Best and Worst Halloween Costumes For Singles

Halloween is fast approaching and you’re ripping apart your closet to rustle up anything that can be converted into a somewhat recognizable costume. Your friends are doing couples costumes with their significant others and you are rolling to the party solo this year. Fret no more! As the resident dating expert at PlentyOfFish I can guide you to scoring the ultimate Halloween costume with this year’s best and worst costumes for singles.

Worst

Cecil the Lion

You may think this will spark up a conversation, it will, but not the right kind. This controversial topic is a sore spot for most people so it’s best to avoid it altogether. RIP Cecil!

The Donald

Don’t hide behind the mask of Donald Trump. This costume is sure to make more than one appearance at the party and you don’t want to be one in a crowd.

Dad Bod

There is a good reason for the name behind Dad bod. This costume is more likely to repel the ladies than draw them in.

Best

Mad Max & Imperator Furiosa (from Mad Max)

This costume is my number one choice because it’s quick, easy and you can probably find most costume pieces in your own wardrobe. If you have an old sheet laying around, rip it up, make it dirty and you are well on your way to Fury Road.

Third Wheel

I love this costume idea because it is clever and immediately tells everyone you are single and looking. Simply dress in black, and carry a bike wheel. You can stand next to a couple or photo bomb those group shots. People will be curious to know who the third wheel is.

Captain America & Wonder Woman

Any type of superhero can be a great costume for all singles. It is powerful, sexy and highlights the most appealing assets of the male and female body. In past surveys taken by our PlentyOfFish members, 35% of women stated the most attractive male costume is Captain America.

3 Easy Ways To Prioritize Love

“I’ll accept the right man if he comes along, but I’m not willing to put myself out there anymore,” sighed Claire. She wants Mr. Right; she wants passion and love and a guaranteed date every New Year’s Eve for the rest of her life. How long has it been since her last date? Eight years.

Make A Mental Shift

Instead of losing years, shift in moments.

Imagine being advised not to look for work, because actively seeking a job would somehow scare it away; the right career would come along when it was meant to. Envision telling a career seeker that if the job search isn’t fun, they should stop looking and wait for the right job to find them. Crazy, right?

Yet our culture commonly gives analogous bad advice to singles, to the detriment of beautiful Claires everywhere.

Science flatly disagrees. Once you’re out of school and no longer in environments rife with the available, you’ll have far greater odds of success if you make an ongoing effort—just as active job-seekers are more likely to land a good career.

And dating can be fun. But often, it’s work. Just as we’d never tell someone to cease a job search if it wasn’t 100% fun, we shouldn’t tell ourselves that a lack of fun is a good enough reason to stop searching for love.

Plus, the payoff for effort in love is actually greater than the payoff in the job market. It’s a fact: finding and committing to the right mate will make you happier, healthier, longer-lived, richer, and more sexually satisfied than any other living arrangement—or any amount of career success.

Make Your List

Now make a list, dividing it into Must-Haves—your deal-breakers– and Wants—the negotiable stuff you’d like but can compromise on.

Ever go car-shopping—and then notice your chosen model all over town? The dealership probably didn’t sell more that week; you just began noticing what was already on the road. Similarly, this list is your new best friend, absolutely key to prioritizing love. Not only does it make you likelier to notice Mr. Possibles who are already in your life; it helps you avoid getting waylaid by Mr. Wrong and Mr. Almost.

Despite cultural lore that love is all we need, the divorce rate is driven in part by falling in love with people who aren’t a good enough match. But if you stick to your Must-Haves, knowing the deal is broken if even one deal-breaker is present, you will immediately screen for compatibility. You will stop dating bad choices, however sexy, and you will be free to fall with wild abandon for someone who can be your happily-ever-after.

Make It Known

You’ve got your list, and it’s time to share it—with others, and with the Internet.

