The infamous break up conversation – we hate it, never seem to be prepared to have it, and always exit it with so much left unsaid.
Ever wake up in the middle of the night, after a tearful conversation, because your brain finally thought of that epic one-liner or comeback to all the points laid out by your ex during your breakup convo? Unfortunately for the person being broken up with, you only have a few minutes to process everything your ex has been lucky enough to meticulously prepare. And what’s worse, is when the conversation is sprinkled with the following phrases…
Top 13 Worst Things You Can Say During A Breakup (with a little help from my #squad)
(#1) “I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile, but couldn’t find the right moment.”
Honest to a fault – you may have been wanting to end the relationship a long time ago, but your partner doesn’t need to know the exact length of time you’ve been disinterested in them. Talk about a one-two punch. Remember there is never an ideal time to breakup with someone. When you notice your feelings are waning for your partner or you’ve fallen out of love, you must communicate that with them immediately.
(#2) “Hopefully we can still be friends…?” (awkward sympathetic smile while immediately averting your gaze).
Too soon, too soon my friend. Stop saying this line as it isn’t going to minimize the blow of being broken up with in that very moment. The last thing someone wants to be is your friend during this conversation. Sure, being friends with an ex can work in certain scenarios (perhaps you were really great friends prior to starting your romantic relationship) but oftentimes it’s just weird. Everything is fine and dandy until bam, one of you lands a new beau first or sees another flirting at the bar…queue the drama.
(#3) “I think there is someone out there much better suited for me.”
Oh. that. is. ROUGH. There may very well be, but no one ever wants to hear you say there is someone better than they are. This will immediately have your ex questioning whether you’ve met someone and you just don’t have the guts to tell them yet. Also, it’s just a low blow to the ol’ confidence. There are so many things you may be thinking in your head that have never been more true, but you have to learn to filter these out of the convo. Put yourself in their shoes and think about how this would make you feel, if the situation was reversed.
(#4) “Well we had a great ride…didn’t we?”
Just stop. Let’s not go down the road of reminiscing on your so-called great memories together, as the person across from you is still processing the fact that your relationship is 100% over. A good ride? That’s all this was? A ride. What does that even mean? Let’s hope its not as meaningless as it sounds.
(#5) “I just don’t see myself marrying you. Ever.”
Brutal. Sometimes breakup conversations can get heated, and you spew words that are unnecessary and hurtful. This one can sneak its way out and you will regret it immediately. If you’re breaking up with someone after a long period of dating them, it’s pretty obvious you don’t see a future with them ie. marriage included. They get it.
(#6) “Well I didn’t plan on breaking up with you today, but it just happened to come up…so here we are.”
You’ve just pulled a blind side and the person’s brain immediately goes into overdrive: What was it that caused us to actually break up then? Was it something I just said or did today? Is it a buildup of our latest disagreements? Obviously this is something you’ve thought about doing?
(#7) “Being with you is too effortless.”
(#8) “I just don’t have time for this relationship anymore.”
Two weeks later, you’re strolling down the street in a new relationship. This is a lazy explanation as to why you’re breaking up with someone. Don’t forget, the person whose been with you has witnessed hours of you on the couch watching Netflix and scrolling through The Gram, when you could have been sharing quality time together, or working on the relationship in front of you.
(#9) “I’m going to miss your family though.”
But not “me” evidently. Really rubbing the salt in the wounds with this one. If the tears haven’t started yet, this will crack the damn and the river of tears will come pouring down. Think of it this way; will saying this provide any clarity to the discussion at large? Probably not.
(#10) “I truly hope you can find the perfect person I couldn’t be for you.”
In the person’s mind, that perfect person was YOU. No one is ready to hear about their future with someone else during a breakup.
(#11) “I talked to our friends, and they agree we aren’t well suited.”
So you decided to go straight to the friend group for a second opinion, rather than speaking to the person you really should have had the conversation with in the first place? You can confide in people when you’re making a tough decision, but I highly recommend limiting yourself to the opinions of your closest one or two friends and or family members.
(#12) “You’re just not as fun as you used to be.”
Don’t play the blame game. Steer very clear of personal digs to someone’s character like this one. It’s the equivalent of saying to someone “you’re boring and this relationship ended solely because of you”, which is quite possibly one of the most hurtful insults anyone can ever hear. Keep your pros and cons list you made prior to the conversation, to yourself.
(#13) “I wish we could still have sex though…?”
Oh you did not just say that.