How to Be An Emotional Genius: Get Straight A’s in Your Love Life

Would you like to be an emotional genius? Someone who has a high level of Emotional Intelligence, and can manage your feelings, understand other’s emotions, and develop great relationships? Now, you can. New research in Emotional Intelligence (EQ.) tells us that developing a high emotional intelligence can help you choose the right partner and maintain a healthy and happy relationship.

Here are four ways you can raise your EQ

Know Yourself and Your Date’s Emotional Style: There are two main personality types in the emotional world: The Thinker and The Feeler.  Thinkers makes decisions primarily with their head (logic); Feelers make choices mainly with their heart (emotions).  Although you may do both, chances are, you are stronger in one area. If you’re a Feeler dating a Thinker, it’s important that you use logic and rational thinking in your conversations—he will fall in love with your mind.  If you’re a Thinker dating a Feeler, then you need to “Think your way” to his feelings— he may need more verbal reassurance and physical affection.

Pick an Emotionally Smart Man: When dating someone, don’t be blinded by surface looks or charm. Look for signs of an emotionally intelligent guy.  An emotionally smart man doesn’t play games (he tells you how he feels), is able to manage his emotions (he doesn’t lose patience at a moment’s notice), and demonstrates empathy (he can sense your feelings).   On the other hand, “emotionally unintelligent” men have a harder time grasping their emotions (they lose patience easily), are oblivious to your feelings, and often have fewer friends due to lack of trust.  Avoid emotionally unintelligent men, and spend time with the emotionally intelligent ones, and you will ultimately find the best man for you for a happy long-term relationship.

Don’t Jump to Emotional Conclusions:  One mistake you may make, especially if you’re a Feeler, is to emotionally misinterpret your guy’s actions.  If, for example, he delays in texting you back, you may jump to a conclusion: “He doesn’t care.” In reality, he may be busy, sad, or not feeling well (or maybe, God forbid, his phone broke). Yes, he may not be interested but regardless of what you’re thinking at the moment, it’s important that you wait and ask him, instead of jumping to a quick emotional conclusion that may be wrong.

Develop Empathy:  One of the signs of Emotional Genius is Empathy—when you can put yourself emotionally in the shoes of your partner.  If you’re an empathetic person, you can sense when your significant other is feeling down—you can pick them up with the right words to encourage and motivate them. Similarly, your goal is to attract an empathetic man who also is in tune with your feelings—who can give you a massage and set up your bath when you’re feeling tired or lousy. Yes, there are empathetic single men out there, and you will find the right one when you are that way yourself. Remember, empathy attracts empathy, and emotional intelligence attracts the same.

As you raise your emotional intelligence, you will discover that one of your best tools is self-awareness. Begin today by being more aware of your feelings and even writing them down in a journal. As your self-awareness and emotional intelligence grows, you will enjoy your relationships more, and you will substantially increase your personal happiness.

Readers can learn more and listen to “BE AN EMOTIONAL GENIUS” Love University Podcast here.

Dr. Alex Avila

Posted by Dr. Alex Avila

Dr. Alex Avila is an award-winning clinical and forensic psychologist who holds four graduate degrees, including a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. A respected college professor, researcher, and bestselling author (The Gift of Shyness, GuyTypes and The 3 Secrets of Happiness), Dr. Avila’s first book, LoveTypes, has been an international bestseller, helping over 40 million followers find compatible relationships and lasting love.
In his work as a forensic psychologist who treats victims of trauma and suffering, Dr. Avila has helped thousands of people transform their pain into power and their fear into desire. In addition, Dr. Avila is the creator of Love University— (now a podcast on iTunes and Podbean)—a multiplatform community of growth and transformation in which people learn how to love themselves, others, and a higher nature.
Dr. Avila’s ultimate mission is to help people live invincibly and with love.
Dr. Avila: “Love is an energy that permeates all things. The secret to ultimate success and happiness is to extend loving energy without expectation. That is the greatest gift of all.”

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