5 Relationship Red Flags You’re Overlooking

They delay the intro to parents and friends

Relationships that are going somewhere have a natural progression, so if you’re 6 months in and you still haven’t met mom and dad or anyone from the social circle, it may be time to raise and eyebrow and discuss whether or not you are on the same page. If you’re thinking this this the road to marriage and they’re stoked on this being secret sex, one of you should probably pull the plug.

If someone continuously provides excuses for why you haven’t been integrated into their lives in any real way (HIS PARENT’S ARE ALWAYS OUT OF TOWN, HIS FRIENDS WORK WEIRD HOURS!), don’t stay along for the ride in hopes things will change.

They need to know where you are at all times

 At first it can seem romantic – he’s always so sweet when he asks what I’m doing 26 times every day! As time goes on,  clingy behavior is just going to intensify, so it’s definitely a red flag when someone you’re dating starts to show the early signs of being possessive.

Their exes are “crazy”

No one wants their current partner to remain BFF’s with their ex, but if you’re constantly hearing about all of their psychotic exes, it may be time to consider the one common denominator in these situations. Often, particularly in the beginning stages of a relationship, it’s impossible to see the person you’re dating treating anyone badly – after all, you’re happy with them, right?! But if someone has nothing remotely positive to say about any past loves, the problem most likely starts closer to home, so pay attention.

They constantly praise you

This seems out of left field, but when someone constantly bombards you with compliments, it can mean something is off. When you’re put on a pedestal it’s impossible to feel like you can actually be yourself, and you’re left questioning your partner’s sincerity motives. At the end of the day, it’s also just pretty creepy.

They can’t be serious

As we know, life is not always a box of chocolates, so having a sense of humor is incredibly important when it comes to dating. However, if you’re going to do life with someone, an ability to grasp serious situations and act appropriately is required. If you can’t have an earnest conversation with your partner about something going on in your life, or even ask for advice or get in a disagreement without jokes being made at every turn, it’s an indication of a bigger communication problem.

Online Dating Behavior That Leads To Marriage

“How do you know when you’ve found The One?”

It may be the same old question, but in 2016, the interpretation has evolved some. Sure, The One can be the person who makes you dream of marriage and babies, but it can also be the person who makes you temporarily stop swiping left. Its 2016, and The One can be The One for right now.

Either way, when it comes to decisions concerning our love lives, we’re often looking for some sort of sign (or reassurance) that we’re on the right track.

Knowing this, PlentyOfFish surveyed more than 1100 former PlentyOfFish users who married someone they met on the site to gain insight into the specific behavior – both online and offline, that means you’re headed for a relationship of the serious variety.

The right first moves:

We decided to ask our married couples about the content of the first message their partner sent them online, and the answers were pretty surprising. In fact, 35% of married women actually contacted their current partner first, serving as inspiration for women who are still on the fence when it comes to making the first move.

The majority of respondents who received the first message from their partner reported them mentioning something specific from their profile that caught their eye.

The second most common message? An underwhelming, “Hey, what’s up?”, basically confirming that yes, your future husband may be lost in the sea of generic messages that is your inbox. At least give him until the second or third message to pique your interest before you write him off completely.

Question: What did the first online message from your partner entail?

I messaged them first! 39.63%
They highlighted something in my profile that caught my eye 16.59%
They told a funny joke or story 2.89%
A generic, “Hey, what’s up?” greeting 14.75%
They complimented my profile images 7.71%
They asked me something about myself 8.68%
They brought up mutual interests 7.62%
We met using MeetMe 2.12%

The right feeling:

Almost 1 in 5 men reported falling in love with their current partner at first sight, and were smitten faster than their female counterparts.

Since the vast majority of the married respondents also believed in soulmates, we wanted to know what it was that made someone one. It turns out, the most important indicators were sharing similar beliefs, considering your partner your best friend, and sharing a connection you can’t explain.

Question: What’s the top trait that makes someone your soulmate?

Mutual attraction 1.79%
Honesty/loyalty 10.47%
They make you laugh 4.11%
You share similar interests 1.43%
You share similar beliefs and core values 14.49%
They put your needs before their own 2.15%
They’re your best friend 23.70%
You share a connection you can’t explain 41.86%

In the end, the most important underlying point from the findings is that singles should stick with it when it comes to dating. All of our couples who met on PlentyOfFish were once going through the ups and downs of looking for love as well.

Question: What is the best piece of advice you wish someone had told you when you were dating online?

It will all be worth it in the end 23.18%
Send and reply to more messages 4.44%
Forget about having a “type” and follow your heart 43.98%
Allow yourself to have fun 22.49%
Say “Yes” to more dates 5.92%

Some people know immediately when they’ve found the right person, and for others, it takes a while. Open your mind and look past an underwhelming first message, or a preconceived “type” of person you want to date – you may surprise yourself!

5 Tips For Travelling As A Couple

Gearing up for your first major trip with your partner? You’ve most likely already been bombarded by helpful reminders about HOW MUCH A TRIP WILL REVEAL ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP/COMPATIBILITY, ETC ETC, so how about we skip all that, and cut right to the good stuff? Below are our 5 best tips for travelling a couple.

Be Prepared

Before you get to where you’re going, it’s IMPERATIVE that you plan, and pack appropriately to avoid a logistical nightmare down the line. Check and double check all equipment. Confirm all accommodations and rentals ahead of time. Pack more portable snacks than you think you’ll ever need. MOST IMPORTANTLY, to minimize the inevitable fights over directions, seriously consider loading your trip into your navigation system whenever possible.

