5 Signs You’re in The Friend Zone

Meeting a new potential partner is always an exciting time. You start to figure out their availability, compatibility and, hopefully, whether they are in to you or not. However, that last part often lands you firmly in the Friend Zone. This is the place where good friends go and potential relationships die. It’s not necessarily a bad place as you still get a good friend out of it, but perhaps you wanted more?

You Are Never Alone Together

You invite your crush out, hoping for a chance to spend some time together, and he turns up with an entourage of his mates. And this happens Every. Single. Time! This shows he’s not thinking about spending quality time with you one-on-one. He thinks of you as ‘one of the guys’ and so when you call, he gathers the friend group instead.

He Talks To You About Other Women

This one is so classic, it is often used in movies to neatly define the Friend Zoned character. Your crush calls you up to complain or gush happily about that sexy new colleague of his or the hot girl who does reps at the gym. Sorry, but you’re filling the role of the Best Mate here and that means you’re slap bang in the centre of the Zone.

He Makes No Effort With His Appearance

Every time you go round to see him, or he comes over to you, he’s in his ‘lounging gear’. The ones he chooses to slob around the house in. This is his way of saying ‘I’m comfortable around you’ – which is great for friends but not so great for potential partners. If he is not making the effort to spruce up, chances are he is not interested in you.

You Are Close But Never Touch

Crashing on the sofa and watching a movie is not the same as a gentle touch on your shoulder or a hand on your knee. If the person in question always takes the opportunity to touch you when you are near, then there is hope. If they never take that opportunity, no matter how close you get, then you are in the Zone my friend.

He Says You Are Like A Sister To Him

This is the most obvious way any man can let you know that you are firmly in the Friend Zone. It’s almost an unwritten code phrase for the Zone. Honestly, it could not be clearer! He is trying to let you know it’s never going to happen, while at the same time giving you a great compliment so your feelings aren’t hurt too badly. In the end, if you are in the Friend Zone, there isn’t much you can do about it. You can’t force someone to like you, no matter how hard you try. The best thing is to move on and find someone who feels the same way about you as you do about them.

 

Best First Date Spots – Take Your Next Date

So you’ve been messaging someone back and forth on PlentyOfFish for a few days and the connection is on fire, the witty banter is on point and all that’s left to do now is to go on a date…TERRIFYING! It doesn’t have to be! If you’re genuinely excited and simultaneously want to projectile with the thought of the first date, this is great news! This may have potential to go somewhere beyond one night.

Picking a first date spot can be daunting; worst case scenario – you’re in an empty restaurant where the overzealous waiter continually asks how your first few bites are followed by the awkward lurk around your table waiting to fill your water glass because the only other customers are crickets.

Let’s straight up avoid the place where dates go to die and check out my top 10 list of ideal first date spots!

Casual Day Beer

Day date you ask?! YES, dates don’t always have to take place at night at a dim lit bar! There is no rule saying you have to do the “dinner” date the first time around, in fact, I always save this one for later when I know we won’t be sitting in silence for the most awkward 2 hours of life. If you are someone who gets super nervous before a date, I highly suggest grabbing a cold one at a local brewery, pub, or restaurant. Now it’s important to scope the place out before taking a date, as you want to make sure it has a solid vibe and you like the place yourself. It is important to find a joint that has a great beer selection, isn’t too loud (you want to still be able to hear your date) and doesn’t smell like the night before. If you are feeling ambitious and want to add a little something additional to this date, you can tack on a bike ride before hitting up the local watering hole!

 

Sporting Event

If you or your match has a favorite team or sport, I recommend checking out what games are playing in your city! I am no sports fan but I genuinely love going to the stadium and experiencing the excitement of the crowd, chowing down on a juicy vendor hot dog and taking part in the audience “wave.” If the two of you are sports addicts, you just scored the perfect first date idea!

