7 Ways To Drive Any Woman Wild

All the small things… remember that song?

Saucy word play aside, it really is the small things about you that make our pulse race. And it might not be what you think. Whether we’ve just started dating or we’re happily coupled up, here are seven times you drove us absolutely wild without even knowing it.

When you brushed past us at the restaurant

When we’re truly into you, all it takes it a small touch in public. Accidentally-on-purpose brush past us. Lightly graze our arm with your fingertips. Rest your hand on our lower back. Because we know what’s coming when we get home.

When you wore that cologne

We have absolutely no idea what it is, but you smell amazing. It’s like success and sophistication mixed with a whole heap of sexy. Wear it again. We’ll find our own way to thank you.

When you opened the door for us

In an era when chivalry is as hard to find as a seat in Starbucks, gentlemanly acts make us swoon. Yes, we’re strong and independent. But showing your noble side makes us feel safe and protected. And it’s sexy!

When you shared your fantasies with us

There’s nothing sexier than when you share your saucy confessions with us. It makes us see you in a whole new light and we feel closer to you knowing you trust us with your innermost desires. And it also makes us feel more comfortable sharing our desires with you.

When you looked at us across the room

Sometimes you look sexier from afar, glancing at us from across a crowded room and looking at us in that way.

When you wore a suit

Tailored. Smart. Sexy. Whether it’s for that important client meeting or a big interview, we love how you look in a suit. Any time. For any reason. Find a reason. Just…. YES.

When you gave back

“What’s that babe? You’re volunteering for the hospital foundation? We LOVE when you’re kind. Generosity is HOT.

Do you know what’s sexiest of all? The fact that you weren’t trying in these moments.

You were just being the best version of yourself, and you won us over. That’s all you need to do. It’s simple, confident and sexy.

More from Cheryl Muir – To read the first three chapters of Cheryl’s erotic crime thriller, Angel of the Night, click here 

Top 5 Fall Date Ideas

And just like that, you blinked, played a Drake song or two, and Summer 16 was history. It may be a little chillier and a little darker, but Fall 16 has fully descended upon us, and believe it or not,  it’s the best time of year to try out some exciting new experiences in your love life!

Because pool parties and barbecues are overrated, and actually pretty awkward date ideas anyway, here are our top 5 fall date ideas:

1) A Pumpkin Patch

I know it sounds a little corny, but it can be pretty cute! Farmers markets are bustling with activity during the autumn months, so get in on the fun and check out one with a pumpkin patch! While rocking your gumboots, roll out into the patch and snag the perfect Jack’ O Lantern. Afterwards,  stick around and grab some local veggies to cook up together for dinner.

2) A Halloween Party

Sometimes, it can be fun to play pretend and dress up as someone else entirely. You may even see a completely new side to your date that you didn’t know existed. Even if you just head to a haunted house together, it’s great to get a little spooked all in the name of fun. If you’re really strapped for cash, a scary movie can create a similar ambiance for you and your special someone. Ghostbusters anyone?

3) An Art Show

When the weather is great, you probably don’t want to coop yourself up inside for hours – but that’s what fall is for! I guarantee there are some great places within your community to appreciate art, both great and small. So after some due diligence on some places that interest you (or bonus points, the style of art your DATE loves), grab some lattes and spend a rainy afternoon getting some culture! Even if you end up not loving the art, there’s no shortage of conversation starters! If you’re not wild on art in general, I recommend perusing your local bookstore or craft market!

4) Spa Day

This comes with a pricetag of course, but sometimes dreary autumn days call for a generous helping of good old fashioned TREAT YOURSELF. Indulge in massages and relax by the hot tub or pool. If that sounds a bit hard on the wallet, there are some great DIY spa recipes you can put to the test, without having to leave the comfort of your own home!

5) Brewery Tour

These days, it’s impossible to swing a purse without hitting a craft brewery in almost any neighborhood, so why not embrace it!? Many of these breweries boast seasonal offerings, so if it’s pumpkin flavor you’re after, you’re in luck! On a sunny, crisp afternoon, walk, cab, or take some responsible mode of transportation down to your local brewery for a tour of the premises, and indulge in a beer or two! Bonus points for most likely supporting a local business.

