Speak Your Partner’s Language

Have you ever wanted to date someone outside your city, state or even country to see what options may be outside of your local watering hole, grocery store, or coffee shop? Or perhaps you have met someone online and want to make the first contact, but English isn’t their first language.

Well, I did.

And guess what? I was able to do so despite there being a language barrier in the beginning. In this post, I’ll show you exactly how to break the language barrier between you and your potential match. But first, let me tell you about my personal story…

In 2013, I was interested in dating a Brazilian woman.

Problem #1: She didn’t speak much English and I didn’t want to restrict myself to only people that did.

Problem #2: I didn’t speak a single word of Portuguese.

So, I decided to come up with some techniques to be able to communicate in Portuguese on a basic level.

Here are 4 of these techniques that you can use right now to be able to achieve the same because you can apply these to any language!

Using Google Translate to Understand Your Partner

Unlike what many people think, start with Google Translate. It should be used only to understand what your partner says because it won’t always give accurate translations, but with the context, you should be able to understand what it is your partner is saying.

Linguee – Excellent for Translations

Now that the understanding part is figured out, comes the part where YOU write something in his/her language. Linguee is, in my opinion, the best tool for doing so. However, finding the right translation is not instantaneous, because it generates about 25 of them, in order of relevancy.

Go for small sequences of words for better results.

Using the Google Search Engine to Check For Language Accuracy

Google has a huge amount of correctly written samples in a lot of different languages. Take advantage of them by checking if your sentences are correctly written.

This can be done by typing a small sentence in quotes as such: “eu acho você bonito”. Then, look at the number of results at the top to see whether it is likely “correct” in that language.

Generally, the higher the number of results, the more accurate the sentence.

Mimicking Your Partner

Start mimicking how your partner speaks. After all, he/she speaks the language better than you can. Take what your partner said (which you understand with the help of Google Translate) and reformulate it to express your own ideas. You and your partner will start to feel more and more connected!

So, there you have it. Apply these techniques and get ready to possibly meet the love of your life.

Why Older Women May Be Attracting Younger Men

Unless you’ve been on a remote island for the past ten years, you’ve probably heard the term “Cougar.” It’s a provocative term that conjures up an image of a hot, sexy, martini-holding older woman typically throwing herself on an innocent younger man. As a self-proclaimed Cougar and host of the Internet channel: The KarenLee Poter Show, about dating and sex, I’d like to share the truth as to why Cougars are the prey rather than the predators.

A little personal background: I became a widow several years back, and found myself thrown into the single’s world. After being married for 24 years, I was ill prepared for this new life. The first time I heard the word in reference to me, was in a restaurant in New Haven, Connecticut. I was sitting at the bar when a group of younger guys approached me. One brave soul named Aaron asked, “Are you a Cougar, my friends think you are?”

This was the beginning of a six-month long distance relationship, which admittedly was mostly sexual, but nonetheless exactly what I needed at the time. Aaron was enthralled with my openness, confidence, lack of inhibitions, and sexual expertise. I began to notice a trend when I’d go out with my divorced or widowed friends, which was that nine times out of ten, the guys who hit on us were younger – much younger. This was also the case with the men who reached out to me on on-line dating sites.

Here are reasons why I believe some men are attracted to older women.

Older women have self-confidence both mentally and physically. They’ve been through many life passages and have learned how to accentuate their strengths while minimizing weaknesses. Guys don’t have to constantly validate an older girl’s looks or accomplishments; they simply enjoy being around the energy of a self-assured person. This confidence helps in the bedroom too. What’s more fun than being with someone who knows what they like and aren’t afraid to ask for it?

Older women don’t play games. They know the deal going into the relationship and express their concerns from the get-go. When I met my boyfriend, I told him the first night that if he was looking for kids, he was barking up the wrong tree. A Cougar won’t try to manipulate a guy to be her next husband or “forget” to take birth control. Younger guys who want to focus on their careers love the no-nonsense attitude about older women. You’ll never find an older woman ignoring a younger guy’s text just to make him wonder if she’s interested in him. She’s way past those days.

Older women are independent. This means she won’t “need” a guy to take care of her financially or emotionally. Most likely she’ll have a career or money saved. She’ll want to be with the younger man for companionship and sex – not his money. This is liberating to a man who’s just starting to be self-sufficient.

Older women are experienced. Guys want to be educated by a woman who knows her own body and what will turn a man on. Younger men love a Cougar’s uninhibited ability to verbalize her needs in sexually and are eager to accommodate them. Future girlfriends will forever be grateful for the lessons learned.

