6 Reasons Why Dating In Your 30’s is Awesome

There seems to be a slight stigma attached to dating in your 30’s. Thanks to Bridget Jones, women who are single in their 30’s are sometimes seen as a failure simply because they haven’t been coupled up. Well it’s time to break that bad rep and start looking at all the positive reasons why dating in your 30’s is actually awesome.

1: You bounce back quicker

No one likes to be rejected but when you have been turned down a few times in your 20’s, you develop thick skin. Dating in your 30’s means you understand that you aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s alright. Ageing not only gives us wisdom , but it also gives us a better perspective on ourselves and the dating scene.

2: You know what you don’t want

Whilst we may still be working out what we do want in life and relationships, usually by your 30’s you have an idea of what you DON’T want! Past experiences and relationships help us fine tune the type of person we desire as a partner.  With age, usually comes clarity, and when we start to look for a partner later on in life, we can have a clearer sense of what expectations and standards we should realistically set.

3: You can identify the time wasters

After a few years of practice in your teens and 20’s you can usually start to identify certain character traits in the people you date.  By our 30’s most of us have had a couple of toxic relationships or perhaps have even had our hearts broken a few times.  The type of men from your past will help you better understand the right sort of man you should attract into your present and future.

4: You have more confidence

Simply because you probably have a clearer sense of who you are, what you want and where you are going. You have been through some turmoil and have come out the other side, which makes you stronger and wiser. Most of the time by this age bracket we have established ourselves in our careers, and friendships and understand that our sense of worth doesn’t come from a man.

5: You understand more about yourself and love

After a few battles of the heart we tend to work out more about ourselves. When we are in our 20’s we think we know it all, but it’s not till later down the line we realise we had no idea. Dating in your 30’s means that you have a better understanding of what real love looks like.

6: You have your own purpose and life without a man

Finding love in your 30’s isn’t about needing a man, but rather wanting one that adds to your life in a positive way. We have learnt that we are responsible for our own happiness and that we can survive and thrive without one. Therefore, we take off the impending pressure on a guy or ourselves and learn to just enjoy the ride.

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Is Your Date A Financial Mess?

Wish you could tell if your date is a cash connoisseur or a financial flop? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who wishes they could. Finding your soul mate means searching for someone who has the same values as you, both in and out of the bank account. While a financial mess doesn’t need to be a deal breaker, it’s something you may want to know about the other person sooner rather than later to discover if you’re truly compatible. Might not be first date material, but if they aren’t honest with you about their finances, it makes you wonder what else they might not be telling you about.
If you feel it’s a bit too premature to ask your date to log into their online banking so you can take a peek, here are six other ways to tell if your date has made a mess of their money.

1. They Want To Go On A Walk . . . For Every Date

The idea of a romantic stroll sounds great at first. You can get to know each other better, maybe your hands will brush up against one another, with the sweet smell of romance in the air. You know what else this date idea might smell like? A lack of money. If your date always suggests you go on walks, watch movies in the basement or only go for coffee instead of dinner, they may not have much cash in tow.

2. Date on a Thursday? But Payday is Friday!

Weekday dates can be a casual way to get to know your date without staying out all night. But if your date refuses to go out with you on a Thursday, and suggests the following Friday, it might be a sign that they’ve run out of money before their next payday.

3. They’ve Mastered the ‘Fake Reach’ For the Bill

Come on, you know what I’m talking about. The bill comes to the table, and one second after you reach for the bill, they reach for it too. Even before you finish saying, “Oh no, I’ll get it,” their hand is already back in their lap. Even worse is when the cheque comes and your date is nowhere in sight. People have actually mastered this intentionally-timed bathroom trip. If your date is dining and dashing to the bathroom, it may mean they don’t have the cash to pay or are afraid their credit cards may be declined.

4. Their Phone Rings Off the Hook

Before you jump to conclusions and assume they’re talking to 8 other people, consider that a phone ringing non-stop can be a sign of debts in collections. Collectors are relentless and will call repeatedly if your date owes them money. See an 800-number on call display? Look for me in the background waiving two red flags.
Want to solidify your suspicion? Piles of unopened mail at their house are another hint that they’re neglecting their bills.

5. Their Flashy Lifestyle Doesn’t Match Their Job

Impressed by their big ride, chrome rims and leather interior? How about their great taste in designer clothes? Dig that golden tan? If you’re loving what you see, only to find out your date’s flashy lifestyle doesn’t match their job or income level, consider it a buyer beware. What someone appears to be on the outside is absolutely no reflection of what’s happening inside their bank account. In fact, it can often mean the exact opposite.

