The Busiest Day for Online Dating is Almost Here!

If your new year’s resolution is to find love, then listen up!

This Sunday, January 7, 2018, is predicted to be the busiest day of the year for online dating, according to Plenty of Fish data. The best time for users to log into their POF app and start chatting with other singles is at 9pm. Signups are expected to reach 117,139, which means plenty of potential matches at your fingertips!

Ghosts Of Exes Past – 3 Tips To End Your Bad Dating Habits

Between the mistletoe, sappy TV adverts, and Mariah Carey songs, it’s easy to fall under the Christmas romance spell.

Side effects of the Christmas romance spell include: wondering if Dave from the Accounts Departments is actually your one true love, or spending a lot of time at the ice rink waiting to fall into the arms of Prince/Princess charming!

**Spoiler alert: Dave probably isn’t your soul mate, but even if he is, tequila-drunk at the Christmas party isn’t the best time to explore this option.

Sharing The Bed With A New Partner? Here’s How To Cope With The 6 Most Common Sleep Personalities

So you may be single, or you may be new to a relationship, or maybe you’re just someone who snuggles with their friends or roommates. Whatever the case may be, at some point we have all felt the discomforts associated with sharing the bed. Science has proven that sharing the bed with a partner actually provides a range of health benefits including the reduction of stress-related hormones. Sleep is an undoubtedly personal and important aspect of our lives, one in which all of us need and many if not most of us cherish – so let’s make the best of our rest!

When It Comes to Conversation, Here’s Why We Don’t Take Our Own Advice

We seem to agree, overall, on what behavior is unacceptable in the context of conversation. The new study from Plenty of Fish reveals the broad agreement that it’s wrong to “ghost” someone you are dating, yet a sizable number of people have done it to someone else. The study also shows that people of all ages think emojis are a terrible way to flirt, but consumer research shows 92% of online consumers use them to communicate.

Why 90% of Singles Choose Conversation Over Sex

It makes for a striking headline: most people would rather spend the night talking than having sex. That’s the takeaway from a recent study sponsored by dating app Plenty of Fish, and it may surprise you.

But ask yourself this question: what does a relationship mostly consist of, sex or conversation? As I see it, lack of healthy communication is a more common cause of divorce than sexual issues. You will learn more about a person over the course of a 3-hour chat than if you spent that time in bed (unless you were talking the whole time).

Planning the Perfect Honeymoon

Planning a wedding is certainly exciting, but it’s also downright exhausting. Fortunately, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, or rather, sunlight…and perhaps a sandy beach kissed by turquoise blue waters and a hammock built for two, where you and your new husband can melt away all the stress that you endured while planning your dream wedding.

From BFF to Bae – Turning the Friend Zone into a Touchdown

The reason I asked you here is – I have something to say to you. I didn’t realize it until last night, but the truth is, I realize that I don’t just ‘like‘ you. I actually ‘like-you, like-you‘.

Arnold’s confession to Lila in the park on Hey Arnold, echoed through my mind as I came to the realization that I didn’t just ‘like‘ my childhood best friend – I actually ‘liked-him, liked-him‘.

If you’ve found yourself in a similarly awkward situation, don’t fret. Here’s a roadmap for navigating the path from best friend to boyfriend.

-Assess the Situation-

Before making any decisions, you’ll need to pin-point exactly when you started having feelings for your bff.

Did he do something special that tugged at your heart-strings? Did he support you when you were going through a tough time? Did your feelings simply blossom over the years?

Understanding what it was that made you fall, will help you figure out how to move forward.

In my case, I realized that romantic feelings for my bff came to fruition after sophomore year of college. Before then, I’d always known that he was perfect boyfriend material, I just didn’t see him in ‘that way‘. But when he came home from college that year, he was taller, slimmer, and a lot cuter than before. I eventually became attracted to him, and not just his personality. So, what’s a girl to do now?

-Develop a Plan of Action-

Once you know what has triggered your temporary insanity, it’s time to develop a plan. As with all plans, there’s offense and defense.

If you or your best friend are already in relationships with other people, then you should be playing defense. Your job here is to wait for an opening. Don’t ruin your friend’s relationship, or yours, by revealing your feelings right away. Let your other relationships take their natural course. If you think that you may be losing interest in your current flame, take time to re-evaluate your situation – it may be time for you to move on from them.

Meanwhile, continue to support your friend without being disrespectful to them or their partner, and without over-stepping your boundaries. Karma is real, and you don’t want to start off a new relationship with one of the most important people in your life, plagued by bad juju.