Signs He Is Emotionally Unavailable

We all ideally have the type of guy we want to meet, envisioned in our heads. And I’m pretty sure that the love story you have imagined will involve him falling deeply for you and being able to commit. Choosing to date someone emotionally available is sometimes harder than we think. Mainly because we won’t know if they are until later down the track. However, if you find yourself constantly “ghosted” or single, then perhaps you are addicted to dating men who aren’t ready to invest in love? Here’s a few tell -tale signs:

1: You can’t seem to find someone to commit

When a man is ready to be with a woman, he will do anything to make this happen. Unfortunately, if he has already decided that he doesn’t want anything more, than there’s not much you can do to change his mind. Just because you might be compatible on some levels, doesn’t mean he is emotionally ready to invest himself. This isn’t a reflection of who you are, but rather either a case of bad timing or the wrong guy for you. When someone chooses to commit to you, it means in every way.

2: You are constantly chasing after them

Whilst there shouldn’t be any games in love and relationships, there is always an element of chase. However, it should be the man wooing the woman. Not the other way around. If you are constantly chasing men who just seem to always be out of reach or only giving you false hope, then chances are these men aren’t emotionally available. Save yourself the time, heartache and energy, by guarding your heart and watching their actions. Are they actively pursuing you? If not, then move on.

3: You give them everything and get nothing in return

Love is a two-way street and you shouldn’t be the one doing all the work. When a man wants to invest in you and your relationship, he will be meeting you halfway. A healthy and fulfilling relationship shouldn’t leave you feeling drained.

4: You keep holding out hoping they’ll change

This is so easy to do, but incredibly exhausting. You can’t enter into a relationship in hope of what you want it to be. You need to see it for what it is and decide whether or not that is enough for you. Trying to fix your man or forcing him to feel the same way will only cause heartache, conflict and tension.

5: You make excuses for their behaviour

This is probably because you have put them on a pedestal which can happen when feelings are one sided. There is nothing wrong with elevating the person you love, but they should be lifting you up to. When there is an element of chase, we feel compelled to try and try over again to win that person over. This often results in us making excuses for their behaviour, because we don’t want them to lose any interest in us. We cling to what little they give us.

Top 5 Things That Make Men Run!

So you have a lot to offer and want to find a great guy. So what then are you doing to make men run? Whether it’s them or you, it’s always good to know what positive self-changes we can make to become great partners and attract equally fantastic men. So here are 5 common things that make men head for the hills:

1: Clinginess

This isn’t about playing hard to get, but rather giving a guy the space he needs. We don’t want to smother our man, as it sends the signal that we don’t know how to be independent without him. Being affectionate and attentive is one thing, but being clingy is another. Give the man a chance to miss you, and show him that you are quite OK on your own.

2: Lack of confidence and insecurities

Men love a confident woman. Period. When a woman stands firm in her self-worth and purpose, it becomes incredibly attractive to a man. Simply because it shows that she isn’t afraid of a challenge and rejoices in who she is. It also reveals a level of strength which draws guys in. Constantly obsessing about how you look or where you are failing will only turn men off.

3: Being too available

This doesn’t mean you have to leave him guessing and give him 6 “no”’s to one “yes”. But there is something more attractive about a woman when she shrouds herself in a bit of mystery and gives a guy a bit of chase. Nope this isn’t about playing games, but rather continuing on with your own life instead of putting it on hold for him. Keep doing what you are doing, learn to compromise to some degree but make sure it’s reciprocated.

4: Indecisiveness

This is a little bit annoying for anyone, but especially to men. When you can’t make up your mind, it shows two things; 1: that you are not having the confidence to do and say what you really want or 2: that you have no clear direction in your life . Be firm, say what you feel the need to say and be a decision maker. Don’t leave it up to the guy every time. Take initiative with plans and make the calls. He will love you for it!