Older women are nurturing. They’ve been through relationships and realize past mistakes. Older women live in the moment and aren’t looking for future fathers for their children. The relationships can be less demanding and more fun.

The only issue I must warn younger men about is this: Once you’ve been with an older woman, you may become addicted.

In the meantime: Happy Hunting!

Find me at:

6 Reasons Why Dating In Your 30’s is Awesome

There seems to be a slight stigma attached to dating in your 30’s. Thanks to Bridget Jones, women who are single in their 30’s are sometimes seen as a failure simply because they haven’t been coupled up. Well it’s time to break that bad rep and start looking at all the positive reasons why dating in your 30’s is actually awesome.

1: You bounce back quicker

No one likes to be rejected but when you have been turned down a few times in your 20’s, you develop thick skin. Dating in your 30’s means you understand that you aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s alright. Ageing not only gives us wisdom , but it also gives us a better perspective on ourselves and the dating scene.

2: You know what you don’t want

Whilst we may still be working out what we do want in life and relationships, usually by your 30’s you have an idea of what you DON’T want! Past experiences and relationships help us fine tune the type of person we desire as a partner.  With age, usually comes clarity, and when we start to look for a partner later on in life, we can have a clearer sense of what expectations and standards we should realistically set.

3: You can identify the time wasters

After a few years of practice in your teens and 20’s you can usually start to identify certain character traits in the people you date.  By our 30’s most of us have had a couple of toxic relationships or perhaps have even had our hearts broken a few times.  The type of men from your past will help you better understand the right sort of man you should attract into your present and future.

4: You have more confidence

Simply because you probably have a clearer sense of who you are, what you want and where you are going. You have been through some turmoil and have come out the other side, which makes you stronger and wiser. Most of the time by this age bracket we have established ourselves in our careers, and friendships and understand that our sense of worth doesn’t come from a man.

5: You understand more about yourself and love

After a few battles of the heart we tend to work out more about ourselves. When we are in our 20’s we think we know it all, but it’s not till later down the line we realise we had no idea. Dating in your 30’s means that you have a better understanding of what real love looks like.

6: You have your own purpose and life without a man

Finding love in your 30’s isn’t about needing a man, but rather wanting one that adds to your life in a positive way. We have learnt that we are responsible for our own happiness and that we can survive and thrive without one. Therefore, we take off the impending pressure on a guy or ourselves and learn to just enjoy the ride.

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Is Your Date A Financial Mess?

Wish you could tell if your date is a cash connoisseur or a financial flop? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who wishes they could. Finding your soul mate means searching for someone who has the same values as you, both in and out of the bank account. While a financial mess doesn’t need to be a deal breaker, it’s something you may want to know about the other person sooner rather than later to discover if you’re truly compatible. Might not be first date material, but if they aren’t honest with you about their finances, it makes you wonder what else they might not be telling you about.
If you feel it’s a bit too premature to ask your date to log into their online banking so you can take a peek, here are six other ways to tell if your date has made a mess of their money.

1. They Want To Go On A Walk . . . For Every Date

The idea of a romantic stroll sounds great at first. You can get to know each other better, maybe your hands will brush up against one another, with the sweet smell of romance in the air. You know what else this date idea might smell like? A lack of money. If your date always suggests you go on walks, watch movies in the basement or only go for coffee instead of dinner, they may not have much cash in tow.

2. Date on a Thursday? But Payday is Friday!

Weekday dates can be a casual way to get to know your date without staying out all night. But if your date refuses to go out with you on a Thursday, and suggests the following Friday, it might be a sign that they’ve run out of money before their next payday.

3. They’ve Mastered the ‘Fake Reach’ For the Bill

Come on, you know what I’m talking about. The bill comes to the table, and one second after you reach for the bill, they reach for it too. Even before you finish saying, “Oh no, I’ll get it,” their hand is already back in their lap. Even worse is when the cheque comes and your date is nowhere in sight. People have actually mastered this intentionally-timed bathroom trip. If your date is dining and dashing to the bathroom, it may mean they don’t have the cash to pay or are afraid their credit cards may be declined.

4. Their Phone Rings Off the Hook

Before you jump to conclusions and assume they’re talking to 8 other people, consider that a phone ringing non-stop can be a sign of debts in collections. Collectors are relentless and will call repeatedly if your date owes them money. See an 800-number on call display? Look for me in the background waiving two red flags.
Want to solidify your suspicion? Piles of unopened mail at their house are another hint that they’re neglecting their bills.

