Not Stiff but Smart – First Date Style Guide for Men

First dates are always a touch stressful; an occasion where we meticulously think about what to wear. Choosing the right outfit is an easy bonus point on the ‘first impression’ score card, and today, I am going to focus on the male wardrobe.

Let’s take a look at two common mistakes men tend to make when choosing a date outfit. First, you may be under-dressed and second, you may be over-dressed for the occasion..

Here are some tricks and tips on what to wear on your first date. And you don’t even have to break the bank to look and feel good – online clothing sales are always a great go-to.

Grooming comes first

Before thinking about what clothes or style you should rock on your date, decide whether you need a shave, get a haircut, or trim the beard! Make sure you’ve brushed your teeth (+1 for flossing), you’ve trimmed your fingernails and have groomed that facial hair, that sometimes makes you look like a well-traveled backpacker.

Before you head out the door, spray a little of your favorite scent but don’t overuse it! The last thing you want to do is smell like the perfume aisle in a department store.

Dress appropriately for the occasion 

Comfort is everything but I’m not talking sweatpants and sweatshirt. No no. Dressing appropriately, while still being comfortable is key! Women are keen observers; they notice details and the last thing you want her to think is she’s the one making you uncomfortable, even though it’s 100% your tight pants. If you know you’re going to a trendy cocktail bar, start ironing that dress shirt, but if you’re off to a casual bar, jeans and a crisp T are completely acceptable.

Not stiff but smart 

Women love seeing men look sharp but not overly dressed up in that expensive tux. Tux or flashy suits make men look intelligent and classy, but wearing it on the first date may be a touch overwhelming, depending on where it is you’re going of course. Dressing smart but appropriate will go a long way.

Pick a shirt and a nice tailored blazer, and trouser — without the tie,  is perfect.

Let your shirt do the flirting

Listen up gentlemen, button down shirts are sexy. Women find it attractive when men tease them with some skin showing, not too much though!

Be creative and don’t be afraid to play around with textures, prints, and color. Be sure to find a good shirt that will emphasize the tone of your body; it should not be too tight or too loose.

Choosing the right shoes

Now to finish off the outfit with a perfect pair of kicks!

A pair of well-polished leather shoes goes well with you smart casual. Follow the proper dress code in the place where you’ll be having your date.

Expert tip ** Avoid wearing new leather shoes on your first date. It may add unattractive points if you start limping because you have a blister.

If you have it, flaunt it.

This doesn’t mean you should wear a singlet which is barely a shirt I may add, just to show off those muscles. Cover up but always emphasize your favorite physical traits to feel confident, which will inevitably capture your date’s attention.

5 Ways To Make A Great First Impression

They say that you only get one chance to make a great first impression. Whilst that isn’t true for every date, it still is important to get the first meeting off to a good start. When the nerves (or the traffic) kicks in, we can be left feeling flawed from the beginning. The problem is most of the time we have already set a certain expectation on ourselves and the date, so we feel disappointed if something doesn’t go exactly the way it should. The trick is to remember that sometimes are reaction to the curve balls are what really helps us seal the deal. But here are 5 quick tips on how to make sure you get their attention and a chance for a second date:

1: Don’t be late

Easier said than done in some circumstances, however if you know you are someone who is either notoriously late or perhaps have a job that keeps you overtime, make sure you accommodate for this. Turning up on time, shows that you respect the person and their time right from the beginning. It also means you will not keep them awkwardly waiting or be stressing out. In general, it’s just common good manners, and courtesy never goes astray.

2: Don’t talk about yourself all the time

Even if you are excited and fabulous, make sure you don’t dominate the conversation. It might be tempting to feel like you have to talk about yourself if your date is shy or stuck for answers. Instead ask them questions about who they are. First dates should be about getting to know each other to see if you have common interests and are compatible.

