The concept of dating has changed, and we live in a brave new world when it comes to looking for love. Singles have a lot more options than they used to, which can translate to less motivation to settle down. The invention of the smart phone and the growing popularity of online dating offers readily available and widely used dating apps and a whole slew of options. Easy “swipe-right” technology and location-based services present us with instant gratification when it comes to our search for dates. Single men and women have to work much harder to stand out among the ocean of options they know their prospect (and competition) probably has. Here are some modern dating dilemmas, and how to conquer them:
Modern Dating Dilemma #1: Overwhelmed by Too Many Options
Why it’s an issue: When you get overwhelmed by the volume of messages in your inbox, or large number of matches, you can get exhausted just looking at it and ignore all of them. In this modern paradox, single men and women are often left with no dates for no good reason.
How to Conquer it: Instead of swiping right or clicking “Yes” to anyone with a cute smile or a nice… shirt, try being much more selective. You’ll be left with higher quality matches, and the quantity will not overwhelm you. You’ll end up having the time to get to know the matches you do have, because you’re not trying to find time to message 100 people. Try actually reading the profile before you message someone!
Modern Dating Dilemma #2: Discouraged and Unmotivated by Technology
Why it’s an issue: Nowadays we have access to certain technology like Whatsapp messenger, for example, that allows us to see when someone we are dating was last online. Even Facebook and online dating sites tell us when someone was last active. This instant information isn’t necessarily a good thing. We get discouraged that he or she was online 5 minutes ago, yet we haven’t received a message in days.
How to Conquer it: Don’t look! You don’t want to know when someone was last online – because you shouldn’t bother to read between lines if they don’t exist. If they haven’t messaged you in a couple of days, move on. They’re obviously either not interested, or they don’t have the drive you look for in a significant other. Focus instead on someone who takes initiative and pursues you or respects how proactive you’re being in your search, because that’s what you really want. You don’t need someone who messages you every day, but anyone who can go 3 days without talking to you isn’t good enough.
Modern Dating Dilemma #3: It’s Moving Too Fast – Are We Even Exclusive?
Why it’s an issue: No, you may not be exclusive – but you may want to be. In today’s hookup culture, it’s more common than ever to be seeing more than one person at a time. Rather than taking things slowly, everyone is driving in the fast lane. It may become apparent that a good idea would be to hold off on getting intimate until you’re exclusive. Unfortunately, if you’ve already gotten intimate with someone, you’re left unsure of what to do – and unsure of where you stand.
How to Conquer it: So, maybe you’ve already been intimate with someone you like. If you’re feeling unsure of whether or not you’re just a hookup to them and nothing more, sit back, and let their actions prove to you what you actually mean to them. If they prove that you are, in fact, just a hookup – move on and start fresh with someone new. Hold off on getting intimate until you are exclusive – rather than participating in the hookup culture.