 

Ice Cream & Walk

The one tricky thing about this date idea is it can be seasonal depending on where you live. If it’s snowing, ice cream isn’t usually your first go-to, but fear not, you can sub the ice cream for a hot cup of cocoa at an intimate cafe followed by a walk in the snow. If you permanently experience the bliss of warm weather, ice cream and a stroll around town is a perfect short and sweet date. This is also a great date idea if you are looking to avoid drinking alcohol the first time around.

 

Hike Up A Mountain or a Molehill (depending on your physical prowess)

If you’re Tony Perkis from the 1995 Jud Apatow film Heavy Weights, this date idea is perfect for you. Do not, I repeat, do not take your date on a 10 hour hike. I know you may want to impress them with your bulging calves and buns of steel but this isn’t the time nor the place. You will end up looking like a show off and that is a huge turnoff. If you know your crush enjoys exercise, suggest a 5-7 kilometre hike that will take you max 3 hours. Hikes can be unpredictable as some trails aren’t marked as well as others; make sure you’ve done the hike in the past and can confidently lead the way! Getting lost in the woods will not get you a second date because you would be lost…in the woods.  

 

Picnic in the Park (weather dependent)

I am a complete sucker for a guy holding a blanket, loaf of fresh bread and a wheel of Brie. He had me at cheese. A park picnic is a great location for a first date because there is a lot going on and it forces you into the great outdoors. If the two of you are nervous and struggling to find things to talk about; you can resort to one of my favorite pastimes – people watching. Hopefully this isn’t the case and you are playfully feeding each other grapes and sipping on fine wine!

 

Mini Putt

You don’t need to be Tiger Woods to make this a hole in one! All you need is a great attitude and some friendly competition. Mini putt is a safe win; you are playing an activity, it’s quiet enough to chat on the course and your date can show you a thing or two about your swing or vise versa which will allow you to get closer (physically 😉 ). Now this is where the fun comes in; place a bet on the game to give it a competitive edge. Example – If you win, he has to run around the course in nothing but his briefs and if he wins, he gets a kiss! You can play around with bets you two are comfortable with.

 

Cooking Class

If you’re a foodie like myself, and by foodie I mean, will eat anything and everything placed in front of you, taking a cooking class with your date is a great way to interact, get your hands dirty and find out what kind of food your date enjoys. Also it’s a secretive way of checking if you’ve got a Bobby Flay on your hands or a Delivery Boy. You will learn something new about one another and possibly gain ideas for your second dinner date!

 

Raw Canvas (for the artistically inclined!)

Maybe you’ve taken a look at the list so far and nothing screams great first date because you dislike sweets, hate all forms of physical activity and aren’t a drinker! But seriously who doesn’t like a good mint choco cone!?

This date option may be right up your alley! For those of you who don’t know what raw canvas is, it lets you get creative with your date through the art of painting! You can find studios that have classes that will supply the materials and give you an intro on where to begin your composition! Give Picasso something to be jealous about! 

 

Improv Games or Comedy Show

If you appreciate a great sense of humor, this idea will have you and your date in stitches! Going to a comedy show is a perfect way to break the ice and share a laugh with your new match. If you want to take it a step further, improv games are hilarious and sometimes require audience participation. You and your new beau can show off your own set of skills.

 

Get Your Brunch On

Brunching appears to be the “trendy” thing to do these days and nothing wakes me up more than a morning mimosa! You may be asking how is this any different from a dinner date? Well a couple things, a brunch date is much more casual as it takes place at around 11am vs. 11pm and usually the service is very speedy for quick turnover; therefore, you can be in and out if the date is a complete bust. For those of you who are dating on a dime, brunch tends to be on the cheaper end of dining and this date won’t break your bank!

 

Alright there you have it; the inside scoop on where to take your next date. You literally have no excuses; I just planned the date for you, now all that’s left to do is schedule a day and time and you’re already one step closer to Date # 2!

 

Take Your Online Connection Offline with These Tips!

