she says she is not interested. Ladies don’t play hard to get, they just want a man who will stand up for them, a champion so to speak. At his age especially we all have been through a lot good bad and indifference. Gentlemen, if you like her let her know. Ladies even if he chases you it doesn’t always mean he will stay. It is something you both have to decide. All of the above comments are true. I am so glad to see I am not alone..

    1. kofybean

      “When he makes the effort AND she like him, she will respond.”

      This is why men feel it is pointless. No matter how much effort you put in, she will still ignore you. How many women does it take before all that effort starts to wear him down, and he realizes it’s irrelevant?

  2. Matt Savage

    These are some great points, and a lot of this passive behavior is what we typically find in the stereotypically labeled “nice guys.” I think one thing we can add to this is that men and women who are passionate for a particular hobby, interest, or career; are much more likeable and attractive than those who take a passive attitude with their direction in life.

    1. CULTURAL SCIENTIST

      1. It’s not just the “nice guys”, although they would be among the first and easier (albeit one of the correct) recipients of this trait. But think of all the sports jock types, players and clubbers out there who are similarly passive for the sake of maintaining their “cool”. They are probably far more passive than the nice guys.

      2. Huh? Absolutely false. In fact, you are contributing to the problem in American society with such a comment. If you visit other cultures, particularly African and Latino nations, one of the first things you notice is how everyone seems to seamlessly blend in to their communities’ public spaces where they are most likely to mingle. Their populations and peoples are just as diverse as ours, but socially it’s as though they have all agreed that they are all part of a collective humanity, and their differences are superficial at best. This is healthy social thinking and leads to exponentially greater levels of personal fulfillment as social animals.

      In America and some other first world nations, however, any and all differences are magnified and glorified at almost every conceivable chance. Oh hi, you listen to rap music, sorry I listen to rock, we can’t date. Oh hi, you’re a city liberal, sorry I’m country and religious, we can’t date. It’s a caste system alright- a social one. Everyone here has their styles, their scenes, their friends, their groups and cliques, their HOBBIES, their INTERESTS and CAREERS, as you put it, and if you’re not part of those groups, the division is immediately felt. What you have in large American cities is millions of people constantly walking past each other who might as well belong on little island moons, so great is their inability to find common social ground and enjoy what is in other cultures an automatically given and assumed friendly and open social environment. America is the opposite of that in many respects, especially the larger cities in the coasts. Despite the known and measured lower average intelligence of the populations of the American South, the people are also generally happier there due to less picky and more inclusive (read “warmer”) social tastes (not including the effects of pronounced and ongoing racism there.)

      NOTE: I would mention some Asian cultures as well in that list for the concerning levels of homogeneity in those nations, except those populations are known to have highly introverted and socially prohibitive qualities as well. In other words, Asian cultures and peoples display an inherent cultural (not genetic) coldness which stymies their social life and ability to find new sexual partners and/or friends easily.

  3. Geoff

    Ahhh…the elusive Alpha male. The handsome tall hunk from the romance novels who’s about to rip your bodice off.

    Keep looking, single ladies…you’ll find him (in a movie) some day.

    1. CULTURAL SCIENTIST

      Although you are obviously a male taking a pop-culture based potshot at the opposite sex, there is some truth to your comment…

      Some of us in the department call it the “Sex in the City” syndrome, which corrupts the thinking of many American women today when it comes to successfully finding a healthy sexual relationship (as we use the phrase in our field, every heterosexual relationship is biologically also by definition a “sexual” one, based on two sexes). As a sidenote, it’s funny (and a little tragic) to mention that during and following the massive popularity of that show, that New York experienced a huge surge of women from all over the country (and some internationally) who essentially moved there to try to catch a glamorous whiff of the “Carrie Bradshaw” lifestyle…

      But I digress- this type of modern materialistic and largely American (although now increasingly Chinese as well) social thinking, marked by an exaggerated yet shameless materialistic view of the world, essentially posits women (knowingly or unknowingly in their own minds) as shoppers, and everything else in the entire universe including men as products to be either perused, purchased or discarded. This shallow phenomenon in the way in which many urban dwelling single females today choose to look at potential male suitors is very similar to the “romance novel” effect you mention. The result is the same- many American girls today have grown up in a society so saturated with commercial influences advertising an enhanced, flawless “product perfect” image of man (and this goes true for both sexes in the vice versa, albeit in different manifestations) that real men simply can’t compete anymore, no matter their level (or lack of) chivalry, confidence, intelligence, good looks, health, etc. These women which seem to now dominate the cultural landscape of today in large cities have jaded and deluded themselves past the point of any semblance or reasonable biological or human attraction, to the point that much of this country’s social fabric has been diluted and shredded beyond all decency as a result. It is truly an emotionally (and thus humanly) devastating national culture.