5: Nagging

Probably the biggest turn off for a guy is when the woman he is with becomes a nag. Communicating what you want is necessary, but incessantly nagging him about it is not. If they guy doesn’t listen to you or take action, then you have two options; 1: do it yourself or 2: find someone else to do it for you (within reason of course).

And remember when we become the best versions of ourselves we open the door to attract the best man for us.

Speak Your Partner’s Language

Have you ever wanted to date someone outside your city, state or even country to see what options may be outside of your local watering hole, grocery store, or coffee shop? Or perhaps you have met someone online and want to make the first contact, but English isn’t their first language.

Well, I did.

And guess what? I was able to do so despite there being a language barrier in the beginning. In this post, I’ll show you exactly how to break the language barrier between you and your potential match. But first, let me tell you about my personal story…

In 2013, I was interested in dating a Brazilian woman.

Problem #1: She didn’t speak much English and I didn’t want to restrict myself to only people that did.

Problem #2: I didn’t speak a single word of Portuguese.

So, I decided to come up with some techniques to be able to communicate in Portuguese on a basic level.

Here are 4 of these techniques that you can use right now to be able to achieve the same because you can apply these to any language!

Using Google Translate to Understand Your Partner

Unlike what many people think, start with Google Translate. It should be used only to understand what your partner says because it won’t always give accurate translations, but with the context, you should be able to understand what it is your partner is saying.

Linguee – Excellent for Translations

Now that the understanding part is figured out, comes the part where YOU write something in his/her language. Linguee is, in my opinion, the best tool for doing so. However, finding the right translation is not instantaneous, because it generates about 25 of them, in order of relevancy.

Go for small sequences of words for better results.

Using the Google Search Engine to Check For Language Accuracy

Google has a huge amount of correctly written samples in a lot of different languages. Take advantage of them by checking if your sentences are correctly written.

This can be done by typing a small sentence in quotes as such: “eu acho você bonito”. Then, look at the number of results at the top to see whether it is likely “correct” in that language.

Generally, the higher the number of results, the more accurate the sentence.

Mimicking Your Partner

Start mimicking how your partner speaks. After all, he/she speaks the language better than you can. Take what your partner said (which you understand with the help of Google Translate) and reformulate it to express your own ideas. You and your partner will start to feel more and more connected!

So, there you have it. Apply these techniques and get ready to possibly meet the love of your life.

Why Older Women May Be Attracting Younger Men

Unless you’ve been on a remote island for the past ten years, you’ve probably heard the term “Cougar.” It’s a provocative term that conjures up an image of a hot, sexy, martini-holding older woman typically throwing herself on an innocent younger man. As a self-proclaimed Cougar and host of the Internet channel: The KarenLee Poter Show, about dating and sex, I’d like to share the truth as to why Cougars are the prey rather than the predators.

A little personal background: I became a widow several years back, and found myself thrown into the single’s world. After being married for 24 years, I was ill prepared for this new life. The first time I heard the word in reference to me, was in a restaurant in New Haven, Connecticut. I was sitting at the bar when a group of younger guys approached me. One brave soul named Aaron asked, “Are you a Cougar, my friends think you are?”

This was the beginning of a six-month long distance relationship, which admittedly was mostly sexual, but nonetheless exactly what I needed at the time. Aaron was enthralled with my openness, confidence, lack of inhibitions, and sexual expertise. I began to notice a trend when I’d go out with my divorced or widowed friends, which was that nine times out of ten, the guys who hit on us were younger – much younger. This was also the case with the men who reached out to me on on-line dating sites.

Here are reasons why I believe some men are attracted to older women.

Older women have self-confidence both mentally and physically. They’ve been through many life passages and have learned how to accentuate their strengths while minimizing weaknesses. Guys don’t have to constantly validate an older girl’s looks or accomplishments; they simply enjoy being around the energy of a self-assured person. This confidence helps in the bedroom too. What’s more fun than being with someone who knows what they like and aren’t afraid to ask for it?

