5 Reasons Why Self-Love is Important for Relationships

Everyone dreams of having a happily ever after type of relationship, but not everyone is willing to do the work required to get that type of relationship. You want to know the bold truth? Love is doomed without self-love. You need that foundation prior to stepping into relationships.

Rather than jumping from unhappy relationship to unhappy relationship… take a break and utilize that time to get to know you. Instead of seeking the love you desire from others, find that love within you first. Self-love is the foundation upon which you build all your other relationships. Everything comes down to how much you love yourself. EVERYTHING.

Don’t believe me? Take a peek at these 5 reasons why self-love is important for relationships:

You’ll attract better.

When you truly love yourself, you shift your energy and begin to attract better people; people who are worthy of your love. Think about it… Like attracts like. If you’re experiencing a depleted sense of self-love, you will attract people with that same depletion and these types of people will take advantage of you. On the other hand, if you have a radical sense of self-love, you’ll attract people who share that radical inner love and these people will treat you incredibly well.
You have to be what you want to attract, so if you want better, be better.

You’ll improve the quality of your relationships.

Codependency becomes impossible when you love yourself because you are now strong enough to stand on your own two feet. When partners lack self-love, the quality of the relationship becomes toxic because you’re simply trying to fill the void rather than build love from within. Relationships become healthy when each partner embodies a healthy dose of self-love.

You’ll show up differently in relationships.

Say goodbye to neediness, insecurity, and jealousy. With self-love, you’ll show up in relationships as a strong, confident, and secure person. You’ll feel whole, which will exterminate the need for external validation. You’ll love from a place of feeling fulfilled, rather than a place of feeling empty, and you’ll understand your needs which will help you communicate effectively with your partner. When you truly love yourself, you’ll know what boundaries you need to set, what you’ll put up with, and when to walk away. You’ll show up as an empowered person when you embody self-love.

Your partners will treat you differently.

You’ll know your worth. You’ll know exactly how you want to be treated, and you won’t settle for less than you deserve. By showing yourself love, you’ll set the tone for how you want others to treat you in a relationship. Your partners will want to treat you differently because they’ll see you treating yourself differently. Simply put, when you treat yourself with love, compassion, and respect, others will treat you the same.

A happily ever after is possible… you just have to experience it with yourself first. The types of people you attract, the quality of your relationships, the way you show up in relationships, and the way others treat you in relationships will all improve when you fuel up on self-love. Stop the cycle of unhappy relationships by establishing a happy relationship with yourself first.

Build your foundation, and love will find you.

Are you a woman who’s ready to reclaim your self-worth and embrace what you truly deserve? Receive Ruby’s free video and guide here

The REAL Reasons Why You’re Attracting the Wrong People

Let’s be real… Dating isn’t easy. Have you ever experienced that cycle of constantly attracting the wrong people in your life? People who don’t fit what you’re actually looking for… people who don’t actually respect you or have a genuine interest in who you are? We all do it. We all experience cycling through the wrong people, settling for less than we want because we begin to believe that this desired partner is somewhat of a unicorn and impossible to obtain. We give up. We play the ‘victim’ role and assume that the world is against us and sending us all these horribly mismatched partners. But that is so far from the truth…

Here are the REAL reasons why you’re attracting the wrong people:

You Don’t Know Your Worth

How can you expect others to treat you well if you don’t even recognize or acknowledge your own worth? You have to dive into a relationship with self prior to a relationship with someone else. Know your worth. Understand your true value. The more grounded you are in your self-worth, the more rooted you’ll be in confidence.
If you go into relationships with little understand of your self-worth, you have a larger chance of being mistreated. We allow people to treat us like crap when we believe that’s what we’re worthy of receiving. If you don’t know your true worth, you’ll settle for far less than you deserve, and attracting the wrong people.
When you truly value your worth, you’ll stop settling for less. People will treat you better because you’ll be treating yourself better. You’ll have a clearer picture of what you’d like your relationships to look and feel like.

