Study: Single Mothers Find Partners Faster

With Mothers Day coming up this Sunday (May 10 – mark your calendars!), we wanted to learn more about some special women that are worth celebrating every day of the year: single moms!

We surveyed our database of single mothers on PlentyOfFish – a whopping 44% of our female users – for more information on their approach to love, how they use online dating, and what they’re looking for in their perfect match.

Some interesting facts about PlentyOfFish’s strong, savvy, and successful single mothers:

1. Eyes on the prize. Single moms are signing up in search of results – and getting them. 43% of survey respondents said they started dating online after hearing success stories. And, according to PlentyOfFish’s study, single moms find a partner 10% faster than the average user. Mothers Day graph1

2. Kids come first. It comes as no surprise that kids are these moms’ top priority. In fact, 63% of moms said they’d consider their child’s disapproval of a potential partner as a major red flag. Mothers Day graph3

3. Motherhood = full time job. Being a mom is no easy task. Between kids, work, and having a social life, single moms have their hands full. As such, single mothers report using online dating whenever they can spare a second of their precious time – whether that’s first thing in the morning, during the day while their children are at work, or once they put their kids to bed.Mothers Day graph2

4. Ms. Independent. Despite being focused on their kids, single moms should not be mistaken for weaklings. The top two most common misconceptions about single moms as reported by our respondents: 1. She’s just looking for a father figure for her kids 2. She’s a damsel in distress who needs to be saved.Mothers Day graph4

5. Birds of a feather. Like many online daters, single mothers are looking for partners they can relate to. Accordingly, they are 3.4 times more likely to date a single father than childless women are. In contrast, single moms are half as likely to date childless men as women with no children are.

6. Howdy, partner. In their love lives, single moms value partnership above all. Over 56% of those surveyed listed ‘partnership’ as what they were looking for in a match. ‘Romance’ and ‘fun’ came in second and third place respectively, with ‘financial support’ ranking the lowest.Mothers Day graph5

Do you have #PlentyOfLove4Mom? We’re holding a contest dedicated to the all the amazing mothers out there. Show some appreciation for your mom and you could win $500. For all the info:

#PlentyOfLove4Mom: Share Your Love for Mom, Win $500!

Love is always in the air here at PlentyOfFish headquarters, but this time it’s for our amazing moms. With Mother’s Day less than 2 weeks away, we’re asking you to share the love–with a photo of your mom and you–and in return we’ll give you a chance at winning a $500 Mother’s Day giveaway. Who knows, this may even make up for that year you forgot Mother’s Day…

What is #PlentyOfLove4Mom? It’s a way for you to share just how alike you and your mom really are, and in doing so, you’ll enter to win one of two $500 Mother’s Day Giveaway. Hilarious, inspiring, loving, fun, and even kooky photos are all welcome. That’s right, starting April 30th at 2pm PST a tweet or ‘gram could win you $500 for you and mom. Here’s how:

1. Follow PlentyOfFish on Twitter (@PlentyOfFish) or Instagram (PlentyOfFish_Official).

2. Share a photo of you and your mom on Twitter and/or Instagram. Hilarious, inspiring, loving, fun, and even kooky photos are all welcome. Sharing your photo on both Twitter and Instagram will get you two entries into the contest.

3. Use the hashtag #PlentyOfLove4Mom so we can track your post.

Contest closes on May 8th 2015 at 3pm. We will choose 2 winners (TWO chances of wining!) who will go home with a $500 Mother’s Day Giveaway.

Good luck!






See full rules here:

