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The Pressures of Valentine’s Day & Dating Study

  • January 29, 2020
  • 4 minute read
  • Kate Maclean
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With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, Plenty of Fish surveyed 2,000 singles, to reveal how they really feel about the big day. It turns out, singles are officially over it! 43% of singles consider Valentine’s Day to be the most pressure-filled holiday, with 1 in 5 wishing it was cancelled altogether. 

Read the full insights from the study below. 

NEW YEAR, NEW PRESSURE At the start of a new year, the pressure is on! 40% of singles feel elevated pressure to be better versions of themselves, 1 in 3 singles is focused on improving their dating life as a resolution (interestingly, men are more likely than women to do this), and 1 in 5 wishes Valentine’s Day would just be cancelled altogether.

RELATIONSHIP WISHES With the new year also comes new dating goals and singles rank their top 3 relationship wishes for 2020 as:

  1. Being in a committed relationship
  2. Casual dating 
  3. Friendship with romantic potential 

TIMING IS EVERYTHING? The votes are in, and singles have decided that the best time to be on a dating app is…not right now. It just so happens that 50% of singles have crowned summer the #1 season to be single.

  1. Summer 
  2. Spring
  3. Winter (Cuffing Season, anyone?)
  4. Fall 

VALENTINE’S DAY FEELS Turns out there aren’t many feels this year for Valentine’s Day with the majority (58%) of singles feeling indifferent about the holiday altogether. Only 18% of singles feel excited, 15% feel lonely and 8% feel dread. Surprisingly, men are more likely than women to feel excited about February 14th (21% vs. 17%).

VALENTINE’S DAY… MORE LIKE PALENTINE’S DAY Plenty of Fish has revealed four key Valentine’s Day personalities to watch out for this year based on the survey’s telling results. What category do you fit into? 

  • The PALentines: There’s no better pressure relief than quality time with friends. Seventeen percent of singles, including nearly ¼ of Gen Z (24%), would prefer to spend Valentine’s Day with their friends (and chocolate). 
  • The Hopeful Romantics: Love wins with this group – 23% of singles, including nearly ⅓ of Millennials, prefer to spend the day with a romantic partner. 
  • The Puppy Lovers: Companionship isn’t limited to human interaction. Spending the holiday with man’s best friend is A-OK with the 12% of singles who would prefer to spend the holiday with their pet. Women are twice as likely than men to want to spend Valentine’s Day with their fur baby (15% vs. 7%). 
  • The Forget-Me-Nots: These singles prefer to ride solo and prioritize self-love. The majority of singles (58%) believe it’s more important to focus on self-care on February 14th than a date and over ⅓ of singles prefer to spend the day solo. 

FIRST DATES ON FEB 14 – HELL NO! Sorry fellas, the majority of single ladies are not willing to go on a first date on February 14th (52%) with the exception of Gen Z (60% would go on a first date on Valentine’s Day). And singles would rather spend the night at home alone with no celebration than go for a casual coffee or go for an activity-based date like bowling or golf. 

That said, 24% of singles can be coaxed out of the house by the prospect of a romantic dinner (men, especially, with 24% identifying this is the perfect V-Day date).

PRESSURE FILLED FEB 43% of singles identify Valentine’s day as being the most pressure-filled holiday. The majority of Gen-Zers (60%) report it being so. As singles age, this belief trends downwards. So what are the biggest pressures around the day of love? 

On Valentine’s Day, singles feel pressure to…

  • Be romantic (51%)
  • Be in a relationship (43%)
  • Go on a date (42%)
  • Act like the holiday is meaningful (41%)
  • Spend more money on gifts than they want to (37%)
  • Show others they have a Valentine (36%)
  • Have sex (30%) 

Women report feeling less pressure than men to be romantic, act like the holiday is meaningful, spend money, and even have sex on Valentine’s Day.

COMMERCIAL EXPECTATIONS What is causing singles to feel all the pressure on Valentine’s Day? There are three top sources that singles called out in the study, which are:

  1. Societal expectations 
  2. Advertisements + Marketing
  3. Social Media 

Interestingly, the biggest offenders are external sources. Singles are not feeling pressure from friends and family as much (24%) or from themselves (24%). Women report feeling more pressure than men from social media, and men report putting more pressure on themselves than women

The outliers here are Gen-Zers, who report feeling more pressure from social media than any other source. No surprise there for the generation otherwise known as iGen. 

ROSES ARE RED, IS V-DAY DEAD? 46% of singles admitted they care less and less about Valentine’s Day every year. Despite singles taking a somewhat apathetic approach to Valentine’s Day, only 14% of singles believe it will become obsolete in the next 10-years. Additionally, only 16% of single women have bothered to celebrate Galentine’s Day (Feb 13) with their gal pals.

DATING PROFILE TLC Good news for people dating on apps because singles are giving some serious love to their dating profiles ahead of Valentine’s Day with the following taking priority: 

  1. Replying to more messages (37%)
  2. Updating their profile photos (36%)
  3. Initiating more messages (29%)

SELF-CARE IS IN The majority of singles (58%) believe it’s more important to focus on themselves than find a date for Valentine’s Day (especially women). Furthermore, 15% of singles purposefully take a break from dating altogether when a new year starts up until Valentine’s Day. 


Demographic Overview: 

  • Total Singles: 2,000 
    • Men: 908 (45%)
    • Women: 1092 (55%)
  • Ages: 18-65+ 
    • Gen Z (18-23) 13%, Millennial (24-34) 21%, Gen X (35-50) 26%, Baby Boomer (51-69) 31%, Greatest/Silent Gen (70+) 9% 
  • Location: United States
  • Race/Ethnicity: White 68%, Black 12%, Asian 5%, Hispanic or Latino 11%, Other 3%
  • Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual 84%, Bisexual 6%, Homosexual 6%, Asexual 1%, Other 4%
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Kate Maclean

Kate is the Public Relations Manager at Plenty of Fish. Like a kid in a candy shop, Kate’s favorite things to do are eat mass amounts of sushi, spoon her cat Snoop Dogg, and hike the great Canadian wilderness. Her favorite quote of all time is “People who love to eat are the best people” -Julia Child. If you want to contribute to The Latest Catch, email Kate at [email protected]

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