The scenario is very common: You spot a profile that catches your eye while browsing on a dating app. Their pictures are awesome, they enjoy some of the same hobbies as you and omg they have a dog! You want to learn more about this person and grab their attention with your opening message. You draft up a couple openers but you’re nervous it’s not going to land, so you decide to go with what you know and what you’re comfortable with.
That’s it, that’s all you say and just sit back and wait for the reply. This is what I call a fail my friends. I have to give you some tough love here as this happens all too much for both men and women. I’m going to serve it to you straight – your “Hey” message will likely end up in the abyss of hundreds of other messages. I plead to all of you in the virtual dating world to extend yourself further in your messaging. The “Hey” message, in my opinion, is the equivalent of a dry, 10-day old stale plain bagel lol.
You may be asking, “What is the big fuss?! Why can’t they just respond to my hey message?”
Think about it, this person took time to fill in information about themselves, not only have they opened up to the world, they’re giving you a cheat sheet about them so the both of you have things to spark conversation about. Everyone posts their best photos, they talk about what they like to do and they even expose their age, location and much more. Having all of this information and not one thing to say besides “Hey” gives the prospective match a sense of laziness – even though you may have looked at their profile, it doesn’t appear you have. The simple message also doesn’t include any of your own personality. Anyone can say “Hey.” Think about what makes you unique!
The better approach:
- Acknowledge the photos on their profile (after all, you already checked them out)
- Ask a question or make a comment about one where they’re doing something – It could be as simple as her on the beach with some friends.
- Follow up by saying something like, “Hey, I’m (insert your name or nickname). I like your pic on the beach. What beach were you at?”
This kind of dialogue creates an open-ended conversation and increases your chance of receiving a response. From asking that question, you could find out where she likes to go to have fun. You may get to know more activities that she enjoys. You could even learn a bit about her friends. This leads to knowing more about mutual compatibility instead of leading the conversation off with “Hey.”
The “Hey” often leads to dull conversations or no conversations at all or Q&A conversations that are reminiscent to a job interview. And we all know we hate those.
Men and women pay attention! Grab easy hints from the thoroughly filled out Plenty of Fish profiles. After all, that’s the reason why they created these for you in the first place. It’s so that you can better get to know a person.
Work smarter, not harder. Now go get’em tiger!
Signed yours truly,
Shari (Your fellow Plenty of Fish user)