Are you attempting to strike up a conversation with someone on PlentyOfFish right now? Writing that very first message is exciting, nerve racking and straight up difficult sometimes. You try to be witty, insightful and original in your messaging to stand out among all the other messages in her/his inbox.
There’s no shortage of online dating advice out there for singles, but like anything else, sometimes the best advice comes from someone who has been down that road before. We asked some real life, seasoned online daters who have found success on PlentyOfFish to pass on some of their best advice. If we do say so ourselves, it’s pretty bang on!
On manners:“Just act like a sane, normal person. And use your manners! Never say anything that you wouldn’t say to someone’s face just because you’re behind a computer screen.”
On keeping it real: “Online dating provides a process for evolution and learning. You learn by establishing some guidelines. For example, if you haven’t both agreed on a date and time to meet within a few weeks, you should consider ceasing contact. And like anything in life, while you can accept help, read books, and get advice from friends, you have to participate in the process.”
On the no-nonsense approach: “Keep writing decent and heartfelt messages to whoever you want – so forget your “type”. Mention something that stood out about their profile.”
On keeping your image game strong: “Be yourself but understand that images come first. If someone is not attracted to you, it won’t matter if Hemingway wrote your profile.”
On being tech savvy: “Download the PlentyOfFish app! It’s a totally different experience (in a good way) and you can meet way more people, even faster.”
On assuming gender roles: “Don’t fall into the thinking that men should always make the first move. If you see someone who interests you, message them! Also, let’s just be real and admit that people aren’t impressed by lists and stuff, they want to know what you feel.”
On smiling: “You have 8 seconds to make a good impression. Women will see your main image as a tiny pic the size of a saltine cracker on their cell phone screens. If your main image is not clear, bright and attractive, they move on. A genuine smile is inviting, warm and attractive. Women want to see your eyes and smile.”
On making plans: “NOTHING IS REAL UNTIL YOU MEET. Don’t waste your time on endless text messages. After three or four solid messages, ask for a phone number. Call to arrange a first meeting. Connect in a safe, quiet place like a cafe where you can talk and get to know each other.”
On what it should all really be about: “Above all, keep a sense of humor. Have FUN.”