6. They’ve Got Tons of Baggage . . . Under Their Eyes

No one wants a date with a ton of baggage, and you definitely don’t want to see baggage right under their eyes. Dark circles are an indication of lack of sleep, and one of the most common reasons people can’t sleep is because of money troubles. Try and catch a glimpse of the inside of their wallet. If you see more than one or two credit cards, odds are that your date has got a money mess on the mind.

But Don’t Stress…

Many people get excited thinking they’ve met their soul mate, and then suddenly their love bubble pops once they realize they’re dating someone who has totally opposite views on money. Money conversations should happen early in a relationship, but remember,  just because someone is struggling with their finances doesn’t mean this should be a deal breaker. There are many causes for financial strain – their hours could have been cut at work, they could have taken time off to help a sick relative, or they could have been devastated financially from a previous relationship. Not everyone struggles with money because they’re irresponsible.

Despite the past, there are many ways to tell your date is trying to get on the right track financially for their future. They may have spoken with a professional, created a money plan for themselves and committed to paying down their debt and living within their means. In fact, they may be so committed to a frugal lifestyle that they’re suggesting coffee dates or have bags under their eyes from working overtime!
Have you ever dated a financial mess? Leave your story below to help others know what to watch for!

Captivate Your Date With 3 Qualities

Finding love online has never been easier in this age of technology and endless options at your fingertips. If you’re looking for real love and a lasting relationship there are three key qualities that men look for in women. Here are three key things that can increase your overall appeal.

Your Perceived Beauty

Men are visual creatures and every man has a different standard as to what they find attractive in a women. If there are two women of equal attractiveness, he’ll be more drawn to choose the woman with the happier, more pleasant personality.

This selection is based on perceived beauty because being beautiful is not just about your looks. To a man, beauty is a combination of looks, behavior and character. His attraction develops and grows based on a combination of her charisma, confidence, and ability to be playful.

Your perceived beauty is also affected by your outlook on life. A positive outlook is one of many factors men look for when selecting a long term partner.  They are drawn to positive women and are more likely to stick around when she is optimistic about life.

A Confident Mindset

Confidence is the number one trait that both men and women find most attractive in each other.

A confident woman knows how to show interest in men. Her focus is on men who treat her well and respect her because she decides who to let in to her life.

One of the biggest pitfalls for single women focused on finding love, is that they become consumed by dating different men and engage in tireless conversations about dating so often, the rest of their passions and goals are put on hold.

To find love you must devote time to it, you have to have a life outside of him.  You’re not waiting for a man in order to lead a happy and fulfilling life. A confident woman makes a man earn his way into her schedule instead of putting him in an empty calendar.

Create the Magnetic Connection

To create rapport and build a connection with a man, get him excited to talk about himself.

Show your interest in him and be present. This means, asking questions about him and being engaged in the conversation to show you are tentative and genuinely interested in listening to what he has to say.

Stay focused on the present moment with him. When you make him feel good, he’ll want to be in your company for the long term.

With these 3 easy methods, every woman can become the most attractive version of themselves in their own unique way.

Candace is giving away a free customized guide here on how to practice becoming a more attractive version of yourself.

Online Dating Tips for the Introvert

Picture this: you’ve spent the night out with your girls, getting turnt at the hottest club in town. As you file out into the street, walking gingerly in your heels, you blow kisses goodbye and hop into a cab… just as someone else climbs in through the other door! It’s awkward for a moment, but you agree to share the ride, and tell stories of your epic night along the way. By the time the ride is over, you’ve swapped phone numbers (maybe even a kiss), and the world is aglow with the potential of a new romance…

Sounds exhausting, right?

If you’re an introvert, a meet-cute like this is just not for you. In fact, you’d probably rather find someone online, sharing long, soul-spilling emails with potential partners like Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. And guess what? That’s okay! In fact, it’s practically the norm: it is believed that one-third of modern marriages got their start on the Web. Online dating is a phenomenon, and for many introverts who are tired (or afraid) of the traditional dating scene, the Internet can be the perfect solution.

But with so many people looking for love online, how will you know who’s right for you? For all it’s good qualities, the Internet can feel scary. But by following just a few tips, you’ll be able to suss out your soulmate from the World Wide Web.

Get Personal With Your Profile

With online dating, even more so than in the world, you have to “put yourself out there.” In a real-world setting, prospective partners can learn about you from your body language, facial expressions, and behavior; here, there is only your profile. So make sure the profile screams “you!”

