As we all sit in mourning because the recent season of one of the most brilliant comedic programs – Broad City – has come to an end, it’s imperative to reflect on the lessons learned alongside the protagonists, Abbi and Ilana. The fourth season of Broad City, which aired in September on Comedy Central, took the regular comedic tone of the show and turned it on its head; more character growth, further topical discussion, and of course, life lessons. Each season, viewers garner a deeper insight into Abbi and Ilana’s relationship. This season, within the heavy supply of empowering material, Abbi and Ilana (the creators, not the characters) were sure to throw in some low key lessons of love as well – enthusiastically leading us to explore them.
The 23 year old poet continues to master the composition of producing a catchy tune, and in so doing, provides us with lessons about love…yes that’s right, LOVE.
Prepare to be made a Belieber today, as I take you through the top Love Lessons Learned from Justin Bieber:
Let’s go back to the very beginning of The Bieb’s repertoire.
She’s indecisive She can’t decide She keeps lookin’ From left to right. Girl, c’mon get closer. Look in my eyes, Searching is so wrong, I’m Mr. Right. You can’t make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind. Please don’t waste my time, time, time, time, time
Lesson Learned – When looking for the right match, know what it is you want, so you don’t waste your time or someone else’s by being indecisive. If you’re not ready for a relationship, that’s okay, but be clear in your intent early on to avoid any miscommunication.
Justin feels strongly about this point and reiterates it in his more recent hit – What do you Mean – a story of a man struggling to understand whether his partner wants to go left or right in their relationship.
Be decisive – Thanks for the tip JB!
Don’t Kiss and Tell
And what we do keep it just between us, I don’t wanna see you tweet about J.B. cause, The only people that should know is you and me.
Lesson Learned – You’re dating someone new and want to tell the whole world you’re no longer single. Justin advises it’s best to take it one step at a time, and keep your relationship status off social media until you know you’re in it for the long haul. Try maintaining some sense of privacy in your love life and whatever you do, don’t air your dirty laundry on Facebook. Yikes.
That Should Be Me
That should be me That should be me Giving you flowers. That should be me Talking for hours. That should be me (that should be me) That should be me That should be me Never should’ve let you go I never should’ve let you go.
Lesson Learned – Ugh…that moment you see your ex in the distance with a new boyfriend/girlfriend and as go to hide in a bush, all you can think about is how that ‘should be you holding his hand.’ Bieber understands your pain. Breakups are hard and sometimes we don’t know how great our partner is until we’ve decided to let them go. Think twice before making a decision you may regret down the road.
If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go I can take you places you ain’t never been before Baby, take a chance or you’ll never ever know…Swag swag swag….Chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue I don’t know about me but I know about you So say hello to falsetto in three, two, swag
Lesson Learned – A good boyfriend/girlfriend should want to spend quality time with you and ‘chill by the fire while eatin fondue,’ Justin emphasizes in between the word swag. If you’re date isn’t willing to give you the time of day, it’s safe to say they aren’t worth pursing.
Sometimes the heart can see what’s invisible to the eye All you gotta do is listen to your deepest feelings They don’t ever lie… ….If you want the best for us Like I want the best for us Then we gotta learn to trust right now
Lesson Learned – Trust is a must says JB! Every healthy relationship, including the one with yourself requires it. In order to successfully put yourself out there, you must be able to ‘listen your deepest feelings’ and trust your instincts.
The next time you find yourself caught up in a dating blunder and at a loss for answers, think….what would Justin Bieber do…
Every time I go through a breakup, I do three of three things:
1) Call my mom to get reassurance that “he is absolutely crazy and you’re such a catch.”
2) Order my favorite greasy Chinese food (which embarrassingly always comes with four sets of chopsticks)
3) Pop on a playlist of songs that I can cry with, sing to and feel empowered by!
The final of these three is the inspiration for this blogpost. So without further ado, I present to you Love Lessons Learned from Pop Songs.
“I just need somebody to love…I don’t need too much, just somebody to love”
Well, sh*t who doesn’t? Isn’t that what we are all looking for? Justin Bieber and Ludacris have taught us that we are not alone in this endeavor and that we are all trying to find that special someone. It takes time, so be patient, stay positive and step to the beat of your heart.
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T take care TCB!”
