9 Ways To Help Put The Spark Back In Your Relationship

When you first begin dating someone, everything is new and exciting, and you really enjoy each other. Over time, even though your feelings may be even stronger, the newness and excitement seems to disappear, and relationships seem more like work than fun and romantic. A relationship is like anything else you do in life. In order for it to be a success, you need to work at it. Today we are going to take a look at 10 ways that you can put that spark back into your relationship.

Keep a Bit of Mystery – Don’t always be predictable. Make an effort to keep surprising your partner, so there is always an element of mystery in the relationship. This helps to keep things exciting, and keep the desire going.

Ask about Their Day – When your partner gets home from work, ask them about their day. But, don’t just ask for the sake of asking. Really listen to what they have to say, and show that you are truly interested in the things that they do in the run of a day.

Kiss a Lot – When you first started dating, you likely kissed a lot. If that has slowed down, it is time to get back at it. Over time, many couples tend to stop hugging and kissing. The more you do it, the healthier your relationship will be.

Display Your Affection – Don’t keep your affection bottled up, or private. Show small displays of affection by holding their hand in public, or giving them quick kisses every so often just to let them know that you love them. This doesn’t mean that you have to go full-on with public displays of affection. It’s the little things that matter.

Try New Things in the Bedroom – Get a book of kamasutra and go through it together, and make a list of at least 10 new things to try.  Take a look at the things that turn you on. Read an erotic book, or movie to set the mood. Once you know what makes you tick, you can share this with your partner.

Be Adventurous and Active – Always be willing to try new things with your partner. When you can be adventurous together, you are creating lasting memories that are going to help make you even closer to each other in the long run. Try some activities together, like exotic traveling, salsa dance and unusual painting lessons.

Do Something New – Maybe you need to have a new experience together. Is there something that you are both interested in trying, such as a cooking class? Doing something new and exciting will help to boost your dopamine levels.

Turn off Your Phones – Take an hour or so each day to turn off your phones, computers, the television, etc. and just talk to one another. It is all too easy to get caught up in technology and avoid meaningful conversations. Engaging in deep conversation can be great for the mind and soul.

Take a Staycation – You don’t necessarily have to spend a lot of money on a trip to enjoy a little getaway together. Book a room at a local hotel, and enjoy a staycation with each other. Pick up your favorite meal, bring it back to the room, and spread it out on the bed to enjoy it together.

How to Compliment a Woman (Without Mentioning Her Looks)

Here’s the thing. We all love a good compliment from the right person. Heck, we love a good compliment from any person. I’m sure there are people out there in the world that don’t get a small high from being complimented – I have yet to meet them. But, here’s the other thing. So often women are primarily given compliments centered around the way that they look (mind blowing, right?!) Which, if we’re all being honest, can be great; it’s a good thing to take pride in the way that you look and when that is recognized, it feels good – flaunt your stuff!

However, the way we look is predominantly a result of our genetic makeup, and not something the average individual had too much of a hand into creating. There are so many other interesting facets that contribute to the person a woman is. Certain attributes that she has cultivated in all her years of life that make her unique. These are the things worth highlighting when paying a woman a compliment. The list could go on forever, but these few attributes are a great place to start:

Her Sense of Humor

There is something extra special about a woman with a sharp wit. If a woman can make you laugh, let her know. Being a funny person takes intelligence, it’s not easy to be funny. Or, maybe she isn’t the funniest, rather, the kind of person that can take a joke, or is generally jovial – it’s worth acknowledging.

Her Intelligence

There is probably nothing sexier than when a person can acknowledge your brain! Your intelligence is who you are. It’s what you know, what you remember, how analytical, or inquisitive you are and ultimately how well you represent that. When you recognize a woman’s intelligence above her looks, you are truly recognizing her.

Her Creativity

Not everyone is born with a creative mind. Not every person has the capacity to creatively articulate a message or a feeling. Not all creativity takes the form of art. A woman full of ideas leading her to be creative in whatever realm, should be told. And often – why not?

Her Taste

You know what never gets tiring? Hearing you have great taste in music or movies or food or TV shows. These are areas of passion. Being accredited for having excellent taste in a certain domain where you exude a level fervor  will inevitably make a person feel like an expert. And, who doesn’t like feeling like an expert?