#PlentyOfLove4Mom Mother’s Day Giveaway: TERMS AND CONDITIONS



  1. Introduction: Plentyoffish Media Inc. (“Sponsor”) is offering the #PlentyOfLove4Mom Mother’s Day Giveaway (“Giveaway”).
  2. Eligibility: The Giveaway is open to individuals who are legal residents of the Giveaway Territory and who each are not previous winners of a Plentyoffish giveaway or contest. Each participant agrees to abide fully by these Terms & Conditions. Employees of Sponsor and its affiliates, advertising and promotion agencies, and any business or entity involved in the development, production, implementation, administration or fulfillment of this Giveaway, and each of their immediate families (defined as current spouse, parents, children, siblings and their respective spouses) and individuals (whether related or not) living in the same household as the foregoing parties are ineligible.  The Giveaway is subject to all applicable federal, state, provincial and local laws and regulations.  By participating, you agree to be bound by these Terms & Conditions and to accept the decisions of Sponsor as final in all matters relating to this Giveaway.
  3. Giveaway Period: The Giveaway begins 2:00PM Pacific Time (PT) on April 30, 2015, and ends at 3:00 PM PT on May 7, 2015 (the “Giveaway Period”).
  4. How to Enter: To enter the Giveaway, during the Giveaway Period, follow @PlentyOfFish on Twitter or @PlentyOfFish_Official on Instagram, and then tweet @PlentyOfFish on Twitter or mention @PlentyOfFish_Official on Instagram with a picture of you and your mom/mother figure using the hashtag #PlentyOfLove4Mom for a chance to win one (1) of two (2) Mother’s Day package for two. Limit one (1) submission per person/Twitter username and one (1) submission per Instagram username.  Proof of sending will not be considered proof of receipt.  Any use of robotic, automatic, programmed or similar entry methods will void all such entries by such methods.
  5. Content: The tweets on Twitter and mentions on Instagram must not contain (as determined by Sponsor in its sole discretion) any content that:
  • Is sexually explicit or suggestive; unnecessarily violent or derogatory of any ethnic, racial, gender, religious, professional, sexual orientation or age group; profane or pornographic; contains nudity;
  • Promotes alcohol, illegal drugs, tobacco, firearms/weapons (or the use of any of the foregoing); promotes any activities that may appear unsafe or dangerous;
  • Is obscene or offensive; endorses any form of hate or hate group;
  • Defames, misrepresents or contains disparaging remarks about Sponsor, its members, or its products or services or other people, products or companies;
  • Contains trademarks, logos or trade dress (such as distinctive packaging or phraseology) owned by any entity;
  • Contains copyrighted materials owned by any entity (including photographs and other works of art or images);
  • Advertises or promotes any brand or product of any kind other than Sponsor;
  • Contains any personal identification, such as personal names, street or email addresses, or phone numbers;
  • Violates or encourages the violation of any law, rule or regulation in any jurisdiction where entry is created;
  • Contains materials embodying the names, likenesses or other indicia identifying any third party, including, without limitation, celebrities and/or other public or private figures, living or dead;
  • Promotes any particular political party, agenda or message; and/or
  • Communicates messages or images inconsistent with the positive image and/or goodwill to which Sponsor wishes to associate.

All decisions regarding the appropriateness of the content of any entry shall be at Sponsor’s sole discretion.