You wouldn’t be embarrassed to enlist help in a job search, so let others help here. Research shows that in cultures where people allow their trusted others to help them find a mate, their rates of lifelong, happy marriage are higher than in America. Those people who want your happiness will be happy to help; they know people you don’t know, and they will connect you.

Yes, some of your set-ups will suck. That doesn’t matter. Persist.

And share your list with the world. About one-third of people who have married in the past decade met online, and research indicates that they’re happier than couples who met in any other way. Create a profile that capitalizes, in positive and upbeat language, on what you’re seeking. Put it out there.

I don’t know if Claire has shifted her priorities, but Bella did. Despite Stage 4 cancer at the time of her search, she met her Mr. Right~spending her last eight years with a man she adored, who adored her right back.

None of us truly has forever. But however much of forever we have, if love is what you want, it’s time to make it a priority.

-Dr. Duana Welch is the author of Love Factually, the first book that uses science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep love.  You can learn more about her and her book and get a free sample here.

Going Through A Breakup? This Will Help You!

Breakups are never easy no matter who initiated it and how it ended. Breakups can be tragic, heart wrenching or just straight up awkward as hell. This person who overtime has become your best friend, is now stripped from your life and you are left feeling gutted, contemplative and wanting to reach for that pint of cookie dough ice cream you’ve saved for this perfect moment of self pity.

If you are reading this and find yourself ugly face crying, popping your head in your freezer or curled in fetal position listening to Sinead O’Connor’s, “Nothing Compares To You,” stop right now and have yourself a little R&R this weekend with my top 5 romantic comedies that will get you through your epic charade of squalor and despair.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

I permit you one day to wallow like Peter. But that is it! You and Peter can cry, laugh and recite Lord Of The Rings together with this hilarious uplifting flick.

forgetting-sarah-marshall-you-shall-not-pass

The Wedding Singer

Who else misses the classic Adam Sandler flick!? I know I do, and The Wedding Singer never gets old. Love stinks when you are with the wrong person but when its right, you will want to grow old together!

anigif_enhanced-6742-1393514631-4

There’s Something About Mary

This hilarious Farrelly brother’s movie will no doubt get you laughing hysterically as Ted attempts to track down his high school sweetheart, Mary, in hopes of nailing down a date!

4-Theres-Something-About-Mary

Magic Mike XXL

Yes I know this isn’t a “romantic comedy” per se, but I strongly suggest all my single ladies watch it. Who cares about plot when you have 5 half naked men dancing to “Pony.”

magic-mike-dance-gifs

Sixteen Candles

If you’re a hopeless romantic, this John Hughes’ classic will pull at every heart string and give you hope that your Jake is right around the corner waiting for you, maybe not next to a red Porsche, but he is out there!

tumblr_mx3bbsQUQh1rvkehno1_250

First Impressions Matter: Here’s How To Nail Them

We all know that a great first impression may land you the job but what about a second date? I can not stress enough how important the first seven seconds of any encounter is whether it be online, face to face or the dreaded parent introduction. This is your time to shine; that moment where you can burst through the doors knowing full well you aced the test. It is rare that you will ever get a second chance to make a great first impression. If you have ever been one to fumble or fall flat on the initial “hello,” please do yourself a favor and read the following.

How to make a great first impression….

ONLINE

  • A tasteful profile picture. Keep your shirt on and smile, this is not a mug shot.
  • Proof read your first message three times over, like your grade school teacher is perched on your shoulder. And for the love of god never include the word f*ck.
  • Send a thoughtful first message in which you reference back to your match’s profile. This will show that you have taken the time to actually read what they had to say.

FACE TO FACE INTERACTION

  • Be attentive and on time! Late on a first date is the epitome of saying “I really don’t respect your time or care to be on this date.”
  • Wear your most fashion forward outfit. Change out of the stained sweatpants that you just fiercely sweated in at the gym.
  • Subtleties in your body language. No one wants a Touchy Tom or Salacious Sally.