5. Their Flashy Lifestyle Doesn’t Match Their Job

Impressed by their big ride, chrome rims and leather interior? How about their great taste in designer clothes? Dig that golden tan? If you’re loving what you see, only to find out your date’s flashy lifestyle doesn’t match their job or income level, consider it a buyer beware. What someone appears to be on the outside is absolutely no reflection of what’s happening inside their bank account. In fact, it can often mean the exact opposite.

6. They’ve Got Tons of Baggage . . . Under Their Eyes

No one wants a date with a ton of baggage, and you definitely don’t want to see baggage right under their eyes. Dark circles are an indication of lack of sleep, and one of the most common reasons people can’t sleep is because of money troubles. Try and catch a glimpse of the inside of their wallet. If you see more than one or two credit cards, odds are that your date has got a money mess on the mind.

But Don’t Stress…

Many people get excited thinking they’ve met their soul mate, and then suddenly their love bubble pops once they realize they’re dating someone who has totally opposite views on money. Money conversations should happen early in a relationship, but remember,  just because someone is struggling with their finances doesn’t mean this should be a deal breaker. There are many causes for financial strain – their hours could have been cut at work, they could have taken time off to help a sick relative, or they could have been devastated financially from a previous relationship. Not everyone struggles with money because they’re irresponsible.

Despite the past, there are many ways to tell your date is trying to get on the right track financially for their future. They may have spoken with a professional, created a money plan for themselves and committed to paying down their debt and living within their means. In fact, they may be so committed to a frugal lifestyle that they’re suggesting coffee dates or have bags under their eyes from working overtime!
Have you ever dated a financial mess? Leave your story below to help others know what to watch for!

Captivate Your Date With 3 Qualities

Finding love online has never been easier in this age of technology and endless options at your fingertips. If you’re looking for real love and a lasting relationship there are three key qualities that men look for in women. Here are three key things that can increase your overall appeal.

Your Perceived Beauty

Men are visual creatures and every man has a different standard as to what they find attractive in a women. If there are two women of equal attractiveness, he’ll be more drawn to choose the woman with the happier, more pleasant personality.

This selection is based on perceived beauty because being beautiful is not just about your looks. To a man, beauty is a combination of looks, behavior and character. His attraction develops and grows based on a combination of her charisma, confidence, and ability to be playful.

Your perceived beauty is also affected by your outlook on life. A positive outlook is one of many factors men look for when selecting a long term partner.  They are drawn to positive women and are more likely to stick around when she is optimistic about life.

A Confident Mindset

Confidence is the number one trait that both men and women find most attractive in each other.

A confident woman knows how to show interest in men. Her focus is on men who treat her well and respect her because she decides who to let in to her life.

One of the biggest pitfalls for single women focused on finding love, is that they become consumed by dating different men and engage in tireless conversations about dating so often, the rest of their passions and goals are put on hold.

To find love you must devote time to it, you have to have a life outside of him.  You’re not waiting for a man in order to lead a happy and fulfilling life. A confident woman makes a man earn his way into her schedule instead of putting him in an empty calendar.

Create the Magnetic Connection

To create rapport and build a connection with a man, get him excited to talk about himself.

Show your interest in him and be present. This means, asking questions about him and being engaged in the conversation to show you are tentative and genuinely interested in listening to what he has to say.

Stay focused on the present moment with him. When you make him feel good, he’ll want to be in your company for the long term.

With these 3 easy methods, every woman can become the most attractive version of themselves in their own unique way.

Candace is giving away a free customized guide here on how to practice becoming a more attractive version of yourself.

Online Dating Tips for the Introvert

Picture this: you’ve spent the night out with your girls, getting turnt at the hottest club in town. As you file out into the street, walking gingerly in your heels, you blow kisses goodbye and hop into a cab… just as someone else climbs in through the other door! It’s awkward for a moment, but you agree to share the ride, and tell stories of your epic night along the way. By the time the ride is over, you’ve swapped phone numbers (maybe even a kiss), and the world is aglow with the potential of a new romance…

Sounds exhausting, right?

If you’re an introvert, a meet-cute like this is just not for you. In fact, you’d probably rather find someone online, sharing long, soul-spilling emails with potential partners like Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. And guess what? That’s okay! In fact, it’s practically the norm: it is believed that one-third of modern marriages got their start on the Web. Online dating is a phenomenon, and for many introverts who are tired (or afraid) of the traditional dating scene, the Internet can be the perfect solution.

But with so many people looking for love online, how will you know who’s right for you? For all it’s good qualities, the Internet can feel scary. But by following just a few tips, you’ll be able to suss out your soulmate from the World Wide Web.

