Being single can be a challenge, whilst it’s a great time to grow as an individual, often we start to question why and where our previous relationships went wrong. Most people have had to kiss a few frogs before finding their prince, but surely there is a limit right?! Perhaps it’s time to look at things from a different point of view: Are you the one who is self-sabotaging your chance at love? Whilst it may not be nice to admit, we have to take responsibility for what we contribute to our relationships and admit where we are going wrong.
Here are 5 ways to tell you are self-destructing your dates :
1: You keep changing your mind and the plans
When you are inconsistent from the start, you send the wrong message to your new suitor. Constantly changing plans, cancelling, rescheduling etc. will make your date wonder if you are even serious at all or perhaps just taking them for a run! If you are unsure, then it’s better not to commit to a decision or a date rather than give them an ever changing answer.
2: You come on way too strong
The first date should be about to getting to know each other on a friendship level rather than delving into each other’s ultimate expectations and life history. There should be a casual atmosphere and no pressure or feelings of unmet expectations. Try to live in the moment rather than forward planning in your mind, it will help you relax and keep things in perspective.
3: You never get a call back
There is a reason why we are single and why we develop certain patterns in our love life. If your dates never go beyond 1 or 2 meet ups, then chances are you are either dating the wrong type of person over and over again or you have created some bad habits that scare men away.
4: You talk about your ex’s
Bringing your past up when you are trying to connect with someone new is not the best idea! Make it a rule of thumb that you never talk about your past relationships, even when probed to. Why? Because it isn’t necessary, especially in the initial stages. Chatting about relationship failures will only dampen the mood or bring up a lot of bad feelings.
5: You forget to have fun
Date night should be fun! It’s not meant to be an interview or a chance to screen prospects to be your future spouse. Learn to relax and not be so focused on trying to get boxes ticked but rather just getting to know the person in front of you. Only time will tell if they are the right one for you, it’s not something you can predict after throwing a bunch of questions at them.