Most of our dating blunders are a result of bad habits + a “leaf in the wind” approach that allows fate to be the navigator.
When someone wants to become an accountant, they go to school for it. If someone wants to gain muscle or lose fat, they go to the gym and change their eating habits. When someone wants to get into a relationship…they complain to their friends that there aren’t any good men or women.
That’s really just a “get out of jail free” card to avoid taking responsibility for your own incompetence with the opposite sex or willingness to try dating. What I’m getting at with these examples is that there is a clear path to getting X by taking steps A, B, and C.
There are a couple of factors that may be to blame here.
“Conveying the right message to the right people”
Your social skills are not up to par, quite frankly more of an afterthought. What if you could make more friends, have more dates, and feel happier in general by intentionally focusing on how you communicate with people?
Well, you can! Try better eye contact (don’t walk around looking at the ground), smile when you meet someone, and give a firm handshake instead of “spaghetti fingers”. Observe how people react to you and figure out why. Watch other people’s interactions, and even study movie characters to define exactly what the actor is communicating.
Health and fitness
“Energy and vitality will draw people to you”
Ignoring your health and fitness will sap your energy and kill your motivation for anything that requires effort. This can affect your personality altogether and ultimately result in how you communicate with others. The better you feel about yourself, the more attractive you become!
Income and lifestyle
“Control your environment to produce better outcomes”
Everyone wants a better lifestyle, and we’re attracted to safe and secure environments. By controlling your income, you can control which environment you choose to live in and when you are happy in your new found lifestyle, you will be much more inviting to your future partner.
“Opportunities go to those who are bold”
A lot of dating opportunities are missed because we often don’t realize or believe that someone is interested. Our self doubt will steer us away from taking advantage of the opportunities that are presented to us everyday. Having courage means you’re not afraid to fail by taking action and introducing yourself to someone you want to meet.
“I’m a Great Believer in Luck. The Harder I Work, the More Luck I Have”
This quote sums up the principle. What it really means is that the more chances you take, just by pure mathematical odds, you’re going to win more often. Not only will you get what you want by playing your luck, but you’ll also get better and increase your “luck”. That’s why beginners in any field seem much less lucky. It’s really not luck at all.
If you’re not taking a comprehensive approach to your dating life by paying attention to all of the above, the bigger picture will be missed.
On the other hand, if you create a great life around you, it won’t be as hard to invite (or attract) someone to join you
Eddy Baller is a men’s dating and personal development coach. For more ways to crush it in life and dating join his free newsletter.