A man’s intentions come in two forms: I want to have sex with you OR I want to have sex with you AND date you. We almost always want to have sex with you.
Determining if we want to date you isn’t always easy, but here are a few key points to consider when analyzing a prospect’s intentions:
Decipher our profiles: As a woman in the online dating world know that this is the quickest way for you to cut through the crap. Take the time to read my profile. On a site like POF, where everything is free, the fact that I have made the effort to write about myself to give you a glimpse into my character is worth a lot. Did I sound authentic? Can I spell and use good grammar? No? Move on.
Check for selfies: If I don’t have enough friends to take my picture you should run… fast. Away from me.
Our initial email to you matters: Did I put an effort into my message? Is it composed of something along the lines of, “Hey boo, what’s up?”, not creative, funny, and unique to you? Pass.
Look at the people who surround us: It’s no secret that the 5 closest people in a person’s life will be a direct reflection of them. Take a hard look at the people I surround myself with. Players and douchebags? Intelligent suitors? Great men hang out in groups, and so do losers. Jersey shore what?
Our words vs. our behavior: Whenever these two things don’t match…always pick my behavior. i.e.: I say I want to grab coffee and keep flaking… I don’t want to.
Limit our options: Make us wait for sex. I cannot stress the value of this enough. Don’t get me wrong… great relationships can still happen when couples have sex early on, but if you make me wait for the booty, my true intentions will become clear very quickly. If my intentions are solely sexual, I will start to flake on plans, be less responsive through text, and all those feelings you had in your gut will be
No matter the gender, the most important of the intentions are the ones we hold in our own hearts. Finally, and most importantly, I present to you the ultimate insight… i.e. #7. If you nail this one and know your own worth, you can skip the first six.
Are his intentions a mirror of yours? Ask yourself, “What do you actually want?” It is no secret that you attract what you are. I don’t mean in the “manifestation” or “The Secret” sort of way, but truthfully, if you want a guy who intends to love your heart, you can’t go randomly banging everything around you, because then that is exactly the type of guy you will get. A perfect reflection of you. Be the one you want.
There’s no shortage of online dating advice out there for singles, but like anything else, sometimes the best advice comes from someone who has been down that road before. We asked some real life, seasoned online daters who have found success on PlentyOfFish to pass on some of their best advice. If we do say so ourselves, it’s pretty bang on!
On manners:“Just act like a sane, normal person. And use your manners! Never say anything that you wouldn’t say to someone’s face just because you’re behind a computer screen.”
On keeping it real: “Online dating provides a process for evolution and learning. You learn by establishing some guidelines. For example, if you haven’t both agreed on a date and time to meet within a few weeks, you should consider ceasing contact. And like anything in life, while you can accept help, read books, and get advice from friends, you have to participate in the process.”
On the no-nonsense approach:“Keep writing decent and heartfelt messages to whoever you want – so forget your “type”. Mention something that stood out about their profile.”
On keeping your image game strong:“Be yourself but understand that images come first. If someone is not attracted to you, it won’t matter if Hemingway wrote your profile.”
On being tech savvy:“Download the PlentyOfFish app! It’s a totally different experience (in a good way) and you can meet way more people, even faster.”
On assuming gender roles:“Don’t fall into the thinking that men should always make the first move. If you see someone who interests you, message them! Also, let’s just be real and admit that people aren’t impressed by lists and stuff, they want to know what you feel.”
On smiling:“You have 8 seconds to make a good impression. Women will see your main image as a tiny pic the size of a saltine cracker on their cell phone screens. If your main image is not clear, bright and attractive, they move on. A genuine smile is inviting, warm and attractive. Women want to see your eyes and smile.”
On making plans:“NOTHING IS REAL UNTIL YOU MEET. Don’t waste your time on endless text messages. After three or four solid messages, ask for a phone number. Call to arrange a first meeting. Connect in a safe, quiet place like a cafe where you can talk and get to know each other.”
On what it should all really be about: “Above all, keep a sense of humor. Have FUN.”
Over the past month, Mandy Stadtmiller, Chief Editor at XOJane has been using PlentyOfFish to test out popular dating cliches to see if they hold any truth (all in hopes of finding a great date for Valentines Day). Turns out, as you might suspect, some traditional dating advice has no place in 2015.
