I have a confession to make – I, Kate MacLean, have been a Love Loiterer in the past. Yes, I shamefully admit I strung someone along for months when I knew I didn’t really want a relationship with them long term. Thank goodness I have since matured and grown out of the phrase of being a time wasting 20 year old Love Loiterer.
Love Loiterer (as defined by Plenty of Fish): those who drag out the early stages of dating and have no intention of committing long term.
Honestly, no one likes a time waster and that’s why Plenty of Fish surveyed over 1,700 British singles to find out how many infamous Love Loiterers walk among us and how to spot the signs they’re wasting your time. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, we’re revealing some of the most outlandish (albeit hilarious) excuses singles have used to avoid going on a date.
The Love Loiterer Spell
A surprising two thirds (66%) of Brits have experienced a ‘love loiterer’ while searching for a partner. Furthermore, the average person spends almost eight and a half months of their love lives in limbo only to find it fizzles out like a day old room temperature pop. EIGHT AND A HALF MONTHS! So what are we missing here? Evidently there are quite a few red flags and signs to be aware of when you’re scoping out a time waster.
The Signs of a Love Loiterer
It’s evident we have to get better at sniffing out Love Loiterers. Here’s how to spot and stop one in their tracks. Their top time wasting tactics include:
- Putting minimal effort into arranging dates (67%)
The classic – “What do you wanna do?”
- Taking over 24 hours to reply to your message (60%)
I can see you’ve read my message…you DO realize that don’t you?
- Cancelling plans last minute (57%)
Sits down at restaurant gets a text – “Hey, yeah so I can’t make it – lots of work sorry”
- Claiming their phone battery has died (52%)
Yet you JUST posted to Instagram, how curious.
- Failing to remember basic facts about you (44%)
“So you have kids right?” Um that’s news to me sir.
- Checking their phones regularly while on a date (44%)
Hello, I am real and I am in front of you at this moment in time.
- Not deleting their dating apps (40%)
How can you like me John if you just Super “liked” Susan!
Although it appears there are clear differences across genders; despite women being 20% more likely than men to have dated a Love Loiterer (76% vs. 56%), they are also more likely to admit they have been a time waster than men.
And just when you thought the pandemic put everything to a halt, time-wasting came out on top and continues to be prevalent – three quarters of singles (76%) admit to ghosting someone since lockdown as started and half (52%) of Brit’s say they were left high and dry by their pandemic partner once they were able to return to dating venues. Ouch!
Lessons Learned from Love Loiterers
Although dating a Love Loiterer can cause frustration, it has also taught singles (44%) to really dive deep and figure out what they want and need from a relationship. There is a silver lining here people! Over a third have become more serious about finding a good relationship after having their time wasted in the past.
The Outrageous Excuses Singles Have Ever Used to Skip a Date
Submitted by real Plenty of Fish members. No, we did not make these up!
- My Ex-wife is stuck on the motorway
- My tractor broke down so I had to sleep in a field last night
- I had a really bad blister and I lost my bank card
- I couldn’t work out how to answer your call on my phone
- My car set on fire on the way to meet you
- I’ve moved to another country for work
- I couldn’t get a dog-sitter
- I’ve just had my wisdom teeth out
- My cat has died
- My dog ate my homework
- I had to wash my hair
- It was raining too much
- My mates need me at the pub so they’re not drinking alone
- I’m toilet bound and worried I’ll have an accident if I leave the loo
- My goldfish died
- Me nan’s died
You think you can top these? What is the most outlandish excuse you’ve ever used or been given by someone else? Comment below.