Picture this: You’re sitting down together in a cute cafe, the server has just taken your drink orders as you settle into your booth together, you look her in the eyes (you like her a lot already), and THIS is the moment to start a great first date conversation…but you’re drawing a blank.
Have you ever been so nervous on a date, you immediately draw blanks and repeatedly say the words um yeah…um yeah..haha…so..yeah…while your date blankly stares at you from across the table?
If you’ve answered yes to this, listen up! You’re in for a real treat with this blog post. Your days of awkward silences are officially over my friend.
The key to great conversation is finding out what makes the other person tick and whether you share mutual passions and interests. The only way you’re going to unlock this secret is by ASKING YOUR DATE QUESTIONS and really listening to their answer.
A first date can be a nerve-wracking experience at the best of time so don’t blow your chances before you’ve even started. Avoid these conversation-killer topics and bag yourself that second date with ease.
Talking about yours or asking why they spilt up with theirs is off-topic. No one wants to hear about exes and certainly not when trying to impress someone new. Mention your ex and it will put a downer on your first date that will be hard to shake.
Plans for the Future
5 year plan conversations should definitely be shelved until further notice. For both men and women this rule applies, don’t start planning your lives together on the first date!
Your knowledge of serial killers, nude photography and road kill recipes are best left until you get to know the person better. Your interest may be perfectly healthy and intellectual but they don’t you well enough yet to make that distinction.
Whether you’re moaning about your boss, your job, your roommate or your family – just don’t! A first date is not the time to be a grumpy bum! Likewise, don’t complain about the choice of meeting place if it was your date’s idea.
You might not have much in the way of confidence but going on about how you’re ‘such a loser’ isn’t going to win you any sympathy – or a second date.
Politics or Religion
While it is good to know where a prospective partner stands on important subjects, best to leave these until the third or fourth date at least.
Don’t start talking about how much you earn and never ask how much your date earns. Discussing how much you spent on your handbag or the dress you’re wearing is a no-no as well. You’ll either come across like you are bragging or as someone totally materialistic.
Do not assume that your date will want to have sex with you after the first meeting. A first date should be light, fun and with minimal pressure. If you bring up the subject of sex, you are putting your date under pressure to choose right then and there and they may not be comfortable with that.
Of course it is a good idea to share details about yourself on a first date, don’t go overboard, especially with personal secrets, such as a current family dispute or that time you were arrested for public nudity. It can be liberating to share with a stranger but it is not the right tone for a first meeting.
You have only just met this person and, even though you’ve got butterflies and think they are The One, coming on too strong is likely to send them running. If it is meant to be, you’ll get that second date.
If you are going on a blind date, or they don’t quite meet up to their photos, don’t point out that you had higher expectations. It is very rude. If they are not for you physically, be polite, see the date through and then let them down gently later.