When it comes to dating options, there is without a doubt no shortage of ways to connect with hopeful singles. Nowadays, technology has made it easier for people around the world to connect virtually from almost anywhere! But here’s the kicker; no matter how long you chat online with someone or engage with people in the digital world, in order to fully maximize on the relationship, you will eventually want to get offline and meet in person. Right? Hopefully you have an end goal in mind – to find a great relationship! These 4 simple steps will guide you on a path to take your online connection offline!

 

Step 1: Set Goals For Your Love Life

We often think goal setting is simply for business, fitness and life goals. Yes, it’s great to have goals for all of those things, but it’s equally important to set goals for your love life so you’re not wasting your time. Set a goal, have a plan and most importantly set a deadline. The dating world shouldn’t be an eternal resting place. Plan to get out of the chat game and set up a date in the real world!

 

Step 2: Strategize A Way To Meet And Connect Offline

Making a connection isn’t too tricky, but first you have to set a standard for your ideal mate and once you find that person, take proactive steps towards getting better acquainted and interacting with one another offline. You could meet for coffee or a drink! If there’s no method to your madness, you’ll struggle with achieving success in dating, much less, even see the beginning stages of a relationship.

 

Step 3: Stay Consistent

Now that you’re set your goals, you’ve started working on your plan and the sparks are flying, it is important to stay consistent. A relationship isn’t about a short-term victory; it’s about long-term results. Use your online dating experience as a meeting place, a stepping-stone, and a starting point, but be sure to keep the ball rolling. If you’re serious about a guy, show him through your actions (i.e. regular phone conversations, face-to-face interactions, introductions to important people, etc).

 

Step 4: Set Standards

A man respects and admirers a woman for her standards. Throughout life, a man will meet women who don’t pose any sort of challenge and quite frankly, he may get bored. But not you, you’re “The One”. What makes you different than all the rest, is that you give him something to look forward to by keeping him on his toes and giving him something to live for. This is secretly every man’s hearts desire.

POF Survey Reveals 80% of Millennials Have Been Ghosted!

PlentyOfFish recently surveyed 800 millennial daters between the ages of 18-33 and almost 80% of singles answered YES to having been ghosted (someone they were dating suddenly ceased all communication without an explanation)!

 

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Surprising? Not entirely.

This percentage is high but it is also to be expected. Online dating is a great platform to meet a plethora of singles versus 10-15 years ago when we were limited to dating within our immediate social circle. When you meet someone online, go on a couple of dates and come to the realization it isn’t going anywhere, your immediate reaction may be to trigger the avoidance tactic. You send messages few and far between in hopes your date takes the hint.

Since the likelihood of running into this person down the road is low, paired with the convenience of hiding behind a device, millennials have opted to take the easy way out by ghosting one another instead of giving a clear, “I’m just not that into you,” answer.

I think I speak for most when I say, all singles want is honesty. 

So now you may be asking, “Ghosting Scott last week wasn’t the best thing to do?!”

Ding Ding you’re correct!

Ghosting Scott was a poor choice on your part and I am here to tell you what to do when ghosting feels like the only option!

SCENARIO ONE: “I’ve gone on one date with Scott, ONE DATE, do I need to let him know I’m not interested?”  

Accordingly to the PlentyOfFish survey, 40% of singles will follow up 1-2 days after a first date if they see the potential in a second. Therefore, if Scott messages saying he had an absolute blast and would like to see you again, the appropriate response would be to let him know, unfortunately, you didn’t feel a spark but wish him all the best! At least a quick heads up will let Scott know he can move onto the next.

If Scott does not follow up after the date; it is evident the both of you are on the same page and a message is unnecessary.

SCENARIO TWO: “Scott and I were dating for two weeks before I ghosted him. Now I feel guilty because he was a great guy and he’s been messaging me but there is zero text banter and absolutely no spark.”

You can still make amends based on two factors; how long you’ve ghosted them for and when they last sent you a message. If it’s been over two weeks, let’s not rub salt in the wound.

If you haven’t spoken to Scott for under two weeks while he’s been trying to reach out, you can clear the air by sending a quick apology text as to why you’ve been MIA for the last week and that he’s genuinely a sweet guy, but unfortunately there is no connection for you.