To save you from going to the same trouble to find a date, we’ve provided a crash course in defining and testing 30 of the most popular dating cliches below, based on Mandy’s findings.
Do you agree with this list? Which dating cliches have popped up in your life? Let us know below, and find the full rundown of the 30 days on The Mandy Project.
30 Dating Cliches: Defined and Tested
Cliché #1: “Honesty is the best policy”
Challenge: Make a brutally honest online dating profile on PlentyOfFish Learning Point: Unfiltered selfies make for unfiltered dating.
Cliché #2: “You never get a second chance to make a first impression”
Challenge: Hug strangers in Times Square, and ask them what their first impression of me is from that hug. Learning Point: Lead with confidence and it will follow the whole night through.
Cliché #3: “You’ll find him when you stop looking”
Challenge: Hand over my dating profile to a friend, and let them look through your matches. Learning Point: Not being able to see a man’s face leads to so much less judgement and more reflection.
Cliché #4: “Everything happens for a reason”
Challenge: Reply to one of my “suitors” on POF and explain to them how everything in my life had led up to the moment when I read their message. Learning Point: Taking a radically different intro approach in online dating works.
Cliché #5: “Love like you’ve never been hurt”
Challenge: Have a date where no matter what, I can’t talk about exes or my past. Learning Point: I suck at leaving exes out of things. When I consciously try, not just the date is better – but my life is better, too.
Cliché #6: “You should date a nice guy”
Challenge: Message a guy and ask him, “Would you consider yourself to be a nice guy? Give me several good examples why.” Learning Point: Nice guys are honestly the sexiest guys on earth.
Cliché #7: “Opposites attract”
Challenge: Ask a guy out who is my opposite. Learning Point: Don’t let someone who is totally different than you scare you away from a new potentially life-changing experience.
Cliché #8: “Never dress too sexy on a first date”
Challenge: Ask Instagram to pick my first date outfit in order to achieve just the right amount of sexiness. Learning Point: Go with classy-sexy not slutty-sexy.
Cliché #9: “Trust your gut”
Cliché #10: “You have to date your type”
Challenge: Pick a guy based only on his profile picture and ask him out. Learning Point: Over-thinking dating ruins dating.
Cliché #11: “You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else”
Challenge: Do something to treat myself that I’ve never done before. Learning Point: If you take care of yourself then you’re able to be your best self with other people.
Cliché #12: “Never accept last minute dates”
Challenge: Don’t accept a last-minute date, unless social media thinks it’s okay to do so. Learning Point: Screw the rules. Go out whenever you want.
Cliché #13: “Be yourself”
Challenge: Go on the most genuine date ever. Learning Point: Authenticity leads to laughter leads to a really great date.
Cliché #14: “You have to accept men exactly as they are”
Challenge: Watch the Super Bowl with a group of manly men being exactly as they are. Learning Point: I love men so hard, especially when they are being all manly men.
Cliché #15: “Love should be easy”
Challenge: Go on a date and we have to agree with each other no matter what. Learning Point: Going with the flow is a choice.
Cliché #16: “Don’t have sex until you’ve been on at least three dates”
Challenge: Message ten guys from POF to find out if this cliché is actually relevant. Learning Point: Only ever listen to your intuition when it comes to sex – because you’re the only person who matters in this decision.
Cliché #17: “The two-day rule”
Challenge: Keep a diary of everything that I wanted to say to my date – while waiting two days before contacting him. Learning Point: Contact him while he’s still walking out the door if you want to. If a man likes you, he is going to like you.
Cliché #18: “It’s a numbers game”
Challenge: Message as many guys from POF in one day as I could using the briefest messages possible — and see how many quality responses I got back. Learning Point: Being bold, fearless and concise is the only way to play it.
Cliché #19: “Play hard to get”
Challenge: Create a scavenger hunt for your first date. Learning Point: It’s okay to make them chase you. They like it.
Cliché #20: “You have to put yourself out there”
Challenge: Walk around New York City with a sign that says, “I’m currently SINGLE.” Learning Point: Humiliation leads to fearlessness leads to risk taking leads to amazing things happening.
Cliché #21: “Don’t kiss on a first date”
Challenge: Poll Twitter and find out if it’s okay to get intimate early on. Learning Point: Coyness and directness are equally great strategies.
