Have you ever thought about applying the same energy you put toward your career, toward your dating life too? The viral TikTok trend “Quiet Quitting” is all about employees feeling unappreciated at work and not willing to put in the extra hours to go “above and beyond” when they’re not getting paid to. Sound familiar?
Dating and relationship burnout can often have the same effects. If you’re putting in a ton of effort to make something work and the person you’re dating is doing the bare minimum, it may be time to quietly quit that relationship!
Our very own resident dating expert, Kate MacLean, has some tips on when “quiet quitting” should enter your dating life, and how you can use it to score a happier relationship.
- Set your dating boundaries – and stick to them: “Quiet Quitting” is all about setting clear boundaries, particularly when it comes to honoring your work/life balance. How can you set those same boundaries while dating? Singles can feel a lot of pressure to go on multiple dates a week, talk to multiple people at one time, and always “be on the hunt” for that plus one. This can get overwhelming and stressful, leading to exhaustion and dating fatigue – plus it’s just not fun! Limit your swiping to a few days a week, with the goal of sending 5-10 messages a day and reserving just one night a week for a date night. This allows you to be more intentional about the time you spend dating – plus it makes your date time all the more exciting and special!
- If it’s not working – “resigning” is okay! “Quiet Quitting” requires a healthy dose of self-awareness. You need to be able to acknowledge and understand any feelings of discontentment – and act on it. This is the same while dating. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is cut ties and realize that something isn’t working. Due to the pandemic, singles are now more willing and open to ending a relationship because they aren’t content and don’t want to settle (one-in-five women have done this, including 1/4 of Boomers*), leading to a trend we call “Resigning” – not settling for any less than you deserve.
- Be upfront and direct with your needs: It’s human nature to want to make a good impression and be accommodating. However, quiet quitting is all about caring less, and speaking up, something that should be embraced while dating! Especially in the earlier days of a relationship, it’s much more common to stifle some of your fears and concerns in the interest of being seen as agreeable. However, being open about your feelings makes for an excellent way to build trust and understanding, which are core to a relationship’s foundation. Being upfront and direct with your needs from the get-go is a quiet quitting must.
*Nearly 6,700 U.S.-based Plenty of Fish users were polled online in October 2021. Participants were ages 18-60 with 62% identifying as male and 37% female.