MEET THE PARENTS

  • Firm handshake and look them in the eye, just like you did in that job interview. You’re on your way to getting the stamp of approval.
  • Make yourself useful and always offer to help where you can. If you are tall and strong,  grab the salad bowl off the highest shelf. You have officially won over mom.
  • Every parent wants you to love their daughter or son as much as they do. Don’t be Mr. Roboto. It’s okay to show your love and affection, but make sure these are small gestures. No PDA I repeat No PDA.

How to Write a Great First Message to Your Online Crush

 

Writing a great first message to your online crush is as crucial as choosing your best online dating profile photo. If you want to make a great first impression to your online crush, you must follow my three essential F rules to online dating. When you are online dating looking to get any man’s attention, you want to be FUN, FEMININE and FLIRTY!

Let’s explore how we can focus on the essential F’s in creating a great first message online!

Fun or Funny

What guy doesn’t like a sense of humour? Guys dig women who can make them laugh, and more importantly who can laugh at their jokes! Having a compatible sense of humour is a huge plus and turn on for a man. Perhaps you have a dry sense of humour. You may be sarcastic, you may be silly or you may like your slap stick humour. An important element to a great first message is saying anything that will make him smile, chuckle and if you can do it, get him to laugh out loud – like for real! LOL It’s not hard to to be funny if you do have a natural funny bone. If you struggle with humour you can always search for a great funny joke online to share with him. Here’s a joke I found for someone who is NOT into fitness.

“Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day, I will meet someone who will hate them with me.” I would end it with, what are your thoughts on this? Care to join me?

Feminine

O.K ladies, this piece of advice may be challenging for some of you because there are a lot of you women who play the Alpha role and boss lady in real life. Most guys don’t want to date a bitchy, demanding, over bearing know-it-all. You know the type? The kind of woman who doesn’t NEED a man? The kind of woman who has it all covered, who can hold her own door and pay her own bills. If you come off as someone in your first message as the type who talks all about herself and how great you are, it leaves no opportunity for the man to be the hunter. You’ve heard that men like a challenge right? They don’t want competition. If you want to write a great first message you want to showcase your softer, feminine, gentle and caring side. It doesn’t mean you appear fragile and helpless, it means that you are certainly leaning more towards your “girly” traits. A great way to do that is to write something that you are really impressed by. You can also ask him a question about his work, and his hobbies or indicate that you’ve always wanted a man who was good with his hands… Essentially you are showing him that you are impressed by him and that you could use his help in some way. The damsel in distress move will always bring out the hidden hero in a guy.

Flirty

Ladies, men love it when you give them positive cues of interest and when you can open the door for flirty dialogue. Being flirty doesn’t mean that you are easy or overtly sexual. Being flirty does suggest a playful intention of sexual interest and the key is to remain feminine and classy. Now, if you are the type who is more liberal and are open to sexual dialogue early then go for it. After all, you should be clear on your dating goals and attract men who are on the same page as you. A simple key to being flirty is to complement his physical appearance or anything on his profile that turned you on, something that caught your attention. Being playful allows him to play back and begin the process of modern day courtship.

The REAL Reasons Why You’re Attracting the Wrong People

Let’s be real… Dating isn’t easy. Have you ever experienced that cycle of constantly attracting the wrong people in your life? People who don’t fit what you’re actually looking for… people who don’t actually respect you or have a genuine interest in who you are? We all do it. We all experience cycling through the wrong people, settling for less than we want because we begin to believe that this desired partner is somewhat of a unicorn and impossible to obtain. We give up. We play the ‘victim’ role and assume that the world is against us and sending us all these horribly mismatched partners. But that is so far from the truth…

Here are the REAL reasons why you’re attracting the wrong people:

You Don’t Know Your Worth

How can you expect others to treat you well if you don’t even recognize or acknowledge your own worth? You have to dive into a relationship with self prior to a relationship with someone else. Know your worth. Understand your true value. The more grounded you are in your self-worth, the more rooted you’ll be in confidence.
If you go into relationships with little understand of your self-worth, you have a larger chance of being mistreated. We allow people to treat us like crap when we believe that’s what we’re worthy of receiving. If you don’t know your true worth, you’ll settle for far less than you deserve, and attracting the wrong people.
When you truly value your worth, you’ll stop settling for less. People will treat you better because you’ll be treating yourself better. You’ll have a clearer picture of what you’d like your relationships to look and feel like.