Cliché #22: “Love knows no age”
Challenge: Message 10 men older and 10 men younger than me on POF. Accept a date with one of them. Learning Point: Younger men are thirstier than the silver foxes – which is less attractive.
Cliché #23: “A man should pay for a first date”
Challenge: Create an estimate of how much you’re going to spend for the evening and present to a man at the beginning of a date. Learning Point: It’s okay to expect and demand old-fashioned chivalr
Cliché #24: “Make a man “engagement chicken” so he’ll fall in love”
Challenge: Bring a man engagement chicken on a first date. Learning Point: There is no quicker way to cut the ice than to give a man a chicken.
Cliché #25: “Avoid the topics of politics, money and religion on a first date”
Challenge: Create a conversational itinerary directing my date to every topic other than these three. Learning Point: Why steer clear of anything? You’re on the date; not the representative.
Cliché #26: “Don’t play games”
Challenge: Print out a list of relationship expectations and give it to a man on the first date.
Learning Point: There is nothing sexier than honesty.
Cliché #27: “Go after what you want”
Challenge: Pay for the date instead of expecting a man to do it.
Learning Point: Don’t be helpless.
Cliché #28: “There are plenty of fish in the sea”
Challenge: Ask out one of these “fish” in a big way for Valentine’s Day. Learning Point: You can’t find your fish if you don’t ask him out first.
Cliché #29: “Be busy”
Challenge: Spend a day primping on yourself – no matter what happens on Feb. 14. Learning Point: You’ll never be bummed or stressed when you treat life like a spa day.
Cliché #30: “Everyone should have a Valentine’s Day date”
Challenge: Go out and have the most celebratory V-Day ever. Learning Point: V-Day exists. Why deny it? Own it instead of letting it own you.
Ugh. Time for yet another “Hallmark”, cookie-cutter Valentine’s Day… Overpriced and overbooked restaurants, unwelcome pressure to purchase the best gifts, and let’s face it… the in-your-face advertising that makes all the singles cringe. We’ve become so obsessed about celebrating love on this ONE day yet, isn’t love really about celebrating every day? And why do singles feel awful about their relationship status on V-Day?
Being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t something that you should feel ashamed about. Instead, use this day to celebrate your singledom! The way I see it is that this is a holiday where you can really take time to be grateful for your relationship status, reconnect with you, and show yourself some real love. So many of us wait around for the ‘right’ person to live our lives with… what if you were to start living your life for you instead?
One of the biggest relationship fails that I see often, is that people jump into them without first having a real relationship with themselves. This is the perfect formula for creating dependency issues within a relationship. When one partner can’t fill themselves up with love, they depend on the other partner to do so. That’s not what real love is about. Real love is building upon the love that each partner already has within themselves. This creates a stronger bond that will lead to a healthier relationship.
Don’t spend this Valentine’s Day feeling sorry for yourself. Take this day to reconnect to that love within you. Celebrate what it truly means to be single! Check out these awesome perks of being single on Valentine’s Day:
Invest in Yourself
No need to buy an overpriced gift for a partner that doesn’t exist Buy yourself a gift instead! Perhaps something that you’ve wanted for a while but didn’t want to indulge in… That new Tiffany’s necklace, or Nixxon watch. Why should you have to wait for someone to treat you? Now is that time to indulge! Go ahead… you’re worth it.
Spend V-Day Doing Whatever it is That You Truly Want To Do
With no one else in the equation, you have the freedom to do whatever it is that you truly want to do! Spend your day watching old 80’s romance flicks, eating at your favorite restaurants, walking aimlessly around the city taking in the sights, or head to the theatre to watch the latest new release. It’s silly to think that we need someone to do these things with and by holding onto this attitude, you’ll never truly take that time to show yourself some love. So get out there and take yourself on a date!
Why do we obsess over looking good for others? Instead, look good for you! Treat yourself this Valentine’s Day with a manicure/pedicure combo, a spa treatment (or two), a new haircut/color/style, a rockin’ new outfit, sexy lingerie, or a fresh barbershop shave (for the guys out there). When you treat yourself, you’re showing the world that you’re worthy. Self-love is the best love… and it’s damn sexy.
Celebrate Your Choice
Being single isn’t a curse, it’s a choice. Take pride in that choice! You’re choosing not to settle by waiting for a partner that’s just right for you. Or perhaps you’re taking a much-needed break from the dating world to reconnect with yourself. Whatever it is, the ultimate reason behind your relationship status is that you chose it. Celebrate that choice!
