So it happened again; the partner you thought you would spend your life with has become “A stranger you used to know.” It can be traumatizing, and often feels like a part of yourself has been torn away.
In a sense that’s true; considering that you shared so much time together, and have so many significant memories and emotions attached to that person, you really are detaching and starting new.
Some studies have even shown that heartbreak literally causes physically pain, and as anyone who has gone through a bad breakup can testify, the pain is real. “Heartbreak” is really a word which describes the physical feeling.
So, it’s happened and it burns, but now what? In the end it comes down to our focus. We have control over what we focus on and where we channel our energy.
As you read the following suggestions, keep in mind that you wont “feel” like doing any of them. When we are feeling bad it often strips our willpower down to the bare essentials, and we often neglect the things that could help us the most.
Don’t allow the mood of the day to dictate your health and your life. Your decisions will determine whether or not you continue to suffer well into the future, or make a happy recovery sooner than later.
Here are 8 things to get over your last heartbreak and experience a new you – by Christmas!
1. Stop doing it to yourself
The first thing you will need to heal, begins with letting go of the experiences with your last partner. You have a choice to make; continue suffering the heartbreak or focus on a new beginning. If you keep running that old record in your head you will continue to kick up old feelings.
2. Stop the blame game
Part of interrupting the negative thought cycle which keeps repeating, is to stop blaming your former partner. He may have hurt you but your blame is a deflection of responsibility for your own feelings; if someone else is at fault for how you feel then you have no power to make things better for yourself.
3. Focus on yourself
Now it’s time to really go deep into your own life so you can heal your old wounds. What do you really want in your life? Why don’t you have it yet? Have you even set any goals for yourself? If not it’s time to start, and direct your attention to what you can do right now to make big things happen.
4. Get active
The best way to be depressed is to avoid all activities and stay home, so do the opposite. Get off of that life sucking couch right now and go for a walk. A walk every single morning for 20 minutes will start making you feel better, and more importantly the habit will prevent the post-relationship rigamortis from setting in.
5. See your friends and family
It has a huge effect on our mental and physical health to stay connected with our loved ones. Sometimes a five minute conversation can alter the course of the day and leave us on a positive note. Make a phone call to a friend or reach out to your family to talk, even if it’s only for a few minutes every day.
6. Keep a journal
Write a journal and lay everything out unfiltered on the pages in front of you. Don’t edit as you write because nobody is watching, just spill your guts. Writing is one of the best methods of self therapy.
7. Meditate
While meditating we can often come up with our best ideas, and solve our biggest challenges. Not only that but meditation is proven to reduce stress levels. Start meditating daily with some relaxing music to gain more clarity.
8. Learn something new
Take a comedy course, learn a new language, or get a new certification. Putting your focus into something new will help take your attention away from your old woes and upgrade your life with a new skill.
To make this all work, set it out on a timetable and develop these practices into rituals which you complete daily. If you create rituals which keep you connected with people, positively direct your focus on what you want, and build a healthy body and healthy mind, you will create a foundation which will make you into a stronger person in the worst of times. Not only that, but you will heal your old wounds from your last heartbreak so you can move forward with the things that matter the most.
Do you know somebody who is still stuck on an old flame? Send them this article and post it on Facebook. Questions or comments? Leave your reply below.