  1. Drawing: At the close of the Giveaway Period, two (2) winners (each, a “Winner”) will be determined by a random drawing from among all eligible entries received. Sponsor’s decision is final and binding in all matters relating to the Giveaway. Odds of winning depend on the actual number of eligible entries received. Potential winners will be notified by direct message via the Twitter handle or the Instagram username they use for entry. If a potential winner is unreachable for 24 hours after the first attempt to contact such winner or is unable to attend, Sponsor may award the Prize to an alternate entrant.  This Giveaway is in no way Sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with, Facebook, Inc, Twitter, Inc., or Instagram.
  2. Prize: Each Winner will receive a Mother’s Day package for two consisting of a $500 pre-paid credits at a merchant local to the Winner to celebrate Mother’s Day with their mom/mother figure. Sponsor will not be responsible for any loss, liability or damage arising out of any Winner’s acceptance or use of any Prize. Prizes are non-transferable. Winners will not receive the difference between actual and approximate retail value. No cash, alternative prize or other substitution is permitted except by Sponsor in the event of Prize unavailability. All federal, state, provincial and/or local taxes, fees and surcharges on any Prize, and all other expenses and costs, not expressly listed above, including but not limited to, ground transportation, meals, incidental expenses and gratuities, are the responsibility of the Winners. No refunds or credit for changes are allowed.
  3. Each Winner will be solely responsible for the reporting and payment of any and all Federal, provincial, state or local taxes, sales taxes, surcharges, service charges, registration, licensing, processing, insurance premiums, and handling fees, and all other costs incurred in claiming, redeeming, receiving or possessing the Prize. Sponsor accepts no responsibility for any tax implications that may arise from Prize winnings.  Each Winner will and hereby do hold Sponsor harmless from liability for their failure to timely report and/or pay any taxes.
  4. Conditions: Sponsor is not responsible for lost, late, or unintelligible entries, lost connections, miscommunications, failed transmissions, other technical difficulties or failures. If, in Sponsor’s opinion, there is any suspected or actual evidence of electronic or non-electronic tampering with any portion of the Giveaway, or if technical difficulties compromise the integrity of the Giveaway, Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to void any entries at issue (including disqualifying any individual who tampers with the entry process), and to cancel, terminate, modify or suspend the Giveaway, in whole or in part, at any time without notice. In the event of such cancellation, Sponsor reserves the right to award prizes in a random drawing from all eligible entries received before the time of cancellation.  By entering, participants release and hold harmless Sponsor and its promotional partners, and their subsidiaries, affiliates, directors, officers, employees and agents, from any liability for any injuries, loss or damage of any kind arising from or in connection with the Giveaway or receipt or use and/or misuse of any prize.  Entrants agree to indemnify Sponsor and its subsidiaries, affiliates, directors, officers, employees and agents from and against any and all claims and liabilities arising out of or in connection with this Giveaway.  By entering this Giveaway you agree to the use and publishing of your name, photo, opinions, biographical information, state or province of residence, likeness and entry for promotional purposes, without payment or compensation to you (except where prohibited by law).
  5. Governing Law: This Giveaway shall be governed by and interpreted under the laws of the Province of British Columbia, Canada without regard to its conflicts of laws provisions.
  6. Sponsor: The Sponsor of this Sweepstake is Plentyoffish Media Inc., 2500-555 W Hastings St., Vancouver, BC, Canada.
  7. Winners List: Giveaway results and a copy of these official rules may be obtained by sending a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: “#PlentyOfLove4Mom Mother’s Day Giveaway,” Plentyoffish Media Inc., #142-757 West Hastings St., PMB 670, Vancouver, BC V6C1A1, Canada. Results will be available May 14, 2015.  Requests for results must be received by June 14, 2015.


3 Books To Get You Through Each Stage of Your Breakup

One of the most difficult times I’ve lived through in recent years, was immediately following a horrible breakup. Regardless of what I did to try and distract myself (watching movies, working out, cleaning), I couldn’t escape the deep feelings of sadness. The raw emotions and symptoms that came along with them, were inescapable. During this time, one of the only things that southed me was reading the words of those who had been through a similar experience, knowing that if they had some how made in through this excruciating time in life, so could I. At different stages of my life post breakup, there were different books that helped me along the way, but each one played a part in getting me to the next step and ultimately putting my back together.

Here are the 3 books I read that helped me get over my breakup:

1. It’s called a Breakup because it’s Broken

Breakup Book 1

Author: Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt

When to read: 0 to 3 months post breakup

There’s no doubt about it—as we’ve already established, breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days that follow, there’s one important truth this book certainly made me realize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed. This book was the wake-up call I needed to stop being sad, stop missing, and start giving myself the hard truths I needed to hear – If he broke up with me, he doesn’t want to be with you. Duh, I know. At the time, it didn’t seem so clear. This book taught me that it wasn’t up to me anymore and there was nothing I could do to make things different. And even if there was, did I really want that path now? No! Accepting finality is hard, but as soon as I, I was able to  relinquish most of the what ifs, and start living in the present.

Not only does this book have a ton of breakup battle stories that may even make you feel better about your own, it will also remind you and give your practical tips to hold on to the one thing you have left – your dignity. The book promises to teach you:

  • Why you shouldn’t call him—and what he’s thinking when you do
  • How to keep your friends and not lose your job
  • How to avoid breakup pitfalls: IMing, stalking, having sex with your ex
  • Reframing reality—seeing the relationship for what it was
  • How to transform yourself into a hot, happening Superfox and get a jump on the better, brighter future that awaits

2. You Should Have Known

Breakup Book 2

Author: Jean Hanff Korelitz

When to read: 3 to 6 months post breakup

This is a story of an experienced couples therapist who finds out that her husband is planning to leave her. Even worse, he could be connected to a murder; so, now it’s high time for her own investigation. This psychological thriller helped me realize that it could have been so much worse than a simple breakup with my boyfriend. I constantly compared my story to stories like these, helping me to see just how easy I had it in comparison. This book in particular made me sympathize with the main character, which took the focus off of my own grief. When moments of doubt made their way into my mind, I would turn to these stories for comfort.