How Friendly or Kind She Is

Whether a woman is the life of the party or quietly conversational to everyone she is around, it is worth noting. In our confusing world, it’s refreshing to be around people willing to be kind first. If you find yourself in the company of a woman who is good natured and friendly, let her know.

Her Life Experience

As humans, we’ve all inevitably lived both similar and wildly contrasting lives – all of which are interesting. When hearing about a woman’s life (positive or negative), rather than try to one-up her or even immediately relate to her experience, commend her for the life she has lived.

9 Early Signs You Could Be Dating the Wrong Person For You

Love isn’t meant to be complicated or painful. It shouldn’t take an extreme habit or behaviour for anyone to realize that they are either ill matched or in a toxic relationship.

Whilst some people can change over time due to circumstances or unaccounted for baggage, there are almost always sure signs to tell if someone is right for you.

Dating successfully is about being able to identify the difference between someone who will add value to your life and someone who will hold you back.

No one wants to invest time and energy into someone who is going to let them down, so here are 9 red flags to look for early on:

Communication is lacking

Are you sending novel texts and they’re giving one word answers? Yikes. Are they taking their sweet time between responses and very rarely initiate the conversation? If someone can’t put in the effort required to communicate from the beginning, they already don’t value you. 

They are critical of your every move 

Either they pull you apart or always seem to put you down. Even if it’s only a joke, someone you are dating should be lifting you up right from the get-go. If the person you’re dating comments negatively on your physical appearance or can’t be proud of your successes and accomplishments, you MUST let them go. You deserve so much better than this. 

Levels of respect don’t match

With a relationship comes respect for one another, whether that be their space, time or boundaries. Lack of respect for another human being is a huge insult. Where there is little respect, there is immediately a lack of trust or growth in a relationship. Don’t let someone else determine your worth, especially if they can’t even see their own.

It’s not easy 

If you are feeling anxious, confused, or like you’re trying too hard to make it work early on, chances are this isn’t the one for you. Being fabulously single and taking your time to find the right one will be worth it in the end. When you find them, your first thought should be “well this is refreshing and effortless!” 

Sex is brought up…alot

Sex is a great thing, but if you notice your date brings it up really early on and frequently, chances are their mind is on one thing and one thing only. Perhaps they are looking for a friends with benefits vs. a long term commitment. 

Their plans always change

You have a date scheduled for Thursday, but they text you that something has come up last minute (zero details included of course.) This could be because they are making you an option instead of a priority. Another option beat you out and they chose to take it. 

 You can’t trust them

They’re inconsistent – their words do not match their actions or vise versa. Or maybe you have a gut feeling that just won’t go away; trust is integral to a relationship, even in the beginning so don’t ignore the signs and the power of intuition. 

They have a wandering eye

Cheating starts in the mind and heart before it even becomes physical. If you don’t feel like the only man or woman in the room when you are with them, then it could be an indication that they aren’t wanting to full commit. 

They won’t delete their dating profile

HUGE red flag! If they still want to have an active profile online, it’s because they aren’t willing to commit and want to keep their options open. Even if they say they aren’t ‘active’ on it, it warrants the question as to why then do they feel it necessary to still have it at all?

Don’t Make These Dating Mistakes

No one wants to know that they are at fault for why their relationships are falling apart. I mean sure we aren’t perfect, but are we purposely self -sabotaging our love life? If you are constantly finding yourself single and disappointed, then perhaps it’s time to look at what you may be doing wrong.

Here are 8 mistakes you could be making in your dating life:

1: You are choosing the wrong people to date

Chances are if you keep finding yourself in the same situation, then you must be dating the same type of person over and over again. Sure, we all have a type, but make sure that ‘type’ is also someone who values and treats you well. It’s one thing to be attracted to certain physical traits, but it’s altogether another thing to not look beyond their appearance and take into account their character. If you can identify where you are going wrong, then try and choose consciously to date someone that is going to be better for you.

2: You are giving off mixed signals

They don’t know whether you’re coming or going, and this is probably because you don’t know either! Make sure that you are whole and happy before you start your search for love. Have a clear idea of what you want in a partner and how much you are willing to invest. Playing games or being hot and cold, will only bring confusion, frustration to both people involved.  You don’t have to play games to win at love, so be open honest and transparent.

