Summer Flings That Went Down In Flames

 

When I think of a summer fling, I envision Chris Hemsworth and I running Baywatch-style down the beach, wind in hair, as he swiftly picks me up with his bulging bicep. We share a giggle and all of a sudden we’re on horseback riding into the Australian sunset. We gaze longingly into one another’s eyes, knowing the blissful two months we shared were coming to an end.

A summer fling seems like a grand idea until it fizzles out like a faulty firework. PlentyOfFish posed this question, “Have You Ever Had A Summer Fling Go Down In Flames” and we received these stories of kindling romance that turned quickly into ash.

  • Summer lovin had me a blast, summer lovin happened so fast…met a boy crazy for me…But seriously he was nuts. A couple of summers ago I met a cute 28 year old man, Chris, who lived right in my neighborhood, talk about convenient.  Things were going really well between us and there was a strong attraction. One day he stopped calling and I decided to wait to hear from him. A few days later, I receive a message from his ex, they had reconciled. Two months later, unexpectedly, Chris shows up at my door expressing he broke up with his girlfriend yet again. It’s a never ending saga for them that I decided to stay out of.

Step away from the ex baggage!

The next story is about “Daring Dan” who simply just lacked etiquette.

  • “Dan was after me but I just wanted a fun fling because it was the summer after all! I’d broken up with my then boyfriend, and was leaving to dorm at college in 2 months. After a couple hookups, Dan dared to ask me if I’d marry his brother?! YES his brother, so that he could come to USA. I couldn’t even look at him the same way afterward, he must have thought he was really something in bed, and trust me, he wasn’t…”

At least Dan was a family man?

  • “Yes, I did have a summer romance” He, lets call him Mark, was lovely. We had a memorable holiday romance for a few weeks. Mark was avoiding work and travelling around Australia, with his dog in a camper trailer and we did some exploring together.  Fast forward. I return home and Mark is at my front door asking to move in with me as I support him and his furry friend. Yikes. Last I heard, the camper trailer self destructed and he ran out of money. Not sure where he is now.”

So, dear singles, before deciding to dip your toes into a new summer romance; set expectations and know what you want because the fling may turn into a full blown homeless stage 5 clinger.

Why You Should Trade Your Summer Fling For A Summer Of You

Summertime…

The season of beach parties, bikinis, and driving with the top down. It represents a time where we can let loose and have fun. Summer is truly a season for happiness and for some that happiness comes in the form of summer flings.

I see you… The one’s who use summertime as an excuse for unedited fun. The one’s who throw all relationship rules out the door in exchange for single nights of uninhibited glory. I see you, and I challenge you. That’s right, this post is for you. I’m challenging you to trade in your summer flings for the ‘Summer of You’.

What exactly is the ‘Summer of You’? It’s a time for you to just be you, minus the influence of new and temporary partners. It’s is all about honoring your needs and your growth. The ‘Summer of You’ is about celebrating you. Intrigued? Awesome. Here’s what I challenge you to do this summer:

Prioritize your self-care.

This is the perfect season for you to focus on you. What do you need to experience more happiness in your life? What could you do to show yourself more love? And no, the answer is NOT a fling or one-night-stand. Go deeper. What is it that you are truly seeking? Book yourself in for regular massages, treat yourself to pedicures and fresh haircuts, get lost in books, go for long walks, take a new yoga class, run outdoors… Commit to one act of self-care everyday this summer and see how that changes your life!

Nurture your friendships.

Have you ever had those friends who seem to fall off the face of the planet when they’re in relationships only to return to Earth when that relationship falls apart? Don’t be that friend. Take time this summer to truly nurture your friendships. Create a stronger bond through trips, adventures, and regular hang-time. Use this season to connect to your friends in a way that you’ve never connected before. After all, these are the people who are there for you even after relationships end.

Reexamine what you want.

Do you have a tendency to lean towards the idea of a one-night-stand or fling over a real relationship? Perhaps you find yourself caught in a cycle of crappy relationships? Stop. It’s time for you to reexamine what you truly want when it comes to relationships. You may think you know what you want, but if you’re not getting it, I can promise you that you aren’t clear enough on what that is.

Create something.

Wait what? Am I seriously asking you to work this summer? YES! But not on just anything… I want you to create something for you! Perhaps it’s something that you’ve been thinking of doing for a while but haven’t found the time to do it. Or perhaps it’s something that you really want to create but are scared to create it. Whatever it is… do it! Indulge in a new hobby, work on a new project, craft a new business plan… Create something that brings you happiness. Trust me, this is far more fulfilling than a fling.

Reset.

Relax. Chill out. Go zen. Use the summer to slow things down and expand time. In our busy world it’s so important to make an effort to slow down so we can reset and prepare for new adventures in our lives. Imagine not having to focus so hard on dating… you’d have so much more time to do other things! So take a deep breath and enter this summer with a more relaxed vibe.

Summertime isn’t just for flings. And let’s be honest… flings don’t offer you anything real in regards to relationships. Instead, I challenge you to take a step back, and indulge in a ‘Summer of You’.