Aretha Franklin sure ain’t lyin! Respect is one of the most important aspects of any relationship whether it be friendship or romantic partner. Without respect, there is a complete lack of understanding of one another which will eventually result in broken hearts. In the famous words of The King of Pop, “don’t stop till you get enough!”
“Oops i did it again…I played with your heart….”
I think we can all relate to this classic line. The question is, how many times have we all been told this in the most indirect way possible? At least Britney is being forthright and completely honest about her actions. It is important to take your time and really get to know what you are both looking for in a relationship. You can figure out whether or not you are on the same page and set boundaries if applicable. For those who have played with your heart, don’t worry as Justin Timberlake would say, “what goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around.” Karma is a b*tch.
“Shake it off”
So now that you’ve gone through the experience of the infamous heartbreaker, pop on that T-Swift album, and shake it off because the playas gonna play and you don’t want any part in their game. What more is there to say?
“Cause you’re amazing just the way you are”
If you feel like you have to change who you are to be with someone, I highly doubt you are truly happy or in the right relationship. You must listen to your instincts, be 100 percent yourself and find that person who loves you just the way you are. I think every female experiences a tingle down their neck and goosebumps on their arms when they hear the buttery voice of Bruno Marrs. We all melt when he sings, cause you’re amazing…just the way you are. That’s exactly how it should be, Bruno’s got it right. We should all be in search for that “endless love,” that Diana Ross and Lionel Ritchie so passionately educated us about in 1981. That type of love where two hearts, two hearts that beat as one….”
These are just a few of the most important love lessons I have learned through some of my favorite artists! Now I want to know what valuable relationship advice you have been taught over the years through your favorite musical poets?!
Ever feel like humans just don’t cut it when it comes to solid dating and relationship advice? Well singles, it may be time to look to man’s best friend for answers. Below are the 5 love lessons you can learn from your pet:
Sometimes no words are needed
Pets are experts when it comes down to sensing energy. They know right away when you had a tough day. You will open the doors to your home and your pet will come greet you in joy and transfer some of that awesome vibrant energy to you… Sometimes that will cheers us up immediately, and sometimes we are so bummed out, that all you wanna do is just sit on your couch and cry… That’s when your pet will sit next to you and support you silently. Take advantage of that, hug your pet tight and cry away!
Who hasn’t been in that situation, when a loved one is super sad and negative and you can’t think of anything to say? No words are needed sometimes… All you have to do is give your support though energy and body warmth. A tight silent hug can do wonders…
Let go of those grudges
Have you noticed how dogs don’t hold grudges (cannot say the same about our feline fellows, they can be real Dbags sometimes, planning revenge on us when they get mad… I love cats, but those guys can be tricky to handle). It is an unnecessary burden, learn your lesson, get mad for a few hours, and move on!
Petting!? That’s right! I did say petting!
Our beloved pets needs are so simple… What makes them happy, you may ask? I’ll tell you what: The little pleasures in life, such as food, shelter, exercise and affection. Petting is a way of showing love. Pet your friends and loved ones with a shoulder rub, a quick stress relieve head massage (I swear by them)… That focused touch with the intention of making them feel better, will take your buddy/loved one’s stress away and you can enjoy each others company and have a great time!
Exercise! Play! Get outside!
Just ditch all the stress and worries and go have a fun session of playing! Have you watched how much fun dogs have playing fetch? Or how much kitties love to stand up and play around with anything that dangles? So many fun things to do, here are some examples: play Frisbee be, play anything with a ball, dance is always fun… The main thing is to have fun moving your body! Go for a hike and get in touch with Nature, it makes you feel rejuvenated…
Enjoy the present!
That is a very important one! We humans sometimes get so caught up planning the future that we can forget about the NOW. About this very instant… Have you noticed how pets live the moment, they do not worry about the past or the future. While it is important to plan for the future, it as just as important to enjoy the present moment.
Those are some of the love lessons I’ve learned from pets… Be more simple, worry less, play more and share your Love! Makes life much more enjoyable… Give it a try if you haven’t done so yet!
Spring is here! This is the time of year when people clear out their closets, clean their homes, and refresh their wardrobes. But what about the other stuff? The stuff that actually matters? The stuff that you bury in your heart? The stuff that you are too scared to face?
Yea, that stuff.
