The holiday season is coming in hot. You’re likely well into your gift shopping for the year, and might already be hopping from one holiday party to the next while somehow still juggling family events in between. Or, maybe you’re just taking it real easy this year (in which case, major props to you). In any case, ’tis the season for connecting – be that with friends, family, co-workers, or that random school classmate you were really hoping you wouldn’t run into.
The season for connecting also tends to bring along with it a lot of questions. How’s work? Where are you living now? How’s your family? Then there’s one of the most annoying ones of all… the dreaded, “Why are you still single?” Just in case you need the clarification, this question is absolutely nobody’s business except for yours. Here at Plenty of Fish though, we definitely understand it can be a toughie to just brush off… so we’ve come to the rescue!
Next time you’re faced with answering this question, whoever it might be from, here are some hilarious, clever, and just downright ridiculous responses that are more than likely to get that pesky friend or family member off your back.
- “I asked a professional and it turns out I’m overqualified.”
- “Red (Taylor’s Version) just came out and I need it to be relatable.”
- “I sleep diagonally and I’m not willing to alter that behavior.”
- “I hate compromise.”
- “Because I don’t want pink, frilly towels in my bathroom.”
- “I need both sides of my closet for myself.”
- “Sorry, I’ll no longer be taking any more questions at this time.”
- “Because my coupled-up friends don’t seem THAT happy.”
- “My cat doesn’t like meeting new people.”
- “Why aren’t you single?”
- “Are you flirting with me?”
- “Why?”
- “Who else is going to be the cool, rich, aunt/uncle in this family?”
- “Because I don’t want to share my fries.”
- “I listen to “Riding Solo” by Jason Derulo every morning in the shower and it really shows a lack of commitment if I’m in a relationship.”
- “I just love spending time with me.”
- “You tell me!”
- “Because I choose to be.”
- “Why are you still asking me this question, Grandma?”
- “Why are you?!”
- “I don’t know, why don’t you ask the jerk who dumped me last week? Any more questions?”
- {immediately starts to cry}
- “Ugh. How much time do you have?”
- “Why are you still annoying?”
- “Because I don’t want beard clippings in my sink.”
- “I ate the last one with fava beans and a nice bottle of chianti.” (Warning, not all your family members will be up to date on their Hannibal Lector references – proceed with caution)
- “Because I haven’t met someone as great as me yet.”
- “I’m not, I found “The One” and it’s me.”
- “Define single…”
- “What makes you think I’m single?”
- “Why are you still in a loveless relationship?”
- “Ask Adele”
- “Because I don’t want sports jerseys hanging on my wall.”
- “Wait, who are you again?”
- “Because the world just isn’t ready for alllll of THIS.”
- “When life gives you lemons…”
- “When in Rome…”
- “I’m holding out for Ryan Reynolds.”
- “I’m in a relationship with Netflix.”
- “Because I don’t want plants and candles scattered around my apartment.”
- “Cuz I’m Neo and I’ve freed my mind from the Matrix.”
- “Because I don’t like sharing my wine.”
- “You expect me to try and start a family in this economy?”
- “It’s a supply chain issue.”
- “I hate sharing my snacks. Actually, I just hate sharing.”
- “Idk it’s on-brand for me.”
- “I have really bad morning breath.”
- “Because I like binging reality tv shows without any eye-rolling from others.”
- “I turn into an ogre when the sun goes down.”
- “Have you seen the gas prices???”
- “Because I don’t want to watch football on Sundays.”
- “My dog ate my dating app.”
- “Because I like having a clean apartment at all times.”
- “I guess I’m just too good for anyone.”
- “Because I’d rather have 5 dogs than a partner.”
- “Have you seen what’s out there..?”
- “Because I said so.”
- “Because why not?”
- “I do what I want”
- “Because my own company is better than anyone else’s.”
Again, don’t let anyone take these too seriously. Sometimes, the best way to shut someone’s (annoying) question down is to say something just weird enough that they’re simply too confused to respond. At the end of the day, don’t forget that you can and should own being single. It’s YOUR journey and you don’t have to answer to anyone except YOU. You got this!