Older women don’t play games. They know the deal going into the relationship and express their concerns from the get-go. When I met my boyfriend, I told him the first night that if he was looking for kids, he was barking up the wrong tree. A Cougar won’t try to manipulate a guy to be her next husband or “forget” to take birth control. Younger guys who want to focus on their careers love the no-nonsense attitude about older women. You’ll never find an older woman ignoring a younger guy’s text just to make him wonder if she’s interested in him. She’s way past those days.

Older women are independent. This means she won’t “need” a guy to take care of her financially or emotionally. Most likely she’ll have a career or money saved. She’ll want to be with the younger man for companionship and sex – not his money. This is liberating to a man who’s just starting to be self-sufficient.

Older women are experienced. Guys want to be educated by a woman who knows her own body and what will turn a man on. Younger men love a Cougar’s uninhibited ability to verbalize her needs in sexually and are eager to accommodate them. Future girlfriends will forever be grateful for the lessons learned.

Older women are nurturing. They’ve been through relationships and realize past mistakes. Older women live in the moment and aren’t looking for future fathers for their children. The relationships can be less demanding and more fun.

The only issue I must warn younger men about is this: Once you’ve been with an older woman, you may become addicted.

In the meantime: Happy Hunting!

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6 Reasons Why Dating In Your 30’s is Awesome

There seems to be a slight stigma attached to dating in your 30’s. Thanks to Bridget Jones, women who are single in their 30’s are sometimes seen as a failure simply because they haven’t been coupled up. Well it’s time to break that bad rep and start looking at all the positive reasons why dating in your 30’s is actually awesome.

1: You bounce back quicker

No one likes to be rejected but when you have been turned down a few times in your 20’s, you develop thick skin. Dating in your 30’s means you understand that you aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s alright. Ageing not only gives us wisdom , but it also gives us a better perspective on ourselves and the dating scene.

2: You know what you don’t want

Whilst we may still be working out what we do want in life and relationships, usually by your 30’s you have an idea of what you DON’T want! Past experiences and relationships help us fine tune the type of person we desire as a partner.  With age, usually comes clarity, and when we start to look for a partner later on in life, we can have a clearer sense of what expectations and standards we should realistically set.

3: You can identify the time wasters

After a few years of practice in your teens and 20’s you can usually start to identify certain character traits in the people you date.  By our 30’s most of us have had a couple of toxic relationships or perhaps have even had our hearts broken a few times.  The type of men from your past will help you better understand the right sort of man you should attract into your present and future.

4: You have more confidence

Simply because you probably have a clearer sense of who you are, what you want and where you are going. You have been through some turmoil and have come out the other side, which makes you stronger and wiser. Most of the time by this age bracket we have established ourselves in our careers, and friendships and understand that our sense of worth doesn’t come from a man.

5: You understand more about yourself and love

After a few battles of the heart we tend to work out more about ourselves. When we are in our 20’s we think we know it all, but it’s not till later down the line we realise we had no idea. Dating in your 30’s means that you have a better understanding of what real love looks like.

6: You have your own purpose and life without a man

Finding love in your 30’s isn’t about needing a man, but rather wanting one that adds to your life in a positive way. We have learnt that we are responsible for our own happiness and that we can survive and thrive without one. Therefore, we take off the impending pressure on a guy or ourselves and learn to just enjoy the ride.

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Is Your Date A Financial Mess?

Wish you could tell if your date is a cash connoisseur or a financial flop? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who wishes they could. Finding your soul mate means searching for someone who has the same values as you, both in and out of the bank account. While a financial mess doesn’t need to be a deal breaker, it’s something you may want to know about the other person sooner rather than later to discover if you’re truly compatible. Might not be first date material, but if they aren’t honest with you about their finances, it makes you wonder what else they might not be telling you about.
If you feel it’s a bit too premature to ask your date to log into their online banking so you can take a peek, here are six other ways to tell if your date has made a mess of their money.

1. They Want To Go On A Walk . . . For Every Date

The idea of a romantic stroll sounds great at first. You can get to know each other better, maybe your hands will brush up against one another, with the sweet smell of romance in the air. You know what else this date idea might smell like? A lack of money. If your date always suggests you go on walks, watch movies in the basement or only go for coffee instead of dinner, they may not have much cash in tow.