      It is not only the women’s fault, however, American men are guilty of much the same sexual objectification of women, leading overall to a saturated level of callous and empty social values that ultimately lead to an unsatisfied, frustrated and isolated populace, wherein the “shallow” people seem like the only ones getting anywhere. They dominate urban social scenes in an infectious manner which basically forces the remaining “decent” people to also become more shallow and assume equally empty and materialistic “Neo-American” values to compensate in order to fit in, leading to a disastrous runaway feedback effect. The most pronounced example of this can be found readily in Los Angeles, CA.

      NOTE: It is interesting to conclude that all of these admittedly failed results in the modern American social sphere are not the direct failings of a “bad people”, that is nonsense. Rather, it is a collective failing on the part of all American society to check and properly balance unfettered capitalism inundating American cultural values (the few that there were, this being such a young and chaotically historied nation to begin with) and replacing them with commercial ones.

  4. Ed

    Any article written by a woman (or even another man) aimed at men that uses the phrase ‘real man’ is just a shaming tactic. A man with self-respect doesn’t bend over backwards to please a woman (or anyone) in today’s non-traditional society. He looks for a partner, not someone who will judge him if he doesn’t plan a cute enough date night or doesn’t open the car door for her and throw his coat down in front of the car door.

    This is nonsense. Just be yourself and don’t jump through hoops just to get a stamp of approval from some princess. The right one will come along and see you for who you are, and not who this author wants to shame you into being.

    1. Rich

      Here, here dude. Very well put. These days if you use aggressiveness to fight for a woman you want your labeled as a stalker. It’s stupid is what it is. Women need to stop being so picky because they can be. The trouble is we live in a society filled with spoiled women who want their cake and eat it too because their blessed with good looks and feel their entitled to the best of everything. I hear all the time on this site women saying in their profile, they want a ‘nice guy’. That’s a load of crap! They just say they do. The same way men pretend they only care about a woman’s inner beauty as not to appear shallow to a good looking woman. It’s nothing but mind games! It’s no wonder Islam hates this country. We’ve become a society where superficiality has become everyone’s dirty little secret.

    2. dave

      absolutely agree with you,I know I’ve tried the chivalry approach as many of us guys have, these type of women are the ones to avoid!!!, who expect you to bend over backwards and give them there own way, no matter what and they will never admit to being wrong,who drain the life out of you then pull the floor from your feet when they dump you over something ridiculous. It’s not worth it. be yourself .I’m a so called “nice guy”,I can’t help it, as its my nature, but I’m sick of it at 41 and would rather be alone ,than somebody’s slave.And yes I admit to being too passive as in to keep her happy,I’m far from lazy ,put a lot into relationships and worked hard all my life and I have a respectful career as an electrical engineer. I have a friend , he treats women like crap, but he attracts them and they come naturally , because he’s himself(although a jerk) and is confident. Man up, don’t be a pussy, or you’ll be treated like one, and I agree what RICH says about islam, although I don’t condone the extremist actions at present

  5. Tom

    Where is chivalry ? Modern feminism slayed that dragon many years ago. We’re all ‘equal’ now ladies, the man is not expected to do any more than you. You’ve now gotten what you asked for…. get over it and move on…

    It was entertaining though hearing a ‘modern’ woman speak of traditional values…

    1. Cat

      Don’t mix up being polite with chivalry or sexism though. Don’t throw your coat down or anything but holding the door is just a nice thing to do for another person.

      1. Avren

        But I would never hold a door for a man unless he was medically weak or very old. It would be an unusual situation to say the least. Nor would another healthy man expect, or want, me to hold a door for him unless he was encumbered somehow.