 3. The Happiness Project

Breakup Book 3

Author: Gretchen Rubin

When to read: 6 to 8 months post breakup

Six to eight months after my breakup, I was starting to feel normal once again, but I certainly wasn’t 100% back to my carefree, happy self. Feeling bouts of sadness was my new normal. In fact, often enough, a dark cloud would follow me around all day. The worst part was my mind was too often living in the past and rehashing old memories. Sounds pretty horrible right? It was. So I took a recommendation from a friend and started reading the Happiness Project. This book lifted my spirits within the first page or two. It gave me the encouragement to put my well being and state of mind, back into my own hands. It was also gave me a practical roadmap for how to get there (there, being happiness).

Even today many years later, I refer to this book when I’m feeling down. It’s a great pick-me up that you can immediately apply to your day to day.

Still looking for more inspiring breakup books? Check these out.

These are the 3 Questions You Need to Ask Yourself After a Second Date (to Determine Whether There is a Third)

I used to go on multiple dates with guys I just wasn’t into. Since I was looking for more than just a casual fling, my thinking was that over time, and as we both become more comfortable with each other, he would grow on me. This would typically end with an awkward conversation over the phone and my own feelings of disappointment that he wasn’t the guy I had hoped for. Given this repeated outcome, I decided to change things up.

Today my happy medium is a balance of not writing anyone off too early and asking myself 3 pertinent questions after that second date (that determine whether I would accept a third date, if given the opportunity). The purpose of asking these questions is to gauge whether there is in fact compatibility and long term potential with this person rather than leaving it all up to a ‘feeling’, a ‘connection’, a ‘zaza zoom’. If you are in search of a great guy, not just a great date, and don’t want to waste your time, I challenge you to do the same. Here are the three questions you need to ask yourself before agreeing to a third date.

Side note: Unless there is a very good reason (he was rude, he lied or he comes up to your chin), I always recommend a second date. If you liked him enough to go out with him once, you will likely like him enough to go out with him a second time.

1. Are your core values inline (based on what you know so far)?

It’s important to note that this question is one that will continue to be answered over time. Someone’s values can be easily articulated, but the only way you can truly understand someone’s values is by observing and listening to their priorities, morals and ethics. This takes time. With that said, it’s still possible to ask yourself the question, even with limited information. For instance, you may have the urge to rip his clothes off, but if you value family and want one of your own one day, and he doesn’t, he is a waste of your time. Similarly, if you prioritize travel and adventure and he’s never stepped foot outside of the country, with no plans or desire to, this will likely cause problems down the road.

2. Do you want to be around him?

Although, I believe it’s never a good idea to purely chase butterflies, it is important to feel attraction towards the person you’re dating. On the first date, nerves may get in the way, but by the second date, you should start to feel a tinge of “Oh, I like being around you!” Rather than asking yourself if you have a connection or chemistry (because after two dates, it’s probably just the wine talking) be aware of what your body is trying to tell you; When you sit down at the restaurant, do you choose the farthest seat from him or the closest? Do you find excuses to touch him throughout your date, or avoid them? When he brushes by you, do you abruptly move back, or welcome the brief moment of physical closeness? Maybe it’s not his cute dimples, his height or the smell of his cologne that you like. Maybe you’re attracted to his sense of humour, his endless philosophical questions or his curiosity and stories of travel. The point is, there’s something about him that you’re drawn to. You enjoy being in his physical company.

3. Is he interested in you?

Despite whether your values are in line or you enjoy being around him, if he isn’t showing a natural interest in getting to know you, there isn’t much point in agreeing to continue dating. It may be that he’s only interested in something casual or already knows you aren’t the one, but is looking to fill his free time with the company of a woman. A few questions you may want to ask yourself: Does he look at you when you’re speaking? Does he call or text when he says he will? Does he ask you out? Does he ask you questions about yourself? If the answers are yes, then proceed. But if you’re not sure about a few of these, seriously ask yourself if you want to waste your time with someone that isn’t all that into you. If he’s into you, you will know.