Stop waiting around for someone to treat you the way you want to be treated. Stop waiting for a partner to do the things you want to do. Instead, celebrate your single status! Treat yourself the way you truly deserve to be treated and live your life for you. Self-love is sexy, and it shows the world that you are confident in your own skin.
This Valentine’s Day, take the time to show yourself some love.
Ruby Fremon is a Self-Love Coach determined to help others create positive life transformations through the power of self-love. From living a life of self-destruction to a life of love and positivity, Ruby has created those massive shifts by learning to harness the power of self-love. Join Ruby for a very special pre-Valentine’s Day Google+ Hangout on Thursday February 12th! She’ll be discussing self-love, relationships, and will be answering all your questions live. RSVP here: https://plus.google.com/events/c19qtrjjdtbrjv8md9gfv55k3jc
You’re nervous, and why shouldn’t you be? You’re going to attempt to rekindle an old flame. Although this decision can cause a case of the nervous butterflies, it can also be a great decision: you’re single, and rather than meet someone new, you’ve decided to reach out to someone you’ve already dated. Perhaps you went on one or two dates, and then phased him or her out because someone or something got in the way. Perhaps you dated all through college.
Maybe sparks flew, but the timing was off. If that’s the case, it can be remarkably easy to re-kindle things and pick up where you left off. However, it can also be complicated.
Here’s how you can overcome the 5 awkward stages of re-kindling an old flame:
1. Zero expectations
Having expectations is not a good idea. You want to treat the hang out just like you would a catch up sesh with an old friend. If nothing else, you get to see your old flame and find out what they’ve been up to. Rather than expecting things to re-kindle, let it be a bonus if that’s what happens.
2. Play it cool
If you’re going to ask out an old flame, be causal about it. Suggest drinks, not dinner. Why? Because going for drinks, especially somewhere busy and loud, makes for a less awkward evening. A little bit of alcohol helps relax people so that they feel more at ease, and even if you don’t drink, the buzz of a busy bar creates less opportunity for awkward silences.
3. Looking your best
If you haven’t seen someone in a long time, you’re going to definitely want to look your best when you see them again. To achieve this, make sure to give yourself enough time to get ready and not be rushed. Looking good translates to feeling good, as it boosts your confidence.
4. Save your questions
You may have questions about why things didn’t work out. You may be wondering if whatever was in the way before, is still in the way now. Save these questions for your next hang out, or there might not be one. If an old flame has agreed to see you, it’s likely not because they were looking forward to being bombarded with questions. Once the two of you are feeling comfortable with each other and hanging out again, there will likely be a better future occasion to ask your questions. For now, keep it light.
5. Finding out if they feel the same way
You want to find out if they too are hoping to re-kindle the spark. If they still have interest in you, there are some subtle ways you can find out. Read their body language: If they are leaning into you, making eye contact, and they are engaged in the conversation, those are all good signs. Subtly touch their arm and see how they react. The best way to find out if they feel the same way? Try going in for a kiss, if you dare be so bold.
When you’re planning a vacation with your significant other, you likely want to stay at a romantic hotel that surrounds you with beauty and sets the tone for romance, immediately putting you and your loved one in a blissful state of serenity. Most of us don’t get very many opportunities to go on vacation, so it’s important that we stay somewhere amazing! Here are 5 romantic hotels that are sure to blow your mind:
1. Pan Pacific Whistler Village Centre
Nestled in the heart of Whistler Village in Whistler, British Columbia, Canada, this beautiful hotel is sure to exceed your expectations.
The full-service, award-winning Pan Pacific Whistler Village Centre boasts slope-side accommodation and spacious private residence-style suites with full kitchens, cozy fireplaces and balconies that offer fresh mountain air and breathtaking views that make you feel like you’re in a Winter Wonderland.
Its prime location in Whistler is ideal for sightseeing, dining and shopping as well as easy access to a host of year-round adventures, Whistler-style. There are many romantic winter activities you and your loved one can discover nearby, such as snow-shoeing under the stars, cross country skiing among snow-covered pines, walking to the beautiful lost lake, or relaxing at the Pan Pacific Whistler Village hot-tub surrounded by snowy mountains.
