Today we are excited to share a heartwarming success story we received just last week from two former Plenty of Fish members, Kerby and Simon. Simon had given up on finding love due to his experience in a past relationship, but it wasn’t long before Kerby changed his entire outlook on love and on life.
Women don’t propose – so says our society. But guess what – you can disregard that and pop the question to him, if the timing is right and all the signs point to YES. What you may need is guidance on how to actually do it, and I’ve got some answers for you!
TIMING IS EVERYTHING
But what if he is planning to propose to me?
Maybe he is working up the courage to ask you and has plans to do so but if you beat him to the punch, don’t worry it won’t mess everything up! The best thing to do is a solid gut-check. Take a quiet evening or a weekend away to collect your thoughts and gain freedom from distractions to think this through. If you’re feeling unsure or that you’re rushing it, respect these feelings and pull back. If the timing is perfect and you feel 100% ready, go for it!
You don’t want to regret a missed opportunity!
What if I lose him because I decided to propose, and he takes offense? No man who truly loves his girlfriend would refuse a proposal based solely on the fact that you decided to propose first. And if this is the case, you may want to seriously re-evaluate your relationship.
WORK UP THE COURAGE
You’re scared at the idea of asking him. The thing is, he is just as scared too! This may be the reason why he hasn’t ask you yet, because he is just as fearful of rejection as you are.
Disarm the sting of rejection by throwing away your expectations of his response. You have no control over whether he says yes or no. By having expectations of one particular answer, you work yourself up over his decision, which you have no control over.
Jim Camp, a negotiation expert, says you need to start with an invitation to say no. While his work is geared towards business, the main points ring true universally. That is, be neutral in your expectations, and most importantly, it’s okay to let him know he can respond with a no.
It is however important to express you’re looking for marriage at this stage in your relationship.
IT’S ALL IN THE DETAILS
Ah yes, now that you’ve decided to propose, you have the follow up questions. Where do I propose? Should I use a ring? What exactly do I say?
Regarding location details, model your proposal how you’d want to be proposed to. Do you two have a special place? Your first date location? The place you shared the ‘L’ word for the first time?
But what about the ring! The goal is to figure out his ring size without him knowing, which can sometimes prove to be a challenge. Check out this short guide that highlights several creative ways to measure his finger without him ever knowing why. Yes, it’s geared more toward men getting a woman’s ring size, truth is, it’ll be even easier for a woman to pull off.
And what do I say!? When it comes to the actual words, you need to make them 100% your own. It doesn’t always matter what you say exactly, it’s how you say it. Having an honest, heart felt conversation is the overall goal.
Now what are you waiting for. You’ve got this!
It’s an incredible moment when you find that sweetheart you want to spend forever with! We get it; online dating can be daunting and completely out of your comfort zone. If you are currently a member on POF, congrats for taking the leap and just know we’re cheering you on. And because we’re all about celebrating love, today we’re celebrating the success story of Junior and Kristina.
How they met:
Junior and Kristina first became members on PlentyOfFish over three years ago. Kristina remembers seeing Junior’s profile, messaging him and the rest is history. A few messages back and forth turned into texting and eventually they decided to meet.