3 Male Dating Coaches that Know Why You’re Single

Female dating coaches are a dime a dozen, and although many of them give fabulous advice, there’s something refreshing about receiving advice and feedback from a guy. Besides, who knows men better than men themselves? Combine gender with strong communication skills and an understanding of women and you’ve got a male dating coach. Whether they have assigned themselves this title or not, we all have those guy friends that give straight forward, hard to hear (sometimes), informative advice…and we can’t get enough.

As far as professionals go, here are the top 3 male dating coaches that know you’re doing wrong when it comes to dating men.

Evan Marc Katz Evan Marc Katz Blog

Best Advice – “Identify and leave the undesirable ones, attract and keep the good ones”

I met Evan several years ago at an Online Dating conference. I can tell you from first hand experience, that Evan has a passion for helping single women maneuver the dating process with the goal of finding the man of their dreams. His advice attempts to figure out which bad habits and mistakes women continue to make that are preventing them from finding love. Evan is also a big believer of online dating sites. Evan himself was single for 10 years and went on over 300 dates via online dating sites before he met his wife. Having been single for so many years and finally finding his happily ever after, he can speak from a place of understanding and experience. Evan’s TED talk advising women how to avoid bad dates in the future is a must watch.

Matt Hussey – Get the Guy

Best advice: ‘There is nothing sexier than a woman who doesn’t care whether someone likes her or not.’

Matt Hussey is a Dating Expert, radio show host and regular guest on the Today Show. He also holds seminars across North America teaching women how to get the guy.

I first came across Matt Hussey in a recent Today show segment where he told women why playing hard to get doesn’t work, and that women can in fact make the first move successfully with a bit of flirting and nonchalantness. Matt’s advice is personal and practical. He doesn’t just tell you what to do, he tells you how to do it; from how to get a guy to approach you, to how to write a text that lets him know what you want, to the one phrase you need to say to get him interested. Most of his advice is rooted in his own experiences of singlehood and not having the know-how or confidence to score the girl. Sounds like he may not have always been the stud he is today.

His recent book Get the Guy is a call to action to single women – take the initiative to meet men! Matt doesn’t believe that women should ever ‘play hard to get’, he believes women should actually be hard to get. Meaning, that women need to be confident, independent and live a fulfilled life before they will successfully ‘get the guy’.

Steve Harvey – Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Best Advice: “Signal to a man that you are not someone to be used and discarded. This tells him that what you have – your benefits – are special, and that you need time to get to know him and his ways to decide if he DESERVES them.”

Steve Harvey is a Comedian, talk show host, radio host, entrepreneurs and author. Despite his many talents, the common thread throughout all of his projects, shows and businesses, is his passion for empowering women to find love. Steve believes that women have stopped setting the bar high enough, and are lowering their standards because they want men to like them and accept them. As the title of his book ‘Act like a Lady, Think like a Man’ suggests, Steve believes women should be setting the pace of the relationship. Steve recommends being assertive from the beginning by saying something like ‘Look, if you want to be with me, this is what you got to do. This is what it takes to get to me.'” When it comes to what a man needs in a relationship, Steve chalks it up to 3 simple things: support, loyalty and sex. He needs to know that no matter what you support him and his endeavours, you are loyal to him, and you will provide him with his ‘cookie’, as Steve calls it.

Why was my PlentyOfFish Account Deleted?

This is one of the most common questions we are asked in the thousands of emails our customer service team receives daily. The simple answer is that you broke one of the rules of the site. With 88 million users worldwide and a lean team of 75 employees, it’s imperative that we establish and enforce a number of rules to ensure the site remains safe, free, and committed to helping our users find a genuine connection. On PlentyOfFish, 95% of our users are looking to date or find a relationship, and they comply with the rules of the site. These are the users to whom we cater our time and resources. Unfortunately, the other 5% who don’t follow the rules are immediately banned from the site. We’d ideally like to respond to every email and explain to each user why they were deleted, but with a small team, this just isn’t possible. Our focus will always be on those who are using the site as it was intended; to find a date and/or relationship.