Have Alone Time 

Let’s face it, when you spend every waking moment with another person, especially while tackling new cultures and unexplored frontiers, there will be moments of tension. And that’s O.K.! When you travel with your partner, you’re finding each other’s limits, and patience is being tested in a major way – most likely before lunch. This is why it’s important to sneak away and get some time to yourself to decompress when you have a moment.

Take solo walk before breakfast to grab a coffee, or schedule an activity without your partner, or plan separate activities for an afternoon. Maybe you’re more of a museum person, and your partner prefers the beach. Indulge your individual interests and reunite in the evening with some new stories to share about your respective days and enjoy the renewed appreciation for each other.

Spoil Yourselves

Whether you’re camping in the outback or hotel-hopping in a cosmopolitan city, treating yourselves to a night or two of luxury (whatever that might look like for you, could be a hot shower, could be a night at a 5-star villa), can be profoundly restorative. Consider making the extra effort or shelling out a little more dough than you usually would for an especially memorable shared experience – you won’t regret it!

Push Each Other

Ever tried eating grasshopper? Why not right now!? Travelling provides a great opportunity to break out of your comfort zone and try new things that might scare us, or even just inconvenience us a little. For instance, maybe you like to sleep in, but when your other half suggests a great spot to watch the sunrise at 5:30am, join them! Maybe you’re more of a hiker than your partner is, and they are quick to dismiss the idea of a long nature walk. Push them to try something new and join you! Shared experiences like this will bring you closer together.  

Document Everything

Take a personal journal with you and sit down in quiet moments to write about the highlights (and lowlights?) of your experiences. What new things are you seeing/tasting/smelling/discovering today? These entries will make for great memories later on, and can be a lot of fun to look back on as a couple. Lastly, you can never take too many photos. So pack your DSLR, your iPhone, your Polaroid camera, and be the annoying tourists who point and snap at e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g – you never know when you’ll be back again.

Bon Voyage!

Only 1/3 Women Will Date A Trump Supporter

New research out of PlentyOfFish is offering a not-so-subtle reminder about the perils of mixing politics and dating, as well as some bad news for Trump supporters who are looking for love.

The data is based on PlentyOfFish research and a survey of over 4000 American singles over the age of 18, illustrating how love lives can be affected by political affiliation.

If you had the upcoming U.S. election planned as a hot conversation topic for your next date and don’t know who your special someone is voting for, probably reconsider bringing this up. Singles are hesitant about dating someone with drastically different political views than their own, with 25% refusing to do so, and 31% being unsure if they would even attempt it.

POF_ElectionSurvey_April4-02

Unsurprisingly, male Donald Trump fans are doing some significant damage to their dating prospects, effectively eliminating 40% of their dating pool by supporting him.

POF_ElectionSurvey_April4-03

Clearly, politics can be a polarizing force, but it’s not deterring people from wanting their voices to be heard. The strong majority of American singles are planning to vote in the upcoming election.

POF_ElectionSurvey_April4-05Bernie Sanders is the most favored candidate among singles polled. A large swathe of singles are Independent – with only 22% identifying as Republican and 31% as Democrat. Effectively proving that many singles will, in fact, be faced with the question of dating across the aisle.

5 Signs You’re Moving Too Fast In A Relationship

When you meet someone you’re excited about, it’s easy to get swept up in the romance and promises of something great as everything unfolds in front of you at lightning speed, but how do you know when to pump the brakes? The truth is, when you rush a relationship you can derail it faster than you can swipe left, so here are 5 signs you’re moving too fast in a relationship:

You’re isolated

Noticing your social life is dwindling in a major way? You used to have a well-rounded life filled with your own passions, your friends and family, your work, your cat, but now it seems that your relationship is sucking up all of your time and energy. Great relationships require balance, so if you’ve suddenly pushed aside things that matter to you in favor of a brand new romance, it’s time to reevaluate. Call your mother.

You’re rebounding

When a long term relationship ends, it’s normal to miss the intimacy that comes with having a significant other. Sometimes, we jump into new relationships right away, even if it isn’t quite the right fit. If you’ve gotten out of a serious relationship less than 6 months ago and are finding yourself on the fast track to another…it’s possible you’re moving too fast. Spend some time alone, take a trip, or learn about something you’ve always been interested in. Set up more of a schedule for yourself and consider scaling back a bit on time with your new guy.

There’s shade from friends

Last week when you were out for brunch with your girlfriends and announced your intention to move in with your guy after 3 months, did you catch a couple of sideways glances? Maybe they’re coming right out with it and telling you to ease off (in which case you don’t need this list), but most often our loved ones don’t want to intrude on our happiness or insult our judgement. The moral of the story is if your friends are dropping hints, it may be time to listen to the people who know you best, and want the best for you.

It’s TMI too soon

If he’s asking you to meet his parents while simultaneously sharing his online banking details and booking your first vacation, and you’re only on week 3, that new Coldplay song he just dedicated to you on the radio (do people still do this?) should sound like ALARM BELLS. It’s important to integrate your significant other into your life, but this is a gradual process, and when it happens all at once it can be incredibly overwhelming. Also, the mystery around not knowing every. single. thing. about your partner is something to be cherished. If the relationship is meant to be, you will most likely end up sharing a bathroom with them, yearning for the early days when you didn’t know everything about each other.

A gut feeling

When you know, you know. Even if 99% of the time things are feeling good with the speed of this new relationship, that 1% deserves some recognition. Sit down with your partner and let them know how you’re feeling.