        The only reason I would hold a door for a young women would be based on sexism.

  6. shutup

    Oh look at the passive guys responding to an article that speaks the truth. This is about going for what you want instead of sitting in your ass and make the woman come to you. I would spit in the face of such guy, I’m really tired of this damn passivity. Feminism is about women making their own money and having fucking rights to vote, own property and basically everything a man has denied a woman for centuries so what is your damn problem that we have lessen your load? You are not a gentleman out of your hate for women not because of feminism, get it right bitches!

  7. Sayitstraight

    I couldn’t agree more. This is not about equality….if it were it would be leaning heavily against women. Men ARE lazy when it comes to courting, using the equality argument is churlish and misguided at best! Next time you are dating just watch who puts in the effort, my bet is your lady will be doing it (sadly) – I just hope women get their esteem back on track enough to say “enough” – man up!

    1. financeguy

      It has nothing to do with self esteem. It’s a simple tit for tat retaliation. We don’t expect women to put in all the effort, only 50% of it. Just like we are equally treated and paid in the office, everything is 50/50 outside of it, including bills, and things like who asks who on a date first. The days men were “supposed to” proactively chase women are as much of a relic as the days women were “supposed to” be stay at home housewives. Welcome to post feminist society.

    2. kofybean

      Women sure have a lot of nerve calling men lazy when they don’t lift a finger either. If a man spends all his time and energy into courting you, just for you to sit back with zero effort and pick someone else, where does that leave him? So why should they put ‘more’ effort into it than you are?

  8. Handholding

    Every time someone says “man up” he/she shows that they themselves are not in control. It’s a passive-aggressive’s weak attempt to control another person by playing on the very insecurities this article complains about. Man-up will not positively motivate anyone. Ever.

    What women want and what they complain about are the same. They want chivalry but complain about equality. They want men to lead but do not want to be told what to do. They want independence but place their worth on what a man provides. The reality is that women want to be approached by a magical unicorn, and ONLY a magical unicorn at an exact time and place as she herself has determined since she was nine. She could be approached by any number of almost worthy suitors up until that moment to which she will ignore or take offense. When that magical twilight comes and goes and Prince TallDark N. Rich is nowhere to be seen she will write off men as failures to the human race.
    Yet, many women ARE successfully land great men while you’re sitting around contemplating men’s failures. In reality it is not the opposite sex that has failed, It YOU that has failed to, dare I say, “woman up” as your beauty fades into age, wine, and cake. Passed 25? Well, you’re just not good enough to attract your selected mate, so you’ll just have to select a mate that’s good enough.

    Stop relying on the opposite sex for your self-worth.

    If you NEED a man to kill himself to win your affection, you had better be beautiful, fit, classy, secure, decisive, YOUNG, have good genes and a strong family line, and know how to make him shine. That 24% body fat and shitty attitude toward men’s discretion will not win you any love except from lonely unsuccessful boys.

    Similarly for men: If you need a women, you are NOT being a traditional man. A traditional man seeks power, women are a benefit to this. Women go TO him, seek HIS attention, until HE chooses who he’ll allow into his bedroom, then maybe his life. He doesn’t meet her at a bar, a yoga class, a dance lesson; he meets her at a banquet or through successful collages, even while touring Germany. Places where a woman of “equal quality” can stand next to him while ascends.

    Keep complaining. Die alone.

  9. johnny

    I hate women who doesn’t put in the effort too. I put so much effort into a woman I liked and what did she do? She barely came and talk to me, never texted me first, or never even called me, I had to do everything. So I decided that she wasn’t worth it and dropped her. And guess what she cried about it and now all her friends hate me. Well if she had put in the effort I would of never dropped her. So to all you women out there, put in the effort too if you like someone. If not, just let him know that you are not interested in him.

  10. Roberto Diego

    Typical drivel from an out of touch with reality, frustrated feminist. Chivalry is dead, thank God, and jumping through hoops to maybe have some woman give you the time of day is no longer in play. Your only hope is that you can convince some white knight effeminate males to buy into your line of nonsensical feminist shaming and bow down at your feet, so he can thank you for the privilege of being in your presence. Problem is, that guy will soon bore you. Nope we are men gladly going our own way in exponentially increasing numbers and teaching our sons to do the same. To avoid the legal system in America that routinely and blindly awards vaginamony, child support, redistribution of a mans assets to a wife who divorced him so she could continue to pursue her affair(s).