If you were deleted from the site and don’t know why, here are some of the reasons this may have happened:

1. You are looking for casual sex. Once upon a time we allowed singles who were looking for ‘intimate encounters’ to sign up and use the site. Over a year ago, we updated our rules and removed this small group of users from the site. We have not allowed them back since. Our ultimate goal is to help singles find dates and relationships, and those looking for casual sex hinder our ability to do this. If you’re clearly just looking for one thing (and we have our ways of determining this), you’ll be deleted from the site.

Casual Sex












2. You are married (and not separated). If we haven’t said it enough just yet, PlentyOfFish is for people who are looking to date and find a relationship. If you’re married, you are already committed to someone else. If we determine that you indeed have a spouse, you’ll be deleted immediately. May we recommend another site that’s much more suitable for you.

3. You are a scammer, a spammer, a fake, underage, or are soliciting a business. The PlentyOfFish is renowned in its industry for its sophisticated scam detection system. This system intercepts almost 98% of the potential users listed above, before they are even able to sign up. These are two of the 2% who got away…


Spammer #2











4. You are rude to other users. If you’re rude or send inappropriate messages to other users, this will likely result in getting blocked by these users. If you are being blocked too frequently, you will be deleted. Furthermore, PlentyOfFish has zero tolerance for any kind of discrimination related race, sex, disability, sexual orientation etc.

Rude User









5. You post inappropriate photos. Nude and inappropriate photos are not permitted on the site. See  #1. PlentyOfFish has access to advanced software as well as an active user base who help flag these inappropriate photos. When we find them (and we will, even if they are hidden), your profile will be deleted.










6. You login from a country where PlentyOfFish doesn’t exist yet. PlentyOfFish is always expanding into new markets, but if you do login from a country where we don’t yet have a presence, your account may be flagged and deleted.

If none of the above apply to you, it is possible that you may have deleted mistakenly (although this is rare).

PlentyOfFish is constantly working to improve the site to ensure our users have a positive experience. Maintaining the site as a place where relationships are created and users are safe will always be our highest priority. Anyone who negatively impacts users around them and the intention of the site, will not be welcomed back.

Firstborns are More Likely to Find Love

Firstborn, middle, youngest, or single children…who is most likely to succeed at life and love?

The research team at PlentyOfFish set out to understand how your order in the family impacts your likelihood of reaching financial and personal success. With a sample size of 7.6 million singles, the PlentyOfFish research team conducted a comprehensive study that examined the correlation between birth order and long-term relationships, income brackets and education level. They also looked at the relationship between birth order and hair colour, pets and body type. What did they find? Firstborns are more likely to experience several advantages in life. In comparison to their younger siblings, firstborns are more likely to find a relationship, pursue higher education, and make between $100k and $150k a year. The findings differed depending on the number of children in the family, but firstborn children consistently came out on top.

Here are some of the most interesting findings from the study:
  • Firstborn children experience several advantages in life in comparison to their younger siblings. They are more likely to find a relationship, pursue higher education and make a higher income compared to their younger siblings.
  • Middle children are the least likely to find a relationship.
  • Youngest children are the least likely to pursue higher education compared to their older siblings.
  • Single children experience several disadvantages in life. They are less likely to pursue higher education and make an income over $50K in comparison to most singles who have siblings.
How was the study conducted? This PlentyOfFish study examined North American singles, both men and women between the ages of 25 and 45 years old from families with up to 6 children. All users must have created a PlentyOfFish profile since 2013, and we included both current users and those who have since deleted their accounts. The content of this post is based on the information provided by our users to populate their profiles, and we compared the eldest, middle, youngest and single children to examine how they compared to the average user on the site within the same sample group.

How Does Your Birth Order Influence Your Direction in Life?

Likelihood of Finding a Relationship and Birth Order

  • Firstborn children are more likely to find a relationship in comparison to their younger counterparts. 
  • Middle children across the board are the least likely to find a relationship.


Income and Birth Order

  • Single children are 18% less likely to make between $100K and $150K.
  • Eldest of three is 11% more likely to make between $100K. and $150K. Eldest children are the most likely to make an income over $100K/year.
  • Middle children are more likely to make between $100K and $150K compared to their younger sibling/s.