Know your worth prior to stepping into relationships with other people. This will result in attracting people who will respect you, value you, and cherish you for who you truly are.

You’re Unclear On What You Want/Need in A Relationship

If you’re unclear on what you want and need in a relationship, you’ll attract an assortment of people who aren’t right for you. Create a list of everything you desire in a relationship. Then, split that list up into ‘wants’ and ‘needs’. The thought of needing things in a relationship may turn you off but let’s just be honest… we ALL have needs! Recognize those needs and honor them.
If you truly want to attract the right people in your life, you need to be crystal clear on what you want and need. This helps refine the search, but it also helps with attracting the right energy because you’ll be emitting this exact type of energy. When you’re clear on your wants and needs, it will become easier for you to say ‘no’ to the ones who don’t fit. Why waste time with the wrong types when you can spend that time attracting the right types?

You’re Unclear On What You Have to Offer in A Relationship

What do you have to offer in a relationship? What are you bringing to the table? This is so important because the more you recognize your presence and place in a relationship, the more confident you will become as a partner in a relationship.
We all have gifts to share. We all have something to offer. And if you’re stuck trying to figure out what that something is, head back up to reason #1 – Self-Worth. When you recognize your true worth, you’re recognizing your true value. Break it down—what do you bring in a relationship? Are you a good listener? A great supporter? An awesome cook? A fabulous lover? What gifts do you have to share within your relationships? Get clear on that, and you’ll gain the confidence you need to attract people of your calibre.

It’s time for you to break the pattern of attracting the wrong people. Take a step back, have that relationship with self first. Know your worth so you can stop settling for less. Get crystal clear on your needs and wants in a relationship as well as what you have to offer in relationships, and this will ultimately lead to you attracting better people.

You’re not being punished. Life isn’t unfair. You’re just putting out the wrong type of energy. Shift that energy so you can begin attracting the right people in your life.

Ruby Fremon is a Transformational Life Coach, Energy Healer, and Self-Love Advocate. She helps women boost their self-worth and put an end to self-destructive behaviors so they can experience more happiness, gain confidence, and attract love. Ruby combines her love for the metaphysical with her passion for coaching. Crystals, Tarot, and channeling messages are all part of what makes her life-changing coaching programs unique.
Ready to create a life you love? Download Ruby‘s FREE guide “6 Steps to Manifesting Your Dreams” here: www.iamru.by/manifest-your-dreams

Summer Flings That Went Down In Flames

 

When I think of a summer fling, I envision Chris Hemsworth and I running Baywatch-style down the beach, wind in hair, as he swiftly picks me up with his bulging bicep. We share a giggle and all of a sudden we’re on horseback riding into the Australian sunset. We gaze longingly into one another’s eyes, knowing the blissful two months we shared were coming to an end.

A summer fling seems like a grand idea until it fizzles out like a faulty firework. PlentyOfFish posed this question, “Have You Ever Had A Summer Fling Go Down In Flames” and we received these stories of kindling romance that turned quickly into ash.

  • Summer lovin had me a blast, summer lovin happened so fast…met a boy crazy for me…But seriously he was nuts. A couple of summers ago I met a cute 28 year old man, Chris, who lived right in my neighborhood, talk about convenient.  Things were going really well between us and there was a strong attraction. One day he stopped calling and I decided to wait to hear from him. A few days later, I receive a message from his ex, they had reconciled. Two months later, unexpectedly, Chris shows up at my door expressing he broke up with his girlfriend yet again. It’s a never ending saga for them that I decided to stay out of.