Know your worth prior to stepping into relationships with other people. This will result in attracting people who will respect you, value you, and cherish you for who you truly are.

You’re Unclear On What You Want/Need in A Relationship

If you’re unclear on what you want and need in a relationship, you’ll attract an assortment of people who aren’t right for you. Create a list of everything you desire in a relationship. Then, split that list up into ‘wants’ and ‘needs’. The thought of needing things in a relationship may turn you off but let’s just be honest… we ALL have needs! Recognize those needs and honor them.
If you truly want to attract the right people in your life, you need to be crystal clear on what you want and need. This helps refine the search, but it also helps with attracting the right energy because you’ll be emitting this exact type of energy. When you’re clear on your wants and needs, it will become easier for you to say ‘no’ to the ones who don’t fit. Why waste time with the wrong types when you can spend that time attracting the right types?

You’re Unclear On What You Have to Offer in A Relationship

What do you have to offer in a relationship? What are you bringing to the table? This is so important because the more you recognize your presence and place in a relationship, the more confident you will become as a partner in a relationship.
We all have gifts to share. We all have something to offer. And if you’re stuck trying to figure out what that something is, head back up to reason #1 – Self-Worth. When you recognize your true worth, you’re recognizing your true value. Break it down—what do you bring in a relationship? Are you a good listener? A great supporter? An awesome cook? A fabulous lover? What gifts do you have to share within your relationships? Get clear on that, and you’ll gain the confidence you need to attract people of your calibre.

It’s time for you to break the pattern of attracting the wrong people. Take a step back, have that relationship with self first. Know your worth so you can stop settling for less. Get crystal clear on your needs and wants in a relationship as well as what you have to offer in relationships, and this will ultimately lead to you attracting better people.

You’re not being punished. Life isn’t unfair. You’re just putting out the wrong type of energy. Shift that energy so you can begin attracting the right people in your life.

Ruby Fremon is a Transformational Life Coach, Energy Healer, and Self-Love Advocate. She helps women boost their self-worth and put an end to self-destructive behaviors so they can experience more happiness, gain confidence, and attract love. Ruby combines her love for the metaphysical with her passion for coaching. Crystals, Tarot, and channeling messages are all part of what makes her life-changing coaching programs unique.
Ready to create a life you love? Download Ruby‘s FREE guide “6 Steps to Manifesting Your Dreams” here: www.iamru.by/manifest-your-dreams

Why You Should Trade Your Summer Fling For A Summer Of You


The season of beach parties, bikinis, and driving with the top down. It represents a time where we can let loose and have fun. Summer is truly a season for happiness and for some that happiness comes in the form of summer flings.

I see you… The one’s who use summertime as an excuse for unedited fun. The one’s who throw all relationship rules out the door in exchange for single nights of uninhibited glory. I see you, and I challenge you. That’s right, this post is for you. I’m challenging you to trade in your summer flings for the ‘Summer of You’.

What exactly is the ‘Summer of You’? It’s a time for you to just be you, minus the influence of new and temporary partners. It’s is all about honoring your needs and your growth. The ‘Summer of You’ is about celebrating you. Intrigued? Awesome. Here’s what I challenge you to do this summer:

Prioritize your self-care.

This is the perfect season for you to focus on you. What do you need to experience more happiness in your life? What could you do to show yourself more love? And no, the answer is NOT a fling or one-night-stand. Go deeper. What is it that you are truly seeking? Book yourself in for regular massages, treat yourself to pedicures and fresh haircuts, get lost in books, go for long walks, take a new yoga class, run outdoors… Commit to one act of self-care everyday this summer and see how that changes your life!

Nurture your friendships.

Have you ever had those friends who seem to fall off the face of the planet when they’re in relationships only to return to Earth when that relationship falls apart? Don’t be that friend. Take time this summer to truly nurture your friendships. Create a stronger bond through trips, adventures, and regular hang-time. Use this season to connect to your friends in a way that you’ve never connected before. After all, these are the people who are there for you even after relationships end.

