“How do you know when you’ve found The One?”
It may be the same old question, but in 2016, the interpretation has evolved some. Sure, The One can be the person who makes you dream of marriage and babies, but it can also be the person who makes you temporarily stop swiping left. Its 2016, and The One can be The One for right now.
Either way, when it comes to decisions concerning our love lives, we’re often looking for some sort of sign (or reassurance) that we’re on the right track.
Knowing this, PlentyOfFish surveyed more than 1100 former PlentyOfFish users who married someone they met on the site to gain insight into the specific behavior – both online and offline, that means you’re headed for a relationship of the serious variety.
The right first moves:
We decided to ask our married couples about the content of the first message their partner sent them online, and the answers were pretty surprising. In fact, 35% of married women actually contacted their current partner first, serving as inspiration for women who are still on the fence when it comes to making the first move.
The majority of respondents who received the first message from their partner reported them mentioning something specific from their profile that caught their eye.
The second most common message? An underwhelming, “Hey, what’s up?”, basically confirming that yes, your future husband may be lost in the sea of generic messages that is your inbox. At least give him until the second or third message to pique your interest before you write him off completely.
Question: What did the first online message from your partner entail?
| I messaged them first! | 39.63% |
| They highlighted something in my profile that caught my eye | 16.59% |
| They told a funny joke or story | 2.89% |
| A generic, “Hey, what’s up?” greeting | 14.75% |
| They complimented my profile images | 7.71% |
| They asked me something about myself | 8.68% |
| They brought up mutual interests | 7.62% |
| We met using MeetMe | 2.12% |
The right feeling:
Almost 1 in 5 men reported falling in love with their current partner at first sight, and were smitten faster than their female counterparts.
Since the vast majority of the married respondents also believed in soulmates, we wanted to know what it was that made someone one. It turns out, the most important indicators were sharing similar beliefs, considering your partner your best friend, and sharing a connection you can’t explain.
Question: What’s the top trait that makes someone your soulmate?
| Mutual attraction | 1.79% |
| Honesty/loyalty | 10.47% |
| They make you laugh | 4.11% |
| You share similar interests | 1.43% |
| You share similar beliefs and core values | 14.49% |
| They put your needs before their own | 2.15% |
| They’re your best friend | 23.70% |
| You share a connection you can’t explain | 41.86% |
In the end, the most important underlying point from the findings is that singles should stick with it when it comes to dating. All of our couples who met on PlentyOfFish were once going through the ups and downs of looking for love as well.
Question: What is the best piece of advice you wish someone had told you when you were dating online?
| It will all be worth it in the end | 23.18% |
| Send and reply to more messages | 4.44% |
| Forget about having a “type” and follow your heart | 43.98% |
| Allow yourself to have fun | 22.49% |
| Say “Yes” to more dates | 5.92% |
Some people know immediately when they’ve found the right person, and for others, it takes a while. Open your mind and look past an underwhelming first message, or a preconceived “type” of person you want to date – you may surprise yourself!
1 comment
I have met my soul mate, my best friend, my ultimate lover on POF. We are engaged to be married. We love the bones of each other. When he works 4 days on, we feel like we have lost an arm. We are so in love it’s unbelievable. We’ve both been married before too. I swore I’d never marry again, but hey ho things do change your mind, and I’m gunna be marrying my POF man next year xxxx