When You’ve Got 99 Problems And Your Sibling Vs. Your Partner Is One

There is only one major celebrity story dominating the media over the past two days that really matters – the  Beymercency! Just yesterday, TMZ posted a video of Solange Knowles, sister of Beyonce, going  H.A.M on Jay Z in an elevator after the MET Gala after-party. There is much speculation over the motives behind the attack and what provoked it, but even without audio, it’s safe to say that Solange was not impressed with Jay Z.  And what is Beyonce doing as this scene unfolds in front of her? She’s just standing there stoically, barely batting an eyelash. Like she’s seen this before and it’s just a regular ol’ Monday night.

The internet has since exploded with reactions to the altercation, sparking debate over how Beyonce handled the situation. Was she right to stand back and let them hash it out? Should she have intervened more? Could this have been prevented? What does one do when their partner, or someone they’re dating is in their sibling’s bad books?

To avoid your own brand of elevator beatdown between your nearest and dearest, here’s where to start when a sibling (or family member) and partner just can’t get along:

1. Don’t Take Sides 

Or at least avoid it! Talk to each person in private about their feelings, and allow them to express why they may be feeling contempt towards the other party involved. Be sure to let both your partner and your sibling know that your relationship with each them is important to you, but explain that you shouldn’t have to choose sides. Make sure your sibling respects the fact that you’re an adult, and more than capable of making your own decisions and managing your own romantic relationships. It’s not up to you change their opinion, but you need to make sure you’re being heard. Unless you put a stop to it, the disrespect will continue to escalate, and your partner could feel abandoned. On the flip side, be sure to let your partner know that your family will continue to be an important part of your life, and you’re willing to compromise to come up with a solution that has their best interests in mind.

2. Don’t Get Them Drunk Together

Obviously this sort of situation makes for awkward family game nights and very tense holiday dinners. Sometimes these interactions are an unavoidable part of life, but be sensitive to the emotions that are riding high on both sides, and consider making everyone’s lives easier by avoiding possible confrontation whenever possible. Booze infused family reunion on the horizon? Leave your boyfriend at home and bring your best friend who your grandma seems to love instead. It’s no secret that alcohol escalates situations very quickly, so the LAST thing you want to is confine the two to a small space – ex/ an elevator. 

3. Do Give It Time

It’s entirely possible that some time just needs to pass before your sibling and partner warm up to each other and accept their respective roles in your life. Sometimes, especially when there are deeper issues at play, time only fuels the fire and brings up further resentment. When it comes to this point, you will exhaust yourself with efforts to unite them, so you may have to come to terms with their feelings. Your partner might not be right, and your sibling may not be right, but there are some things you can’t change. If this is the case, you may need to sit down alone for a minute and listen to this song.


Shannon Smith

Posted by Shannon Smith

Shannon has been putting the ‘elation’ in the ‘Public Relations’ team at PlentyOfFish since joining the company in early 2010. Her penchant for jokes and all things hilarious can be topped only by her fierce love of writing. She also has a weird obsession with celebrities, and this one time she rode an elevator with Sofia Vergara.

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