Top 5 Fall Date Ideas

And just like that, you blinked, played a Drake song or two, and Summer 16 was history. It may be a little chillier and a little darker, but Fall 16 has fully descended upon us, and believe it or not,  it’s the best time of year to try out some exciting new experiences in your love life!

Because pool parties and barbecues are overrated, and actually pretty awkward date ideas anyway, here are our top 5 fall date ideas:

1) A Pumpkin Patch

I know it sounds a little corny, but it can be pretty cute! Farmers markets are bustling with activity during the autumn months, so get in on the fun and check out one with a pumpkin patch! While rocking your gumboots, roll out into the patch and snag the perfect Jack’ O Lantern. Afterwards,  stick around and grab some local veggies to cook up together for dinner.

2) A Halloween Party

Sometimes, it can be fun to play pretend and dress up as someone else entirely. You may even see a completely new side to your date that you didn’t know existed. Even if you just head to a haunted house together, it’s great to get a little spooked all in the name of fun. If you’re really strapped for cash, a scary movie can create a similar ambiance for you and your special someone. Ghostbusters anyone?

3) An Art Show

When the weather is great, you probably don’t want to coop yourself up inside for hours – but that’s what fall is for! I guarantee there are some great places within your community to appreciate art, both great and small. So after some due diligence on some places that interest you (or bonus points, the style of art your DATE loves), grab some lattes and spend a rainy afternoon getting some culture! Even if you end up not loving the art, there’s no shortage of conversation starters! If you’re not wild on art in general, I recommend perusing your local bookstore or craft market!

4) Spa Day

This comes with a pricetag of course, but sometimes dreary autumn days call for a generous helping of good old fashioned TREAT YOURSELF. Indulge in massages and relax by the hot tub or pool. If that sounds a bit hard on the wallet, there are some great DIY spa recipes you can put to the test, without having to leave the comfort of your own home!

5) Brewery Tour

These days, it’s impossible to swing a purse without hitting a craft brewery in almost any neighborhood, so why not embrace it!? Many of these breweries boast seasonal offerings, so if it’s pumpkin flavor you’re after, you’re in luck! On a sunny, crisp afternoon, walk, cab, or take some responsible mode of transportation down to your local brewery for a tour of the premises, and indulge in a beer or two! Bonus points for most likely supporting a local business.

First Date Deal Breakers to Avoid!

There’s no doubt that first dates can be nerve wracking and most of the time it’s because we know a certain standard is expected, and also because we secretly hope that just maybe this will be the frog that turns into a Prince. However before you let your mind get carried away and start to overthink or over complicate the first meeting , here are 5 definite first date deal breakers that you or your new flame won’t be ready for:

1: Arriving late with no reasonable excuse

First impressions count, and when you or your date turns up late without a reasonable excuse or some form of communication beforehand as to why they are late, it really isn’t going to set the right mood. To stop this from happening, make sure you take in to account delays that could occur such as bad traffic, slow public transport, meeting running overtime or anything else that you think could slow you down. A date that arrives on time indicates that they are making the person they are seeing a priority, it shows respect as well as good manners.

2: Playing with your phone

Granted we are all a little addicted to the convenience of what our phones can do for us; however, when you are on a date with someone, it should be kept out of sight! The focus should be on getting to know one another personally and organically, rather than updating statuses or checking social media. Make an effort not to text or take calls (unless they are completely necessary) during your date, as it shows that you value and esteem the time with the person in front of you.

3: Bad manners and no eye contact

Good manners really do go a long way, everything from saying please and thank you to simple acts of chivalry.  Listening attentively to your date and making eye contact also shows that you appreciate this meeting with them and want to pay your respects. Being old fashioned I believe that the man should always pay for the first date, simply because it is a romantic and generous gesture which makes the woman he’s with feel like she is someone special.

4: Talking about the EX

The first date should be fun and about getting to know each other casually, so save any heavy talks or discussions about previous relationships for a more appropriate time. Talking about past lovers on a first date usually leaves one person feeling uncomfortable, plus it’s not exactly a romantic mood setter.

