Going Through a Breakup or Divorce? 5 Ways to Move Forward Like a Grown-up

Let’s face it; breakups are hard. No matter how old you are or how long you were together, splitting up hurts. Not only do you feel terrible emotionally but also physically. It takes time for your heart, mind, and body to heal. Even if you initiated the breakup, you still might feel a sense of loss, and even fear about what comes next.

With a little guidance, you can breeze through a breakup easier and come out the other side, a healthier, happier, better, you.

Confront Your Emotions – Don’t Ignore Them

The reason breakups are difficult is because it’s not only a loss of the relationships but also the life you built together. It’s about daily routines, private jokes and everything in between.

That loss of continuity can leave you feeling sad, angry, confused, isolated and even depressed. Remember, everything you are going through is natural.  Allow yourself time to explore the emotions. Right now your feelings are like a roller coaster, allow them to be and let them flow. If you fight your emotions, it will only prolong your suffering.

Don’t go through it alone. Lean on a friend or family member to help you get through it. Let them be there for you while you cry or express your other painful emotions.

Talk about what you are feeling. A counselor or trusted friend with a good listening ear can be very helpful when getting those feelings off your chest. Many people process loss better when they talk through it. If you don’t have someone to speak with, write in a journal. Writing is very therapeutic.

Make Some Positive Changes

Since change is already on the agenda, make it a priority to re-position your life. Instead of looking at constant reminders of your ex throughout your day, get rid of old stuff that brings back memories and replace it with things that spark joy! Switch up the places you go so that everything will be a new adventure instead of a walk down memory lane causing you more pain. Make adjustments where you see fit!

Support Yourself

After a breakup, you are your best support system. Do things that genuinely make you happy!  But don’t overindulge in alcohol or sweets to cope. Be sure to get plenty of sleep, get active, and commit to spending some quality alone time. Find soothing ways to lift your mood when you are feeling the effects of the breakup. Watch a favorite old movie or take a walk. A nice bubble bath sometimes helps. Meditate or join some type of class. There are endless ways you can create comfort for yourself right now to feel better.


Photo by Stephanie Moors on Unsplash

Stop Obsessing Over Social Media 

Don’t ruminate on the past or start obsessing about what your ex-partner might be doing. Many of us troll social media for glimpses of our ex. That is not healthy. Take a break from social media and binge watch a favorite TV show instead. Throw out reminders like painful paperwork. You don’t need to keep looking at those divorce records to remind you that it’s over.

It’s easy to fall into bad habits, but you want to avoid dangerous, self-defeating coping behaviors. Instead, embrace your shiny new future. Remember, helping others is a great way to get out of your head and start feeling better.

Boldly Move Forward

You can’t change the past, so it’s time to map out a new future for yourself. It’s a great time to take stock of your life and figure out what your perfect life looks like. Where do you want to live? What do you want to do for work? The slate is clean; you can be, have and do whatever you want. Make a plan and start moving forward. The end of a relationship can be the best thing that happens to you and a big step in the right direction towards your new future.


Posted by Emily Andrews

Emily Andrews is the marketing communications specialist at RecordsFinder, an online public records search company. Communications specialist by day and community volunteer at night, she believes in compassion and defending the defenseless.

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