Pretty much every single girl, no matter how confident and fabulous, will reach a point of frustration in her dating career. A point of wondering, if she’ll ever find the right guy for her, and if he even still exists. Maybe all the guys she dates are weirdo’s, maybe she only goes for guys who don’t want her back…and, is inexplicably put off, by the ones who fall at her feet.
No matter what the scenario, it can be pretty tough to stay positive, and not give into that underlying fear that maybe, there’s no one…maybe you’ll end up alone…maybe all the good guys really are taken.
Take a deep breath and stop worrying! Many women have had these fears and made it out on the other side in relationships or happily married, including myself!
Here are a few important things to remember if you are single and frustrated:
There is a lid for every pot
Seriously, there is. Pretty much everyone finds their person, their “lobster.” You’ve probably dated some serious nut-jobs, for lack of a better adjective. The guys who you went out with and wondered, “who in the world would get into a relationship with that creep?” Then maybe one day you find out, that said creep, is now happily married! You may scratch your head and wonder how, but that’s not for you to figure out. The takeaway, is there is a lid for every pot!
For some, finding that lid is easy and may happen early in life. For others, it may take a touch longer. There are years of bad dates, of hope followed by rejected and renewed hope, and just when you’ve had enough…something clicks! The lid fits perfectly into place.
You can’t win them all
Probably the hardest and most frustrating aspect of dating is meeting a great guy, who has everything you want; a guy who you genuinely enjoy spending time with…and he doesn’t feel the same.
You take it personally, and think this means something about you. You wonder what you did wrong, why you weren’t “good enough.” It’s hard and it’s painful to digest, but it’s not personal. You simply can’t win them all and that is OK.
Sometimes, you’re simply not compatible. Try not to get deterred or jaded, just accept that he isn’t the right person for you and move on!
A relationship won’t cure you
If you’re single and frustrated, recognize that being in a relationship, won’t cure any deep rooted issues.
It’s a common trap to think everything will be OK, as soon as you find the right guy, but that is rarely the case. Whatever emotional weight you’re carrying, will just spill into the relationship, and instead of being personal problems, they will become relationship issues.
Take time to really work on yourself and get to a strong and confident place before you jump into a healthy relationship.
No relationship is better than a bad relationship
You cannot shove a square peg into a round hole. You can’t force someone to be what you want them to be. You can’t carry the team in a relationship and do all the work.
Many women make the mistake of sticking it out with a guy, trying to force a bad relationship into a good one, simply because they don’t want to be thrown back into the dating waters. They plug away for months, maybe years, forcing it to work. And in the end, they are usually left with a broken heart and wasted time they can never reclaim.
Being single and happy is much better than in a relationship and miserable. Don’t let your fears of being single for life, keep you trapped in a toxic relationship. This never ends well.
More than anything, it’s important to stay positive, as trite as this may sound. Take control of your thoughts. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself that you’re single, embrace it and enjoy this “me” time!
Men desire a positive woman. When you ruminate on negative thoughts, you project negativity. You may have a smile on your face, but the negativity will still surface through body language and attitude. Make an effort not to get down on yourself.
He’s out there and when the time is right, you’ll find each other!