I call this relationship clutter. It’s old baggage from past relationships – baggage that we either consciously or subconsciously cling to. This clutter is the reason why you’ve found yourself in a cycle of mediocre, awful, or toxic relationships. If you feel as though your relationships seem to embody the same theme… it’s because they do. When you hold onto your relationship clutter, you’re holding onto those stories; you replay events over and over again, driving yourself to insanity. Then you find yourself going out on another date with another mistake because you have yet to learn your lesson.
It’s time for you to spring clean your relationship clutter. Let go of the stories, release the past, and make room for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. You can do so by following these 3 steps:
Recognize Your Clutter
Ask yourself: “What old relationship stories am I holding onto?” Are you holding onto stories of being cheated on? Being dumped? Or feeling neglected? Take some time to reflect back on your past relationships… What did you walk away with? How were you left feeling? Recognize each and every single one of these stories so that you can finally accept their presence in your life.
Acknowledge The Clutter’s Affect On Your Life
How does your old relationship clutter affect you? What type of impact does it have on new relationships? I’m going to assume the impact isn’t positive. When you hold onto past relationship stories, you’re allowing those stories to hold power over you. They will seep into every new relationship experience, tarnishing it from becoming something different. For example, if you’re holding onto stories of being cheated on, you’ll probably find yourself living a ‘victim’ mentality and won’t be willing to trust a new partner. This is how you end up in a toxic relationship cycle. Go ahead – take note of how each past experience holds power over your current life. If you want to gain your power back, you’ve got to clean out the clutter.
Release The Clutter
This step is all about your willingness to move forward. It’s time to release your old relationship clutter. This is where you start dropping F-Bombs, aka FORGIVENESS. You’re probably cringing at the F-word, but that’s because you don’t fully understand how forgiveness serves you. Forgiveness does not condone another person’s actions; it’s about allowing yourself the freedom to let go. The more anger and resentment you hold against another human being, the stronger the bond. Think about it… Remember your ex? The one who cheated on you? How many times a day do you think about them? How have your thoughts about them negatively impacted new relationships? You’ve basically rendered yourself powerless to this person! It’s time to let go. Forgive them, forgive yourself, and cut the ropes that keep you tied to your past. Clean out every single piece of relationship clutter from your subconscious knowing that by doing so, you’ll create space for healthier, more positive relationships. FYI: If you’re having difficulty with this step, I would question your willingness to actually create change.
Relationship clutter is comprised of all our old wounds, hurts, and scars. But guess what? These things heal! You just have to allow them the opportunity to heal. It’s time for you to get rid of that stuff. It’s time for you to rid yourself of these old wounds. And Spring is the perfect time to begin cleaning out your relationship clutter.
- When I was 25, I thought we needed to be opposites to attract. And in a sense, we all wind up with our opposite; after all, none of us weds our clone. But did you know? People fight about their differences, not their similarities. Hundreds of studies all over the world show that like attracts like. So now I’ve got someone I like, who’s like me in all the important ways (personality, values, goals, dreams) and some of the less-important ways.
- When I was 25, I thought we had to share all the same interests. And we do need to share some interests. But all? No. My husband recently went to Africa while I stayed home and wrote a book. We had great stories to share, him of safaris, me of academic pursuits, when he returned. Fantastic!
- When I was 25, I thought my man had to be cool. But what he really has to be is kind and respectful. My husband is. Did you know that in almost 40 years of research, the big picture is that if you can find and be someone kind and respectful, you’ll thrive at love—and if you can’t, you won’t? Yep. Truth.
- When I was 25, I thought he had to have a great butt. Okay, he does have a great butt.
- When I was 25, I thought independence was vital. But interdependence is much, much more important. Being able to rely on the one you love is highly valued in at least 37 cultures where these things have been researched. And the most important question you can ask is about “we”, not “me”: Are you on my side? Make sure that’s a Yes, because that’s THE question that never stops mattering.
- When I was 25, I thought that love was enough. Sorry, Beatles; it’s not all you need. Almost everyone in the USA marries for love, yet about 47% of first marriages end in divorce. If love by itself was enough, that wouldn’t happen. Turns out we need similarity, kindness, respect, and friendship too.