If you’ve only recently discovered your romantic feelings, then you should also be playing defense. Don’t rush to spill the beans if it’s too soon. This is an important decision, and it could potentially go great, or not-so-great. So, make sure that your feelings are real, and not just fleeting. This may mean waiting days, weeks, even months if necessary, until you’re sure. It took me a year of failed dates and denial until I could definitively admit to myself that I had real feelings for my best friend, and that I wanted to explore them.

When your mind is made up and each of you are emotionally available, it’s time to switch to offense.

-Implement the Offensive Plan-

The plan for offense is simple – figure out what to say, and when to say it.

This is a delicate situation; it’ll be stressful, you’ll be anxious, and there will be pressure. To alleviate some of the tension, express yourself in the simplest way possible, and in a comfortable environment.

Remember that above all, this is your friend, and you’ll want to maintain your friendship regardless of what happens. Planning a grand gesture that could potentially backfire, may damage the chances of your friendship returning to where it was before. So be cool, be confident, wait until you have their full attention, and let them know how you feel.

Here’s how I approached this situation: Senior year of college during fall break, I met up with my bff for dinner – nothing out of the ordinary. We talked and had a great time, and on the way home, I told him that I ‘liked-him, liked-him‘. Nervously, I awaited his response.

-Take a Deep Breath, Then Exhale-

Once you’ve revealed your deepest, darkest secret – relax. Regardless of what happens, it’s not the end of the world. Don’t pressure him for an answer right away. This is news to him, and he may need time to process it.

If he doesn’t feel the same way you do, at least you got it off your chest. You took a risk and put yourself out there. You’ll feel like a weight was lifted, and things will still work out the way that they’re meant to.

If he does feel the same way, then prepare for some changes.

-Embrace the Change-

After the initial shock of my reveal, my best friend admitted that he liked me too, and we decided to give dating a shot.

Despite being good friends, it was a big adjustment. You learn a new side of someone when you start dating them, regardless of how well you knew them before.

Like any other couple, you’ll argue and disagree. The good thing is, you’ll have a solid friendship to fall back on as you overcome these common challenges.

If you weren’t previously affectionate, you’ll have to gradually let your relationship become more intimate. It may take some time, but remember that you two have natural chemistry from being friends. Let your romantic relationship evolve organically; don’t force anything, just go with the flow.

Things will change, but sometimes, change is good.

Six years ago, I took a risk with dating my best friend, and things changed. Six years later, we’re happily married and having a blast together.

Don’t be afraid to take a chance on love. If you’re willing to take a risk, you may find a touchdown waiting for you beyond the friend zone.

Social Media & Your Relationship – 5 Rules

Social media is a huge part of our daily lives. Even if you aren’t a massive fan, chances are the people you date will probably be using it frequently. With millions of people being active multiple times a day over several different platforms, we have to expect a few negative impacts.

It’s not to say that you should boycott social media, but here are some good ground rules to keep in mind when mixing it with your love life:

Keep your relationship private, but don’t hide it

When you change your relationship status from being single to declaring you are committed to someone, this is a huge step. You are letting the people in your world know that you are taking the next step. It doesn’t mean that you need to divulge every single detail, fight or gooey bit along the way. Keeping the details of your relationship private means there is less room for unwanted opinions. There is a huge difference though in hiding the fact you are with someone altogether. Even if you are a private person, secrecy should never come into play in any stage of a loving relationship.

Don’t air your dirty laundry online

We all have fights and sometimes people let us down. This doesn’t mean you have the right to openly bully or slander someone online. The less drama you show about your relationship, the less unwanted attention and comments you will get. No one is perfect, so try to work things out behind the scenes rather than post it all over your status feed.

Know when to switch off from it…literally

It’s so easy to waste our time staring at our phones or computers. Social media is a huge way in which we communicate and interact with the world. Try to set some rules when it comes to turning off your devices and choosing to spend quality time with each other instead.

Not everything you see is as it seems

So often we get caught up in the “filtered” life of what we see on social media. This causes us to think that the grass is greener on someone else’s profile. Comparison is a joy thief, and what you see isn’t necessarily a true representation of what that person’s life and relationship is like.

 Learn to cultivate respect when using it

What I mean by this, is that you need to be aware of what temptations may be out there. It’s easy to chat to a good-looking stranger or harmlessly like a sexy picture, but you need to stop and ask yourself is it respectful to the person you are dating? Social media is also an easy way to get in contact with the past, and let’s just say that some people are better off left in the past. Be conscious of what your actions are and who you are inviting into your private world.

