5 Dating Lessons that led to an Engagement

Stephen and Melissa are what you call perfect opposites. Two years ago they met on PlentyOfFish and a few months ago they got engaged. Stephen is a creative, small town boy, and who can barely microwave popcorn, let alone cook a meal. Melissa is an analytical city girl, who loves to cook a feast while entertaining friends at home.  On their first date, Stephen and Melissa went for sushi, a ‘delicacy’ Stephen would have gladly passed on had it not been a first date.

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Despite their differences, they soon discovered their similarities were plentiful. They both have strong family values, enjoy similar activities like biking and running and want the same things for their future – kids, a house and more kids.

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But their dating experiences weren’t all fun and games. Before they bumped into each other on PlentyOfFish, they had their fair share of bad dates, long winded awkward phone calls, and moments where they wanted to throw in the towel. But they didn’t. What they learned through these experiences was what they didn’t want in a partner, which for them were invaluable lessons that led them to each other.

Here are 5 dating lessons that kept Melissa and Stephen in the game and ultimately led to their meeting and now their upcoming nuptials:

1. “Date a bunch of people to narrow down your search” – Stephen

As a single guy, Stephen met people using a mixture of PlentyOfFish, social events and just being out and about. But he purposely went on lots of dates. The first start to knowing what you want is knowing what you don’t want.

2. “Don’t be discouraged by the oddballs” – Melissa

Whether you’re meeting people on PlentyOfFish, Okcupid, the bar or the grocery store, you will run into oddballs. That’s a given. Melissa ran into a few, but she decided early on she wouldn’t let these people tarnish her dating experience. She continued to search for potentials on PlentyOfFish and do her due diligence before agreeing to meet in person.

3. “If I’m normal, there must be other normal people online too” – Melissa

This was a reminder Melissa would tell herself when she got some of those oddball emails described above. She also realized that there really isn’t a ‘normal’…it was more about what was familiar and common to her. This is why we’re often attracted to people who look like us or share similar backgrounds, values and religion. On dating sites,  it was easy to see someone’s differences and disparities than anything else. Keeping this in mind allowed Melissa to identify the difference between incompatibility and unfamiliarity.

4. “Don’t talk over the phone for hours before your date” – Melissa

Early on in her online dating career, Melissa learned a trick from a friend who had spent some time dating online. Her friend had made the mistake of spending several hours talking to her date over the phone the night before they were to meet in-person. When they finally met face to face the next day, they had nothing to talk about.  In the end, the date was a fail.

It’s perfectly fine to speak over the phone before your date, but don’t let it go on for hours. When  nerves are involved, it’s hard enough to find interesting topics to talk about, let alone if you’ve already discussed your childhood, university days and job over the phone the night before. If you want to give the first date, the best chance, make sure you have lots to talk about.

5.  “If you get stood up, brush it off” – Stephen

Yes, if you’ve ever been stood up, you know what a horrible feeling it is. Stephen knows the feeling all too well himself. These hurtful situations happen from time to time, but tend to be more about your ‘invisible’ date’s insecurities than it is about you. Her loss!

Have your own PlentyOfFish Success Story to share? Submit your story here and at least one photo and we may feature it on our blog!

 

Online Dating Tips for Celebrities

Whether you’re a celebrity, politician, professional athlete or a regular joe, we’re all looking for love (if we have yet to find it). And more and more, well known celebrities like Patti Stanger and Martha Stewart are using online dating sites to help them find just that. But how should a public figure approach online dating? How can they successfully maintain their privacy and avoid a potential media frenzy when they go online?

Here are four tips to get any public figure started on their online dating journey and help them to realize it’s possible to find love online, celebrity or not.

1. Post regular point-and-shoot photos but keep them hidden. When it comes to photos, avoid all professional, magazine quality photos. Grab your iphone and have a friend snap a few candid shots of yourself  – smiling, laughing, riding your bike, playing tennis, walking your dog etc. Make sure one of these photos include a clear head shot. And when you upload these photos, mark them as ‘PRIVATE’. This will ensure they are not posted on your profile.

2. Use the Search feature to find a compatible match. Since you won’t have a photo attached to your profile, you are unlikely to receive many (if any) messages. Use the Advanced Search feature to search for singles that have qualities that are important to you. This is where you need to think about your deal breakers and your must haves. Choose 3 of each, no more. For example, if you know you would never date someone who smokes, or doesn’t own a car, remove these users from your search criteria to avoid wasting time on people you’re not interested in. If you have downtime on set or on the road, download a mobile dating app so you can search for singles easily and efficiently on the go.

3. Send photos privately in messages. Given the nature of online dating, you’re much more likely to get a reply from your message if you have a photo attached (or a public image on your profile of course). Sending several photos is even better. This strategy ensures that who won’t be bombarded with nonsense emails from fans but also ensures the people you reach out to can decide with adequate information, if they’re interested in you or not.

4. Be selective about who you message. As a well known personality, it’s important that you reduce the chances of your profile being leaked to the press. Therefore, it’s important to be selective about who you reveal yourself to. Read the users’ description, interests and values. Get as much information about the person in order to determine whether he or she may be a good fit for you. If there is still doubt, don’t attach your photo in the first message you send.