There are two words that can cause sheer panic, excitement, or terror in a single person’s mind. Two words that can cause a single person to shake with anxiety or cram their foot into their mouth. Those two words are FIRST DATE.
We all have them… Horrible first date stories. And if we’re lucky, we’ll also have a rare sprinkle of awesome first date stories… but that’s only if we’re lucky. So what makes a good first date, good? What can you do to ensure you’re doing your best to create a good first date impression? Simple. Follow these 6 rules:
- Men – Open Doors & Pull Out Seats. Women – Let Men Open Your Doors & Pull Out Your Seats.
Call me old fashioned, but I absolutely love when my door is opened for me and my seat pulled out. Does that make me a more passive female? No. Quite the opposite actually. I respect men who act gentlemanly, and by accepting their old fashioned behaviors I am showing them that I respect them. They’re doing these things because they respect us, not because they’re trying to disrespect us.
To all the men who aren’t doing this… WHY?? Shove your ego under the rug and open the goddamn door! It’s just the polite thing to do.
- Make Good (Not Creepy) Eye Contact.
Making eye contact. Sounds like such a simple thing to do right? Wrong. I’ve seen them all… – The ‘Hunters’: Staring over their dates shoulders, hunting for the next shiny thing.
– The ‘Space-Cadets’: Staring off into space… But seriously, what are they staring at?
– The ‘Dodgers’: They continuously dodge their eyes making it difficult to even focus on the conversation.
– The ‘Creepers’: They hold intense eye contact that kind of feels like they’re thinking about slitting your throat.
– The ‘EBYF’ers’ aka Everywhere But My Face: Ummm, hi. My face is up here, thanks.
So what’s the secret to making good (not creepy) eye contact? Look. Don’t stare. And show emotion through your eyes! Simply put, let your eyes do the talking.
- Talk Less. Listen More.
I was one of those kids who would always get an A+ in speaking, and C in listening. My Dad would always tell me: “You have 2 ears and one mouth for a reason!”. I finally get it. If you truly want to connect to your date and make them feel special, listen to them! Give them the space to talk, and pay attention to what they’re saying. Show them that you’re listening by making good eye contact and reframing parts of their dialogues.
- Be Yourself.
Let your guard down and just be yourself. You can’t truly connect to someone unless you allow yourself to be authentic and real! We tend to keep our guard up for fear of being hurt… but instead, what happens is that we hold ourselves back from being our true selves. So let that guard down. Be authentic. And allow your date to connect with the real you.
- Be Present.
Some people think it’s romantic to jump ahead into the future with your dates… but it’s really not. Stick to the present moment. Immerse yourself fully in that moment with your date and stay there awhile. It’s just you and your date… the rest of the world can wait. And yes, this most definitely means STAY OFF YOUR PHONES! Seriously.
- Lead With Confidence.
Confidence is sexy. But don’t mistake confidence for cockiness. Being confident is about loving the person you are and owning your true self. Cockiness is all about the show… Flashy toys, gimmicks, and behaviors that cover up the true essence of who you are… there’s nothing sexy about that. Go into your first date with confidence. Own who you are and feel the empowerment that comes with it! It’s sexy, and your date will dig it.
- If You Like Them, Show Them.
Of course, this rule should only be followed if you’ve enjoyed the first date. If things are going well, and you’re digging the vibe
On your next first date, create a solid first impression by following these 6 rules. Who knows… Maybe it’ll lead to a second date.