  11. Maria

    Reading these comments… So sad. Both of my parents worked… My mom making far more than my father. However, he was still chivalrious and still courted my mom far into their marriage. Just because there are now laws are allow a woman to be treated like a human being …does not mean, men can’t still be gentlemen… And women can’t be ladies. You’re all missing the point.

    1. Newyorkgal

      FinanceGuy, I don’t think 50% effort from a woman will work like you say it does… I’m asking sincerely, has that worked for you in the past? In my experience, men don’t respect or value a woman who chases them, even if she is just aiming to make things “50/50.” Although I believe in equality, I do look for a man who is willing to actively pursue me, because that shows he’s actually interested… almost any man will say “OK” to a woman who pursues him just because he thinks it’s flattering, not because he gives a damn about her.
      Of course, a woman should be gracious and warm to a man she likes who is trying to make a good impression, not act overly critical and entitled. (Please read this part again, angry men… YES, you should make an effort for women you really like, NO, you should not tolerate crappy treatment from them )

  12. husband

    A Woman is a Reflection of her Man, it is true the other way also. A man is a Reflection of his Woman. My wife does not care about her body and appearance and her response always is I gave you healthy children.

  13. financeguy

    totally agree with Roberto, if you start calling her all the time, tell her how beautiful she is and how much you wanna be with her, aka “‘proactively pursue her” she’ll run for the fences. Been there, done that. Not gonna happen again. I got my own agenda, my own goals in life and if a girl wants to be a part of that, she’ll have to put in some effort and make a move.

  14. V

    I think the best takeaway here might be ‘don’t go looking for kiwis in a shoe store.’ A whole article and a whole lot of comments from people who sound like they are (for the most part) single. Why take relationship advice from people who don’t seem to be successful at relationships? It’s like taking financial advice from the homeless guy on the corner. I appreciate both what the author is trying to say and what the (admittedly) callous comments are trying to counter with, but the reality is that if you want a good relationship, look at the people in your lives with good relationships, and try to figure out how they made it happen. Adopt your own strategy of pursuit/being pursued based on personal preferences after that.

    1. Ariana

      Based on your logic, we should probably take relationship advice from our parents. And if people who are currently single shouldn’t state their opinion simply because they are not in a relationship, going by that logic, only drug users can be advocates for anti drug campaigns. Why take drug advice from someone who hadn’t been using drugs?

    2. david

      The problem is is that the majority of relationships are failing. 70 to 90% of failed marriages the petition is signed by the woman because she knows she cannot lose.

  15. John

    “A woman who is being treated well by her man has a glow about her. She is happy, passionate, driven and ambitious. She is a reflection of her man.”

    That is downright insulting to all women.

  16. wishIwasnthuman

    Chivalry is what women call sexism when they agree with it such as a MAN must hold doors for WOMEN but when they don’t like it such as a WOMAN must raise the family they go on and on about how that is sexist.
    i don’t think men are better than women, but at the same time the opposite it true.
    If you like someone you should go after them and if someone is coming after you you should respond weather to go for it or not, stringing people along is cruel and a huge dick move on anyones part in a relationship.

  17. B

    This article plays perfectly with the various seductions artists’ guides on tricking women into sleeping with you. Luckily for me I only date self respecting feminists so nothing in this article applies to me. I believe that there are a lot of women that feel this way. There are a lot of men who believe women are the weaker sex. There are a lot of men that want a submissive and obidient my wife. You two groups can have each other. I’ll stick with real women. If women want equality and respect this sort of traditional thinking needs to go away.

  18. Polion

    I have no intention what so ever to “pursuit” women. I guess you can just meet someone and see that you are compatibile. I am in long term realtionship for 7 years, (before that 5) and I didn’t have to approach to my today’s girlfriend, not because I was waiting on my balls for her to come after me but because in that time I had a smarter business and didn’t actually paid attention on girls around. And she is smart and self aware enough not to wait for me to acquire that ground breaking idea to approach her without knowing even her name. Article seems like remains from 19th century.

