It’s time to get on board with the use of emojis in conversations, if you aren’t already. They’ve officially taken the dating world by storm! And, as we know too well, with great power comes great responsibility. A beneficial tool when used well, a simple emoji can easily help or hinder your chances with someone you are chatting to.
When you first begin dating someone, everything is new and exciting, and you really enjoy each other. Over time, even though your feelings may be even stronger, the newness and excitement seems to disappear, and relationships seem more like work than fun and romantic. A relationship is like anything else you do in life. In order for it to be a success, you need to work at it. Today we are going to take a look at 10 ways that you can put that spark back into your relationship.
Here’s the thing. We all love a good compliment from the right person. Heck, we love a good compliment from any person. I’m sure there are people out there in the world that don’t get a small high from being complimented – I have yet to meet them. But, here’s the other thing. So often women are primarily given compliments centered around the way that they look (mind blowing, right?!) Which, if we’re all being honest, can be great; it’s a good thing to take pride in the way that you look and when that is recognized, it feels good – flaunt your stuff!
Love isn’t meant to be complicated or painful. It shouldn’t take an extreme habit or behaviour for anyone to realize that they are either ill matched or in a toxic relationship.
Whilst some people can change over time due to circumstances or unaccounted for baggage, there are almost always sure signs to tell if someone is right for you.
Dating successfully is about being able to identify the difference between someone who will add value to your life and someone who will hold you back.
No one wants to invest time and energy into someone who is going to let them down, so here are 9 red flags to look for early on:
Communication is lacking
Are you sending novel texts and they’re giving one word answers? Yikes. Are they taking their sweet time between responses and very rarely initiate the conversation? If someone can’t put in the effort required to communicate from the beginning, they already don’t value you.
They are critical of your every move
Either they pull you apart or always seem to put you down. Even if it’s only a joke, someone you are dating should be lifting you up right from the get-go. If the person you’re dating comments negatively on your physical appearance or can’t be proud of your successes and accomplishments, you MUST let them go. You deserve so much better than this.
Levels of respect don’t match
With a relationship comes respect for one another, whether that be their space, time or boundaries. Lack of respect for another human being is a huge insult. Where there is little respect, there is immediately a lack of trust or growth in a relationship. Don’t let someone else determine your worth, especially if they can’t even see their own.
It’s not easy
If you are feeling anxious, confused, or like you’re trying too hard to make it work early on, chances are this isn’t the one for you. Being fabulously single and taking your time to find the right one will be worth it in the end. When you find them, your first thought should be “well this is refreshing and effortless!”
Sex is brought up…alot
Sex is a great thing, but if you notice your date brings it up really early on and frequently, chances are their mind is on one thing and one thing only. Perhaps they are looking for a friends with benefits vs. a long term commitment.
Their plans always change
You have a date scheduled for Thursday, but they text you that something has come up last minute (zero details included of course.) This could be because they are making you an option instead of a priority. Another option beat you out and they chose to take it.
You can’t trust them
They’re inconsistent – their words do not match their actions or vise versa. Or maybe you have a gut feeling that just won’t go away; trust is integral to a relationship, even in the beginning so don’t ignore the signs and the power of intuition.
They have a wandering eye
Cheating starts in the mind and heart before it even becomes physical. If you don’t feel like the only man or woman in the room when you are with them, then it could be an indication that they aren’t wanting to full commit.
They won’t delete their dating profile
HUGE red flag! If they still want to have an active profile online, it’s because they aren’t willing to commit and want to keep their options open. Even if they say they aren’t ‘active’ on it, it warrants the question as to why then do they feel it necessary to still have it at all?
No one wants to know that they are at fault for why their relationships are falling apart. I mean sure we aren’t perfect, but are we purposely self -sabotaging our love life? If you are constantly finding yourself single and disappointed, then perhaps it’s time to look at what you may be doing wrong.
Here are 8 mistakes you could be making in your dating life:
1: You are choosing the wrong people to date
Chances are if you keep finding yourself in the same situation, then you must be dating the same type of person over and over again. Sure, we all have a type, but make sure that ‘type’ is also someone who values and treats you well. It’s one thing to be attracted to certain physical traits, but it’s altogether another thing to not look beyond their appearance and take into account their character. If you can identify where you are going wrong, then try and choose consciously to date someone that is going to be better for you.
2: You are giving off mixed signals
They don’t know whether you’re coming or going, and this is probably because you don’t know either! Make sure that you are whole and happy before you start your search for love. Have a clear idea of what you want in a partner and how much you are willing to invest. Playing games or being hot and cold, will only bring confusion, frustration to both people involved. You don’t have to play games to win at love, so be open honest and transparent.
3: You have unrealistic expectations
We all want the fairy tale, but it doesn’t always look how we can imagine it to in our heads. When you go on a date make sure you are enjoying and staying present in the moment, instead of ticking off boxes in your head. Have a good idea about what you want and need in a relationship but remember to be flexible and realistic.
4: You keep settling for second best
This is because you haven’t learnt just how much you are worth. When we successfully love ourselves in a healthy way, we are then able to set the bar for how we let others love us. Don’t date out of loneliness, fear or desperation, make sure you are happy and complete before you put yourself out there. Know where boundaries need to be placed, and the difference between compromising and settling.
5: You get too serious and attached too fast
We live in a fast-paced instant society that wants everything yesterday! Take your time to get to know someone’s character and intentions before you let them into your heart. Good old fashioned courting means that you can get to see just how serious your date is about wanting you in their life.
6: You keep bringing up the past
Talking about your past relationships or hurts is not going to help your present or future love life. This isn’t about denying what has happened but rather choosing the right time in a relationship of when to talk about it. As a rule, you should never discuss ex’s in detail on a first date. Make sure you have fully healed and let go of your last heartache before you embark on a new relationship.
7: You’re trying too hard
Whilst it’s great to be active in finding love, there also needs to be a point where you can be overdoing it. No matter how bad you want to find the right one, make sure you are choosing quality over quantity. Serial dating only leads to frustration and confusion. Try not to overwhelm yourself, by taking time in between dates and not dating just for the sake of it. If you are on the hunt, your suitors will sense it and probably run for the hills. Make sure you are at peace within yourself and also able to enjoy your time alone.
8: You’re not trying hard enough
And then on the other hand you may not be active enough. Love isn’t going to turn up on our doorstep, we need to create opportunities to invite it into our life. This might be as simple as setting up a dating profile, or expanding your social circle. More than likely you will have to get out of your comfort zone. Remember the golden rule, dating is only as complicated as we allow it to be.