3: You have unrealistic expectations

We all want the fairy tale, but it doesn’t always look how we can imagine it to in our heads. When you go on a date make sure you are enjoying and staying present in the moment, instead of ticking off boxes in your head. Have a good idea about what you want and need in a relationship but remember to be flexible and realistic.

4: You keep settling for second best

This is because you haven’t learnt just how much you are worth. When we successfully love ourselves in a healthy way, we are then able to set the bar for how we let others love us. Don’t date out of loneliness, fear or desperation, make sure you are happy and complete before you put yourself out there. Know where boundaries need to be placed, and the difference between compromising and settling.

5: You get too serious and attached too fast

We live in a fast-paced instant society that wants everything yesterday! Take your time to get to know someone’s character and intentions before you let them into your heart. Good old fashioned courting means that you can get to see just how serious your date is about wanting you in their life.

6: You keep bringing up the past

Talking about your past relationships or hurts is not going to help your present or future love life. This isn’t about denying what has happened but rather choosing the right time in a relationship of when to talk about it. As a rule, you should never discuss ex’s in detail on a first date. Make sure you have fully healed and let go of your last heartache before you embark on a new relationship.

7: You’re trying too hard

Whilst it’s great to be active in finding love, there also needs to be a point where you can be overdoing it. No matter how bad you want to find the right one, make sure you are choosing quality over quantity. Serial dating only leads to frustration and confusion. Try not to overwhelm yourself, by taking time in between dates and not dating just for the sake of it. If you are on the hunt, your suitors will sense it and probably run for the hills. Make sure you are at peace within yourself and also able to enjoy your time alone.

8: You’re not trying hard enough

And then on the other hand you may not be active enough. Love isn’t going to turn up on our doorstep, we need to create opportunities to invite it into our life. This might be as simple as setting up a dating profile, or expanding your social circle. More than likely you will have to get out of your comfort zone. Remember the golden rule, dating is only as complicated as we allow it to be.

You’ve Got Her Number, Now What?

“When is he going to ask me out?”

is the top question I get from women about men’s texting. These women are frustrated.  They are confused. They are wondering why you asked for their number if you only wanted to know what they had for lunch. So stop vague-texting, and do this instead.

  1. Call her

I cannot overstate this: Texting is a trap.

When people are texting, they make mistakes that are then used to judge the entire person, ending relationships before they’ve even begun.  Yes, truly.  Tone of voice and the relating of a conversation smooths over such mistakes. Plus, calling is now so retro—especially for the under-30 crowd—that dialing a number is the equivalent of highlighting your interest.

And to win a woman, you have to show open, obvious, clear interest.

If calling feels like overstepping, text to request a call: “I would rather call than text, if you’re okay with that.  Is there a good time?”  You can always revert to texting if she says she’d rather do it that way.

  1. Ask specifically

If you’ve asked, “So, wanna hang out sometime?” you may be hoping she will finish the job and ask you out.  But as recently as 2012, 88% of women still weren’t initiating dates.

Women have always valued men’s confidence and responded to cues that make us feel secure; it’s an evolutionary thing.  Technology has not changed our wiring.  Your hesitation could be because asking makes you feel vulnerable, but that is the point: in asking, you are giving a powerful cue and an enormous compliment by risking yourself for her.  It’s heroic.

So ask her out to a specific event, at a specific time and place.  It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, just clear and definite (and ideally, also fun): “I’d love to take you roller skating next Friday at three at [location]; does that work for you?”

  1. Ask ahead

Spontaneity is cool—in a long-established relationship. But a woman you don’t know isn’t your fallback plan.  Show respect by asking ahead, and by not keeping her living on the edge hoping for an ask.

When you ask at least two days ahead, it sets you apart from the crowd—and there’s a crowd!  If you like her, so do other guys.  You want to be the one giving her all the good feels, not one of the pack taking her for granted before the relationship has even begun.

  1. Confirm plans

Confirm your meeting the day before.  Otherwise, you’re getting associated with feeling insecure—a risky move if you like this girl.

What if you’ve changed your mind?  Say so, at least two days ahead.  “I’m very sorry, but I’ve decided to make different plans for Saturday.  I wanted to give you time to make another plan of your own.”  She won’t like it, but she’ll like it more than being stood up.

Upshot?  Repeat after me: confidence and security are woman-bait.  Ask with clarity and confidence, which will help her feel secure.  And prevent my in-box being clogged with questions about your vague texting!