5: Unwanted touching

When there is a mutual connection and chemistry the rules of intimacy tend to get thrown out the window on a first date! However before you start getting touchy feely with your date, make sure the feelings are reciprocated. Ladies, if a guy is in your personal space and you feel uncomfortable, then stand your ground and make sure you tell him. There is nothing romantic about being groped or touched inappropriately and there are no excuses for why it should happen.

 

 

 

Conversation Topics That Immediately Kill A First Date

A first date can be a nerve-wracking experience at the best of time so don’t blow your chances before you’ve even started. Avoid these conversation-killer topics and bag yourself that second date with ease.

Exes

Talking about yours or asking why they spilt up with theirs is off-topic. No one wants to hear about exes and certainly not when trying to impress someone new. Mention your ex and it will put a downer on your first date that will be hard to shake.

Plans for the Future

5 year plan conversations should definitely be shelved until further notice. For both men and women this rule applies, don’t start planning your lives together on the first date!

Specialist Subjects

Your knowledge of serial killers, nude photography and road kill recipes are best left until you get to know the person better. Your interest may be perfectly healthy and intellectual but they don’t you well enough yet to make that distinction.

Complaints

Whether you’re moaning about your boss, your job, your roommate or your family – just don’t! A first date is not the time to be a grumpy bum! Likewise, don’t complain about the choice of meeting place if it was your date’s idea.

Self-depreciation

You might not have much in the way of confidence but going on about how you’re ‘such a loser’ isn’t going to win you any sympathy – or a second date.

Politics or Religion

While it is good to know where a prospective partner stands on important subjects, best to leave these until the third or fourth date at least.

Finances

Don’t start talking about how much you earn and never ask how much your date earns. Discussing how much you spent on your handbag or the dress you’re wearing is a no-no as well. You’ll either come across like you are bragging or as someone totally materialistic.

Sex

Do not assume that your date will want to have sex with you after the first meeting. A first date should be light, fun and with minimal pressure. If you bring up the subject of sex, you are putting your date under pressure to choose right then and there and they may not be comfortable with that.

Personal Secrets

Of course it is a good idea to share details about yourself on a first date, don’t go overboard, especially with personal secrets, such as a current family dispute or that time you were arrested for public nudity. It can be liberating to share with a stranger but it is not the right tone for a first meeting.

True Love

You have only just met this person and, even though you’ve got butterflies and think they are The One, coming on too strong is likely to send them running. If it is meant to be, you’ll get that second date.

Appearance Expectations

If you are going on a blind date, or they don’t quite meet up to their photos, don’t point out that you had higher expectations. It is very rude. If they are not for you physically, be polite, see the date through and then let them down gently later.

How To Be Irresistible On A First Date

Wouldn’t it be awesome to be absolutely irresistible to everyone you are attracted to? The good news is that you have a lot more control over that happening than you might think because being irresistible is less about them and more about you. Being irresistible is essentially about embracing your awesomeness and having others feel so good in your presence that they simply can’t resist you. Below are my 5 steps to being irresistible which work wonderfully on a first date, in a long-term relationship and on essentially everyone else with a pulse.

1. Give Good Eye

The MOST important part of being irresistible is the way you look at your date. So if you’re not comfortable looking directly into that Cutie’s eye this is definitely an area you will want to practice and improve. I recommend you look directly into their eyes about 70% of the conversation while appreciating their best qualities and savoring being in their presence. This will allow your eyes to naturally emit an electric chemistry which will be very inviting and be very hard for your date to resist.

2. Have A Fun Attitude

You and your date have chosen to spend a little personal time together so enjoy yourself and have a light and breezy demeanor. Choose fun and pleasurable conversations, laugh at their jokes, and freely share that gorgeous smile of yours.