Whether you vacation at Pan Pacific Whistler Village Centre in the Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall, you’ll be surrounded by gorgeous scenery and an
array of year-round activities at your fingertips. Nearby glacier lakes sparkle emerald green in the summer, while in the winter you might opt for a snow-shoeing venture under the stars with your loved one.
2. The Westin Maui Resort & Spa
Located on the beautiful and romantic Hawaiian island of Maui, the Westin Maui Resort and Spa is a luxury beachfront resort on the famous Kaanapali Beach.
The resort boasts layers of luxury ocean front pools and hot tubs with a perfect view of that gorgeous Hawaiian sunset. At night, the resort lights twinkle and the pool and hot tub change colours to create a majestic feeling for couples to enjoy.
The Westin Maui’s ocean view suites will take your breath away. Your private balcony is the perfect sanctuary to enjoy the surreal Hawaiian sunrise and sunset. The resort’s grounds breathe the essence of Hawaii with lagoons, Hawaiian flowers and happily swimming swans.
Rent a cabana for two on the beach or enjoy poolside drink service with your loved one. Take a walk along the Kaanapali strip where there is a variety of beachfront restaurants and live traditional Hawaiian music.
3. The Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise
Can you imagine what it would be like to stay in a hotel right on a beautiful Canadian glacier lake? Book a room at the Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise, and you will see just how romantic of an experience it is. The Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise is located in Alberta’s Banff National Park, and it is surrounded by the stunning Victoria Glacier and its sparkling emerald green lake, Lake Louise.
From ice skating and horse drawn sleigh rides in the Winter, to hiking, canoeing and horseback riding in the Summer, this hotel is majestic any time of year and offers luxury accommodation in a serene and breathtakingly beautiful location. It’s no wonder ABC’s The Bachelorchose the Fairmont Lake Louise as one of their romantic getaways to feature.
4. The Beach House Hotel at Hermosa Beach
This California hotel on Hermosa Beach is an amazing couples retreat due to its unique loft-style spacious rooms with gorgeous ocean views. Being a beach-front hotel, The Beach House Hotel at Hermosa Beach is perfect for those romantic moonlight strolls as the beach boasts a pier that stretches into the moonlit ocean.The romantic and spacious balconies are the perfect spot to have a glass of wine while watching the sunset.
Cozy up by the fireplace at night if it’s chilly, because each suite has its own fireplace.
5. The Ritz-Carlton New York, Central Park
New York is a romantic city to visit for so many reasons: sight-seeing in a horse and carriage for two, fine-dining in some of the world’s best restaurants, and that view from the Empire State building. You can’t go wrong with a room near the iconic Central Park, and the luxurious Ritz-Carlton New York, Central Park is a great hotel choice while staying in New York with your significant other.
The Ritz-Carlton New York, Central Park boasts luxury rooms with captivating Central Park views in a fabulous central location.
Whether you enjoy ice skating at Rockefeller Center or a sleigh ride in the Winter, a stroll in Central Park surrounded by the many beautiful colours of Fall’s leaves, or spend summer nights touring the city and fine-dining on patios, any season is a great season to visit NYC.
Every single day, happy couples who met on PlentyOfFish share their love stories with us. These success stories are always music to our ears here at the PlentyOfFish office. The love story of Kelly and Jake, however, is a very special one.
Kelly and Jake, a happy couple from Vancouver, British Columbia, met on PlentyOfFish two years ago. They went through some unique twists and turns to get to where they are today – you’ll never believe what Jake did for Kelly! Below is their exclusive interview with us:
Kelly, please tell us the story of how you met and fell in love with Jake!
Jake and I met two years ago, the night after I celebrated my 27th birthday. He was persistently asking to meet me in person for awhile (via POF messages) but I kept avoiding meeting him – for no particular reason. Finally on this lazy Sunday I agreed to go out for a late dinner. We had great conversation throughout dinner, which is important to me, but I didn’t feel that initial spark that some people say they get right away.
What is funny to look back on, is that I remember going to my friend’s house after our date and saying “nope, I’m not into him! He has a tattoo on his hand.” However, after that first date, Jake continued to pursue me and we hung out a lot during the following months. We formed a very strong friendship and connection. I was still on the fence about dating him because he has a son, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to get involved in that kind of a relationship or play that role at that point.
