5 Ways To Know You Are Settling

When we meet someone special it’s easy to put them on a pedestal; however sometimes those rose colored glasses we wear can really hinder us from seeing the truth about our relationships or our partner’s character.

Here are 5 quick signs that indicate that it’s time to see things from a new perspective:

1: You don’t have a deep sense of peace or happiness

When you settle in love, you also settle for a second rate happiness and lose the sense of peace about your relationship and life. A joyful fulfilling and healthy relationship will have it’s tough times but there will always be an underlying sense of peace and overall feeling of contentment.

2: You keep justifying everything

It’s not easy admitting that you aren’t happy or in your ideal relationship and one of the habits you may pick up, is justifying why you have settled. This isn’t so much about trying to convince others, but rather about trying to convince yourself as to why you should stay with this person, or why you are allowing them to treat you a certain way.

3: You keep wondering about the “what if’s”

The second biggest way to know you are settling in love; the first being a lack of happiness and peace, is to find yourself day dreaming about the possibilities of something better. It’s completely normal to yearn for a happy and fulfilling love; you shouldn’t want to escape from the relationship you have if you have chosen not to settle.

4: There is a lot of conflict or complacency

A second rate relationship will also mean there will be more conflict, battles or complacency present. When we learn to wait for a love that we are worthy of, we also invite the chance to have a relationship that encourages us to flourish in every aspect of our life.

5: Your future is unclear

A lacking relationship will also make it harder to plan for a stable future, because you either have inconsistency in the present or are not excited about what is to come with the person you’re with now. When you commit to someone who meets your desires and gives you what you need, you are also invite clarity, security and inspiration into your life.

5 Signs You’re Forcing A Relationship

Relationships should NEVER feel forced. They should grow organically and bloom into a long lasting beautiful correlation. This goes for both romantic and friendly relationships.

If you currently feel like you are “forcing a relationship,” I highly suggest you take a seat and review the following…

Are they the right one?

So you’ve been catching yourself wondering lately, “hmm, I don’t know if this is right.” I know the feeling… and let me tell you, that is the first sign that opens another can of questions that puts the relationship into perspective. So what does “right for each other” mean anyway? Right for each other is when you laugh at each others jokes, share a conversation through eye contact, and find yourself chatting for hours. You have similar taste in food, music, activities, dreams, and pet preference (yes, you’ve read that correctly, if you love dogs and he doesn’t, it’s not going to work…FYI)

I’m feeling ignored…

So you need to have a serious talk about your feelings, work, or maybe what you had for lunch (yes, lunch is serious business, I want you to know all about the amazing grilled cheese sandwich I had today.) During this conversation, your significant other ignores you, or looks completely disinterested; and that my friend, really sucks! Your partner is the person you want to tell everything to, from your epic meal time to your deepest darkest fears. If your partner has absolutely zero interest in listening to you (and vice versa), there will be sorrows down the road. Resentment will eventually build up, making you miserable and wanting to hang out with other people. 

I can’t tell them anything!

Ah, right here, this one! This is a real relationship killer. You MUST feel comfortable telling your partner everything you are feeling, the positives and the negatives. If you can’t, they are not the one for you. It’s as simple as that. Don’t worry though, you will move on to meet new people and gain new experiences that will result in finding that special someone. You can tell him/her anything and everything, and they won’t judge or look down on you. There are nearly 8 billion people on Planet Earth and someone out there is a match for you. Life has shown me to never give up, there is a right time and place for everything, and until then, the quest continues…

I’m feeling trapped and suffocated

There are many reasons one can feel trapped in a relationship. A lot of times, issues can be resolved by one vital ingredient: Communication. You may feel suffocated because he/she texts you every 30 minutes which, if you ask me, is extremely inconvenient and annoying. The nice person that you are, doesn’t want to say anything to hurt his/her feeling. Guess what!? You must express how something makes you feel, ALWAYS. You can say something like this:  “Hey, I enjoy our chats, but lately I’ve been feeling a little suffocated by your frequent messages.” If there is a future for the two of you, he/she will understand, apologize and take the constructive criticism. If the chat results in an unresolved argument, move on! This means you may not be compatible, as previously mentioned. It is best to release Tommy Texter to someone that will actually enjoy and appreciate all the messaging. True Story!

I can’t imagine growing old together

If the idea of a future together doesn’t excite you, big red flag! With the right one, you should be dreaming about and planning all the awesome things you want to do with that person. Your soulmate, as they say. If you aren’t  doing that with your current partner, it’s time to have a chat with yourself. Is it fair to you? Is it fair to the them? Perhaps you are wasting each others time in a relationship that has nothing to offer in the long run. Maybe you guys are better off  just being friends. It’s always helpful to build a pros and cons list. What do you like about this relationship?  What do you dislike? Remember, you have to stay true to yourself and to the other person. Life is too short to force yourself into a relationship that isn’t bringing you any joy.

If you have a feeling your current relationship is inevitably heading toward the finish line, take everything you’ve learned along the way as a lesson to help you grow to become wiser and stronger.