If you’re in a relatively new relationship, you may be feeling the pressure of whether or not to bring them home for the holidays this year. If you’re feeling completely unsure, you’re definitely not alone – it’s totally normal to feel this way. Family gatherings can be stressful enough, but adding the holiday season and a new partner into the mix can be enough to overwhelm anyone.
Taking your partner home to spend the holidays with your family is a big step, and not for the faint of heart. If you’re considering taking the plunge this year, think about the following questions first to ensure both of you are prepared and ready.
How Will Their Personality Mesh With Your Family?
Bringing your partner home for the holiday means a lot of quality time with your family, which means a lot of personalities in one place at one time. Consider how your partners’ personality might mesh with your family’s’ and if you think the time together will be worth it for whatever stage of your relationship you’re in. If your family is very extroverted and your partner is on the quieter side, or vice versa, it can sometimes make for a tense holiday that might be more stressful than it’s worth. If it seems like your partners’ and family’s personalities will mesh wonderfully then fantastic, but if you’re not sure how everyone will get along it’s important to consider if you think your relationship is at a point where spending time with your family is important regardless of any potential tension.
What Are Their Holiday Traditions/Attitudes?
Everyone spends the holidays differently. If you and your partner haven’t discussed each of your holiday traditions, it’s a good idea to do so before deciding whether or not you’d like to bring them home with you this year. What holiday does each of you celebrate? What does your typical holiday schedule consist of? These are both two very important questions to answer in order to make sure both of your expectations are reasonable for your time together. Some families have enormous family dinners and jam-pack their winter break full of activities, while others prefer to take it easy and keep things more intimate and low-key. If your partner is used to a holiday season vastly different than what they might experience with your family, it may impact both of your decisions on whether or not you want to bring them home with you.
Are You Prepared For All The Questions?
No matter what your family’s personalities or values are, there are always going to be a lot of questions asked when bringing a partner home for the first time. The two of you will likely get bombarded with things more personal than you’d like, or questions you haven’t even discussed with one another yet. Make sure you’ve both had a conversation about what to expect, especially if you know your family can be particularly nosy.
Are You Both On The Same Page With Your Relationship?
One of the most important things to talk about before bringing your partner home with you is where your relationship stands, and what you both mean to each other. As silly as it may seem, discussing things like labels can save you the awkwardness of an introduction that one of you wasn’t prepared for. It’s also a good idea to talk honestly about where you see the relationship going so you both have an answer when the question undoubtedly comes up due to the above. If you don’t feel ready to think about or talk about your future as a couple, you may not be ready to have them spend time with your family yet, so it’s best to think carefully.
Do You Both Feel Ready To Take This Step?
All of the above questions don’t truly matter unless this one can be answered with a resounding yes. It’s super important that you and your partner have an honest conversation about whether or not you’re both ready to spend the holidays with family. If one of you is on the fence, it might be best to wait until next year. Holidays can be high-pressure enough as it is, so make sure you take care of yourselves and your relationship first!