Going Through A Breakup? This Will Help You!

Breakups are never easy no matter who initiated it and how it ended. Breakups can be tragic, heart wrenching or just straight up awkward as hell. This person who overtime has become your best friend, is now stripped from your life and you are left feeling gutted, contemplative and wanting to reach for that pint of cookie dough ice cream you’ve saved for this perfect moment of self pity.

If you are reading this and find yourself ugly face crying, popping your head in your freezer or curled in fetal position listening to Sinead O’Connor’s, “Nothing Compares To You,” stop right now and have yourself a little R&R this weekend with my top 5 romantic comedies that will get you through your epic charade of squalor and despair.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

I permit you one day to wallow like Peter. But that is it! You and Peter can cry, laugh and recite Lord Of The Rings together with this hilarious uplifting flick.


The Wedding Singer

Who else misses the classic Adam Sandler flick!? I know I do, and The Wedding Singer never gets old. Love stinks when you are with the wrong person but when its right, you will want to grow old together!


There’s Something About Mary

This hilarious Farrelly brother’s movie will no doubt get you laughing hysterically as Ted attempts to track down his high school sweetheart, Mary, in hopes of nailing down a date!


Magic Mike XXL

Yes I know this isn’t a “romantic comedy” per se, but I strongly suggest all my single ladies watch it. Who cares about plot when you have 5 half naked men dancing to “Pony.”


Sixteen Candles

If you’re a hopeless romantic, this John Hughes’ classic will pull at every heart string and give you hope that your Jake is right around the corner waiting for you, maybe not next to a red Porsche, but he is out there!


The Power Of Intuition In Your Love Life

Would it surprise you to know science backs intuition as a source of valuable inner wisdom? A few years ago, I would’ve thought the same. Yet intuition is real—and scientifically confirmed. Seated in the right hemisphere, or half, of the brain, intuition is knowing without factual proof.

In experiments with people who’ve had surgery that keeps their right and left hemispheres from communicating (done to control the spread of electricity that can worsen epilepsy), people do curious things. For instance, if the right hemisphere is exposed to the word “sun” and the left half experiences the word “dial,” they’re only conscious of having experienced “dial.” But when asked to draw a picture with their left hand—which is connected to the right hemisphere—they draw a sun. The right half knows. It just can’t directly say so, because it’s non-conscious.

Intuition probably exists to save us; the biggest threat to most people is other people. We are each other’s heaven and hell. Have you ever had the feeling that a nearby stranger would harm you, given the chance? Don’t investigate—leave! The cost of being wrong and leaving is low; the cost of being right and ignoring your gut is potentially disastrous. Intuition is particularly accurate in areas where we have lots of expertise or experience. And I suspect it also works best in scenarios that would have been vital to our ancestors’ survival and reproduction—like mate selection. Our intuition can tell us we’re with the Wrong partner. It might not be an emergency; still, the voiceless voice is there.

I’ve had this happen twice. The first time, I was engaged. My intuition gradually escalated its alarm, from anxiety to panic attacks to a dream where the voice became conscious: “You must not marry this man!” I left—and all symptoms of anxiety left too. The second time was less dramatic, but no less important. I had gotten fairly involved with a man who seemed perfect in many ways—except he wasn’t kind. He wasn’t mean, exactly; but he didn’t have warmth or caring in him, and his smiles didn’t reach all the way up to his eyes. I could never make a life with someone like that. My intuition warned me from the first date, and I should have listened then. But it kept piping up, and I got out after a few months.

Why aren’t we better at listening to our intuition? Dr. Brené Brown points out that “most of us are not very good at not knowing.” We aren’t good at following what our intuitive right-brain tells us, because our intuitive right-brain does not offer proof—just hunches. Dr. Brown continues, “What silences our intuitive voice is our need for certainty.”
My intuitive voice wasn’t silenced; but I definitely overrode it, and I did so because I wanted proof. What do you do when you feel unclear about someone? If you’re like me, you ask your friends for their opinion. But your right brain does not care about others’ opinions. It cares about protecting you. Listen.

My intuition usually told me, fairly directly, to leave. Yours might tell you to slow down and learn more about this person. Diane was proposed to by a very wealthy man. Her intuition told her something was wrong—and she honored it. By gathering more information, she learned her would-be fiancé didn’t want to support her or her children; she found that even if she did marry this man, she was still on her own. By listening to her intuitive direction to learn more, she prevented what she later told me would have been certain divorce.

In my experience, Diane was braver than most. I know there were times I actively suppressed my own inner knowing because I was tired of looking. I wanted this to be the Right relationship, whether or not it really was. A lot of people hide from the truth to avoid immediate pain, instead of digging out the truth to prevent eventual pain. I think that’s a big part of what silences intuition in dating: We want this one to be The One, so we keep our eyes half-lidded just when we need them wide-open. Remember that you are still investigating this person until you get married.
A sense of fairness also motivates some folks to hide from their intuitive truth. This was me to a T. Is it okay to condemn someone to being cast out of your life when you have no factual evidence that they’ve done—or will do—anything wrong?

This is a good place to remind you that when we’re dating, we aren’t in a court of law. We don’t have to prove anyone guilty beyond the shadow of a doubt; we don’t have to be absolutely certain, or have any proof whatsoever. Dr. Helen Fisher said it perfectly: “Love isn’t about fairness, it’s about winning.” This is dating—you can leave just because you want to. You can leave just because you need to. You can leave just because your gut tells you to. Fairness does not enter into it, and your commitment should not be marital until you are married.
Don’t guilt-trip yourself to the altar, only to stumble in the biggest decision of your life! Embrace your right brain; find your right partner.

