Finding love is sometimes the easy part when you’re navigating through uncharted waters of what is now very common: dating someone who has children! But love comes in all forms; just because you haven’t experienced this situation before, doesn’t mean it can’t be a huge success and extremely joyful.
Here are 5 pieces of advice to prepare you a little before you jump in:
1: You won’t always be first priority
Even though he wants to make you a priority, in most instances the children will come first, not because you aren’t worthy, but because all children need a certain amount of time and attention. Dating each other will take a lot of honest communication, patience and adaptability on both sides. If it isn’t what you thought it would be, give it some time, as it can progressively get easier!
2: One-on-One time will be rare
Any couple that has children will know that quality one-on-one time is not as frequent because the more people added to the equation, the less time to spend with each individual! Establishing a schedule that allows a fair amount of quality time for you two and the kids separately will help you adjust to this new situation and ensure that everyone feels important.
3: You may have to deal with an unpleasant ex-partner/mother
Blended families aren’t always smooth sailing, and often it isn’t the children who are the problem, but the presence of their mother. The best way to handle this type of scenario is to simply be civil toward the ex partner i.e.: friendly but with boundaries.
4: The children usually have the final say
At times you may find that your new man will do what is best for the children before what is best for the two of you. He wants to be a great father figure to his children and his main responsibility is that his kids are happy. He also may feel slightly guilty that he is dating someone other than their mother.
5: There will be a range of emotions
Needless to say it will be a little bit of a roller coaster at first and depending on the man you date and his situation, it will vary from relationship to relationship. Don’t take it personally but rather imagine yourself in his shoes and this will help you have a better understanding of his actions and what is needed on your part. If you and your partner have a strong enough bond, you will be able to overcome the obstacles.