If you’ve cut off all communication for over two weeks and Scott hasn’t reached out for over a week, there is no follow up required. He got the picture. And you never know, maybe Scott is within the 14% of singles from the PlentyOfFish survey, who admitted to having scheduled multiple dates for one day/night! Scott wastes no time!

SCENARIO THREE: “I ghosted Scott after a couple dates because I wasn’t ready at the time, but now I regret my decision and want to give it another shot! Can I message him?” 

If you don’t give it a proper go, you will never know. You have to consider and respect that Scott may have moved on to dating someone else while you were flip-flopping. The best thing to do here is draft up a message to Scott admitting your cold feet the first time but that you would love to get together for a coffee/drink on Saturday if he is interested!

Worst case scenario, Scott doesn’t reply. That’s okay, you’ve just been given a taste of your own medicine and you move on.

Or.

You may be pleasantly surprised and Scott agrees to take you up on your offer.

“Ghosting” has become the newest trend when ending a relationship, but we have the ability to change that by revisiting the “old school” method of honest communication. At the end of the day, 73% of single millennials are all looking for one thing, a serious relationship. Don’t waste each others time!

What To Do When Your Online Conversation Comes To A Halt

So, you finally find someone online with an exciting profile. You’ve messaged them a friendly “hello” and they’ve responded. Nice!

Well, not so much. You message them back and the only thing you get in return is the sound of crickets chirping. What’s a smart, sexy single to do?

First and foremost, take a deep breath and remember that this person isn’t yet a part of your ‘everyday’  life. So if this online pen pal doesn’t lead to a relationship, it’s not a big deal. There are plenty of other people available online.

Second, if you really think there may be a connection and you suspect that your potential special someone may be wondering what to write back to you, then there is something you can do: send a follow up message with a question that expands the conversation and makes it easy for them to engage with you.

Let me give you an example.

Perhaps in your initial message you gave a friendly hello and asked a light and breezy question about something in their profile — like, “You went camping in the Grand Canyon? I love it there! What were your favorite hiking trails?” They respond to your question, to which you say, “I LOVE that trail, it is so beautiful!” And then… silence (chirp, chirp!).

At this point, you could either wait for their response, which you may never get, or you can message them again and ask another light and breezy question: “Where else have you hiked?”

The beauty of online dating is that people usually list their favorite topics in their profiles. So if the Grand Canyon conversation is a dud, you can refer back to their profile and ask another question about something else they’re passionate about. Perhaps they’re also addicted to “Game of Thrones.” Hopefully your additional message will re-engage them. If everything goes really well, you’ll soon talk on the phone, meet in person and perhaps go on from there to an amazing relationship.

But if you send that additional message and they don’t respond, just move on. There’s no shortage of singles online and there’s no need to exert too much energy on someone who isn’t giving you the energy and attention you deserve in return.

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Online dating can be a lot of fun if you choose to invest your time only on the people who are available and quickly forget the ones who aren’t.

I hope you find what you’re looking for online and please let me know how you’re doing on my facebook or twitterFor more dating tips please check out my book, “Flirt For Fun & Meet THE ONE,” and cheers to your dating success!

Can You Be Friends With An Ex?

The answer is yes! – But it’s complicated.

There is something that drew you to this person; something more than their winning smile. It is natural for a person to desire a level of friendship after the romance has ended. Whether you are craving a best friend or an acquaintance, when it comes to answering the age old question, there are more than a few things to consider.

Are there any lingering emotional feelings?

You cannot be friends with your ex if one or both of you still harbors a romantic hard on for the other person. You just can’t. In a lot of ways being friends with your ex means you get a lot of the good parts of that person. The headaches associated with dating are left behind, leaving room for the uncomplicated stuff. If you are still attracted to your ex romantically, it will confuse your brain into thinking there may be something more than just friendship. It becomes easy to forget the initial reasons as to why you ended things in the first place.

Were you friends before?