And we mean the REAL you. Everyone likes “spending time with friends,” “watching the sunset,” and “cuddling by the fire.” Be specific about your interests, and don’t hold anything back. Are you an avid hiker who spends your mornings meditating on mountaintops? Write it down. Do you spend your Saturdays writing fan-fiction about the best friend adventures of Gandalf, Magneto, and Dumbledore? Put it in the profile. Do you breed madagascar hissing roaches? Let the world know!

According to Christie Hartman, Ph.D., many people stick to the basics when building their online profile. They are afraid of “sounding too different or too odd, not realizing that it actually backfires.” But the people you’re looking to connect with are the people who share your interests (or at least think they are interesting). So let your true colors show!

Check For Personality Clues

You want the people you meet online to share your interests. But you also want to make they have what you’re looking for. Pay attention to clues in their profile that reveal the man (or woman) behind the screen.

Do you want a fellow introvert you can cuddle with quietly? Look for someone whose interests line up with the quiet life – reading, movies, etc. Do you want an extrovert to bring you into his active social life? Look for a profile filled with pictures from parties. These little clues will point you towards the person you want to be with!

Try A Specific Site

Remember all those interests we talked about before? The things that make you the unique and amazing person you are? Well, for those of us searching for some who truly understands our likes and dislikes, niche dating sites exist! Whether you are a cat lover or a Dr. Who fanatic, there is a site for you! Many introverts have tremendous passion when it comes to their hobbies, so sites like these can be a good way to meet someone with whom you’ll feel a connection. And besides, even if you don’t find a soulmate, you might end up with a whole bunch of new friends!

Go On A Date!

Yes, yes, this one may seem obvious, but it’s important! After all the time you spent building a profile, searching for matches, and getting past the (horribly awkward) initial small talk via text and email, you deserve a date. Get out of your comfort zone, get face-to-face with your online match, and have fun! Who knows, maybe you’ll be in the lucky one-third of folks who found their soulmate on the screen.

Why Pokemon Go Will Never Be A Dating App

Pokémon Go has taken the world by storm. People are playing it on the bus, at work, in the bushes and even on dates! 

Pokémon Go, does encourage people to peel themselves off the couch and get outside; but, contrary to popular belief, Pokémon Go is not, and never will be a dating app. 

Here are my top ten reasons why Pokémon Go will never beat meeting singles on real dating apps like PlentyOfFish

You’re too busy “catching them all” instead of  devoting time to converting your Pokéstop meet ups into real dates.

You don’t know if your fellow Poké player is, in fact, single because they have zero “dating” information on their Poké profile.

You’re simply missing out on a sea of single people that aren’t interested in playing Pokémon – you’re limiting your options.

You’re looking at your phone instead of making eye contact with your date, because you can’t help but watch your incubated egg hatch into the Pokémon you’ve always wanted it to be. 

There is a limited window of time to meet potential matches through Pokémon Go, because people tend to play mostly during the day. On a dating app, millions of users are logged in all day and night, making your opportunities for meeting people endless. 

Poké dates inevitably result in you being on your phone constantly, causing you to be distracted further by incoming texts and phone calls. You just broke first date etiquette 101. 

The anonymity of meeting someone during game play, doesn’t let you screen them prior to your face to face meet. Say goodbye to creeping them on Facebook and Instagram. 

You find your date is a little too invested in catching MewTwo than asking questions about you – your family, where you grew up and your interests outside of Pokémon Go. You want to find commonalities and shared hobbies with one another that goes beyond the game. 

The lack of a live chat feature on Pokémon Go doesn’t allow for any initial flirt or courtship prior to meeting in person. 

You’re not living in the moment when you meet someone at a Pokéstop, because all you can think about is raising your character’s CP (combat points) for their next battle. Your #1 priority is playing the game, not sparking up conversation with the single next to you.

 

Only 1/3 Women Will Date A Trump Supporter

New research out of PlentyOfFish is offering a not-so-subtle reminder about the perils of mixing politics and dating, as well as some bad news for Trump supporters who are looking for love.

The data is based on PlentyOfFish research and a survey of over 4000 American singles over the age of 18, illustrating how love lives can be affected by political affiliation.

If you had the upcoming U.S. election planned as a hot conversation topic for your next date and don’t know who your special someone is voting for, probably reconsider bringing this up. Singles are hesitant about dating someone with drastically different political views than their own, with 25% refusing to do so, and 31% being unsure if they would even attempt it.

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Unsurprisingly, male Donald Trump fans are doing some significant damage to their dating prospects, effectively eliminating 40% of their dating pool by supporting him.