Over the next year, we kept it quite casual due to me not really being ready for anything too serious. At the end of 2012, I decided I was going to live abroad in Australia, solo. This was something I had always wanted to do, and had planned on doing before meeting Jake. Jake seemed happy for me and even helped me plan my trip, but he admits to me now how sad he was to see me go.
In January of 2013, it was time to say goodbye. Jake and I hugged and cried, and we said “I love you” to each other for the first time. It was extremely hard leaving him. Perhaps, in the midst of being distracted planning and getting ready for Australia, I was blind to the amazing relationship and bond we had formed over the last year.
While I was in Australia we kept in touch almost daily, but during the first 3 months I was mostly into sightseeing, meeting new people and just doing my own thing. However, I definitely missed him a lot.
On March 12, 2013, I received a knock on the door of where I was living in Melbourne, Australia. I was in the middle of having an afternoon nap. I peeked through the blinds and all I saw was cargo shorts (I should have know by that very fact) I opened the door, rubbing my eyes, and I couldn’t believe my eyes that JAKE was standing there.
Needless to say, I was in complete shock! Jake had flown from Vancouver, Canada to Melbourne, Australia, to surprise me and knock on my door. He told me that I am the love of his life and that he had to tell me in person! I laugh now because I still can’t believe men like him actually exist! Really? A man doing something like that is practically unheard of in our generation. What makes his grand gesture even more romantic, is that he was only able to get away from work for four nights, but he still came all the way to Australia! That’s a 24 hour flight each way, so he knew he’d only get to spend two days with me – but he still thought it was worth it!
There was a mutual understanding that Jake wouldn’t be staying. Living abroad in Australia was something I wanted to solo, for myself. However as time passed, and after the shock of his surprise visit wore off, I missed him more and more and realized that he is the one I want. No new opportunities in Australia could compete with what my heart wanted: Jake.
In July 2013, he flew me to Bali and we got to spend 10 days on vacation together. That trip was the tipping point for me; I knew I had to come home from Australia earlier than planned, to be with Jake. He booked me a flight back to Vancouver for September 2013, we moved in together, and the rest is history!
Jake, what made Kelly stand out initially on POF? What made her stand out when you met?
I thought she seemed like an honest down to earth woman, and she was super cute. When we met she was very bubbly and positive, and I am very attracted to that. She was very easy to relate to and talk to.
Kelly, what made Jake stand out initially on POF? What made him stand out when you met?
Jake kept messaging me on POF, pestering me to hang out, and when I finally did I loved our conversation. We had a lot in common. He seemed like a really solid, nice guy- with a great smile. Oh, and he was tall! I like really tall guys!
Jake, how and when did you know that Kelly was someone who you definitely wanted to pursue?
The closer it got to the time for Kelly to go to Australia, My feelings got stronger and stronger. When she was away in Australia, it really hit me that she was the one.
Kelly, how and when did you know that Jake was someone who you definitely wanted to pursue?
After Jake left Melbourne I started to have really strong feelings for him, and after Bali I knew he was the one I wanted to be with.
Today, Kelly and Jake are still happily living together in Vancouver, British Columbia. Jake owns a sign, print and graphic design company called Liquid Grafix. Kelly, a very talented furniture refinisher, realized she had a lot of DIY tips and now runs her very own lifestyle blog A Shabby To Chic Life. Kelly also works as a web designer and social media manager for Jake’s company, Liquid Grafix.
It’s taxing enough working the night shift – add being single into that equation, and a whole new set of challenges is brought to the table. It may be significantly more difficult to meet new people, plan creative dates, coordinate schedules, and prevent yourself from intermittently dozing off, but never fear! We’ve found some surprisingly sweet early morning and late afternoon date ideas that may leave those run-of-the-mill 5-9 workers more than a little jealous.
Here are 5 new date ideas to cultivate any relationship, even if it has to revolve around the graveyard shift:
1) Watch the Sunrise: Most people rarely get the opportunity to observe the quiet understated beauty of a beach-front sun rise. Alternatively, an early morning park stroll while watching the sun reflecting dew on foliage is infinitely more romantic than spending your evening in a crowded restaurant. If you don’t live near a beach or park, you can still enjoy the beautiful sunrise coming up over the mountains or desert.