Sure, it may be difficult to remember a time when your ex wasn’t part of your life. But think hard and be honest. Not only were you friends before but what level of friendship did you have?
If you and your closest pal gave dating a go and managed to end things like all stars – amiably – don’t punish yourselves. If you can handle being friends, be friends! It’s difficult to turn the part of your brain off that cares deeply for the other person. You’ve handled things like a boss, gained a life experience and now you get your pal back. Avoid interfering in your ex’s impending love life and your friendship should be golden.

 
This doesn’t quite work as well if there was never an initial friendship. Perhaps you grew to be great friends overtime, as you were dating. But, keep in mind this friendship evolved amidst feelings of infatuation and lust. It’s not impossible, but tread lightly. Most importantly, let the dust settle on your romantic relationship before forcing something that wasn’t even there before.

Will this friendship interfere with future relationships?

Friends who were once exes should never make future significant others feel threatened. If you remain friends with an ex and start dating someone new, there are many feelings to keep in check. If at any point your current other half feels the friendship with your ex is more than a “friendship,” it’s time to reassess. While you and your ex may think nothing of the friendship your new partner may be intimidated by the meaningful bond you once shared.

 
Once the relationship has ended and you’re no longer swimming in an ice cream tub of self-scrutiny it is not unfounded to consider a friendship with your ex. If you are able to have a great friendship with your ex – where there is mutual respect with all parties involved – than, go you! You’re killing it at being a mature, affable adult!

The 3 Best Questions to Ask Your Online Date

The entire point of online dating is so you can meet someone online with the intention of meeting “offline” or in real life. Unless you want to remain a virtual dater, I always suggest you create a successful strategy to online dating that will help you to go on more first dates and increase your chances of meeting someone you’ll connect with. A great way to know if someone is worth meeting, is to have a set of what I call K.Y.D’s “Know Your Date” questions.

Here are the 3 best questions to ask your potential online date and why they are important.

What are your current relationship goals?

It’s a good idea to know right off the bat whether you and your potential online date share the same relationship goals. This is one of the first things you want to clarify outside of whether or not they are single. Some people who are dating online are there for various reasons and at different stages in their dating life. You could be dating online because you’re bored in your current relationship, you recently broke up with someone and now want to play the field or you could be at a point in your life where you are ready to find Mr.Right, have babies and settle down within the next year! Asking someone what their relationship goals are seems pretty common sense to me.

 

What are five things you can’t live without?

I love this question because you get great insight about what’s really important to the person you’re dating. He may say his mom, his iPhone6, his boys night of poker, his Jack Daniels, his German Sheppard, Sunday night football or his X-box addiction. The answers are limitless and what you get is an opportunity to imagine what life may be like to live with the things he can’t live without. Are you really interested in competing with his season tickets during his favourite sports season, or dealing with his heavy metal music play list before he goes to bed every night? I am not suggesting that all the items in his list will be terrible or incompatible, however there may be some deal breakers and red flags for you to take note of.

 

What are your deal breakers or turn-offs in a relationship?

This question is really a gift to you. Knowing his automatic turn’off’s is a key factor to determine compatibility. A great way to see if he’s ruled you out of his dating pool if anything he mentions is a deal breaker you possess. There’s no point in pretending that you don’t smoke if he says that smoking is deal breaker or going to church on Sundays when that’s where you know you’ll be on the weekend. What if the guy you’re interested in says that he hates women who wear a lot of make up. You happen to be a make up artist, have the largest make up collection ever and wouldn’t be caught dead without your lipstick and bronzing powder before leaving the house? Clearly this is something you don’t have in common.

There you have my suggested best 3 online dating questions to determine whether the guy you like is worth meeting offline and going on a first date.

5 Signs You’re Forcing A Relationship

Relationships should NEVER feel forced. They should grow organically and bloom into a long lasting beautiful correlation. This goes for both romantic and friendly relationships.

If you currently feel like you are “forcing a relationship,” I highly suggest you take a seat and review the following…

Are they the right one?

