5 Reasons Women Can’t Stand Passive Men

What do women want? If you don’t care, this article isn’t for you. However, when a real man meets a special lady, he will most certainly care about her, and what it takes to keep her interested. Some modern men may believe that chivalry and courting are old fashioned, unnecessary tactics of impressing the woman they desire, and have become passive in their pursuit.  The sexy and aggressive alpha-male has become a diamond in the rough, making way for the rise of the lazy man, and the Lazy Courtship. It happens because women let men get away with it. Low self-esteem causes some women to settle for less, or as some suggest, becoming the new men – aggressively going after what they want to make up for the aggressiveness men are lacking.

Gentlemen: Whether you are looking for a special lady or have found one, how is your passive demeanor going to show her how special she is to you, and keep her around? Here are 5 reasons why women can’t stand passive men:

1.      Women know that Men don’t Respect anything Easily Attained

It’s a catch-22. Many modern men don’t feel the need to put in effort when it comes to pursuing the woman they want. However, they also don’t respect a woman who’s easily attained. Even if a woman feels a connection with a man, and is willing to look past his frustratingly lazy courtship because she truly likes him for him – the man will wonder why his lazy courtship worked. He may even subconsciously lose interest because it was too easy. It’s a lose-lose situation. The win-win? Women need to have more self-respect and not settle for less than they deserve, while men could definitely step it up a little to show that they value how special their woman is.

2.      Women still want Men to take the Lead

It might seem old fashioned, but women are turned on by a man who takes the lead- or at least take notice of him. Women inherently love to be pursued. There’s no denying that women love a man who makes the plans, and makes statements instead of asking questions when the situation calls for it. Try a more direct and bold approach, instead of hanging back to gauge reaction. Try being forward by saying “Would you like to go out for a drink tonight around 7?” rather than the passive, “Hey, what are you up to?”

3.      Modern Women still Melt for Chivalry

Why is chivalry practically dead? Most likely because these days, a cute text message can be considered romantic, and even though women really appreciate cute texts, texting is easy – and lazy. It’s also a way for a man to effortlessly create the false intimacy needed in order to keep women on the hook and string them along. If their way of telling you they like you or miss you is via text message, and they’re not coming to see you, or calling you, or really proving it, this is the type of man who will probably break up with you via text message too. This man is winning! He gets to have you when he wants you, and all he had to do was move his thumbs for a few seconds. Real chivalry looks a lot different than this, and women still crave it. If a man cares about a woman, he should want her to be happy and want to be chivalrous. Chivalry is important in order for a woman to feel like she matters to her man, so guys, plan a cute date night every once in awhile!

4.      A Woman is a Reflection of her Man

When a woman is being treated well by her man, and her man is putting effort in to show her how special she is to him, it is reflected in this woman’s general aura. A woman who is being treated well by her man has a glow about her. She is happy, passionate, driven and ambitious. She is a reflection of her man.  If a woman has a man in her life who is lazy, passive, and doesn’t care enough or doesn’t think she is special enough to put in any real effort, this woman’s self-esteem and self-respect gets damaged.

5.      A Woman measures her Value to you in the amount of Effort you put forth

From a man’s perspective, he might think it’s awesome that his passive pursuit works. These men, however, are usually only hooking women with low self-esteem and low self-respect who don’t think they deserve much more than what they’re getting out of their man. I mentioned how texting is an example of a man’s lazy courtship as it can help create false intimacy. Real intimacy comes in different forms, and if a man doesn’t care about his woman that much, it will show in the minimal effort put forth – and a woman will realize she must not be that valuable to him. If she’s a good woman and worth it, some effort should be put forth on the man’s part. Go and see her if she’s sick instead of texting “feel better soon”, and call her on Wednesday to ask her out Saturday night instead of passively waiting until the weekend rolls around. Even small efforts like this can make a world of difference, so if you find a woman who is worth it, don’t hold back!

5 Spooktacular Halloween Dating Tips for Singles

Looking to scare up a date or two this Halloween? Let the sparks fly with your favorite ghosts, goblins and ghouls, as POF’s resident Dating Coach Sarah Gooding shares some tricks and treats to help you find a hair-raising sweetie this Halloween night!

1. Choose a Costume that Plays to your Personal Interests

Halloween only creeps up on us once a year, so it’s completely acceptable for even the most conservative of people to dress on the sexier side. So go ahead – dress as crazy and outrageous as you dare! Rather than sticking to the typical sexy costumes, (ie. sexy police officer, sexy nurse) try your hand at a costume that plays to your personal interests. For instance if you love NFL football, dress up as a cheerleader from your favorite team. If you love race cars, try your best imitation of your favorite race car driver. If you love entertainment and current events, go as new mom Snooki clutching her new baby, a blue-wigged Katy Perry, or a happy dancing PSY from Gangnam Style. Playing to your personal interests will show off your humour and act as an easy conversation starter at the costume party.

Little Red Riding Hood2. Cast a Spell with your Interactive Costume

Of course it’s easier than normal to break the ice on Halloween night, but why not make it a bit more fun by adding an interactive element! We recommend including aspects in your get-up that will make it easier to approach someone or get a conversation started – and that means less pressure on you, too! For instance, Kelly, a POF user from NYC went as a graffiti wall last Halloween. She wore all white, carried around a few markers, and asked others at the party to contribute their creativity to her blank canvas. This could be a fun, flirty way to exchange numbers with someone you’ve been chatting with. Another POF user named Samantha, dressed up as little red riding hood and handed out candies from her basket all night. “It was an easy way to approach someone and everyone loves an unexpected treat

3. Stay Away from Bulky Costumes or Too Much Makeup

Costumes that take up a lot of space (particularly those made from large cardboard appliance boxes), or require makeup from head to foot are difficult to maneuver in – especially if you’re at a crowded bar or house party. These costumes attract attention and can be a big hit at the beginning of the night, but by midnight your costume is usually on the floor, or haunting the personal space of anyone who happens to walk by. Other party goers will usually try to steer clear of costumes like these rather than attempt closeness. 

Halloween Mask4. Behold the Man in the Mask

With all of the wigs, makeup, and masks worn on Halloween night, it might be a little too easy to pass by people you can’t quite get a good look at. But beware – the unknown and mysterious are often the hidden gems! Don’t be shy to approach these people…you may just get a wicked surprise of your own when they reveal their true identity!

5. Go Easy on the Witch’s Brew

The 31st has the tendency to be a bit of a wild card, so it’s best not to add to its uncertainty by having too many drinks too early on. Besides, drinking too much makes it harder to meet people and make a good impression with someone new – try having a glass of water, or take a break and bob for apples in between drinks. Most importantly, the thought of our members making rotten decisions when it comes to a safe ride home gives us goosebumps, so make sure you have established a designated driver for your fright fest!