No matter what we tell ourselves, breakups are never easy. Feelings have been hurt, questions and doubts keep haunting us. There are holes in our weekly schedule that need filling, and we rarely come out of them feeling unscathed.
Sometimes, we feel like we’ve just been through a cement mixer, completely flustered and weighed down by emotion. . We want nothing but to hide under the covers for a good long while, with nothing but Netflix’s greatest hits keeping us company.
If you want to try something other than the abovementioned course of Netflix remedies, here are four other (healthy) ways to bounce back.
1. Write Your Thoughts Down
One of the many issues with breakups is that they leave us with thoughts we can’t seem to just shake off. And while talking to friends and family certainly helps (a lot!), we don’t always feel like talking about it over and over again.
A great way to let go and start understanding the situation and your feelings better is to journal. You don’t have to do it diary-style. Just write down your thoughts as they come to you and go back over them after a couple of days. It will help you process and perhaps unveil the root cause of what is making you most upset.
You can also try writing about the experience from different angles. Try to highlight the negatives, the positives, and the lessons you’ve learned.
2. Pamper Yourself Silly
I am in no way saying that a pamper session will help heal a broken heart. It will, however, make you feel a little bit better in your own skin, especially if you go to absolute town and do everything from a mani and pedi to an entire spa day at home.
If you don’t feel like it, you don’t have to make it a full-blown event. Something as simple as adding a new calming toner to your routine can be just that little pick-me-up you needed.
This is also the best possible time (and excuse, if you needed one) to wear some of your favorite outfits, try out some new makeup tutorials, cook (or order in) some of your favorite meals. It’s the little things that make our days better, so sprinkle plenty of them around for maximum bounce-back effect.
3. Try Something New
One of the best ways to stop that negative thought spiral is to occupy your mind with something else. Distractions aren’t a cure, but they will give your mind and heart what they sorely need: time.
Instead of resorting to the habits and hobbies you’ve already developed, try engaging in a brand new activity. This will take hold of your thoughts in a more profound (and more firm) manner, and you won’t find yourself overthinking the situation as much or as often.
Consider the things you’ve always wanted to do. They don’t have to be (in fact, they shouldn’t be) any major challenges. Maybe you’ve always wanted to try a certain restaurant? Or make a certain baked good? Maybe you wanted to watch Breaking Bad after all these years?
As long as it’s new to you and it is truly of interest, go for it!
4. Mute Social Media
Social media is an incredible window you can rely on for distraction, but sometimes it’s best to mute it… or at least certain parts of it.
Start by muting (if not unfollowing) your ex. You don’t really need to see what they’re up to. Even when you want to just take a look, it’s best to block them rather than venture there, at least for the time being. The act of removing all photos of your ex off your own account can also be super therapeutic – it’s called sanitizing (timely, I know). Since most of us aren’t out here announcing our breakup to the world either, this also lets other people read between the lines. Even if it was the most amicable of breakups, blocking your ex or sanitizing your social isn’t meant to be personal. It’s an act of self-care that’s often incredibly helpful in helping us move on.
Then, you can also start muting all accounts that make you feel bad (shall we say worse?) in your current mental state. They may be accounts of influencers you keep comparing yourself to that are opening some fresh wounds, or it might just be accounts with content that you just don’t want to see right now.
You can always unmute and follow these accounts again. For the time being, prioritize your own mental wellbeing over someone else’s follower counts and engagement rates.
Bouncing back after a breakup often involves prioritizing yourself for a while. Don’t fall into the trap of considering yourself selfish when choosing to do so. Your friends and family will understand.
Remember not to try and force yourself to feel better quickly. A lot of healing just requires time (and a bit of TLC) and can’t ever be rushed. The more you focus on the fact that you are not yet feeling great, the worse you are bound to feel.
Small and determined steps, a lot of me-time and self-prioritizing, and you’ll one day notice you are back to feeling like yourself.