 

 

Find Yourself Before You Look For Love

Everyone is always in such a hurry to find love—but perhaps women more so than men, given the societal pressures we often face when it comes to the subject of relationships. Unlike single men, single women constantly have to hear questions like…

Why are you still single?

Why don’t you have a boyfriend?

When are you ever getting married?

If you heard questions like that all the time, wouldn’t you feel pressured, too?

But here’s the thing—pressure or no pressure, love is never going to adhere to your deadlines. It will happen when you least expect it. You’re not going to find love by aggressively seeking out your “soulmate.” At the end of the day, love will find you—not the other way around.

So instead of wasting your precious singledom on such a tiresome and frustrating venture, why not use this time to find yourself instead? Finding yourself—finding out who you really are and what you want out of life—is a more worthwhile venture because when love does finally find you, you’ll actually be prepared for it.

Here’s why you need to find yourself first:

  • YOU GET TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN A PARTNER

Have you ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out because you eventually realized that the person wasn’t right for you? Oftentimes, failed relationships stem from not knowing what you really want in a partner. But to find it out, you have to see what’s out there—you have to go out on dates.

Dating is actually an important part of finding yourself. But the goal, at least for the time being, is not to meet the love of your life—it’s to have fun and enjoy your freedom. Meet some people, go on blind dates, or maybe try online dating (make sure to stay safe) just so you can see what’s out there, and figure out what you want and what you don’t want in a partner.

  • YOU BECOME MORE INDEPENDENT

In your quest to find yourself, you’ll inevitably end up doing a lot of things on your own—like traveling the world, taking up new and exciting hobbies, or chasing your dream career. Finding yourself will teach you true independence, and that’s something every person should learn before they embark on a romantic relationship. Experts say that maintaining your independence even when you’re with someone will ultimately lead to a healthier relationship.

  • YOU LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF

You have to be happy with who you are before you can find happiness with another. It makes sense, doesn’t it? Healthy relationships, after all, are not built on personal dissatisfaction, insecurities, and self-loathing.

Finding yourself is a very personal process that allows you to examine every aspect of yourself and your life. It allows you to come to terms with who you are, who you want to be, and what you want out of life. And somewhere along that journey, you’ll learn to love yourself and be happy without needing anyone to make you feel complete.

We’ve all heard the saying: two halves do not make a whole. It takes two equally whole people to make a committed relationship work.

And you can only be truly whole once you’ve found yourself.

love-myself

Are You Complacent in Your Relationship?

There comes a time in one’s life when they seek a serious relationship.  It’s only natural for us to search for a relationship that meets our needs  To understand how we go about this, think about that job with a steady source of income which allows us to come home and turn off the switch.  We can then focus on other things in our life.  What’s important here is that we keep this job because we feel we have a safe and secure job.  And to leave it would mean a fearful experience or a loss of security and stability. So you stay at this job and never explore future opportunities.

Does this sound like your relationship? 

Just as in the job example, comfort plays a vital role.  Sometimes being too comfortable is not a good thing.  It doesn’t push you to be your best.

Are you too comfortable in the relationship? 

Maybe you don’t go that extra mile that you once did to look and feel your best. Being comfortable in a relationship might just be a telltale symptom of settling.  The comfortable relationship may take care of immediate needs, but it may be stagnant. Relationships should be growing and evolving with time.

Does your partner irritate you? 

Those little quirks that you once thought were cute, now make you irritable which shows you don’t look at your partner the same way as you once did. Fighting over the “little things” often occurs when a couple has focused on each other’s shortcomings rather than their strengths. Are you guilty of this behaviour?

Do you make excuses to justify why you’re settling? 

You think of excuses like, “I’ve invested so much time and energy into this.”, or “I’m afraid to be single and date again, what if I don’t find anyone?”.  Thoughts like these haunt your dreams and never let go. They are fear-based and keep you stuck. These thoughts are important in that they are there to remind you of your unhappiness in the relationship.  To you, the fear of leaving is worse than settling in your relationship. If you are unhappy now, think of the future that awaits.

It is healthy to spend some time away from your partner, but when you find yourself enjoying your free time away from them a little too much, you may very well be settling.  Is the alone time just a method used to distance yourself from a troubled relationship.

Do you fantasize about being in a different relationship?

This shows you are looking for something beyond the safe and secure relationship you currently find yourself in.  If you catch yourself doing this frequently, it’s time to have a talk with your partner.

It can be difficult to face your fears but in the end, you have to ask yourself if this relationship is enough for you or if it’s time to face your fear and move on to a relationship which is really going to fulfill you.