Step away from the ex baggage!

The next story is about “Daring Dan” who simply just lacked etiquette.

  • “Dan was after me but I just wanted a fun fling because it was the summer after all! I’d broken up with my then boyfriend, and was leaving to dorm at college in 2 months. After a couple hookups, Dan dared to ask me if I’d marry his brother?! YES his brother, so that he could come to USA. I couldn’t even look at him the same way afterward, he must have thought he was really something in bed, and trust me, he wasn’t…”

At least Dan was a family man?

  • “Yes, I did have a summer romance” He, lets call him Mark, was lovely. We had a memorable holiday romance for a few weeks. Mark was avoiding work and travelling around Australia, with his dog in a camper trailer and we did some exploring together.  Fast forward. I return home and Mark is at my front door asking to move in with me as I support him and his furry friend. Yikes. Last I heard, the camper trailer self destructed and he ran out of money. Not sure where he is now.”

So, dear singles, before deciding to dip your toes into a new summer romance; set expectations and know what you want because the fling may turn into a full blown homeless stage 5 clinger.

5 Telling Trips To Take With A New Partner

Going on a trip with a new partner can be a great way to get to know them better. You’re both out of normal context, maybe out of your comfort zone a bit, and you’re having to interact in a new way. Here are 5 trips you can take with a new partner to see if he’ll be able to go the distance:

1) Camping

See what he really looks like after sitting in the dirt for two days – that’s what it boils down to. Almost no one looks their best when they’re out in the bush without showers or mirrors. Now you can see what he really looks like without creature comforts and prep time. Is someone unhappy with the idea of not being able to do his hair, or conversely, way too excited about not having to brush his teeth? That could be a bad sign. Does he somehow manage to look even hotter in a flannel with the smell of campfire in his hair, though? Hold on to him!

2) Weekend getaway where you have to cooperate to do physical activity

Whoever said riding a tandem bike is a fun time was full of garbage. It looks so picturesque to see two tourists riding along, sweetly peddling together around the sites. In reality, they’re about two seconds away from breaking off the bike’s handlebars and having an American Gladiator-style battle to the death in front of the Santa Monica Pier. Activities or trips that require cooperation to do an activity are the fastest way to tell how compatible you are with someone. Can’t cooperate long enough to paddle a canoe together? Might be time to rethink things.

3) Travelling to a developing country

Maybe not something you’d undertake in a brand new relationship, but traveling to a country where you have to rough it a bit will tell you a lot about a person. Being in a situation where you might not be completely comfortable because neither of you speak the language, your safety isn’t guaranteed, or your accommodation isn’t fancy can be very telling about someone’s character. Is he grossed out by unfamiliar food in Bali? Scared to ride a chicken bus in Costa Rica? Uncomfortable bartering for a taxi in Mexico City? Traveling to these kinds of places requires a sense of adventure and a little bit of street smarts. If those things matter to you, putting yourselves in a situation like that is a good litmus test to see if you’re compatible in the long run.

4) A weekend visiting his family

How someone acts around their family may be very different from how they interact with friends and the rest of their social circle. Maybe he refuses to help with the dishes and secretly resents his brother, or maybe he loves fishing with his step sister and taking his adopted grandma to get her hair done? Either way, spending a good chunk of time together with his family will give you some insight into what he’s really like. Plus you get to hear all of the family drama that only comes out after a couple of glasses of wine!

5) Anywhere when it’s mostly just your friends that are going

No one likes to babysit their boyfriend who is being a grumpy cat because he doesn’t have a bro to talk to. Dating someone who gets along with your friends and is comfortable in new social situations is top notch in my books. Even if it might not be as fun for him as a snowboarding trip with his buddies, taking the time to do something or go on a trip that’s important to you, (hello, weekend your best friend’s cabin!), shows that you’re a priority to him. This means you’ll have to reciprocate though!