Reexamine what you want.

Do you have a tendency to lean towards the idea of a one-night-stand or fling over a real relationship? Perhaps you find yourself caught in a cycle of crappy relationships? Stop. It’s time for you to reexamine what you truly want when it comes to relationships. You may think you know what you want, but if you’re not getting it, I can promise you that you aren’t clear enough on what that is.

Create something.

Wait what? Am I seriously asking you to work this summer? YES! But not on just anything… I want you to create something for you! Perhaps it’s something that you’ve been thinking of doing for a while but haven’t found the time to do it. Or perhaps it’s something that you really want to create but are scared to create it. Whatever it is… do it! Indulge in a new hobby, work on a new project, craft a new business plan… Create something that brings you happiness. Trust me, this is far more fulfilling than a fling.


Relax. Chill out. Go zen. Use the summer to slow things down and expand time. In our busy world it’s so important to make an effort to slow down so we can reset and prepare for new adventures in our lives. Imagine not having to focus so hard on dating… you’d have so much more time to do other things! So take a deep breath and enter this summer with a more relaxed vibe.

Summertime isn’t just for flings. And let’s be honest… flings don’t offer you anything real in regards to relationships. Instead, I challenge you to take a step back, and indulge in a ‘Summer of You’.

6 Ways To Impress On A First Date

There are two words that can cause sheer panic, excitement, or terror in a single person’s mind. Two words that can cause a single person to shake with anxiety or cram their foot into their mouth. Those two words are FIRST DATE.

We all have them… Horrible first date stories. And if we’re lucky, we’ll also have a rare sprinkle of awesome first date stories… but that’s only if we’re lucky. So what makes a good first date, good? What can you do to ensure you’re doing your best to create a good first date impression? Simple. Follow these 6 rules:

  1. Men – Open Doors & Pull Out Seats. Women – Let Men Open Your Doors & Pull Out Your Seats.

Call me old fashioned, but I absolutely love when my door is opened for me and my seat pulled out. Does that make me a more passive female? No. Quite the opposite actually. I respect men who act gentlemanly, and by accepting their old fashioned behaviors I am showing them that I respect them. They’re doing these things because they respect us, not because they’re trying to disrespect us.

To all the men who aren’t doing this… WHY?? Shove your ego under the rug and open the goddamn door! It’s just the polite thing to do.

  1. Make Good (Not Creepy) Eye Contact.

Making eye contact. Sounds like such a simple thing to do right? Wrong. I’ve seen them all… – The ‘Hunters’: Staring over their dates shoulders, hunting for the next shiny thing.

– The ‘Space-Cadets’: Staring off into space… But seriously, what are they staring at?

– The ‘Dodgers’: They continuously dodge their eyes making it difficult to even focus on the conversation.

– The ‘Creepers’: They hold intense eye contact that kind of feels like they’re thinking about slitting your throat.

– The ‘EBYF’ers’ aka Everywhere But My Face: Ummm, hi. My face is up here, thanks.

So what’s the secret to making good (not creepy) eye contact? Look. Don’t stare. And show emotion through your eyes! Simply put, let your eyes do the talking.

  1. Talk Less. Listen More.

I was one of those kids who would always get an A+ in speaking, and C in listening. My Dad would always tell me: “You have 2 ears and one mouth for a reason!”. I finally get it. If you truly want to connect to your date and make them feel special, listen to them! Give them the space to talk, and pay attention to what they’re saying. Show them that you’re listening by making good eye contact and reframing parts of their dialogues.


  1. Be Yourself.

Let your guard down and just be yourself. You can’t truly connect to someone unless you allow yourself to be authentic and real! We tend to keep our guard up for fear of being hurt… but instead, what happens is that we hold ourselves back from being our true selves. So let that guard down. Be authentic. And allow your date to connect with the real you.