So you’ve been catching yourself wondering lately, “hmm, I don’t know if this is right.” I know the feeling… and let me tell you, that is the first sign that opens another can of questions that puts the relationship into perspective. So what does “right for each other” mean anyway? Right for each other is when you laugh at each others jokes, share a conversation through eye contact, and find yourself chatting for hours. You have similar taste in food, music, activities, dreams, and pet preference (yes, you’ve read that correctly, if you love dogs and he doesn’t, it’s not going to work…FYI)

I’m feeling ignored…

So you need to have a serious talk about your feelings, work, or maybe what you had for lunch (yes, lunch is serious business, I want you to know all about the amazing grilled cheese sandwich I had today.) During this conversation, your significant other ignores you, or looks completely disinterested; and that my friend, really sucks! Your partner is the person you want to tell everything to, from your epic meal time to your deepest darkest fears. If your partner has absolutely zero interest in listening to you (and vice versa), there will be sorrows down the road. Resentment will eventually build up, making you miserable and wanting to hang out with other people. 

I can’t tell them anything!

Ah, right here, this one! This is a real relationship killer. You MUST feel comfortable telling your partner everything you are feeling, the positives and the negatives. If you can’t, they are not the one for you. It’s as simple as that. Don’t worry though, you will move on to meet new people and gain new experiences that will result in finding that special someone. You can tell him/her anything and everything, and they won’t judge or look down on you. There are nearly 8 billion people on Planet Earth and someone out there is a match for you. Life has shown me to never give up, there is a right time and place for everything, and until then, the quest continues…

I’m feeling trapped and suffocated

There are many reasons one can feel trapped in a relationship. A lot of times, issues can be resolved by one vital ingredient: Communication. You may feel suffocated because he/she texts you every 30 minutes which, if you ask me, is extremely inconvenient and annoying. The nice person that you are, doesn’t want to say anything to hurt his/her feeling. Guess what!? You must express how something makes you feel, ALWAYS. You can say something like this:  “Hey, I enjoy our chats, but lately I’ve been feeling a little suffocated by your frequent messages.” If there is a future for the two of you, he/she will understand, apologize and take the constructive criticism. If the chat results in an unresolved argument, move on! This means you may not be compatible, as previously mentioned. It is best to release Tommy Texter to someone that will actually enjoy and appreciate all the messaging. True Story!

I can’t imagine growing old together

If the idea of a future together doesn’t excite you, big red flag! With the right one, you should be dreaming about and planning all the awesome things you want to do with that person. Your soulmate, as they say. If you aren’t  doing that with your current partner, it’s time to have a chat with yourself. Is it fair to you? Is it fair to the them? Perhaps you are wasting each others time in a relationship that has nothing to offer in the long run. Maybe you guys are better off  just being friends. It’s always helpful to build a pros and cons list. What do you like about this relationship?  What do you dislike? Remember, you have to stay true to yourself and to the other person. Life is too short to force yourself into a relationship that isn’t bringing you any joy.

If you have a feeling your current relationship is inevitably heading toward the finish line, take everything you’ve learned along the way as a lesson to help you grow to become wiser and stronger.

 

5 Reasons to Date an Outdoorsy Guy

Whether you live, sleep and breath outdoor living or prefer a more ‘at home’ lifestyle, there are tons of great reasons why dating an outdoorsy man might be the solution to your dwindling motivation towards fixing up yet another bland and predictable date. Sure, there are some things about mountain men that don’t tick all the boxes, but we all know there’s no such thing as the perfect man – right?! So, here’s why outdoorsy guys are the next best thing and setting up some adventurous dates might turn things around for you this year.

Shiny Happy People

Those who spend lots of time doing the things they love tend to be pretty stoked on life. Couple this passion with physical activity and its serotonin boosting effects, and it is no surprise that outdoorsy guys are pretty upbeat, happy and generally fun to be around. And what could make a gal happier than being with a happy guy?