Education and Birth Order

  • Single children are 12% less likely to pursue a PhD. Firstborn children in a family of two, are 20% more likely to pursue a PhD.
  • Firstborn children (regardless of the number of children in the family) are the most likely to pursue higher education, and less likely to only have a high school degree.
  • As the number of children in a family increases, the likelihood that the children will pursue a bachelor’s degree decreases. The exception is single children who are 13% less likely to pursue a bachelor’s degree.





BirthOrderInfluence2 (2)


Research Leads

Morgan Cabot BSc. is a Data Analyst at PlentyOfFish, where she explores the site’s massive database to search for interesting patterns and trends. She graduated from the University of British Columbia on the Dean’s Honour list with a BSc in Mathematics.

Steve Oldridge PhD. leads the Research team at PlentyOfFish and was the main researcher involved in writing several of the PlentyOfFish matching algorithms.  He earned a PhD from the University of British Columbia in Electrical and Computer Engineering.

Credits: Christina Martin (Design), Morgan Cabot and Steve Oldridge (Research)

How to Get Him to Ask You Out Online

Online or offline, traditional courtship in which the man pursues the woman is still the norm for today’s blossoming relationships. In the real world, it’s pretty easy to gauge whether he’s into you or not. Does he call you? Does he ask you out? Does he tell you how he feels about you? But when you’re dealing with online courtships, are the rules the same? If they are, how can a woman be proactive with a guy she’s into without making the first move?

Scenario: You and your PlentyOfFish crush #26 have chatted back and forth several times. You like his look, his ambition and his corny jokes. But after numerous messages, he has yet to ask you out on an official date. And after pondering back and forth for several minutes, it just goes against your traditional values to do the asking. How do you get him to ask you out? How do you leave subtle clues in your messages that if he did ask you out, you would reply with an enthusiastic ‘YES’?

The Weekend Mention

The first way to get a guy to start thinking of the possibility of asking you out is by mentioning your plans for the weekend or asking him about his. For starters, mention something social you’re doing with friends or an event in the city you’re attending. This will tell him you in fact have friends, you’re social and you may even have a few interests in common…even if they are beer and wine. Chatting about your social plans will entice him to ponder his own…and the possibility of including you in them.

The Tease

The tease is slightly more obvious and is intended to leave a few things a mystery, until you meet in person that is.

For example:

Him: I see you spent 3 months travelling through India. Crazy! What was it like?

You: Too much to say in a message. Maybe I’ll tell you about my trip in person sometime:)
You: Should we happen to go for coffee sometime, I’ll tell you all about it.

The hope is that mentioning a meeting in person will either clue him in that it’s time to take things offline or he’ll be curious to actually hear your answer to his question. Essential components of the tease include the word ‘sometime’ and a smiley face.

The Statement

After mentions of weekends and gentle teases, if he still hasn’t clued in, your last attempt is to make a statement about grabbing a drink/coffee, rather than actually asking him. For example, rather than writing “Want to grab a glass of wine this week?” say “I’m always up for grabbing a glass of wine if you’re ever in the area”. This puts the ball in his court to then ask you out on an official date.  If he doesn’t take the opportunity to make solid plans, he may not be interested. Don’t waste your precious time. Next!

New Research Study: Where do the Most Romantic US Singles Live?

With the most romantic day of the year upon us, the PlentyOfFish Research team wanted to understand where the most romantic singles live across the country and how they compare to each other state by state.

The team processed the interests data of 5 million US singles to determine which states and cities are the most romantic in the country in comparison to the national average.  The most romantic places were determined by the percentage of singles within that region who list interests like ‘romance’, ‘long walks on the beach’, ‘cuddling by the fire’, (and thousands of other romantic phrases) on their PlentyOfFish profiles.

What did they discover? Southeastern states are by far the least romantic and this trend spreads far and wide. Florida is the only state in the Southeast that escapes this trend.  The Northwest and pockets of the Northeast host some of the most romantic states in the country. Michigan is the most romantic state in the country and Vermont is a close second.

Here are the findings from the PlentyOfFish analysis:

State-wide Findings

  • Single US Women are on average 36% more romantic than than their single male counterparts.
  • Washington DC is the only state in the country where men are more romantic than women. DC women are 38% less romantic than the national average.
  • Single women who live in large cities are much less romantic than their rural and suburban female counterparts.
  • Michigan is the Most Romantic state in the country. Michigan singles are 55% more romantic than the national average.
  • Single Men in the state of New York are 12% more romantic than the national average.
  • Single men in Michigan are 74% more romantic than the national average.
  • Louisiana is the least romantic state. Singles in Louisiana are 25% less romantic than the national average.