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Clearly, politics can be a polarizing force, but it’s not deterring people from wanting their voices to be heard. The strong majority of American singles are planning to vote in the upcoming election.

POF_ElectionSurvey_April4-05Bernie Sanders is the most favored candidate among singles polled. A large swathe of singles are Independent – with only 22% identifying as Republican and 31% as Democrat. Effectively proving that many singles will, in fact, be faced with the question of dating across the aisle.

POF Survey Reveals 80% of Millennials Have Been Ghosted!

PlentyOfFish recently surveyed 800 millennial daters between the ages of 18-33 and almost 80% of singles answered YES to having been ghosted (someone they were dating suddenly ceased all communication without an explanation)!

 

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Surprising? Not entirely.

This percentage is high but it is also to be expected. Online dating is a great platform to meet a plethora of singles versus 10-15 years ago when we were limited to dating within our immediate social circle. When you meet someone online, go on a couple of dates and come to the realization it isn’t going anywhere, your immediate reaction may be to trigger the avoidance tactic. You send messages few and far between in hopes your date takes the hint.

Since the likelihood of running into this person down the road is low, paired with the convenience of hiding behind a device, millennials have opted to take the easy way out by ghosting one another instead of giving a clear, “I’m just not that into you,” answer.

I think I speak for most when I say, all singles want is honesty. 

So now you may be asking, “Ghosting Scott last week wasn’t the best thing to do?!”

Ding Ding you’re correct!

Ghosting Scott was a poor choice on your part and I am here to tell you what to do when ghosting feels like the only option!

SCENARIO ONE: “I’ve gone on one date with Scott, ONE DATE, do I need to let him know I’m not interested?”  

Accordingly to the PlentyOfFish survey, 40% of singles will follow up 1-2 days after a first date if they see the potential in a second. Therefore, if Scott messages saying he had an absolute blast and would like to see you again, the appropriate response would be to let him know, unfortunately, you didn’t feel a spark but wish him all the best! At least a quick heads up will let Scott know he can move onto the next.

If Scott does not follow up after the date; it is evident the both of you are on the same page and a message is unnecessary.

SCENARIO TWO: “Scott and I were dating for two weeks before I ghosted him. Now I feel guilty because he was a great guy and he’s been messaging me but there is zero text banter and absolutely no spark.”

You can still make amends based on two factors; how long you’ve ghosted them for and when they last sent you a message. If it’s been over two weeks, let’s not rub salt in the wound.

If you haven’t spoken to Scott for under two weeks while he’s been trying to reach out, you can clear the air by sending a quick apology text as to why you’ve been MIA for the last week and that he’s genuinely a sweet guy, but unfortunately there is no connection for you.

If you’ve cut off all communication for over two weeks and Scott hasn’t reached out for over a week, there is no follow up required. He got the picture. And you never know, maybe Scott is within the 14% of singles from the PlentyOfFish survey, who admitted to having scheduled multiple dates for one day/night! Scott wastes no time!

SCENARIO THREE: “I ghosted Scott after a couple dates because I wasn’t ready at the time, but now I regret my decision and want to give it another shot! Can I message him?” 

If you don’t give it a proper go, you will never know. You have to consider and respect that Scott may have moved on to dating someone else while you were flip-flopping. The best thing to do here is draft up a message to Scott admitting your cold feet the first time but that you would love to get together for a coffee/drink on Saturday if he is interested!

Worst case scenario, Scott doesn’t reply. That’s okay, you’ve just been given a taste of your own medicine and you move on.

Or.

You may be pleasantly surprised and Scott agrees to take you up on your offer.

“Ghosting” has become the newest trend when ending a relationship, but we have the ability to change that by revisiting the “old school” method of honest communication. At the end of the day, 73% of single millennials are all looking for one thing, a serious relationship. Don’t waste each others time!

5 Reasons Why Self-Love is Important for Relationships

Everyone dreams of having a happily ever after type of relationship, but not everyone is willing to do the work required to get that type of relationship. You want to know the bold truth? Love is doomed without self-love. You need that foundation prior to stepping into relationships.

Rather than jumping from unhappy relationship to unhappy relationship… take a break and utilize that time to get to know you. Instead of seeking the love you desire from others, find that love within you first. Self-love is the foundation upon which you build all your other relationships. Everything comes down to how much you love yourself. EVERYTHING.

Don’t believe me? Take a peek at these 5 reasons why self-love is important for relationships:

You’ll attract better.

