Spring Clean Your Relationship Clutter

Spring is here! This is the time of year when people clear out their closets, clean their homes, and refresh their wardrobes. But what about the other stuff? The stuff that actually matters? The stuff that you bury in your heart? The stuff that you are too scared to face?

Yea, that stuff.

I call this relationship clutter. It’s old baggage from past relationships – baggage that we either consciously or subconsciously cling to. This clutter is the reason why you’ve found yourself in a cycle of mediocre, awful, or toxic relationships. If you feel as though your relationships seem to embody the same theme… it’s because they do. When you hold onto your relationship clutter, you’re holding onto those stories; you replay events over and over again, driving yourself to insanity. Then you find yourself going out on another date with another mistake because you have yet to learn your lesson.

It’s time for you to spring clean your relationship clutter. Let go of the stories, release the past, and make room for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. You can do so by following these 3 steps:

Recognize Your Clutter

Ask yourself: “What old relationship stories am I holding onto?” Are you holding onto stories of being cheated on? Being dumped? Or feeling neglected? Take some time to reflect back on your past relationships… What did you walk away with? How were you left feeling? Recognize each and every single one of these stories so that you can finally accept their presence in your life.

Acknowledge The Clutter’s Affect On Your Life

How does your old relationship clutter affect you? What type of impact does it have on new relationships? I’m going to assume the impact isn’t positive. When you hold onto past relationship stories, you’re allowing those stories to hold power over you. They will seep into every new relationship experience, tarnishing it from becoming something different. For example, if you’re holding onto stories of being cheated on, you’ll probably find yourself living a ‘victim’ mentality and won’t be willing to trust a new partner. This is how you end up in a toxic relationship cycle. Go ahead – take note of how each past experience holds power over your current life. If you want to gain your power back, you’ve got to clean out the clutter.

Release The Clutter

This step is all about your willingness to move forward. It’s time to release your old relationship clutter. This is where you start dropping F-Bombs, aka FORGIVENESS. You’re probably cringing at the F-word, but that’s because you don’t fully understand how forgiveness serves you. Forgiveness does not condone another person’s actions; it’s about allowing yourself the freedom to let go. The more anger and resentment you hold against another human being, the stronger the bond. Think about it… Remember your ex? The one who cheated on you? How many times a day do you think about them? How have your thoughts about them negatively impacted new relationships? You’ve basically rendered yourself powerless to this person! It’s time to let go. Forgive them, forgive yourself, and cut the ropes that keep you tied to your past. Clean out every single piece of relationship clutter from your subconscious knowing that by doing so, you’ll create space for healthier, more positive relationships. FYI: If you’re having difficulty with this step, I would question your willingness to actually create change.

Relationship clutter is comprised of all our old wounds, hurts, and scars. But guess what? These things heal! You just have to allow them the opportunity to heal. It’s time for you to get rid of that stuff. It’s time for you to rid yourself of these old wounds. And Spring is the perfect time to begin cleaning out your relationship clutter.

Spring Cleaning Your Online Dating Profile

The seasons are changing and that means one thing. It’s time to dust off those winter blues and clean up. When it comes to spring cleaning, it’s not just your house that could use a little freshening up. Whether you’re in a dating lull or you’re back on the market or you just want to revitalize your profile, these simple tips will help you spring into action.

Picture Perfect

The easiest way to refresh your profile is to change up your images. While your profile is your main selling point, it’s your profile picture that reels them in. Instead of just changing your profile picture from your existing images, upload some brand new ones that showcase where you are at in your life right now. If you’re not having any luck with your existing pictures, it may be time to bin them all together and start anew.

Make Headlines

After your profile picture, your headline is the next thing that could catch someone’s eye and make them linger longer on your page. Some of us use headlines to showcase our wit and our love of pop culture; others to say exactly what we’re looking for a future mate. Regardless of our intention behind our headline, the most important thing is that it stands out. The same old boring headline could just lead to glazed over profiles while new, current and eye-catching headlines could lead to great first impressions.

Update Your Interests

Just as the seasons changes so do our interests. Your profile should reflect this. While all-weekend Netflix marathons were all the range in winter, you may want to update your profile with your current likes and interests. And it’s not just seasonal changes that you could add or remove; think about all the things that have recently spiked an interest. New interests could mean more compatible potential partners.

Free Your Mind

Spring isn’t just about cleaning up the old; it’s also about new life and beginnings. One way to breathe new life into your dating profile and your dating game is expanding your horizons. If you’ve found that your current crop of matches hasn’t been yielding the right results, perhaps it’s time to rethink some of those parameters. By changing or increasing the usual demographics could open up your chances of finding the perfect partner.