PlentyOfPersonality Study

A cross-section of the interests, hobbies and pastimes of singles across America

Helping shed light on the pursuits of singles across America, the PlenyOfPersonality Study has identified the top interests, hobbies and pastimes of singles in 11 major markets across the country, providing a better understanding of singles and their “types”.

Using an interest-based algorithm developed by PlentyOfFish’s Senior Data Scientist, the study examined over 10 million heterosexual singles over the age of 21 years old. To compile the data, the Research Team computed top interests appearing on users profiles into 20 personality archetypes, ranking each interest from high to low based on the frequency they appeared. The 20 archetypes of PlentyOfPersonality are each comprised of a unique subset of interests and hobbies specific to the group.

Personality Archetypes + Top Corresponding Interests

Artist – art, write, draw, paint, poetry, design, fashion

Bar Game Buff – play, bowl, movie, pool, shoot

Cultured Urbanite – travel, wine, dine, concert, explore, museum

Curious George – people, laugh, learn, interest, meet, smile, adventure, joke

Eternal Optimist – love, life, enjoy, open, happiness

Family First – family, friend, time, hang, kid

Fast and Furious – fast, classic, tattoo, ring, auto

Happy-Go Lucky – people, laugh, learn, interest, meet, smile, adventure

Health Buff  – yoga, cook, lift, healthy, exercise

Intellectual – history, nature, science, politics, culture, world

Live Event Fan – concert, comedy, show, festival

Mainly Mainstream – movie, sport, music, relax, cook, work

Pinteresters – dance, shop, craft, cook, puzzle

Romantic – beach, walk, cuddle, drive, quiet

Salt of the Earth  – work, friend, sports, family, music

Social Butterfly – sport, active, travel, event, music

Sports Fanatic  football, basketball, baseball, hockey, UFC

Weekend Warrior – fun, drink, money, party, lol, chill, date

Well-Rounded – exercise, theatre, read, movies, foodie, vacation

Outdoor Adventurer  – mountain, scuba, climb, boat, swim

The following provides a breakdown of the top single silos across the country:

Boston

Single women in Beantown epitomize the city’s scholastic pedigree with most falling into the Cultured Urbanite and Pinterester categories, while men are more aligned with the Boston’s historic roots, identifying as Weekend Warriors.

Boston

 

Chicago

Finding love in the Windy City may be easier said than done with the majority of men spending their time partying and watching sports, while single women prefer the finer things in life – however one thing Chicago singles can agree on is good food.

Chicago

Detroit

No longer defined by recession, the percentage of Eternal Optimists is highest in Detroit, with nearly a quarter of singles landing in this category. The majority of Detroiters, however like to
blow off steam outside of 9-5 and are best categorized as Weekend Warriors.

Detroit

Houston

With craft giant Michael’s headquartered in Texas, it’s no surprise that the great number of women Pinteresters are found in Huston. However, when the ladies are getting their craft on, men in this city are focused on socializing, with the greatest number considered Weekend Warriors.

 

Houston

Jacksonville

The only city in the study home to Romantics, 12% of single women in Jacksonville are enamoured by long walks on the beach and cuddling, which may make things tricky when finding a match, since most men in the city have more macho tendencies.

Jacksonville

LA

Maintaining their position as the entertainment capital of the world, singles in LA love to party, have fun and make money – with most singles classified as Weekend Warriors. Also known as the land of the aspiring artist, a large percentage of singles fall into the Artist archetype, while close to year-round sunshine brings out the Eternal Optimist in a significant number. Both singlemen and women in LA share a passion for enjoying life and having a good time.