2. Date on a Thursday? But Payday is Friday!

Weekday dates can be a casual way to get to know your date without staying out all night. But if your date refuses to go out with you on a Thursday, and suggests the following Friday, it might be a sign that they’ve run out of money before their next payday.

3. They’ve Mastered the ‘Fake Reach’ For the Bill

Come on, you know what I’m talking about. The bill comes to the table, and one second after you reach for the bill, they reach for it too. Even before you finish saying, “Oh no, I’ll get it,” their hand is already back in their lap. Even worse is when the cheque comes and your date is nowhere in sight. People have actually mastered this intentionally-timed bathroom trip. If your date is dining and dashing to the bathroom, it may mean they don’t have the cash to pay or are afraid their credit cards may be declined.

4. Their Phone Rings Off the Hook

Before you jump to conclusions and assume they’re talking to 8 other people, consider that a phone ringing non-stop can be a sign of debts in collections. Collectors are relentless and will call repeatedly if your date owes them money. See an 800-number on call display? Look for me in the background waiving two red flags.
Want to solidify your suspicion? Piles of unopened mail at their house are another hint that they’re neglecting their bills.

5. Their Flashy Lifestyle Doesn’t Match Their Job

Impressed by their big ride, chrome rims and leather interior? How about their great taste in designer clothes? Dig that golden tan? If you’re loving what you see, only to find out your date’s flashy lifestyle doesn’t match their job or income level, consider it a buyer beware. What someone appears to be on the outside is absolutely no reflection of what’s happening inside their bank account. In fact, it can often mean the exact opposite.

6. They’ve Got Tons of Baggage . . . Under Their Eyes

No one wants a date with a ton of baggage, and you definitely don’t want to see baggage right under their eyes. Dark circles are an indication of lack of sleep, and one of the most common reasons people can’t sleep is because of money troubles. Try and catch a glimpse of the inside of their wallet. If you see more than one or two credit cards, odds are that your date has got a money mess on the mind.

But Don’t Stress…

Many people get excited thinking they’ve met their soul mate, and then suddenly their love bubble pops once they realize they’re dating someone who has totally opposite views on money. Money conversations should happen early in a relationship, but remember,  just because someone is struggling with their finances doesn’t mean this should be a deal breaker. There are many causes for financial strain – their hours could have been cut at work, they could have taken time off to help a sick relative, or they could have been devastated financially from a previous relationship. Not everyone struggles with money because they’re irresponsible.

Despite the past, there are many ways to tell your date is trying to get on the right track financially for their future. They may have spoken with a professional, created a money plan for themselves and committed to paying down their debt and living within their means. In fact, they may be so committed to a frugal lifestyle that they’re suggesting coffee dates or have bags under their eyes from working overtime!
Have you ever dated a financial mess? Leave your story below to help others know what to watch for!

Captivate Your Date With 3 Qualities

Finding love online has never been easier in this age of technology and endless options at your fingertips. If you’re looking for real love and a lasting relationship there are three key qualities that men look for in women. Here are three key things that can increase your overall appeal.

Your Perceived Beauty

Men are visual creatures and every man has a different standard as to what they find attractive in a women. If there are two women of equal attractiveness, he’ll be more drawn to choose the woman with the happier, more pleasant personality.

This selection is based on perceived beauty because being beautiful is not just about your looks. To a man, beauty is a combination of looks, behavior and character. His attraction develops and grows based on a combination of her charisma, confidence, and ability to be playful.

Your perceived beauty is also affected by your outlook on life. A positive outlook is one of many factors men look for when selecting a long term partner.  They are drawn to positive women and are more likely to stick around when she is optimistic about life.

A Confident Mindset

Confidence is the number one trait that both men and women find most attractive in each other.

A confident woman knows how to show interest in men. Her focus is on men who treat her well and respect her because she decides who to let in to her life.

One of the biggest pitfalls for single women focused on finding love, is that they become consumed by dating different men and engage in tireless conversations about dating so often, the rest of their passions and goals are put on hold.