Hot Property

Let’s not pretend looks aren’t important – they are, and whilst most outdoorsy men won’t spend more time in front of the mirror than you, they sure know how to look after their bodies. As their main tool to happiness, they will take great lengths to getting strong and fit for optimal performance in their sport. The results are there to be enjoyed – so embrace them!

Big Softies

To fully enjoy the wilderness in all it’s glory, most outdoorsy guys have a deep and honest respect for their playground and it’s preservation. Their tough exterior is easily broken down by their love of animals and nature, exposing a soft and considerate quality that is irresistible to even the most cynical amongst us.

Easily Pleased

The way to the hearts of wilderness wanderers is a straightforward journey, with great value placed upon the simple things in life. So forget about fast cars and expensive bars, you’ll get more out of your outdoorsy guy over a good mug of coffee with a perfect view. Their passions make them super easy to buy for too, with gear, gadgets, guide books and maps, all being essential to outdoor junkies. Receiving them as a gift will make them (and you) even more precious.

Practically Perfect

…with their hands, and they love to show it. Rigging up some shelter at a rain-drenched BBQ is an irresistible opportunity to prove their practical abilities and score huge man-points whilst they’re at it. But that can-do, problem solving, fix-it attitude (when backed up with actual skills) doesn’t come along every day. So before you go hiring an expensive service to sort out your domestic mishaps, fix up some dates with outdoorsy guys and ask them how skillful they really are with their hands!

Top 5 Ways to Improve Your Dating Game

Most of our dating blunders are a result of bad habits + a “leaf in the wind” approach that allows fate to be the navigator.

When someone wants to become an accountant, they go to school for it. If someone wants to gain muscle or lose fat, they go to the gym and change their eating habits. When someone wants to get into a relationship…they complain to their friends that there aren’t any good men or women.

That’s really just a “get out of jail free” card to avoid taking responsibility for your own incompetence with the opposite sex or willingness to try dating. What I’m getting at with these examples is that there is a clear path to getting X by taking steps A, B, and C.

There are a couple of factors that may be to blame here.

Social skills 

“Conveying the right message to the right people” 

Your social skills are not up to par, quite frankly more of an afterthought. What if you could make more friends, have more dates, and feel happier in general by intentionally focusing on how you communicate with people?

Well, you can! Try better eye contact (don’t walk around looking at the ground), smile when you meet someone, and give a firm handshake instead of “spaghetti fingers”. Observe how people react to you and figure out why. Watch other people’s interactions, and even study movie characters to define exactly what the actor is communicating.

Health and fitness

“Energy and vitality will draw people to you” 

Ignoring your health and fitness will sap your energy and kill your motivation for anything that requires effort. This can affect your personality altogether and ultimately result in how you communicate with others. The better you feel about yourself, the more attractive you become!

Income and lifestyle 

“Control your environment to produce better outcomes” 

Everyone wants a better lifestyle, and we’re attracted to safe and secure environments. By controlling your income, you can control which environment you choose to live in and when you are happy in your new found lifestyle,  you will be much more inviting to your future partner.

Courage 

“Opportunities go to those who are bold”

A lot of dating opportunities are missed because we often don’t realize or believe that someone is interested. Our self doubt will steer us away from taking advantage of the opportunities that are presented to us everyday. Having courage means you’re not afraid to fail by taking action and introducing yourself to someone you want to meet.

Effort 

“I’m a Great Believer in Luck. The Harder I Work, the More Luck I Have”

This quote sums up the principle. What it really means is that the more chances you take, just by pure mathematical odds, you’re going to win more often. Not only will you get what you want by playing your luck, but you’ll also get better and increase your “luck”. That’s why beginners in any field seem much less lucky. It’s really not luck at all.

If you’re not taking a comprehensive approach to your dating life by paying attention to all of the above, the bigger picture will be missed.

On the other hand, if you create a great life around you, it won’t be as hard to invite (or attract) someone to join you

 

Eddy Baller is a men’s dating and personal development coach. For more ways to crush it in life and dating join his free newsletter.