Get Personal With Your Profile

With online dating, even more so than in the world, you have to “put yourself out there.” In a real-world setting, prospective partners can learn about you from your body language, facial expressions, and behavior; here, there is only your profile. So make sure the profile screams “you!”

And we mean the REAL you. Everyone likes “spending time with friends,” “watching the sunset,” and “cuddling by the fire.” Be specific about your interests, and don’t hold anything back. Are you an avid hiker who spends your mornings meditating on mountaintops? Write it down. Do you spend your Saturdays writing fan-fiction about the best friend adventures of Gandalf, Magneto, and Dumbledore? Put it in the profile. Do you breed madagascar hissing roaches? Let the world know!

According to Christie Hartman, Ph.D., many people stick to the basics when building their online profile. They are afraid of “sounding too different or too odd, not realizing that it actually backfires.” But the people you’re looking to connect with are the people who share your interests (or at least think they are interesting). So let your true colors show!

Check For Personality Clues

You want the people you meet online to share your interests. But you also want to make they have what you’re looking for. Pay attention to clues in their profile that reveal the man (or woman) behind the screen.

Do you want a fellow introvert you can cuddle with quietly? Look for someone whose interests line up with the quiet life – reading, movies, etc. Do you want an extrovert to bring you into his active social life? Look for a profile filled with pictures from parties. These little clues will point you towards the person you want to be with!

Try A Specific Site

Remember all those interests we talked about before? The things that make you the unique and amazing person you are? Well, for those of us searching for some who truly understands our likes and dislikes, niche dating sites exist! Whether you are a cat lover or a Dr. Who fanatic, there is a site for you! Many introverts have tremendous passion when it comes to their hobbies, so sites like these can be a good way to meet someone with whom you’ll feel a connection. And besides, even if you don’t find a soulmate, you might end up with a whole bunch of new friends!

Go On A Date!

Yes, yes, this one may seem obvious, but it’s important! After all the time you spent building a profile, searching for matches, and getting past the (horribly awkward) initial small talk via text and email, you deserve a date. Get out of your comfort zone, get face-to-face with your online match, and have fun! Who knows, maybe you’ll be in the lucky one-third of folks who found their soulmate on the screen.

Why Pokemon Go Will Never Be A Dating App

Pokémon Go has taken the world by storm. People are playing it on the bus, at work, in the bushes and even on dates! 

Pokémon Go, does encourage people to peel themselves off the couch and get outside; but, contrary to popular belief, Pokémon Go is not, and never will be a dating app. 

Here are my top ten reasons why Pokémon Go will never beat meeting singles on real dating apps like PlentyOfFish

You’re too busy “catching them all” instead of  devoting time to converting your Pokéstop meet ups into real dates.

You don’t know if your fellow Poké player is, in fact, single because they have zero “dating” information on their Poké profile.

You’re simply missing out on a sea of single people that aren’t interested in playing Pokémon – you’re limiting your options.

You’re looking at your phone instead of making eye contact with your date, because you can’t help but watch your incubated egg hatch into the Pokémon you’ve always wanted it to be. 

There is a limited window of time to meet potential matches through Pokémon Go, because people tend to play mostly during the day. On a dating app, millions of users are logged in all day and night, making your opportunities for meeting people endless. 

Poké dates inevitably result in you being on your phone constantly, causing you to be distracted further by incoming texts and phone calls. You just broke first date etiquette 101. 

The anonymity of meeting someone during game play, doesn’t let you screen them prior to your face to face meet. Say goodbye to creeping them on Facebook and Instagram. 

You find your date is a little too invested in catching MewTwo than asking questions about you – your family, where you grew up and your interests outside of Pokémon Go. You want to find commonalities and shared hobbies with one another that goes beyond the game. 

The lack of a live chat feature on Pokémon Go doesn’t allow for any initial flirt or courtship prior to meeting in person. 

You’re not living in the moment when you meet someone at a Pokéstop, because all you can think about is raising your character’s CP (combat points) for their next battle. Your #1 priority is playing the game, not sparking up conversation with the single next to you.


Exclusive Video – POF Insider Dating Tips From The Experts

Have you ever wondered how to improve your online dating game to get more matches? 

Employees and Dating Experts at PlentyOfFish, Shannon and Kate, answer your most frequently asked questions and share their hottest insider dating tips with you, the PlentyOfFish user!

Check it out!



Stay tuned for the next video which will cover the art of the message – how to send messages that get replies!

