The 9 Worst Ways To Break Up

As the New Year rolls around and we make dramatic changes in our lives, many re-evaluate their relationships and decide to end them. It’s never easy and as Neil Sedaka wrote, “Breaking up is hard to do,” however…there are really bad ways in which to let go. The best way to break up is obviously to be honest and compassionate.

Here are some of the worst ways to break up with someone:

Texting

This is a chicken’s way out. A discussion is warranted, even if it’s a brief phone conversation. See #2.

The Phone Call

Better than texting, but still not as good as face to face. A phone conversation isn’t that personal, especially if you’ve been together for any length of time. Ask yourself, do you owe it to the other person to look him/her in the eye and communicate exactly what you’re feeling? Most of the time the answer is: YES.

Ghosting

The ultimate “f**k you” is “ghosting”, and shockingly 80% of millennials have been ghosted, according to PlentyOfFish data! The Urban Dictionary defines it as “the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating but no longer wishes to date.” This leaves the ghosted person flapping in the wind and if you ever see him/her again, you better run.

Moving Out

Having your partner come home to an empty house not knowing where you went is just straight up wrong.

Cheating

Being caught in the act or hearing about it from others fosters a lot of negative Karma. As we all know, Karma’s a bitch, so think before you act out of character. If you want to be with other people, tell your significant other right away. If it means the demise of your relationship, so be it. Sounds easy? It isn’t, but it’s the right thing to do.

It’s not you, it’s me!

Oh just stop it! Come on, no one believes that. Yes, the root of your dissatisfaction may come from you; however, you need to explain that in more than 5 words. Pull the Band-Aid off and tell the truth!

Lying

Lying. My mother always told me, “Go with the truth”, and it has served me well. If you don’t have the same feelings any longer and want to break it off, don’t make up some phony excuse, just to get out of telling the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts, but in the long run, it’s the best way to do it.

Instigating a fight

This would fall under the heading, “passive aggressive behavior”, which is not a mature way of handling any situation. Starting a fight in hopes the other person will take the hint and break up with you, is immature. Take the high road and engage in an honest conversation. There is no right time to bring up the breakup talk, so stop waiting on the next fight to end things.

Telling other people first

Don’t tell your friends or even worse, change your Facebook status to “single”, prior to telling the soon to be Ex. If you want to end it, give the person first hand knowledge. No one wants to learn of their breakup through 6 degrees of separation!

 

As Marilyn Monroe stated, “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” Breakups are part of life, but doing them in the right way will never fail you. Want to hear more discussion on sex and relationships? Check out my YouTube channel: KarenLee Poter and Podcast: Sex Talk With My Mom.

 

Why Older Women May Be Attracting Younger Men

Unless you’ve been on a remote island for the past ten years, you’ve probably heard the term “Cougar.” It’s a provocative term that conjures up an image of a hot, sexy, martini-holding older woman typically throwing herself on an innocent younger man. As a self-proclaimed Cougar and host of the Internet channel: The KarenLee Poter Show, about dating and sex, I’d like to share the truth as to why Cougars are the prey rather than the predators.

A little personal background: I became a widow several years back, and found myself thrown into the single’s world. After being married for 24 years, I was ill prepared for this new life. The first time I heard the word in reference to me, was in a restaurant in New Haven, Connecticut. I was sitting at the bar when a group of younger guys approached me. One brave soul named Aaron asked, “Are you a Cougar, my friends think you are?”

This was the beginning of a six-month long distance relationship, which admittedly was mostly sexual, but nonetheless exactly what I needed at the time. Aaron was enthralled with my openness, confidence, lack of inhibitions, and sexual expertise. I began to notice a trend when I’d go out with my divorced or widowed friends, which was that nine times out of ten, the guys who hit on us were younger – much younger. This was also the case with the men who reached out to me on on-line dating sites.

Here are reasons why I believe some men are attracted to older women.

Older women have self-confidence both mentally and physically. They’ve been through many life passages and have learned how to accentuate their strengths while minimizing weaknesses. Guys don’t have to constantly validate an older girl’s looks or accomplishments; they simply enjoy being around the energy of a self-assured person. This confidence helps in the bedroom too. What’s more fun than being with someone who knows what they like and aren’t afraid to ask for it?

Older women don’t play games. They know the deal going into the relationship and express their concerns from the get-go. When I met my boyfriend, I told him the first night that if he was looking for kids, he was barking up the wrong tree. A Cougar won’t try to manipulate a guy to be her next husband or “forget” to take birth control. Younger guys who want to focus on their careers love the no-nonsense attitude about older women. You’ll never find an older woman ignoring a younger guy’s text just to make him wonder if she’s interested in him. She’s way past those days.

Older women are independent. This means she won’t “need” a guy to take care of her financially or emotionally. Most likely she’ll have a career or money saved. She’ll want to be with the younger man for companionship and sex – not his money. This is liberating to a man who’s just starting to be self-sufficient.

Older women are experienced. Guys want to be educated by a woman who knows her own body and what will turn a man on. Younger men love a Cougar’s uninhibited ability to verbalize her needs in sexually and are eager to accommodate them. Future girlfriends will forever be grateful for the lessons learned.

Older women are nurturing. They’ve been through relationships and realize past mistakes. Older women live in the moment and aren’t looking for future fathers for their children. The relationships can be less demanding and more fun.

The only issue I must warn younger men about is this: Once you’ve been with an older woman, you may become addicted.

In the meantime: Happy Hunting!

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