3: Don’t talk about past relationships or overshare

It’s good to keep things surface level on a first encounter. Not only does this give you a bit of mystery and keep your date intrigued, but it also shows that you have self-control with your words, thoughts and feelings. Talking about your ex or oversharing private parts of your life just aren’t appropriate for a first date. Even if you date starts to lead you down that path of conversation, try to change it quickly to avoid any sort of overly emotional or baggage talk.

4: Stay away from your phones

Make it a rule not to look at your phone when you are with your date. It’s a hard habit to break when we are always constantly checking our emails and social media. Don’t leave your phone out on the table, put it away and give your date your full attention. It signifies respect for them and your time together. It also means less distractions.

5: Dress to impress

Go to the physical effort for your date. We are human after all and being physically attracted to someone is a normal thing to feel. Dress with confidence and dress to impress. This isn’t about relying on just your looks to win them over, but rather feeling good about yourself and showing them that you respect yourself and them enough to make more than a normal effort.

 

What Not To Wear On A Date!

BUT WHAT WILL I WEAR!?

Famous last words of anyone heading out the door before a date!

Dates are already stressful enough – Deciding where to go, what to say and inevitably, what to wear! Today I am here to help you, by explaining what you should NOT wear on a first date!

Image result for but what will i wear gif

 

Crocs – Exhibit A, says it all. This foot wear is far too casual and it looks like you’re about to trim the hedges or water the plants.

Exhibit A.

ross

Socks with Sandals – How this ever became a ‘thing,’ I will never know. Anything is better than this – if you’re wearing socks, simply pull them off and Velcro those bad boys up. Or, here’s a good one, keep the sandals in the closet and put on shoes. Problem solved. 

Exhibit B.

socks-and-sandals-3

Stained Anything – This look tells me you just ate a Sloppy Joe and used your shirt as a napkin. Stop double dipping into your dirty hamper and put on that crisp laundered outfit you remembered to wash the night before your date! But seriously – this rule should apply to your every day routine. 

Exhibit C.

sloppy-joe

Shants and Sheeves – For those of you new to these two terms, they may be my favorite words of all time. 

Shants are short-pants, but not any old short pant. Shants are pants that hang just a touch shorter than they should. They are pant’s awkward cousin. Exhibit D, is a person who needs to read this article and a perfect example of someone rocking socks with sandals and a good ol’ pair of shants. How to know when you’re wearing shants? Take a seat and if the pants linger above your calves, they are SHANTS.

Exhibit D.

socks-and-sandals

Now you may have guessed what Sheeves are based on the definition of Shants.

Sheeves (a word, I believe, I made up) are short-sleeves that fall in that no man’s land between your wrist and elbow. A sweater or shirt, that is clearly too small for you, will inevitably come with a pair of sheeves.  

Exhibit E.

sheeves-edited

Uncomfortable Heels – Okay, I always feel my best in a great pair of heels but let’s get serious. The last thing you want to do after saying goodbye to your date is trot away looking like Bambi. Comfortable heels do exist ladies! 

Exhibit F.

Image result for a girl who can't walk in heels gif

Too much cologne or perfume – THE WORST – Everyone knows a date that smells good, is a date to remember; but, when perfume or cologne is applied like lotion, it’s toxic!

Exhibit G.

perfume1

Gym Gear – Even though you look totally cute in your new gym ensemble, this outfit does not cut it on a first date! Arriving in your sports tank and shorts will immediately suggest you’ve come straight from your sweaty work out. Talk about a smelly first impression. This shows you didn’t take even a little bit of time or effort to look presentable. 

Exhibit H.

gym-gear

See Through Anything – Leave a little something up to the imagination! If you do plan on wearing anything sheer on a date, I suggest a solid tank or bando to go underneath. Save that super sexy number for a girls night out.

Exhibit I.

jenner

There you have it; my top 7 What Not To Wears on your first date. Now do yourself a favor and burn those crocs.

First Impressions Matter: Here’s How To Nail Them

We all know that a great first impression may land you the job but what about a second date? I can not stress enough how important the first seven seconds of any encounter is whether it be online, face to face or the dreaded parent introduction. This is your time to shine; that moment where you can burst through the doors knowing full well you aced the test. It is rare that you will ever get a second chance to make a great first impression. If you have ever been one to fumble or fall flat on the initial “hello,” please do yourself a favor and read the following.