3. Pay Attention

While on your date, turn off your phone and basically ignore everyone else. The only Cutie you need to pay attention to is the one sitting in front of you. In fact I’d like you to imagine that even if a pack of wild coyotes broke down the door you wouldn’t notice because you are just too enthralled with your date. Also feel free to use their name throughout your conversation because it lets them know you are focused on them and helps them feel connected to you.

4. Align Yourself With Their Passions

Everyone’s favorite topic of conversation is THEIR favorite topic of conversation so the best way to have your date enjoying the conversation is to discuss topics THEY enjoy. Perhaps they love discussing their dog, their team, or their favorite place to visit?

Ask them questions about what they are passionate about and they will be much more likely to enjoy their conversation with you and want to spend more time with you in the future. Also while you are learning about their passions make sure to treat what your date says as if they are “gems of wisdom.”

5. Compliment Them

People love spending time with others who appreciate them so let your date know you find them attractive and exciting a few times throughout the date. Sometimes you can actually inspire someone to feel excitement for you simply by letting them know that you are honestly attracted to them! Let your date know exactly what you appreciate most in them, how you’re inspired by them and how much you admire the choices they’ve made in their lives. You’ll get extra points if you also assume your date can do anything successfully.

You are now armed with the information you need to be irresistible to every Cutie you want. The last step is to get out there and practice, practice, practice! The more you practice the more fun you’ll have and the quicker you’ll have that Cutie wrapped around your little finger.

 

For more dating and relationship tips please visit Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and let’s connect on: Facebook Twitter Youtube. If you’d like a lot more dating tips right now please check out my book, “Flirt For Fun & Meet THE ONE” Best of luck to you and I’ll be rooting for you!!!

Together Or Separate? How To Respond To This First Date Question!

First, second, and even third dates can be made awkward for a variety of different reasons but lately the question of “who pays the bill?” has been the topic of conversation among my single friends, men and women alike.

I caught up with a friend over coffee and she confessed she was back in the singles pool and actively dating again.

Exciting? Very. Awkward? Extremely.

Gabbing about our latest dating experiences, my witty, outgoing, gorgeous friend surprised me when she admitted she was at a loss for words on her last date. She said,

“The date was going great, both of us in the groove, conversation flowing, but then my anxiety crept up at the very end when the waiter looked down at the two of us and asked, “will this be together or separate?” I froze instantly. So many thoughts whirling in my mind…Do I grab my wallet? What if he puts his card down first, do I put mine on top? Do I argue with him? When do I stop arguing with him? Do I offer to pay half? Do I sit and say nothing? I got so awkward! I didn’t want him to think I was expecting him to pay the full bill!”

My friend went on to tell me she has gone as far as buying gift cards to restaurants for dates, telling her date it was a present from a friend, just to avoid the awkward method of payment at the end. This way they were “both” getting treated…

I realized quickly this was a problem for my friend and most likely other singles attempting to navigate the uncharted realms of the dating world.

Expectations can vary among daters, but I have always stuck to a couple guidelines before heading on a date to keep me in check.

Never assume the bill will be covered

The majority of first dates I have been on, my date has covered the bill but this isn’t always the case. Whether it be drinks, dinner or a movie, I have never expected my date to pay the full bill. When the check is placed on the table, pull out your wallet. If your date says they’ve got this one, thank them politely, put your wallet away and say you’ve got the next one, if you want a second date that is.

Always carry cash

Take money out prior to a date just in case you two decide to split the bill. If your date only has card, let them know you have cash and have no problem going halfsies! Cash in your wallet is also helpful at old school restaurants that refuse to take card! I have definitely found myself in that awkward situation before.

Talk about it

I would reserve this conversation for the fourth, fifth or sixth date when you have established some sort of exclusivity. I think it is really important to understand each other’s expectations and dating style early on. The rule that has worked best for me in the past is going date for date. For example, if I treat my boyfriend to a date night on Friday, he will get the next one the following weekend, so it becomes an equal playing field.

I want to know how you choose to pay the bill?! Together or separate?