2) Walk through a Museum: Museums are usually relatively empty after 4 pm providing a stellar opportunity to bond with your date in a more intimate setting. If you really want to impress your special someone, read up on the exhibits in advance and play tour guide. Many people view museums as a highly cultured date, but don’t be discouraged or feel it’s above you. There are museums for every taste – like modern art, wax, sports, and natural history, so let your mind wander to some of your most unexplored interests and start researching options in your area!
3) Play some Golf: Mini-golf, or even a game of pool is a fun late afternoon activity that will allow you and your date to interact and engage even when the conversation stops flowing. Make it even more fun by adding some friendly competition to the game ie. the winner has to buy the loser a drink after the game or the loser has to make dinner for two on your next date.
4) Go Swimming: Every major city has a water park, but most adults view it as a place for kids. If you head to the water park when most kids are at school, and you’re out of work, you will practically own the place. And the best part: you don’t have to stand in line or cut in front of 6 year olds who aren’t paying attention. Swimming in a crowded pool can be stifling, making it hard to communicate, so you will need to make an extra effort when it comes to conversation by the pool. Make sure you leave the reading material at home.
5) Relax at a Quiet Cafe Most 9 to 5 workers don’t like to drink coffee in the evening because they have to sleep, but for those on the overnight, this is prime time to recharge. Enjoy a quiet conversation at your favorite local cafe or bistro before you go to work. Many cafes and bistros offer board games and puzzles while you enjoy a cup of your favorite Joe or tea. An evening coffee is a low-pressure environment that will let your date see you can sustain a relationship, despite working on the overnight shift.
Looking to scare up a date or two this Halloween? Let the sparks fly with your favorite ghosts, goblins and ghouls, as POF’s resident Dating Coach Sarah Gooding shares some tricks and treats to help you find a hair-raising sweetie this Halloween night!
1. Choose a Costume that Plays to your Personal Interests
Halloween only creeps up on us once a year, so it’s completely acceptable for even the most conservative of people to dress on the sexier side. So go ahead – dress as crazy and outrageous as you dare! Rather than sticking to the typical sexy costumes, (ie. sexy police officer, sexy nurse) try your hand at a costume that plays to your personal interests. For instance if you love NFL football, dress up as a cheerleader from your favorite team. If you love race cars, try your best imitation of your favorite race car driver. If you love entertainment and current events, go as new mom Snooki clutching her new baby, a blue-wigged Katy Perry, or a happy dancing PSY from Gangnam Style. Playing to your personal interests will show off your humour and act as an easy conversation starter at the costume party.
2. Cast a Spell with your Interactive Costume
Of course it’s easier than normal to break the ice on Halloween night, but why not make it a bit more fun by adding an interactive element! We recommend including aspects in your get-up that will make it easier to approach someone or get a conversation started – and that means less pressure on you, too! For instance, Kelly, a POF user from NYC went as a graffiti wall last Halloween. She wore all white, carried around a few markers, and asked others at the party to contribute their creativity to her blank canvas. This could be a fun, flirty way to exchange numbers with someone you’ve been chatting with. Another POF user named Samantha, dressed up as little red riding hood and handed out candies from her basket all night. “It was an easy way to approach someone and everyone loves an unexpected treat
3. Stay Away from Bulky Costumes or Too Much Makeup
Costumes that take up a lot of space (particularly those made from large cardboard appliance boxes), or require makeup from head to foot are difficult to maneuver in – especially if you’re at a crowded bar or house party. These costumes attract attention and can be a big hit at the beginning of the night, but by midnight your costume is usually on the floor, or haunting the personal space of anyone who happens to walk by. Other party goers will usually try to steer clear of costumes like these rather than attempt closeness.
4. Behold the Man in the Mask
With all of the wigs, makeup, and masks worn on Halloween night, it might be a little too easy to pass by people you can’t quite get a good look at. But beware – the unknown and mysterious are often the hidden gems! Don’t be shy to approach these people…you may just get a wicked surprise of your own when they reveal their true identity!
5. Go Easy on the Witch’s Brew
The 31st has the tendency to be a bit of a wild card, so it’s best not to add to its uncertainty by having too many drinks too early on. Besides, drinking too much makes it harder to meet people and make a good impression with someone new – try having a glass of water, or take a break and bob for apples in between drinks. Most importantly, the thought of our members making rotten decisions when it comes to a safe ride home gives us goosebumps, so make sure you have established a designated driver for your fright fest!