Only 1/3 Women Will Date A Trump Supporter

New research out of PlentyOfFish is offering a not-so-subtle reminder about the perils of mixing politics and dating, as well as some bad news for Trump supporters who are looking for love.

The data is based on PlentyOfFish research and a survey of over 4000 American singles over the age of 18, illustrating how love lives can be affected by political affiliation.

If you had the upcoming U.S. election planned as a hot conversation topic for your next date and don’t know who your special someone is voting for, probably reconsider bringing this up. Singles are hesitant about dating someone with drastically different political views than their own, with 25% refusing to do so, and 31% being unsure if they would even attempt it.


Unsurprisingly, male Donald Trump fans are doing some significant damage to their dating prospects, effectively eliminating 40% of their dating pool by supporting him.


Clearly, politics can be a polarizing force, but it’s not deterring people from wanting their voices to be heard. The strong majority of American singles are planning to vote in the upcoming election.

POF_ElectionSurvey_April4-05Bernie Sanders is the most favored candidate among singles polled. A large swathe of singles are Independent – with only 22% identifying as Republican and 31% as Democrat. Effectively proving that many singles will, in fact, be faced with the question of dating across the aisle.

POF Survey Reveals 80% of Millennials Have Been Ghosted!

PlentyOfFish recently surveyed 800 millennial daters between the ages of 18-33 and almost 80% of singles answered YES to having been ghosted (someone they were dating suddenly ceased all communication without an explanation)!



Surprising? Not entirely.

This percentage is high but it is also to be expected. Online dating is a great platform to meet a plethora of singles versus 10-15 years ago when we were limited to dating within our immediate social circle. When you meet someone online, go on a couple of dates and come to the realization it isn’t going anywhere, your immediate reaction may be to trigger the avoidance tactic. You send messages few and far between in hopes your date takes the hint.

Since the likelihood of running into this person down the road is low, paired with the convenience of hiding behind a device, millennials have opted to take the easy way out by ghosting one another instead of giving a clear, “I’m just not that into you,” answer.

I think I speak for most when I say, all singles want is honesty. 

So now you may be asking, “Ghosting Scott last week wasn’t the best thing to do?!”

Ding Ding you’re correct!

Ghosting Scott was a poor choice on your part and I am here to tell you what to do when ghosting feels like the only option!

SCENARIO ONE: “I’ve gone on one date with Scott, ONE DATE, do I need to let him know I’m not interested?”  

Accordingly to the PlentyOfFish survey, 40% of singles will follow up 1-2 days after a first date if they see the potential in a second. Therefore, if Scott messages saying he had an absolute blast and would like to see you again, the appropriate response would be to let him know, unfortunately, you didn’t feel a spark but wish him all the best! At least a quick heads up will let Scott know he can move onto the next.

If Scott does not follow up after the date; it is evident the both of you are on the same page and a message is unnecessary.

SCENARIO TWO: “Scott and I were dating for two weeks before I ghosted him. Now I feel guilty because he was a great guy and he’s been messaging me but there is zero text banter and absolutely no spark.”

You can still make amends based on two factors; how long you’ve ghosted them for and when they last sent you a message. If it’s been over two weeks, let’s not rub salt in the wound.

If you haven’t spoken to Scott for under two weeks while he’s been trying to reach out, you can clear the air by sending a quick apology text as to why you’ve been MIA for the last week and that he’s genuinely a sweet guy, but unfortunately there is no connection for you.

If you’ve cut off all communication for over two weeks and Scott hasn’t reached out for over a week, there is no follow up required. He got the picture. And you never know, maybe Scott is within the 14% of singles from the PlentyOfFish survey, who admitted to having scheduled multiple dates for one day/night! Scott wastes no time!

SCENARIO THREE: “I ghosted Scott after a couple dates because I wasn’t ready at the time, but now I regret my decision and want to give it another shot! Can I message him?” 

If you don’t give it a proper go, you will never know. You have to consider and respect that Scott may have moved on to dating someone else while you were flip-flopping. The best thing to do here is draft up a message to Scott admitting your cold feet the first time but that you would love to get together for a coffee/drink on Saturday if he is interested!

Worst case scenario, Scott doesn’t reply. That’s okay, you’ve just been given a taste of your own medicine and you move on.


You may be pleasantly surprised and Scott agrees to take you up on your offer.

“Ghosting” has become the newest trend when ending a relationship, but we have the ability to change that by revisiting the “old school” method of honest communication. At the end of the day, 73% of single millennials are all looking for one thing, a serious relationship. Don’t waste each others time!