  19. Ken

    I think, as with most things, the arguments I’m reading are black versus white and the truth lies somewhere within the in-between gray area, however fine that line may be.

    On the one hand, women do not like to feel that their men aren’t invested in their relationships. They need men to actively show that they still desire their women and will put effort into making sure their women are happy. And despite when a lot of men these days seem to think, keeping your woman emotionally dperived is NOT conducive to an ongoing relationship.

    On the other hand, every man will unfortunately learn (hopefully as a young adult or even teenager) that more is not better when it comes to putting effort toward a relationship. We grow up learning that nothing in life comes without hard work and maximum effort, and when we apply that principle toward our realtionships, we get burned. This holds especially true during the beginning stages of a relationship.

    For example, the author writes “A Woman measures her Value to you in the amount of Effort you put forth.” This is absolutely true, but the article, much like most of the comments, is written from a biased or one-sided point of view. The author reveals that a woman who receives little effort/attention from her man is going to feel that she is worth little to him. I presume her point is that the relationship ultimately falters, and I’d absolutely agree. But the auther fails to mention that because a woman measures her value to a man in the amount of effort he puts forth, a man who puts forth a lot of effort (i.e. more than the woman) will make the woman feel as though she has more value than the man – that she is worth more. This renders the woman’s ego and sense of self-importance to become overly-enlarged. This also results in a relationship that falters.

    I think neither party in a relationship should act completely aloof and unattached, nor should either place extreme amounts of effort toward the relationship. Put in enough effort to show you care and are invested, but do not suffocate your significant other. Don’t be afraid to show you care and give the relationship a chance, but don’t force anything. “Stay within the gray.” If this strategy does not work, perhaps it was not meant to be; end the relationship and move forward.

  20. listentothisshit

    Things change ladies (using that term loosely), it’s only going to get worse from here (for you).

    You know the whole chivalry and being chased thing was all based on females being the fairer sex.. so the supposed emotionally stable men would take charge for you. Well it is now 2014 and women are no longer so emotionally helpless. As a matter of fact, I think women are evolving to be the confident ones because they are not usually the ones at risk of being rejected. In case you’re confused, that’s what confidence is based on. Duh.

    Unfortunately for you, the confident qualities you enjoy in men usually come along with some other alpha male characteristics that you don’t particularly like. Just like guys want a hot girl but don’t want the games and stuff that come along with it.

    It seems like alllll these gender relation issues we have come from both sexes being attracted to people slightly out of their league. We both know that there are people willing to date us, but don’t want them. We want the sexually attractive person with better options lol. Hey that’s how our culture is… we’re always looking for better. Well this is why you can’t have better:) good luck everyone!

  21. Duke

    5 Reasons why men are sick of Women (who can’t stand passive men).

    1. Because men are sick of women that crave being the centre of attention..just like a child.
    2. Because men are sick of women that cannot control their Hollywood traits of Hypergamy.
    3. Because men are sick of women that won’t gravitate toward creativity, nature and intellect.
    4. Because men are sick of women that won’t take responsibility for their own happiness.
    5. Because men are sick of women that don’t know that the Gig is up in the Western Gynocentric World; Western Men are not going to take the sexist, disposable, unequal, double standard, hypocritical, hateful treatment anymore. Sick of being blamed for everything. Sick of feminism subliminal subverting our democratic society. It’s a form of Totalitarianism and Statism. Wait for the Muslim take over. Then you’ll see how things work. Oh and, thank god for free porn.

  22. Chris

    Ya ok, so in all this, what effort do women do? Women ask this and that from men and make expectations that have alot of men making crazy efforts and cant even attein this expectation women have of men, what do women do in all this? Put make up on? Make themselves look pretty? Cause men make 95% of the first moves, have to be strong and a gentleman at all times, wtf do women do? Seriously, were at a point of not being used to having women make the first move that when they do we ask ourselves, whats wrong with her! Women have nothing to offer but demand the respect they dont give themseleves, call me a passive guy or wtv u want, but im an asshole and i get women all the time,i wasnt always an asshole, i used to be timid but confident, caring, loving faithful and naive apparently, well women made short work of that by walking all over me, so u created an asshole, and to all the women that will say not all women are like this, actually how many of you women that say that actually go out and spend your life dating other women? How many og you are convinced that youre not what im describing? Cause the women that do walk all over us are convinced theyre not like this either, this is what i observe from women and on a daily routine im searching to be proven wrong but everything i see proves me right!

