So, the dating part..? Yeah, that didn’t really happen that much.
For me, dating in high school and college was easy. I was the girl who always had a boyfriend. I usually dated my friends or friends of friends, so there was a bit of a pre-screening for similarities. As I’ve gotten older and the pool of eligible bachelors dwindles down, dating takes a bit more effort. Actually, it takes a lot of effort. Because of my old dating ways, being on apps has always felt a bit foreign to me. Add the pandemic into the mix and I was left feeling very overwhelmed.
Covid on my Mind
I’m an overthinker, so even on my best days, I’m constantly overanalyzing most things. When the pandemic hit, more questions and thoughts were swirling around in my head.
Should I even date someone or meet a stranger during these uncertain times?
I want to prioritize seeing my family and friends, so is it inappropriate to date?
Great, now I have to worry about someone being truthful about who’s in their bubble and where they’ve been (on top of the usual things).
I’m exhausted, is this guy even worth getting ready and leaving my apartment..?
The past year brought on a lot of shifts and changes for everyone in different ways. Ultimately, there were too many things my overthinking brain had to consider and I wanted to somewhat remain in control of my own life (big shocker: I have a Type A personality).
Just Not That Into It
I’ll be honest, most of the time I wasn’t interested in meeting and dating people during the last year. Plus, I didn’t feel like I had the energy to put into it. I went on a few dates, but nothing really went anywhere, so I was a bit discouraged.
If I was spending time on an app, it was mainly because I was bored and looking for some attention or entertainment. Sorry, not sorry. When I was active on apps, these are the kinds of messages I got:
“Holy horse legs. Killing it!“
“Look at all them teeth.“
“When covid is over, are we gonna make a baby?”
“Can I have one of your pictures so I can show Santa what I want in 2021!?“
Like I said—entertainment. Also, were single men malfunctioning this past year? Should we be concerned..? Hot tip – don’t send these types of opening messages for the sanity of women everywhere. I know there are solid guys out there on dating apps (like Plenty of Fish), I just wasn’t very invested yet, and that’s okay.
Choosing to spend the last year not actively dating (for the most part) has pros and cons. Living alone and working from home for over a year took away a lot of my socializing opportunities. I missed meeting new people, having plans, getting ready, and going outside of my apartment to do something other than grocery shop. My job changed twice within the past year, which is exhausting enough without dealing with a pandemic. But not dating anyone gave me space to really focus on myself and navigate through those tougher times.
Do I think I missed out on some potentially great guys? Maybe. But I’ve never been one to force myself into doing something I’m not fully into. I want to show up at 100%, not half-ass my way through, which wouldn’t be fair to my date or me.
The best thing to come out of my dating hiatus: I got the chance to really think about what I want and get clear on who I’m looking for. Being alone has made me appreciate dating more and made me want to put myself back out there.
Through all of the changes with my job, I feel like I’ve really found my place now. Reconnecting with family and friends I haven’t been able to spend a lot of time with has been a huge mood booster. With different parts of the world slowly starting to open up, it has me excited to try new things, meet new people, and get to experience what this “new normal” is all about.
I’m stoked to make new connections, both online and offline, and get out of my comfort zone (aka my apartment). New hikes? New restaurants? Back on dating sites? New opportunities? I’m keen. The city feels like it’s coming back to life and I want to get amongst it. But, just so we’re clear, I’m not ready to wear heels yet.
After a year of doom, gloom, and uncertainty, things are finally starting to look up. And I’m here for it.