LA

NYC

NYC singles may be a little sunnier than their all-black-wearing, sunglasses on, head down stereotype suggests. The majority are split between Eternal Optimists and Weekend Warriors. A larger percentage of single women compared to single men may however carry the brooding artist persona – with 18% and 15% identifying as Pinteresters and Artists respectively.

NYC

Phoenix

Singles in Phoenix are going on some very positive dates given Eternal Optimist ranks in the top
three Singles Silo for both men and women

Phoenix

San Fran

Unlike their Southern California counterparts, singles in San Francisco bond over Monet and Mozart rather than Moet and EDM with most identified as Artists and Intellectuals. 14% of both single men and women also consider yoga and lifting among their top interests.

San Francisco

Seattle

With great coffee, attractions, and activity, the most common archetype among singles in Seattle are Artists, Intellectuals, and Curious George. Additionally, single men and women here compliment each other well, since guys have an added streak of Outdoor Adventure, while single
ladies are more concerned with their health.

Seattle

Washington

It’s not surprising that dates in Washington, DC are knowledgeable affairs with 13% of both men and women in town being Intellectuals.

Washington DC

 

 

Why You Should Trade Your Summer Fling For A Summer Of You

Summertime…

The season of beach parties, bikinis, and driving with the top down. It represents a time where we can let loose and have fun. Summer is truly a season for happiness and for some that happiness comes in the form of summer flings.

I see you… The one’s who use summertime as an excuse for unedited fun. The one’s who throw all relationship rules out the door in exchange for single nights of uninhibited glory. I see you, and I challenge you. That’s right, this post is for you. I’m challenging you to trade in your summer flings for the ‘Summer of You’.

What exactly is the ‘Summer of You’? It’s a time for you to just be you, minus the influence of new and temporary partners. It’s is all about honoring your needs and your growth. The ‘Summer of You’ is about celebrating you. Intrigued? Awesome. Here’s what I challenge you to do this summer:

Prioritize your self-care.

This is the perfect season for you to focus on you. What do you need to experience more happiness in your life? What could you do to show yourself more love? And no, the answer is NOT a fling or one-night-stand. Go deeper. What is it that you are truly seeking? Book yourself in for regular massages, treat yourself to pedicures and fresh haircuts, get lost in books, go for long walks, take a new yoga class, run outdoors… Commit to one act of self-care everyday this summer and see how that changes your life!

Nurture your friendships.

Have you ever had those friends who seem to fall off the face of the planet when they’re in relationships only to return to Earth when that relationship falls apart? Don’t be that friend. Take time this summer to truly nurture your friendships. Create a stronger bond through trips, adventures, and regular hang-time. Use this season to connect to your friends in a way that you’ve never connected before. After all, these are the people who are there for you even after relationships end.

Reexamine what you want.

Do you have a tendency to lean towards the idea of a one-night-stand or fling over a real relationship? Perhaps you find yourself caught in a cycle of crappy relationships? Stop. It’s time for you to reexamine what you truly want when it comes to relationships. You may think you know what you want, but if you’re not getting it, I can promise you that you aren’t clear enough on what that is.

Create something.

Wait what? Am I seriously asking you to work this summer? YES! But not on just anything… I want you to create something for you! Perhaps it’s something that you’ve been thinking of doing for a while but haven’t found the time to do it. Or perhaps it’s something that you really want to create but are scared to create it. Whatever it is… do it! Indulge in a new hobby, work on a new project, craft a new business plan… Create something that brings you happiness. Trust me, this is far more fulfilling than a fling.

Reset.

Relax. Chill out. Go zen. Use the summer to slow things down and expand time. In our busy world it’s so important to make an effort to slow down so we can reset and prepare for new adventures in our lives. Imagine not having to focus so hard on dating… you’d have so much more time to do other things! So take a deep breath and enter this summer with a more relaxed vibe.

Summertime isn’t just for flings. And let’s be honest… flings don’t offer you anything real in regards to relationships. Instead, I challenge you to take a step back, and indulge in a ‘Summer of You’.