Duana C. Welch, Ph.D., is the author of Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do; this is a partial excerpt, copyrighted by the author. For more information and a free chapter, visit http://www.lovefactually.co

10 Best Breakup Lines from TV and Movies

We’re all familiar with the trend. You break up with your special someone and then immediately report to your best friend, who is armed with cookie dough and the best of Netflix. Next on the menu is a calorie-filled, crying coma set to the tune of “The Notebook” being played on repeat.

When you’ve got the breakup blues, what you really need is a good dose of sassy stars, smart-assy quips and the comedic styling of Adam Sandler to bring you back from the breakup grave.

If you’re feeling down and dumped, you can count on these 10 best breakup lines on film to help you forget what you’ve no longer got:

10. “I’d rather be his whore than your wife.”

What a line. In the epic tale of two strangers who met and fell in love aboard the Titanic, you can’t help but root for these star-crossed lovers. Rose was raised to be a woman of dignity and class; meanwhile, Jack Dawson is a wanderer, dirt-broke and offers nothing to compete with Rose’s rich, tool of a boyfriend (except for the fact that he is played by the young and dreamy Leonardo DiCaprio). By the time Kate Winslet delivers this spitfire line, we’re all ready to tell her pompous ass of a fiance where he can shove it.


#9 “Please get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.” 

This crackerjack break-up line will leave your eyes bulging and head shaking as you struggle to hold back snickers even if you have no idea of the context of the movie. In The Wedding Singer, Robbie, played by Adam Sandler, opens up this separation suggestion with, “Hey psycho… It’s over.” As if that doesn’t totally convey the devastation he must be feeling, from there he unapologetically fears for the fate of his favorite band more than the fate of his relationship. All in all, for those who appreciate a good zinger, or at least a good rock band, you can’t beat this humdinger of a breakup line.

#8 “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

This verbal slap in the face will forever go down in history as one of the most quotable and epic breakup lines of all time. Suave, aloof Rhett is quite literally Gone with the Wind after he delivers these memorable 8 words to poor, frantic Scarlett in the 1939 classic film. It kind of stings just hearing it onscreen, but it’s too quick and too good not to praise.

#7 “I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.” 

Your heart can’t help but sink a little bit every time you hear John Cusack say this sadly relatable line. Just picture broken-hearted Lloyd, alone with his boom box—and a pen. It’s like seeing your cocker spaniel in the window through your rear-view mirror and knowing he’s thinking, “She really left. I offered to share my ball, and she poured Kibbles and Bits and drove off.” It’s a laughable line to deliver a sad, sad scene.


#6 “There is a good way to break up with someone, and it doesn’t involve a post-it!”

Sometimes, it’s not just what’s said in a breakup, but how it’s said. When McDreamy and Meredith Grey commit their wedding vows to a sticky note, our hearts swooned, but a breakup via neon paper just doesn’t have the same heart-melting effect. Carrie Bradshaw, no stranger to heartbreak or embarrassing tell-alls about relationships, won’t let us do anything but laugh though when she dumps on her dumping with this comedic comeback.


#5“If I want to be a Senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.”

Everything about this breakup scene is funny—from Elle’s guesses as to Warren’s reasons for dumping her (too blonde or her boobs are too big) to the sickening joke that is the pet name, “Pooh Bear.” A grown man using female icons as references for ideal life partners indicates that there was probably a little too many Cosmo quizzes involved in their relationship anyway. Was his ideal spouse an Autumn, rather than a Summer, too?

#4 “I prefer my space stringy, not loopy”

It’s safe to say that none of the characters of CBS show, The Big Bang Theory, are exactly skilled at normal human interaction, much less proper protocol for romantic relations. This makes for great television on most topics, but the breakup scenes win the sidesplitting game. Lactose intolerance, inability to speak with women in the room and an over-attachment to Mom are all standards in this friend group, but when it comes to science they don’t play. When Leslie Winkle hears that beau, Leonard Hofstadter’s thoughts on a hypothetical theory of physics differ from hers, that’s a “deal-breaker.”

#3 “1, 2, … I want a divorce”

Kicking off a movie filled with love and laughs, the opening breakup scene in Crazy, Stupid, Love takes comedic timing to a new level. On a typical mom and dad date night, Cal and Emily Weaver contemplate what they want to follow their meal. Revealing their choices together on the count of 3 would be a fun, impulsive plan—if they were both pondering the dessert menu. Poor Cal’s suggestion of crème brule is drowned out when instead of crying for chocolate mousse, wifey blurts out that she would like to treat herself to a divorce.

#2 “It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.”

Friends with Benefits—the concept and the movie—necessitate an absence of commitment. So when the writers of the 2011 romantic comedy introduce the leading characters in dating relationships, the plot leaves no choice but to deliver a memorable breakup scene. In a fantastic medley of Mila Kunis, JT and some breakup clichés, these stars deliver an onscreen separation that will have you wondering why you ever stayed in a relationship when breaking up could be so comical.
Screenshot 9

#1 “We were on a break”

Finally, the 5 little words that went down in history as one of the most referenced lines in a 10 season show puts the ultimate comedic spin on a devastating turn of events. Even if you’re not a FRIENDS fanatic (Do you people actually exist?), you’ve probably heard the phrase, or at least caught some meme on Pinterest, featuring a red-faced Ross Gellar and ever-perfect Rachel Green. While the actual breakup scene shattered everyone involved (especially viewers), Ross’s mistake with the hot girl from the Xerox place will forever live in uproarious infamy thanks to this line of hysterical miscommunication.


So why cry it out, when Truvy Jones of Steel Magnolias taught us that “laughter through tears” is the best emotion. Breaking up may be hard to do, but it sure is easier when you’ve got the comic relief of the best breakup lines onscreen.

As the editor-in-chief of DatingAdvice.com, Hayley Matthews oversees content strategy, social media engagement and media opportunities. Connect with her on Google+ and Twitter.