When you truly love yourself, you shift your energy and begin to attract better people; people who are worthy of your love. Think about it… Like attracts like. If you’re experiencing a depleted sense of self-love, you will attract people with that same depletion and these types of people will take advantage of you. On the other hand, if you have a radical sense of self-love, you’ll attract people who share that radical inner love and these people will treat you incredibly well.
You have to be what you want to attract, so if you want better, be better.

You’ll improve the quality of your relationships.

Codependency becomes impossible when you love yourself because you are now strong enough to stand on your own two feet. When partners lack self-love, the quality of the relationship becomes toxic because you’re simply trying to fill the void rather than build love from within. Relationships become healthy when each partner embodies a healthy dose of self-love.

You’ll show up differently in relationships.

Say goodbye to neediness, insecurity, and jealousy. With self-love, you’ll show up in relationships as a strong, confident, and secure person. You’ll feel whole, which will exterminate the need for external validation. You’ll love from a place of feeling fulfilled, rather than a place of feeling empty, and you’ll understand your needs which will help you communicate effectively with your partner. When you truly love yourself, you’ll know what boundaries you need to set, what you’ll put up with, and when to walk away. You’ll show up as an empowered person when you embody self-love.

Your partners will treat you differently.

You’ll know your worth. You’ll know exactly how you want to be treated, and you won’t settle for less than you deserve. By showing yourself love, you’ll set the tone for how you want others to treat you in a relationship. Your partners will want to treat you differently because they’ll see you treating yourself differently. Simply put, when you treat yourself with love, compassion, and respect, others will treat you the same.

A happily ever after is possible… you just have to experience it with yourself first. The types of people you attract, the quality of your relationships, the way you show up in relationships, and the way others treat you in relationships will all improve when you fuel up on self-love. Stop the cycle of unhappy relationships by establishing a happy relationship with yourself first.

Build your foundation, and love will find you.

Are you a woman who’s ready to reclaim your self-worth and embrace what you truly deserve? Receive Ruby’s free video and guide here

How To Be Irresistible On A First Date

Wouldn’t it be awesome to be absolutely irresistible to everyone you are attracted to? The good news is that you have a lot more control over that happening than you might think because being irresistible is less about them and more about you. Being irresistible is essentially about embracing your awesomeness and having others feel so good in your presence that they simply can’t resist you. Below are my 5 steps to being irresistible which work wonderfully on a first date, in a long-term relationship and on essentially everyone else with a pulse.

1. Give Good Eye

The MOST important part of being irresistible is the way you look at your date. So if you’re not comfortable looking directly into that Cutie’s eye this is definitely an area you will want to practice and improve. I recommend you look directly into their eyes about 70% of the conversation while appreciating their best qualities and savoring being in their presence. This will allow your eyes to naturally emit an electric chemistry which will be very inviting and be very hard for your date to resist.

2. Have A Fun Attitude

You and your date have chosen to spend a little personal time together so enjoy yourself and have a light and breezy demeanor. Choose fun and pleasurable conversations, laugh at their jokes, and freely share that gorgeous smile of yours.

3. Pay Attention

While on your date, turn off your phone and basically ignore everyone else. The only Cutie you need to pay attention to is the one sitting in front of you. In fact I’d like you to imagine that even if a pack of wild coyotes broke down the door you wouldn’t notice because you are just too enthralled with your date. Also feel free to use their name throughout your conversation because it lets them know you are focused on them and helps them feel connected to you.

4. Align Yourself With Their Passions

Everyone’s favorite topic of conversation is THEIR favorite topic of conversation so the best way to have your date enjoying the conversation is to discuss topics THEY enjoy. Perhaps they love discussing their dog, their team, or their favorite place to visit?

Ask them questions about what they are passionate about and they will be much more likely to enjoy their conversation with you and want to spend more time with you in the future. Also while you are learning about their passions make sure to treat what your date says as if they are “gems of wisdom.”

5. Compliment Them

People love spending time with others who appreciate them so let your date know you find them attractive and exciting a few times throughout the date. Sometimes you can actually inspire someone to feel excitement for you simply by letting them know that you are honestly attracted to them! Let your date know exactly what you appreciate most in them, how you’re inspired by them and how much you admire the choices they’ve made in their lives. You’ll get extra points if you also assume your date can do anything successfully.

You are now armed with the information you need to be irresistible to every Cutie you want. The last step is to get out there and practice, practice, practice! The more you practice the more fun you’ll have and the quicker you’ll have that Cutie wrapped around your little finger.

 

For more dating and relationship tips please visit Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and let’s connect on: Facebook Twitter Youtube. If you’d like a lot more dating tips right now please check out my book, “Flirt For Fun & Meet THE ONE” Best of luck to you and I’ll be rooting for you!!!