Top 10 Romantic US States

  1. Michigan
  2. Vermont
  3. Maine
  4. New Hampshire
  5. Oregon
  6. Washington
  7. Rhode Island
  8. Massachusettes
  9. Minnesota
  10. Hawaii

City Specific Findings

  • Single women who live in large cities are much less romantic than their rural and suburban female counterparts. In fact, among the 50 largest cities in the US, women were between 5% and 50% less romantic than the national average.
  • Portland is the most romantic city in the country. Single men in Portland are 51% more romantic than the national male average.
  • El Paso is the least romantic city in the US. Single women in El Paso are 52% less romantic than the female national average.
  • Women in NYC are 32% less romantic than the female national average but they are still 22% more romantic than their male counterparts.

Top Romantic Cities in the US

*Sample size based on 5 million US singles. As compared to the national average.

Top Romantic Interests listed on profiles

Holding hands
Summer sunsets
Cuddling by the fire
Walks on the beach
Candlelit dinners
Star gazing/Starry Nights
Sunday morning coffee
Bubble baths
Hot chocolate in winter
Romantic massages

To browse singles in your area who share your interests, visit

5 Tips to Sending Messages that Get Replies

1. Mention Something From Her Profile

There’s nothing worse than finding a generic copy-and-paste message in your inbox. The only thing worse than this is receiving the same copy-and-paste message twice from the same person.

In order to get a reply from a first message, it needs to be unique. Pull something from her profile that indicates you’ve taken the time to get to know her. Did she mention a favorite a TV show in her description, does it look like she travelled somewhere cool in her photos, does she list beach volleyball as one of her interests? Photos, profile description and interests will give you lots of content to work with when you’re crafting that first message.

2. Be Respectful but Casual

Write a message similar to how you would speak, while leaving out empty greetings or the use of slang. You don’t want to come across as being too formal or rigid in the first message. Be respectful, but don’t forget to show off your sense of humour.

Before: “Hello. I am Jason. I really like your profile. You seem nice. I would like to chat with you.”

  • Jason needs to get to know the user by asking her more questions before requesting to chat with her.
  • Nice is a very generic word. Compliment something specific about her from her description, interest or photos.
  • Jason is much too formal and rigid in this message. Instead of “I would like to chat with you”, say “Would love to chat with you sometime”. This sounds much more casual and lighthearted.

After: Hey Tallblondecanuck, I really enjoyed reading your profile. You sound like someone I’d really get along with. I noticed you spent a summer in Europe. I was in Italy this past summer myself – loved the food and history. Which countries did you visit? Which was your favorite? Jason

  • Jason sounds casual and fun in this message. He speaks specifically about something from the the user’s profile and ends with a question which is much more likely to get a response.

3. End with a Question

If you want to improve your chances of getting a reply, you need to end with a call to action. A call to action prompts the user to respond and much sooner than they otherwise would. Although your instincts are to end with something like “Hope to hear from you soon” or “Chat later”, try your best to ignore these instincts and ask a question that relates to their description, interests or photos.

4. Don’t Compliment Her Body Parts

If you compliment a woman on her looks in a first message, you’re coming on too strong. Women will assume you’re only interested in one thing. If you want to get a reply, compliment her personality, her interests, her photos, or the fact that you have a lot in common. Use your imagination, but remember to be on your best behaviour in a first message. If things take off, there will be plenty of opportunities to tell her how hot she is.

5. Don’t Include Contact Information

Another way of coming on too strong is by giving out or requesting contact information in a first message. Part of wooing a woman is making her feel comfortable and allowing her to trust you. This is especially important when you’re online dating because you are a stranger to her and have no friends or family members vouching for you. Requesting contact information before knowing anything about her, will make her think you have ulterior motives and will likely make her feel uncomfortable. Before contact information is sent or requested, make sure a few messages have gone back and forth, you have asked her questions, and attempted to get to know a little bit about her.

Want us to review a recent message you sent? Or do you have your own advice for sending successful messages? Tweet us @PlentyOfFish or leave a comment below!