How to make a great first impression….

ONLINE

  • A tasteful profile picture. Keep your shirt on and smile, this is not a mug shot.
  • Proof read your first message three times over, like your grade school teacher is perched on your shoulder. And for the love of god never include the word f*ck.
  • Send a thoughtful first message in which you reference back to your match’s profile. This will show that you have taken the time to actually read what they had to say.

FACE TO FACE INTERACTION

  • Be attentive and on time! Late on a first date is the epitome of saying “I really don’t respect your time or care to be on this date.”
  • Wear your most fashion forward outfit. Change out of the stained sweatpants that you just fiercely sweated in at the gym.
  • Subtleties in your body language. No one wants a Touchy Tom or Salacious Sally.

MEET THE PARENTS

  • Firm handshake and look them in the eye, just like you did in that job interview. You’re on your way to getting the stamp of approval.
  • Make yourself useful and always offer to help where you can. If you are tall and strong,  grab the salad bowl off the highest shelf. You have officially won over mom.
  • Every parent wants you to love their daughter or son as much as they do. Don’t be Mr. Roboto. It’s okay to show your love and affection, but make sure these are small gestures. No PDA I repeat No PDA.

How to Write a Great First Message to Your Online Crush

 

Writing a great first message to your online crush is as crucial as choosing your best online dating profile photo. If you want to make a great first impression to your online crush, you must follow my three essential F rules to online dating. When you are online dating looking to get any man’s attention, you want to be FUN, FEMININE and FLIRTY!

Let’s explore how we can focus on the essential F’s in creating a great first message online!

Fun or Funny

What guy doesn’t like a sense of humour? Guys dig women who can make them laugh, and more importantly who can laugh at their jokes! Having a compatible sense of humour is a huge plus and turn on for a man. Perhaps you have a dry sense of humour. You may be sarcastic, you may be silly or you may like your slap stick humour. An important element to a great first message is saying anything that will make him smile, chuckle and if you can do it, get him to laugh out loud – like for real! LOL It’s not hard to to be funny if you do have a natural funny bone. If you struggle with humour you can always search for a great funny joke online to share with him. Here’s a joke I found for someone who is NOT into fitness.

“Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day, I will meet someone who will hate them with me.” I would end it with, what are your thoughts on this? Care to join me?

Feminine

O.K ladies, this piece of advice may be challenging for some of you because there are a lot of you women who play the Alpha role and boss lady in real life. Most guys don’t want to date a bitchy, demanding, over bearing know-it-all. You know the type? The kind of woman who doesn’t NEED a man? The kind of woman who has it all covered, who can hold her own door and pay her own bills. If you come off as someone in your first message as the type who talks all about herself and how great you are, it leaves no opportunity for the man to be the hunter. You’ve heard that men like a challenge right? They don’t want competition. If you want to write a great first message you want to showcase your softer, feminine, gentle and caring side. It doesn’t mean you appear fragile and helpless, it means that you are certainly leaning more towards your “girly” traits. A great way to do that is to write something that you are really impressed by. You can also ask him a question about his work, and his hobbies or indicate that you’ve always wanted a man who was good with his hands… Essentially you are showing him that you are impressed by him and that you could use his help in some way. The damsel in distress move will always bring out the hidden hero in a guy.

Flirty

Ladies, men love it when you give them positive cues of interest and when you can open the door for flirty dialogue. Being flirty doesn’t mean that you are easy or overtly sexual. Being flirty does suggest a playful intention of sexual interest and the key is to remain feminine and classy. Now, if you are the type who is more liberal and are open to sexual dialogue early then go for it. After all, you should be clear on your dating goals and attract men who are on the same page as you. A simple key to being flirty is to complement his physical appearance or anything on his profile that turned you on, something that caught your attention. Being playful allows him to play back and begin the process of modern day courtship.