- When I was 25, I thought sex was the end-all, and that I should have sex quickly in a relationship to find out whether I wanted to know more about someone. And sex is definitely important; don’t get serious about anyone you don’t want to put your hands all over, who doesn’t want the same with you. But sex-first, questions-later broke my heart, and for many folks, it does something even worse: It breaks lives—health, families, children’s futures, bank accounts, and the ability to have faith in future relationships. Factually speaking, casual sex is rarely casual. In studies, 3/4ths of women and 1/4th of men say they have trouble remaining emotionally distant even in a friends-with-benefits arrangement. Another study found that almost half of women, and about a tenth of men, had used casual sex to try to create commitment. So yes, I chose someone who rang my bell. But I didn’t let him ring it until after we’d first laid the groundwork.
- When I was 25, I thought I didn’t need someone who could/would take care of me. But I adulthood is just too dang hard to do on our own. Partnership is about taking care of one another, and sooner or later, we all need it. For me, I wound up needing to be taken care of through open-heart surgery while I was still young. I needed help raising our daughter; I’d been a single parent, and boy, did that suck! I needed someone to listen and care about my day. Of course, my husband has needs too, and it is my honor and privilege to take care of him. We’re human; we evolved to need and to be needed. I chose someone who wants me to take care of him, and who wants to take care of me too.
- When I was 25, I thought I needed someone with advanced degrees. What I found out was that I needed my peer—my equal. Vic and I don’t have the same number or level of degrees; we do have the same levels of achievement and intellectual curiosity in the areas we’re interested in. Pick a peer. Remember, that peer may not have exactly your set of credentials. But they are your equal nonetheless.
- When I was 25, I thought I needed someone who felt like home. And it’s true, I needed someone who made me feel totally comfortable in my skin; whose love made me want to be my best self. But most of us don’t need to pick the same issues we grew up with. Too many of us choose someone who pushes the same buttons that got pushed in our families of origin. Pick wisely; choose someone who heals rather than worsens your issues.
With the third season of Netflix’s “House of Cards” right around the corner, there’s no better time than now to reflect on the wise teachings of Congressman-turned-Vice-President-turned-President Francis Joseph “Frank” Underwood.
Besides being a master of manipulation and murder, Frank is also an expert in love, so before you grab the ribs, pull up Netflix and pop a squat on the coach for the next three days, let’s take a look at the eight best lessons Frank Underwood taught us about love.
Note: If you have not seen the second season of “House of Cards,” or if you’ve never even watched the show (shame on you!), you might not want to read this article – just sayin’.
“I love that woman. I love her more than sharks love blood.”
If you can love someone as much as Jaws loves attacking beach-goers, then you’ve got yourself a match, and Frank found himself a match in Claire.
“A great man once said, ‘Everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about power.’”
Sex is an important part of any relationship, but Frank isn’t naïve enough to assume there isn’t an underlying power play always going on. His relationship with Zoe proved that.
“I should have thought of this before. Appeal to the heart, not the brain.”
Most of the time, love and logic don’t go hand in hand, and Frank used this to his advantage when he tried hustling Donald Blythe for his vote.
“When we care too much, it blinds us.”
Frank only loves a few people, and Freddy is definitely one of them. However, he doesn’t let that love cloud his vision when it comes to doing what’s best for him. Can you say the same?
“He can go after me all he wants, but to go after my wife? No class.”
If you’re not going to stick up for the ones you love, who will?
“Did Zoe expect me to twiddle my thumbs until her arrival? Perhaps she’s making the mistake thinking her time is as valuable as mine. Proximity to power deludes some into believing they wield it. I put an end to that sort of thinking before it begins.”
Always remember that you have control over your life and your relationships – no one else does. Frank doesn’t sit around waiting for a man to call, and you shouldn’t either!
“Did you smell that? The smugness, the false deference. She thinks I can be bought with a pair of tickets. What am I? A whore in post-war Berlin salivating over free stockings and chocolate. What she’s asking will cost far more than that.”
Don’t let anyone, especially someone you’re dating, treat you less than what you deserve.
“There are two kinds of pain. The sort of pain that makes you strong or useless pain. The sort of pain that’s only suffering. I have no patience for useless things.”
After a bad date, fight or breakup, let those things give you strength instead of drowning your sorrows in a bowl of mac and cheese the size of your head. (Or maybe do that after the mac and cheese. No judgment!)
So the next time you’re contemplating your next move in love or in life, think about what Frank Underwood would do. Tap, tap!