Tag: ready for relationship

7 Signs You’re In It For the Long Haul

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It’s not always easy to know if the person you’re currently dating is in fact, “The One.” If you’re not entirely sure your SO is in it for the long haul, go through these 7 signs of commitment that will leave you certain they are.

  • You Want to Spend All the Free Time You Can With Each Other: Of course you’ll want to have your alone time and schedule dates with your friends and family, but if you’ve been together for a while now and still value your time together as a couple, that’s a pretty great sign.
  • Taking Trips Together: Travelling as a couple means that both of you want to make lasting memories together to think back on in the years to come. Travelling with your significant other can be a big step in any relationship and you will most likely face challenges in a different environment. If you both actively work through anything that comes up on a trip together, then odds are you know how to effectively communicate with one another.
  • Going Out of Your Way for Each Other: If you find yourself going the extra mile to make your partner happy, it’s a sign your spark is still lit and you haven’t become complacent in your relationship.
  • Purchases Becoming ‘Ours’: Combining finances or making larger purchases together such as a car or home require a level of commitment from both of you that is evidence you’re ready for a future together.
  • Exchanging Keys: If you don’t live together just yet and decide to give each other access to your home by swapping keys, this is a huge sign of trust that may lead to a greater step in your relationship – moving in together.
  • You’ve Seen Each Other at Your Worst: In the beginning of any new relationship, everyone is usually on their best behaviour. Overtime when you’re getting to know someone better, their true self  is exposed through various situations life throws your way. A partner who has seen all sides to you and loves you for who you are, hold onto them.
  • Planning Your Futures Together: Nothing says commitment like thinking about your future with one another. If you and your partner have a 5 year plan that factors one another into it and you’re working together to support and accomplish each others goals, you are definitely in a healthy and committed relationship.

If you notice these points to be true of your current relationship, it might be time to start thinking of that engagement ring to keep your partner in your life forever!

Are You Actually Ready For A Relationship?

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Wanting to be in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re ready for a relationship. A big mistake a lot of women make is thinking that getting into a relationship is simply a matter of the prefect guy showing up, and the reason that they are still single because all the guys they’ve been out with our duds.

That’s not what it’s about, though. You can have dates lined up for every night of the week with the greatest men in all the land and you will still stay stuck in the same spot if you’re not ready to be in a relationship. There are several telltale signs that you are not ready to be in a relationship, but really there is only one major sign that you are ready. And that is…

You know what a relationship actually is!

Huh?! OK, let’s go a little deeper. The reason so many people have a hard time finding love, or making a relationship last is they don’t know what a relationship is. Instead, their minds are clouded with ideas and illusions of what a relationship should be and how it should feel and this gives them false hopes and expectations which inevitably come crashing down, leaving them broken once again and forced to pick up the pieces and keep plugging along.

A lot of us feel like we are “not enough.” We have this feeling of emptiness that lurks deep inside and we just want to fill it and feel OK. The mistake we often make is thinking that a relationship is what will fill us up, what will complete us, what will be that missing piece that will make it all OK. But that isn’t the job of a relationship, or of a man. Only you can give yourself that feeling of being complete, of being OK, of feeling confident in who you are. When you outsource the task to someone else, you will never evade that feeling of emptiness and not being enough.

A relationship isn’t a panacea for everything that has gone wrong in your life. It won’t grant you happiness, self-esteem, completion, worthiness, or feelings of being good enough. A relationship can certainty enhance positive feelings within you, but it can’t be the sole provider.

Healthy relationships are other-oriented, they are about giving and growing together as a unit. Unfortunately, many people have this backwards and are takers in their relationships. They look at what they can get, not what they can give.

When you come from this place, a relationship is really just ego fuel. This is why so many women get trapped in a cycle of going after men who can’t or won’t give them what they want. There is nothing more validating than winning over the guy who claims he does not care to be won. Rather than realizing you can’t have a relationship with a man who won’t commit, they get caught in a cycle of trying to win him over. It’s exciting and it’s dramatic and it’s intense. But it isn’t real. And it’s also a big sign you aren’t ready to be in a relationship

Getting caught up in guys like that is an escape from your real life. You get so caught up in him that you can forget about your problems and what you need to deal with.

The truth is, good relationships are pretty boring and uneventful. The stable guy isn’t as exciting because there is no hunt, there is no guesswork, there is no wondering how he feels and analyzing everything about him for hours on end with your girlfriends because you just know. The true sign that you are ready for a relationship is when you can realize that this is a good thing, that this is the goal. And when you can see this other person for who he is, not what he can give to you in order to make you feel good about yourself. It’s when you don’t need him to feel worthy. Essentially, it’s being with a guy because you want him, not because you need him. That is the key that makes all the difference.