To find love you must devote time to it, you have to have a life outside of him.  You’re not waiting for a man in order to lead a happy and fulfilling life. A confident woman makes a man earn his way into her schedule instead of putting him in an empty calendar.

Create the Magnetic Connection

To create rapport and build a connection with a man, get him excited to talk about himself.

Show your interest in him and be present. This means, asking questions about him and being engaged in the conversation to show you are tentative and genuinely interested in listening to what he has to say.

Stay focused on the present moment with him. When you make him feel good, he’ll want to be in your company for the long term.

With these 3 easy methods, every woman can become the most attractive version of themselves in their own unique way.

Candace is giving away a free customized guide here on how to practice becoming a more attractive version of yourself.

Online Dating Tips for the Introvert

Picture this: you’ve spent the night out with your girls, getting turnt at the hottest club in town. As you file out into the street, walking gingerly in your heels, you blow kisses goodbye and hop into a cab… just as someone else climbs in through the other door! It’s awkward for a moment, but you agree to share the ride, and tell stories of your epic night along the way. By the time the ride is over, you’ve swapped phone numbers (maybe even a kiss), and the world is aglow with the potential of a new romance…

Sounds exhausting, right?

If you’re an introvert, a meet-cute like this is just not for you. In fact, you’d probably rather find someone online, sharing long, soul-spilling emails with potential partners like Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. And guess what? That’s okay! In fact, it’s practically the norm: it is believed that one-third of modern marriages got their start on the Web. Online dating is a phenomenon, and for many introverts who are tired (or afraid) of the traditional dating scene, the Internet can be the perfect solution.

But with so many people looking for love online, how will you know who’s right for you? For all it’s good qualities, the Internet can feel scary. But by following just a few tips, you’ll be able to suss out your soulmate from the World Wide Web.

Get Personal With Your Profile

With online dating, even more so than in the world, you have to “put yourself out there.” In a real-world setting, prospective partners can learn about you from your body language, facial expressions, and behavior; here, there is only your profile. So make sure the profile screams “you!”

And we mean the REAL you. Everyone likes “spending time with friends,” “watching the sunset,” and “cuddling by the fire.” Be specific about your interests, and don’t hold anything back. Are you an avid hiker who spends your mornings meditating on mountaintops? Write it down. Do you spend your Saturdays writing fan-fiction about the best friend adventures of Gandalf, Magneto, and Dumbledore? Put it in the profile. Do you breed madagascar hissing roaches? Let the world know!

According to Christie Hartman, Ph.D., many people stick to the basics when building their online profile. They are afraid of “sounding too different or too odd, not realizing that it actually backfires.” But the people you’re looking to connect with are the people who share your interests (or at least think they are interesting). So let your true colors show!

Check For Personality Clues

You want the people you meet online to share your interests. But you also want to make they have what you’re looking for. Pay attention to clues in their profile that reveal the man (or woman) behind the screen.

Do you want a fellow introvert you can cuddle with quietly? Look for someone whose interests line up with the quiet life – reading, movies, etc. Do you want an extrovert to bring you into his active social life? Look for a profile filled with pictures from parties. These little clues will point you towards the person you want to be with!

Try A Specific Site

Remember all those interests we talked about before? The things that make you the unique and amazing person you are? Well, for those of us searching for some who truly understands our likes and dislikes, niche dating sites exist! Whether you are a cat lover or a Dr. Who fanatic, there is a site for you! Many introverts have tremendous passion when it comes to their hobbies, so sites like these can be a good way to meet someone with whom you’ll feel a connection. And besides, even if you don’t find a soulmate, you might end up with a whole bunch of new friends!

Go On A Date!

Yes, yes, this one may seem obvious, but it’s important! After all the time you spent building a profile, searching for matches, and getting past the (horribly awkward) initial small talk via text and email, you deserve a date. Get out of your comfort zone, get face-to-face with your online match, and have fun! Who knows, maybe you’ll be in the lucky one-third of folks who found their soulmate on the screen.