Why It’s Hard To Get Over A Cheater

cheat

verb\ˈchēt\

: to break a rule or law usually to gain an advantage at something

: to take something from (someone) by lying or breaking a rule

: to prevent (someone) from having something that he or she deserves or was expecting to get

From Merriam-Webster

A betrayal from a loved one is an incomparable sear of pain that can leave your head spinning for months to come. Cheating not only leads to the demise of a relationship, but it also brings a plethora of questions that can’t be answered.

What is it about cheaters that make them the hardest lover to get over? They weren’t necessarily the most attractive, the wealthiest, or the nicest, (as their character will certainly attest to) and your feelings of anger and frustration simmer much longer than the relationship.

The entire act of intimacy calls for a brave sense of vulnerability, which a cheating lover will proficiently shatter. Cheaters break the rules and hurt the innocent members of the party.

Cheaters smash your vulnerability:

You found the courage to be vulnerable, as the very act of intimacy demands it. You trusted someone enough to open yourself up to them. You’ve laughed with them, cried with them, and experienced every emotion in-between. They know your hair sticks in five different directions in the morning. They know you snore when you sleep. They know your challenges, your fears, your strengths and your little quirks. So what did this person do, who knew supposedly loved you for who you were? They betrayed you.

Not only does a cheater cause you to judge your own actions, they instill you with self-doubt that leaves you feeling as if you have made a mistake.

Forget the notion that you made any mistake on your part. A betrayal is a betrayal, which comes as something that is out of your control. You cannot fix the morale of another person, nor can you change the past of what has happened to you.

Cheaters break the rules:

Cheaters all have one thing in common: they are inherently selfish. Don’t become mixed up with taking on the guilt that belongs on the psyche of an unfaithful ex. It’s not about who they did it with, why they did it, or even when they did it.

Rather than facing the challenges they face in their current relationships, cheaters take the cowardly route of sneaking off. Don’t let your past relationship become a broken cassette playing in your mind. Did you do something wrong? (No.) Did he find someone more attractive? (It’s not about attraction.) Were they afraid of commitment? (It doesn’t matter.) The cheater is the one who made the mistake. Cheaters cannot be faithful to themselves, much less their own word. Don’t bring yourself down by crouching to their level. You can only heal yourself.

Cheaters break your confidence to trust:

Trust is such an intricate part of life that it’s easy to forget just how important it is. You trust your bank to store your money. You trust the sun to rise, your car to work, and your paychecks to come in on time. You cannot cause someone to cheat, just as you cannot force someone to be a good person. You cannot force an “a-ha!” moment upon a wandering spouse. You cannot make them see that you were really a “catch,” that they should have known better, that it was an inane mistake. As the popular saying goes “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”

Stop making excuses for someone who still needs to grow up:

You can’t suddenly stop loving someone with the snap of your fingers. A weak person isn’t someone who continues to love someone who hurt them, a weak person is someone who cannot stay true to their word. Unfortunately, you were shown the bright side of a worthless coin.

Cheaters are the real broken ones here.