Confidence-Boosting Tips For Every Dater

Confidence is sexy. And it really is the secret sauce to successful dating.

Whether you’re trying to catch the eye of that handsome fella in the coffee shop or secure your second date, it all starts with you. Here’s what you need to know.

Love yourself first

I know this sounds corny beyond belief. But it’s true. You need to build your future relationship on a foundation of deep love and respect for yourself. While this all sounds rather lovely and fluffy, there are practical ways to achieve this. Essentially, you need to prepare your mind to ensure you’re able to receive love. “How?” I hear you ask. I have a couple tricks to share with you!

Value your unique quirks

We all have our own little habits and idiosyncrasies which make us unique. The great thing is this attracts the right person because it makes you stand out. Love bright colors? Wear them. Book worm? Hang out in bookstores. Comic book obsessed? Get yourself to a comic con. Not only are you allowing your freak flag to fly, increasing your confidence and self-worth massively, but you’re more likely to meet a guy on your wavelength who’s interested in these things, too.

Prepare your mind for love

Affirmations work like a charm. Phrases such as, “I am worthy of the love I desire” or “I am beautiful. I am loved. I am worthy” are powerful. Schedule them on your iPhone to pop up throughout the day. Stick them on your bathroom mirror. On the side of your hard drive at work. Journal on your perfect day. Who are you waking up next to? How does your day start? What do you say to one another? Write about it in detail and evoke all of your senses. Type it up and set it as a reminder on your phone. Read it every morning. Feel into it as if it’s already happening.

Take care of yourself

Self-care has become such a buzz word that it’s reached the point of sounding cliché. But you really do need to take care of yourself to attract the right partner. It’s about nourishing yourself from the inside out. Whether it’s moving your body, eating well, or making sure you have a massage or a manicure every couple weeks, do something that makes your mind and your body feel good.

Have a purpose beyond dating

It’s really dull, and actually quite sad, when you go on a date with someone and your date buddy has no conversation outside of the dates they’ve recently been on. Don’t let that be you. It’s incredibly attractive to have ambition and a focus outside of dating. Whether it’s volunteering or a really challenging work project, busy yourself with something to compliment your quest for love.

If you take only one lesson here, allow it to be this.

Love yourself first.

A relationship based on a foundation of deep self-worth is one that will last far beyond that nervous number exchange at Starbucks.


Connect with Author Cheryl J. Muir on Facebook 

Top 5 Things That Make Men Run!

So you have a lot to offer and want to find a great guy. So what then are you doing to make men run? Whether it’s them or you, it’s always good to know what positive self-changes we can make to become great partners and attract equally fantastic men. So here are 5 common things that make men head for the hills:

1: Clinginess

This isn’t about playing hard to get, but rather giving a guy the space he needs. We don’t want to smother our man, as it sends the signal that we don’t know how to be independent without him. Being affectionate and attentive is one thing, but being clingy is another. Give the man a chance to miss you, and show him that you are quite OK on your own.

2: Lack of confidence and insecurities

Men love a confident woman. Period. When a woman stands firm in her self-worth and purpose, it becomes incredibly attractive to a man. Simply because it shows that she isn’t afraid of a challenge and rejoices in who she is. It also reveals a level of strength which draws guys in. Constantly obsessing about how you look or where you are failing will only turn men off.

3: Being too available

This doesn’t mean you have to leave him guessing and give him 6 “no”’s to one “yes”. But there is something more attractive about a woman when she shrouds herself in a bit of mystery and gives a guy a bit of chase. Nope this isn’t about playing games, but rather continuing on with your own life instead of putting it on hold for him. Keep doing what you are doing, learn to compromise to some degree but make sure it’s reciprocated.

4: Indecisiveness

This is a little bit annoying for anyone, but especially to men. When you can’t make up your mind, it shows two things; 1: that you are not having the confidence to do and say what you really want or 2: that you have no clear direction in your life . Be firm, say what you feel the need to say and be a decision maker. Don’t leave it up to the guy every time. Take initiative with plans and make the calls. He will love you for it!

5: Nagging

Probably the biggest turn off for a guy is when the woman he is with becomes a nag. Communicating what you want is necessary, but incessantly nagging him about it is not. If they guy doesn’t listen to you or take action, then you have two options; 1: do it yourself or 2: find someone else to do it for you (within reason of course).

And remember when we become the best versions of ourselves we open the door to attract the best man for us.