    1. Donna

      Chris, if you allowed bad experiences with women turn you into an —hole, then you were probably that way all along. It is okay to not quickly trust, however you don’t have to deliberately hurt people either. I have had over my share of hurts and disappointments fom men, however the last thing I want to do is hurt every man I come in contact with. I rather not date at all if I feel so terribly towards the opposite sex.

      After reading so many negative comments by the men, I am glad to not be bothered with the pressures of dating. By the way, no matter what many of you men think, I will always believe in chivalry. If a man feels like he is jumping through hoops by showing basic sincere kindness and respect, then he can keep it moving.

  23. mark

    i recently started talking to a girl and we stated txting i did hear from her virtually evry day then we met up for a date which i thaught went well. after that we were still txting and then all the suddon i had nothing at all no txt no call and no explination or anything i was thinking of ringing her again and asking where i stand but im not sure what to do i think i deserve to know

  24. That Dude

    Funny, I just came from a similar article with genders reversed and women were absolutely flipping out over there, but here it’s all agreement on their end and the men flipping out instead. Everybody is just so entitled.

    I can relate to you dudes though; seems like we’ve all been in that relationship with one-sided communication and it’s always the women who don’t hold up their end of the conversation. Got to a point in a relationship once where I was the only one who EVER initiated. I stopped to see how long it would take her to talk first and three months later the first text I got was her wondering “where we stand”. Her excuse was that she was bad with phones.

  25. Giancarlo

    Ok…what I’m going to say is going to blow all your minds away…ready….it’s called use your judgement to assess things! If a woman is walking all over you, leave!, if she’s demanding too much of you, leave! if you don’t like the way she looks, leave! if she’s draining all of your energy, leave!, doesn’t give you a sleepy-time blowjob? leave! then repeat the search until you find one that’s jussssssssssssssst righttttttttttt

  26. Jeff

    It seems there is a lot of pent up anger regarding the roles we play when it comes to relating to connecting with another…. and these few simple words become the pinprick that unleashes that anger.
    The answers are hidden between the lines you read everyday in their profiles. Desperate pleas from exasperated women ” i want real man” “honest and truthful” “any genuine guys out there”
    They’re fed up with men who take the easy way… telling a woman what you know she wants to hear, to get what you need from her.
    It’s only natural to become jaded and paint all men with the same brush, once you’ve been hurt a few times.
    As men get better at the art deception, women strengthen the walls that protect their hearts… some take revenge and hurt back.

    This is where we are , stuck in a cycle of ” he/she did this … all men/women are false”

    Something has to give somewhere doesn’t it?

    To any person with a sense of awareness the answer is obvious.
    It’s going to take some patience and understanding to break this cycle.
    It starts with taking a good hard look at what has taken place in your life that has shaped your attitude towards others.

    Take some time to learn about YOU ,your flaws as well as the good stuff.
    Then BE that authentic person.

    1. Donna

      Thank you Jeff; you seem like a person of good reason, while the other men are coming across as bitter and entitled. We all must look within ourselves and see where we have gone wrong.

  27. Brett

    #4 and #5 on the author’s list are both classic co-dependent behavior. There are a lot of women like this but not all women are like this. Some women have a lot of confidence and that’s sexy.

  28. Jim bob

    As a man. Am not going to waste my time chasing somebody that is already juggling 4 men. So this whole deal of men will make time to pursue a woman is a load of garbage. I have better things to do in life aside from trying to compete to be the next one at the “crab fest”

  29. Former gent

    If a man shows a woman she is special to him, she will lose interest. If a man shows he cares, she will lose interest. She assumes he is needy and moves on. If women want men who do these things, then show it by being with them. Not jumping into the arms of the guys who treat them like an after thought. Men are “lazy” because they are problem solvers. They see the caveman approach works, and imitate it.

  30. NellyK

    Great article, I agree with the leading part, I constantly try to find this in a guy. Taking control over the date shows that he is confident.

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