One of the number one questions constantly coming up in the date-o-sphere is, “What should I talk about on a date?” When the conversation runs dry, it’s an instant mood killer, and panic can set in. There is no reason it has to be this way.
The main point of any question on a first date is to learn about your prospective partner but in a fun way which keeps the conversation engaging. The main guideline can be this; ask questions that go deep, and avoid superficial small talk. What someone was doing today probably isn’t as interesting as finding out about why they chose to jump out of an airplane in the Congo, although it might be a good starting point.
The ‘why’ is everything in creating a meaningful conversation. Learn what motivates your date and what journey brought them to this point in his/her life. Go deep and find out who your date is, but don’t be dry and overly serious. Some jokes and teasing will keep it light while you discover if you have a good connection or not.
Normally, on the first date, both people will be a bit nervous, so open up with a lighthearted comment. It really can be about almost anything but you can start with a simple compliment as long as you mean it. Otherwise a joke or mundane comment about the day doesn’t hurt. The objective is to deliver a smile and disarm a potentially nervous date.
Along with your smile and opening comment, make sure to keep strong eye contact.
A question to start with: What do you do?
Asking someone what they do for a living may extremely mundane by itself, but it’s what you say after she tells you the ‘what’ which will create an engaging conversation. The conversation will become more intricate and engaging the deeper you go using the information that comes out at each step of the way.
Every time a new bit of information comes out, just add additional content by relating your own personal experience or opinion, then tag on another question to go deeper. The basic formula is: Question + Listen + Add new content + Make a new question.
For example, if she says, “I like cooking vegetarian dishes even though I eat meat.” Now you can reply with your own opinion on the topic, “Oh really? I used to be a vegetarian but my best friend went to chef school and that all went out of the window (new content). Why do you prefer vegetarian cooking even though you eat meat? (New question going deeper)”
Now she will have a chance to explain, and along with her explanation will come out all sorts of interesting information, each bit of which could become a conversation on it’s own.
Basically you could almost ask anything because it’s going to be based on your own unique experiences in life, but as long as you go deep and add your own experiences to the conversation, you can avoid turning your date into an interview. A meaningful conversation will go a lot further to get to know someone than a little small talk or talk about the day.
Body language is also extremely important in this equation but that will be explained in the next segment on how to have a meaningful first date conversation.
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