  1. Be Present.

Some people think it’s romantic to jump ahead into the future with your dates… but it’s really not. Stick to the present moment. Immerse yourself fully in that moment with your date and stay there awhile. It’s just you and your date… the rest of the world can wait. And yes, this most definitely means STAY OFF YOUR PHONES! Seriously.

  1. Lead With Confidence.

Confidence is sexy. But don’t mistake confidence for cockiness. Being confident is about loving the person you are and owning your true self. Cockiness is all about the show… Flashy toys, gimmicks, and behaviors that cover up the true essence of who you are… there’s nothing sexy about that. Go into your first date with confidence. Own who you are and feel the empowerment that comes with it! It’s sexy, and your date will dig it.

  1. If You Like Them, Show Them.

Of course, this rule should only be followed if you’ve enjoyed the first date. If things are going well, and you’re digging the vibe

On your next first date, create a solid first impression by following these 6 rules. Who knows… Maybe it’ll lead to a second date.


Spring Clean Your Relationship Clutter

Spring is here! This is the time of year when people clear out their closets, clean their homes, and refresh their wardrobes. But what about the other stuff? The stuff that actually matters? The stuff that you bury in your heart? The stuff that you are too scared to face?

Yea, that stuff.

I call this relationship clutter. It’s old baggage from past relationships – baggage that we either consciously or subconsciously cling to. This clutter is the reason why you’ve found yourself in a cycle of mediocre, awful, or toxic relationships. If you feel as though your relationships seem to embody the same theme… it’s because they do. When you hold onto your relationship clutter, you’re holding onto those stories; you replay events over and over again, driving yourself to insanity. Then you find yourself going out on another date with another mistake because you have yet to learn your lesson.

It’s time for you to spring clean your relationship clutter. Let go of the stories, release the past, and make room for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. You can do so by following these 3 steps:

Recognize Your Clutter

Ask yourself: “What old relationship stories am I holding onto?” Are you holding onto stories of being cheated on? Being dumped? Or feeling neglected? Take some time to reflect back on your past relationships… What did you walk away with? How were you left feeling? Recognize each and every single one of these stories so that you can finally accept their presence in your life.

Acknowledge The Clutter’s Affect On Your Life

How does your old relationship clutter affect you? What type of impact does it have on new relationships? I’m going to assume the impact isn’t positive. When you hold onto past relationship stories, you’re allowing those stories to hold power over you. They will seep into every new relationship experience, tarnishing it from becoming something different. For example, if you’re holding onto stories of being cheated on, you’ll probably find yourself living a ‘victim’ mentality and won’t be willing to trust a new partner. This is how you end up in a toxic relationship cycle. Go ahead – take note of how each past experience holds power over your current life. If you want to gain your power back, you’ve got to clean out the clutter.

Release The Clutter

This step is all about your willingness to move forward. It’s time to release your old relationship clutter. This is where you start dropping F-Bombs, aka FORGIVENESS. You’re probably cringing at the F-word, but that’s because you don’t fully understand how forgiveness serves you. Forgiveness does not condone another person’s actions; it’s about allowing yourself the freedom to let go. The more anger and resentment you hold against another human being, the stronger the bond. Think about it… Remember your ex? The one who cheated on you? How many times a day do you think about them? How have your thoughts about them negatively impacted new relationships? You’ve basically rendered yourself powerless to this person! It’s time to let go. Forgive them, forgive yourself, and cut the ropes that keep you tied to your past. Clean out every single piece of relationship clutter from your subconscious knowing that by doing so, you’ll create space for healthier, more positive relationships. FYI: If you’re having difficulty with this step, I would question your willingness to actually create change.

Relationship clutter is comprised of all our old wounds, hurts, and scars. But guess what? These things heal! You just have to allow them the opportunity to heal. It’s time for you to get rid of that stuff. It’s time for you to rid yourself of these old wounds. And Spring is the perfect time to begin cleaning out your relationship clutter.